The future's in your paws. Shape it well.Roleplay in a cat Clan of warriors. Based off the Warriors series by Erin Hunter. Takes place in an AU before the cats in the books existed.
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Characters : Falconmoon, Sagefeather, Asmodeus, Snowhunter Number of posts : 3142 Gender : Female; She/Her Age : 33
Subject: Just the Beast Under Your Bed [Wolf/Bird] Tue 14 Nov 2023 - 18:49
OOC: Takes place after the gathering.
IC:
Leaving the forest... how ironic. Necessary, though. Falconmoon had been tempted a few times to leave it himself once upon a time, believing it to be a toxic place as most of Skyclan had. Of course, his actions with the Asylum and the Dark Forest hadn't helped matters. What should have been laid to rest never to return to the forefront of anyone's mind again was threatening to break free once more, like so many of the Dark Forest cats that he'd lead into the forest moons ago. Falconmoon looked too much like Dawnhawk and shared exactly the same voice... of course it was because he was the same cat, the same soul placed into a new, younger body. Maybe it was Starclan's intention to have him back with Skyclan, or the clans in general. He had knowledge that was vast about the outside world thanks to his time with the Asylum, as well as his own personal experiences as a disgraced and exiled fugitive. Maybe Starclan never had mercy on him at all, but intended to use him as a shepherd for the clans and lead them into a new and terrifying world...
Ha! Idiots. He thought to himself, as he only had the intention of helping Skyclan and to The Dark Forest with the rest of them. He had many reasons for doing what he was about to do. He only hoped that the current Skyclan leadership would see sense and maybe not banish him this time, given what he had to offer. Try as he might, as he approached the warrior's den and the familiar scent of Wolfblossom hit his nose, his warm memories of being Falconmoon... just Falconmoon... his heart lurched with a confusing mix of guilt, love... and anger. Anger at himself for being who he was and hiding it from her for so long. It was almost enough to give him pause and stop him in his tracks, to rethink his decision. With a deep breath, Falconmoon forced himself forward and stuck his head inside.
"Mom... before you get too comfortable, I'd like to talk to you and Birdstar together, if thats alright." He was sure she heard him, and he stepped back to wait for her. Once she would appear, even if she inevitably asked a question, Falconmoon would only nod toward the leader's den, indicating that this was a private matter that wasn't anyone else's business. Nevermind that it probably (most definitely) was. He padded over to the leader's den and took another deep breath. His heart began to hammer in his chest as the freezing cold air o leaf-fall left his lungs. Once he did this, he knew there was no going back.
This is dumb... You're just hungry... this is stupid! Stop! A voice that was his own and yet not his own urged him to abort the mission, but he forged ahead with an almost grim determination. He poked his head into Birdstar's den, and while his heart beat wildly and his paws nearly shook... he opened his mouth an let the words roll off of his tongue.
"Birdstar... there is something of importance I would like to speak to you and the deputy about. I know we have to leave soon... but this... this can't wait."
As the last of his sentence was spoken, Falconmoon could have swore he felt his heart come to a sudden halt. It had been like an execution drum, rolling to the rhythm of his last breaths... only to stop as the axe came down and severed his head. There was no going back now. What was done was done, and what would be is what would be.
Subject: Re: Just the Beast Under Your Bed [Wolf/Bird] Tue 14 Nov 2023 - 19:39
It had been another unsuccessful day of hunting, and Wolfblossom was half tempted to ask Birdstar if they should leave the forest even earlier than planned, to cut their losses with this barren territory so incapable of sustaining the large clan. Now that a decision had been made, it seemed to Wolfblossom that they could not leave soon enough, despite her more... sentimental attachment to Skyclan's ancestral home.
