Love’ll Get You Slaughtered (c)

Cricketpaw set her strange mismatched gaze on Mallowpaw across camp. The stillness of the dusk threw deep shadows from the trees, striping the clearing in bits of silvered moonlight and darkness. The fluffy apprentice came from them like a wraith, a flash of loathing in her eyes before her stance settled into something softer, demure. “Mallowpaw.” She called softly, her voice the same quiet music of leaves rustling in the darkness. She sat down beside him, flicking her fluffy tail against his shoulder in greeting.

“I’m sorry to bother you, but uh, there is something I need to talk to you about.” She looked away for a moment, as if embarrassed to be caught in the path of his bright blue gaze. The tabby and white she-cat looked back up at him, her strange mis-matched eyes soft and doe-like in the subtle shine of the moon. She felt repulsion curl, rancid and sharp in her gut. His pale throat was all on display, supple and vulnerable. This close it would only take a snap of her teeth to spill his vibrant blood against the pure white of the snow. But she wouldn’t let him dirty something beautiful again, he had tainted enough in his short life already.

Yewpaw didn’t deserve more tragedy either. But Mallowpaw didn’t deserve Yewpaw. Her brother’s affection was hers, and she could not bear it to be split with a stranger. “It’s important.” The molly said softly, a whisper breath of hesitation amplifying the worried set of her shoulders, and slight uneasy twitch of her ear.

The tabby and white she-cat wrapped her fluffy tail over her paws, keeping out the evening chill. “I’m alright, you’re sweet to ask.” She said, her usual quiet cadence betraying nothing. She glanced around, her eyes sweeping the clearing. “Camp’s fairly empty, we’ll be fine to talk here. It’s about my brother.” She looked up at Mallowpaw, a soft self-conscious laugh falling into the space between them. Be gentle. Nothing fast, nothing sharp. “Well, it’s a little awkward to talk about, and I don't want to make you uncomfortable.” Her voice eased into the expectant silence.

“I know you and Yewpaw are good friends. I’m glad you get along so well, it’s been hard for all of us since Paledove died.” Good friends she wanted to spit the words like blood from her mouth, but she let them slip out like the gentle brush of a creek against its bank instead. “It’s just, you’re really affectionate, and that's good!” She hurried to fill the space, like she was worried he may take it the wrong way. There was her perfect mask, timid, anxious, a well-meaning if clumsy delivery. It softened every hard, suspicious line of her body, she was just a young molly in the moonlight, pelt fluffed up against the chill, trying to do right by her brother. And the last part was the truth at least. Mallowpaw would only bring a rift into her carefully guarded family. It had always been them and Mother against the world. There was no room for anyone else. Kin were safe. Mallowpaw was not kin, he would never be kin, and eventually he would mess up, or leave, or die, or say the wrong thing or make the wrong choice, and Yewpaw would suffer for it. It was better to cut off the infection now, before it spread.

“But, it makes Yewpaw a little uncomfortable. You’re…clingy.” She offered up a small apologetic smile. “I don’t mean to sound harsh, but it’s the truth. Yewpaw doesn’t want to bring it up, and it’ll just embarrass him if he knows you had to learn it from me. So maybe give him a little space? I don’t want something like a miscommunication to ruin your friendship.”

She kept everything hidden behind the soft planes of her face, soft features shadowed and silver in the moonlight. Satisfaction was dripping over her ribs, even as her ears flicked back in timid concern. Mallowpaw was shaking and the clear rage on his face made her feel powerful. She wanted him to hurt after all. He deserved every ounce of grief he got, the world hadn’t spared her or her littermates, why should it spare the tom in front of her?The useless, selfish creature that was ripping into her brother with his greedy teeth, taking bite after bite out of her family. They were perfect before he showed up, making Myrtlepaw feel bad for snapping at him after he offended her, trying to wiggle into Honeypaw and Yewpaw’s good graces despite the fact that he made everyone around him miserable.

There was only rage rolling in her gut. She wanted to growl, to shove his face into the dirt and scream at him to get her name out of his mouth. It sounded wrong, caught up between his teeth. When he leaned closer she slicked her ears back and leaned away, like she was afraid of a strike. Let him think he has the upper hand, and make him hate it. Mallowpaw, despite his posturing, was soft-bellied and weak. He wouldn’t dare to lay a claw against her. She almost hoped she was wrong. Give her a scar to prove that she was right about everything, let it remind him how close he was to ruining everything for everyone. So she flinched back, looking up at the tom shakily. She huffed a quiet sigh into the night, like she was grounding herself, gathering up her tentative courage.  

“I-i didn’t mean to upset you.” She said so quietly it would be lost if the camp wasn’t stilled and silent with the heavy curtain sleep. She sounded afraid.   “I know my brother isn’t a coward, and you know it too. But you also know how kind he is. He has dealt with a lot of grief in his life, we all have, and that makes even the bravest of us terrified of losing who we care about most. He isn’t ready to be close again like that. He won’t tell you that, because admitting it is like admitting he isn’t over Mother, that he isn’t as strong as he wants to be.” She turned away from the tom, letting all his quiet anger roll off her, she blinked away summoned tears, shutting her eyes tight against a wave of grief she didn’t really feel anymore. Mother was dead. Nothing would bring her back. All she could do now was protect what she had left.  

“And I didn’t want to tell you that either, but it’s important. More important than anything. I don’t want to go behind Yewpaw’s back like this, but I couldn’t stand there and watch him hurt either.”  Her voice dropped to a tearful whisper.  “He cares about you, against all odds, and I don’t want you to keep hurting him more than he already is. So just consider taking a step back at least, give him some time.” Her gaze met his, unshed tears shining like stars in the depths of her eyes.  “Before everything falls apart.”