love, break, and learn [c]

Newleaf promised new beginnings. That’s what Wrenpaw tells herself, anyway. New beginnings, a fresh start, a better future. Progress was slow, like the melting of ice and the blooming of flowers, but day by day, Wrenpaw dragged herself towards her own future, a future increasingly murky and uncertain. And through it all, there was Willowwisp. Wrenpaw leaned on her sister’s side as she walked. She’s not as shaky on her paws as she was, but she still felt grateful for the support. Even carrying her own weight from place to place was exhausting.

It seemed so much had changed since she last just walked the territory at her sister’s side. She’d lost Sandyshell, she was no longer training to be a medicine cat, her body seemed to have completely failed her, and an entire war with Skyclan had come and gone. (Wrenpaw had felt so useless throughout it, throughout all of it.) All of her siblings had become such great warriors, and here Wrenpaw still was, stuck swimming in this current of uncertainty. Wrenpaw longed for the simplicity of kithood in that moment, when she felt strong and her future felt secure.

But those days were long behind her, and all she had was now. Wrenpaw found herself scanning the underbrush for herbs absentmindedly; she could at least make herself useful on this walk by bringing home some herbs for Littlesplash. They weren’t going far from camp, just stretching Wrenpaw’s legs and building her strength. Wrenpaw knew all the logic behind the slow going nature of treatment, and that didn’t stop her from being frustrated with it.

“It’s a nice day.” Wrenpaw said, breathing in. “Been a while since I felt a Newleaf breeze. That Leafbare felt like it lasted forever.” The deep breath resulted in a small coughing fit, and Wrenpaw wrinkled her nose and shook out her fur when it finished. “Wanna go towards the river?” Wrenpaw asked hopefully.

Willowwisp

Once upon a time Willowwisp had felt so guilty about feeling jealous of her siblings; they all were moving onto bigger and better things so much faster than her, like warriorhood or becoming an apprentice to their medicine cat. Then, seemingly all at once, it all fell apart around her: Tinyshadow disappeared and Mistwalker was forced to retire and Wrenpaw got so sick that Willowwisp feared she would die, only instead for her to be forced out of her training while she recovered. Willowwisp was now left the only warrior still standing and it was quite a shock when she recovered from her own sickness to find that it was the case.

She tried not to think about it too much. Things that were in the past are behind her, after all; that’s what she told herself. Willowwisp instead put focus towards looking after her sisters. She visited Mistwalker when she could and now she saw with Wrenpaw as they enjoyed the heat of newleaf. It was nice to spend time with her sister now that Wrenpaw was no longer so sick that she could not stay awake. It was slow-going getting her back to warrior training, but that was fine in Willowwisp’s eyes. After all, she wanted her sister to be healthy most of all.

“It did feel like forever,” Willowwisp agreed. Her fur prickled when Wrenpaw had a coughing fit and she pressed a little closer to her sister; protectively even. The coughing eased and so did Willowwisp. “The river sounds nice.”

They made their way through the territory. Willowwisp kept her sister’s pace, in no rush to push her along. She looked up at the clear sky above them and tried to focus on the nice atmosphere.

As they walked, she meowed, “How has treatment been with Littlesplash? You have been improving faster, I believe.” Sandyshell had grown so ill by the end that Wrenpaw’s treatment had all but stopped until Littlesplash had been trained enough to earn his full name. Willowwisp was glad that she was improving now after so long being stuck in a deep sickness.

RiverClan • T4 Warrior • She/Her • 60 | 140 • #6abcde

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“Good,” Wrenpaw mewed in response to Willowwisp’s question.“I’ll be back to normal before you know it,” She said with a faint smile. She certainly hoped so, anyway. She was sick of this. Sick of being sick. “Littlesplash is doing a great job overall. I wish I could’ve been more help than hindrance towards him during the transition and everything, but…” Wrenpaw trailed off, then offered a shrug of her shoulders and a shake of her head.

She lifted her head and looked back up at the sky, soaking in more of the sun as she walked along, pressed close to her sister’s side. “Enough about me,” She said with a smile, turning her head towards Willowwisp. “I want to hear about you.” She bumped her head into Willowwisp’s shoulder. “We’ve barely gotten to just chat. You know what I’ve been doing,” She laughed. “So tell me everything I’ve missed, yeah? How are you doing?”

Willowwisp

Willowwisp’s ear flicked and she felt an instinctive urge to argue with Wrenpaw. She settled for murmuring, “You were never a hindrance,” before the conversation moved on. Her head lifted and she said, “I have been alright. I was sick as well during the trip to the lake, but I got better a little before we returned…Since then.” Willowwisp paused and considered. She hummed and lifted her head higher to look up at the sky. “I have been worried about Mother. She has been doing worse—far worse—since the battle with SkyClan. I understand why. But I do not know how to help her. I was able to help Rookflight and Sunpool when they were struggling, but I don’t know what to do for Mother.”

RiverClan • T4 Warrior • She/Her • 60 | 140 • #6abcde

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Wrenpaw appreciated Willowwisp’s quiet murmur in her defense, even if she couldn’t agree with her. She was aching to hear about Willowwisp’s own sickness. She knew, faintly, that it had happened, but everything that happened on that trip from the moment she herself fell ill became one big blur so quickly it was hard to parse details, to remember what actually occurred instead of just drifting into her mind in a fever-induced haze.

And then there was Perchstar. Wrenpaw let out a long, heavy sigh. She shared her sister’s concerns. She looked up at the sky. “I know what you mean.” She said softly. “I’m worried about her too. Sandyshell taught me how to treat so many things, but mental strain like that…” She trailed off and sighed. “I can’t blame mama for doing poorly. She’s got so much riding on her, the level of that responsibility, the weight her choices carry… that’d have an effect on anyone, you know? And mother’s incredibly strong, but so much happened so quickly, so much loss and pain…”

Wrenpaw breathed out. Once again, she wished desperately she had been helpful, a pillar of support for her mother instead of yet another source of worry and stress. Guilt churned in her stomach, but it wasn’t helpful, it wouldn’t do anything to help her sister or her mother or her clan, so she squashed it as best as she could. “I don’t know what we can do besides be there for her,” She said quietly. “Grief like that, I think the only real cure is time and love. I don’t know if there’s much else we can do except give her that love, and try to do everything we can to help her keep the clan okay, you know what I mean?” She looked over at Willowwisp. “It doesn’t feel like enough. It never does.”

RiverClan • T5 Warrior • She/Her • #6abcde

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