Falconmoon's voice pulled her from her thoughts, and the deputy was on her paws so quickly her vision darkened and spun. "Sure... A moment." That... Was not good, she decided. The dizziness, not her son calling for her. Falconmoon had been awfully distant lately, since after the fox attack and Bloodstrike's death. So had Beechfang. Her mother, her son... And the clan had been faring so poorly lately that even Wolfblossom found herself struggling to keep up with her own warriors. With a shake of her head, the deputy padded from the den, padding toward Falconmoon.
"What's wrong?" She asked, briefly pressing her shoulder against his. Falconmoon simply nodded to Birdstar's den, and Wolfblossom followed. His demeanor worried her, as it always had, but even if it hadn't, Wolfblossom would have followed. Ducking into Birdstar's den, she offered her sister a tired nod of greeting and sat, glancing from Birdstar to Falconmoon with worry in her eyes.
If the reason for this was that one of the other clans were stealing prey, or another rogue kit had been found hunting on their territory, Wolfblossom thought she might rip someone to shreds. Somehow, Wolfblossom didn't think she would be that unlucky today. Falconmoon appeared unhurt; that was a good thing. Not enough to discourage her anxiety, but whatever her son was going to share couldn't make things worse... She hoped.
Characters : [R]owansong [Ro]okflight [S]ilverhawk [P]igeonpouce [F]ishpaw [Fa]lconpaw [Fo]xsnap Clan/Rank : [R] RiverClan T5 Elder [Ro] RiverClan T4 Warrior [S] ShadowClan T5 Warrior [P] RiverClan Hybrid Medicine Cat [F] ShadowClan Apprentice [Fa] WindClan Apprentice [Fo] SkyClan T2 Warrior Number of posts : 2887 Gender : any or username Age : 22
Subject: Re: Just the Beast Under Your Bed [Wolf/Bird] Sun 19 Nov 2023 - 10:00
Birdstar
The Gathering and all its excitement still felt roaring in Birdstar's mind, even with Fourtrees left far behind and nothing but the quiet dark of her den surrounding her. To leave the territories... she knew there had been times in the forest's history when the Clans--SkyClan, in particular--had to leave their homes, their singular territories. Many of them had been forced from their camps just last leaf-bare, fleeing the trembling earth and the twolegs that came with it. But for all of them, all five Clans and every cat that made them, to abandon the forest in it's entirety... A small shiver went through her, the fur along Birdstar's spine rippling to bristle as it passed. It was a sensible plan, and perhaps the only one that ended with them seeing new-leaf. But it was to leave generations of life, history, and tradition; to leave the graves of her loved ones, risk creating new graves in a faraway land where StarClan may not find them and they would never be mourned properly, routinely...
It meant figuring how she would shelter Beechfang from Perchstar, and vice versa. Beechfang would come with them, unless she planted her own paws and dug herself below earth. Birdstar shook her head and dropped her tired body into the dusty bedding of her nest. It was selfish--she was selfish. But she wasn't letting go again, not when so little of her immediate family was left.
Approaching pawsteps brought her from her thoughts, and Birdstar looked up to greet them. Blinking twice in surprise, she tilted her head at Falconmoon's appearance; further, at his urgent request. The air was already cold, but whatever warmth might have been left in her den was sucked out with his request. She held his eyes for a long moment, head spinning with worry and wonder, before nodding. "Of course," she said softly, pushing herself to sit upright. Falconmoon... he'd been a point of worry for seasons. His recent distance was no comfort, and the appearance of his mother not far behind him even less so. Birdstar returned the nod, worry in her eyes, before focusing her attention on Falconmoon. There was enough for them to worry about... and the gnaw in her stomach gave the idea there would be a new stressor in mind soon. She curled her tail around her paws and, with a nod, mewed, "Whenever you're ready, Falconmoon. Tell us what's on your mind."
Characters : Falconmoon, Sagefeather, Asmodeus, Snowhunter Number of posts : 3142 Gender : Female; She/Her Age : 33
Subject: Re: Just the Beast Under Your Bed [Wolf/Bird] Sun 19 Nov 2023 - 11:21
This is a mistake. This is stupid. You're going to die. Do you want to be alone? You have no friends, no family. You are alone. Honesty is for fools. A constant stream of nearly crippling self doubt hit Falconmoon wave after wave. His fur bristled out of fear, but he took in one slow, deep, shaky breath. He had to do this. If he was going to make a step toward change, this was the first step. You have done this twice before. They betrayed you. No one cares. You will lose everything. You mouse-brained fool. Who could ever truly love you, of all cats? You are not even worthy of love after all you've done. He almost couldn't speak. Falconmoon's heart went back to racing, only this time, more wildly than before. He felt like he had a rabbit in his chest panicking and trying to break free.
Wolfblossom entered. Falconmoon turned to look at her, locked eyes with her, his mother... He drew upon her concerned gaze and used it to fuel his strength and his determination. He swallowed hard, as if swallowing would make the frantic rabbit in his chest cease all movement and stop rattling his bones. I am not alone. I am loved... and you will be quiet! He reprimanded his inner fears. With another deep breath, he looked at Birdstar. Tonight he took the plunge. Whatever would be, would be.
"I'm sorry for being so withdrawn lately. I needed time to understand what was happening to me. Now that I do, I need to share it with both of you. This... this isn't easy for me." He felt like he was falling into that icy river all over again. There was no Ashstorm to throw him into it, just a younger, striped version of himself. There was no foolish Ivystar to save him from drowning and freezing this time either.
Just Birdstar... if she so desired to save him. Or maybe she'd let him drown... or maybe she would execute his sorry hide for thinking he could make a difference with honesty again. Twice it had failed him. Why would this time be any different?
"My dreams weren't dreams. They were memories. The memories of a monster that ravaged Skyclan and the entire forest with his wrath and tyranny. I'm... I am Dawnhawk." He wanted to stop talking, to give pause, but he spoke faster and forged ahead anyway.
"But I'm not as angry as I was before! Starclan gave me a second chance for a reason... I'd like to believe that reason is because they could see the potential in me to be... maybe not just good... but maybe a good warrior to Skyclan, given the right circumstances."
He looked at Wolfblossom, searching her eyes for any sign of emotion. Hurt? Betrayal? Anger? Anything. "I'm not delusional. I am still Falconmoon. I am still your son... but I bring with me a knowledge beyond any typical clan cat that could help us when we journey away from the forest. I know things about the world beyond the forest from my time in the Asylum, as well as my time as a rogue and yes, a Dark Forest cat." His eyes then moved back to Birdstar. He struggled to sound strong and confident, knowing that if she so desired, she could have his throat right this instant.
"I also want you to know everything that comes with this knowledge, as there is a drawback as well. Dawnhawk's memories remain with me, as do his feelings of fury toward certain clan cats that are still alive. I also still love his... my kits... They are in Thunderclan still. I don't imagine they could ever love their father back, but my heart aches for them all the same.
That said, I have no desire to betray Skyclan, not even for the satisfaction of vengeance nor for the love I hold for my Thunderclan family. I only tell you this so that you know you can trust me. I also know that if the other clans find out who I am... I know what it would mean for Skyclan and the pressure it would put you under, Birdstar. I am only telling you and my mom this. No one will know but you two and Beechfang, who already figured it out. ... Maybe Spottedfrog knows too. It seemed like she did when Bloodstrike died, but maybe she could still be convinced she was imagining things, I don't know."
Well now he was rambling, he supposed. His fear had mostly dissipated with every word he spoke, but now it was replaced with anxiety and anticipation as to what the leadership of Skyclan would say to him. Would Birdstar want to tell the whole clan, or keep it a secret from them? He waited, uncertain, but willing to answer whatever questions she might have.
Subject: Re: Just the Beast Under Your Bed [Wolf/Bird] Mon 20 Nov 2023 - 16:33
Falconmoon's sense of urgency did not keep them waiting long. The deputy sat, tail twitching with anxiety as her son began to speak. His dreams, she thought, of course it would be that causing his recent distance from them. Except they weren't dreams, apparently, but memories.
Bloodstrike was right, or so Falconmoon's words suggested. Even so, hearing it from him made her tail lash once in indignation and anger. Not at the reveal, no, but on her son's behalf.
"You are my son, Falconmoon." The deputy began after a moment, "And you are innocent, regardless of these dreams being memories or not. You aren't that cat. Not anymore... You never have been, Falconmoon. You are you." She corrected herself.
He continued, and she was almost tempted to tell him to stop talking. Dawnhawk's kits... In Thunderclan. His kits. Did that technically make her their-- no, nevermind. She had known that she had family in Thunderclan, of course - Dovefrost must have had kin, and she had known at least one cousin was there. But... No, this was... it was...
She felt faint. Stars, why couldn't things be simple?
Falconmoon continued, and the deputy let out a breath. Dawnhawk, she knew, was just about universally hated. If the other clans found out and took it badly... "The other clans can eat dirt if they think they have any say, if they find out about you being more than just my son." She finally growled, "We have one cat in our ranks who some would say shouldn't be. Their opinions are worth nothing, and you will stay within Skyclan's ranks. No arguments." Not from Falconmoon out of some misguided attempt to protect them, and not from Birdstar. And if anyone else wanted to try... They might be welcome to.
Characters : [R]owansong [Ro]okflight [S]ilverhawk [P]igeonpouce [F]ishpaw [Fa]lconpaw [Fo]xsnap Clan/Rank : [R] RiverClan T5 Elder [Ro] RiverClan T4 Warrior [S] ShadowClan T5 Warrior [P] RiverClan Hybrid Medicine Cat [F] ShadowClan Apprentice [Fa] WindClan Apprentice [Fo] SkyClan T2 Warrior Number of posts : 2887 Gender : any or username Age : 22
Subject: Re: Just the Beast Under Your Bed [Wolf/Bird] Sat 25 Nov 2023 - 18:26
Birdstar
The corner of Birdstar's mouth twitched at Falconmoon's apology, threatening a concerned frown, but she left concern to show in her eyes and kept her expression passive. She wanted to assure him again he was free to share whatever troubled him, that there was no rush however urgent he felt, but Falconmoon did not delay much longer. Immediately, her held breath rush out through her nose. Memories. Words she'd turned over in her head for moons, thoughts kept close to chew on late at night when there wasn't time to spare for them during the day; countless attempts at dismissing them as deluded while dreading a confirmation that felt inevitable. It lingered in her conscience like the miasmatic air of a medicine den with the scent of its herbs drowned by that of deathly Greencough.
I am Dawnhawk. Wolfblossom spoke in quick defense between his words. Birdstar followed Falconmoon's sliding attention to fall on her sister. She studied the hard expression on Wolfblossom's face for a moment two heartbeats too long before looking to her paws. The surety in Wolfblossom's voice was-- ...no, it wasn't that which had her whiskers trembling with surprise. It was the shade of mistrust just beginning in her own faltering heart that gave her pause. The recency another cat--another family member--had been executed for similarities to Dawnhawk was too near. Though that had come with murder and a giddy expectancy to meet death for it... a confession of reincarnation, fury and love dragged from its shallow grave, hung with the same weight.
But Falconmoon was her nephew. Wolfblossom's son. That malice hadn't been apparent in him since birth, unlike his other aunt. He was hard-working, devoted, brave and kind and good. Even when he knew, especially harboring the knowledge secretly. He was, right now, good enough to stand in front of both leader and mother and confess the sin imposed upon him. If he carried all the knowledge and experience of this claimed life--if he'd learned anything simply from the moons he lived as Falconmoon--he knew the danger he put himself in.
Birdstar closed her eyes and exhaled again. She couldn't imagine forsaking him. That shadow of doubt still threatened, just enough to be felt, but she pushed it down. She couldn't afford the tax of thinking about what it meant. Wolfblossom spoke again with even fiercer finality and conviction, leaving no room to argue even if Birdstar had resigned herself to jurying Falconmoon's life. Her ear flicked and she picked her head back up, taking Wolfblossom in one more time before finally turning her attention back on Falconmoon. "She's right," Birdstar agreed slowly. "Whether Dawnhawk is you, is living on as part of you... or however it is that it works, you're Falconmoon as well." Having to swallow again reawakened her awareness of the scraping dryness. Birdstar's nose wrinkled with brief discomfort before continuing. "No one will know that doesn't already. As far as the rest of the Clan and the rest of the forest is concerned, Dawnhawk has been dead since long before any of us were born. Provided nothing happens... they'll never need to be wiser."
And then, in the event something were to happen... The look Birdstar leveled on her nephew lacked any betraying emotion, but it wasn't empty; simply the stony expression saved for matters great as this. For making a symbol of her leadership, separating it from herself. Even her voice, when it rose to spoke again, reflected that distance with measured deadpan. "You're a warrior of SkyClan, the same as you... Falconmoon has been. The same as you will be. I've never, until this moment, had a good reason to truly doubt you. I accept your truth and your promise to live well. However," she focused intently on Falconmoon, unable to face Wolfblossom's eye even peripherally, "if you break this trust in any capacity, you will face whatever consequences you've bestowed on yourself." The implicit threat he would not be allowed to continue as Dawnhawk had should he fall again from grace undertoned her words. She did not need to speak an execution into existence before it came.
"In exchange for your honesty, I'll tell you this: I'm wary, of this. Whatever I may have suspected... hearing you say yourself that you're Dawnhawk reborn unsettles me... but I imagine you expect worse than that." Birdstar's mew softened, as did her gaze, and she bowed her head in a show of genuine respect and affection. "Falconmoon: I will not be the first to betray you. I love you. You're family, and I am your leader. Your safety is my responsibility. So long as you do not oust yourself, your place is here, in SkyClan's ranks. No one but us can declare otherwise."
Characters : Falconmoon, Sagefeather, Asmodeus, Snowhunter Number of posts : 3142 Gender : Female; She/Her Age : 33
Subject: Re: Just the Beast Under Your Bed [Wolf/Bird] Wed 29 Nov 2023 - 22:18
Wolfblossom's immediate defense came as no surprise to Falconmoon. She was the mother he both always had... and should have had always. Preventing himself from letting any memory dwell on Smokefeather, he kept his attention to the situation unfolding before him. He looked again at Birdstar, still nervous about what she would say. For a long moment, he didn't know that she would say anything. Would it be wise to make a decision right now? Falconmoon didn't think so. This was a delicate situation and a dangerous one. He nearly volunteered to allow her some time to speak to Wolfblossom alone when suddenly...
"She's right,"
Falconmoon blinked, his heart lurching forward as his hopes leaped as high as the tallest trees. He let out a breath, suddenly realizing that he'd been holding it at all. He stared, stunned into silence, and drank in the rest of everything Birdstar had to say. The only condition was to keep his silence and to promise to be better. The latter he could do... but his guilt had already driven him mad enough to speak the truth, despite the experiences of his past life urging him to do otherwise. Where relief had been only a moment ago from the fear of rejection and execution, there was a new wave of uncertainty. He could keep this secret easily from most of the clan, but what of a mate, should he ever have another one? Was he expected to lie to her for their entire lives? Was he expected to lie to his kits that still lived?
Sure, most of his kits despised him, but what would they think of him now? The more he thought about it, and his mind was racing at this point, was that it was best to not interact with them much if at all to avoid the temptation to announce his identity. In a very strange way, the thought pained him. Strange because they both were and were not his actual children.
He pushed those thoughts aside for now, as there wasn't anything he could do about them for the time being. He simply wanted to focus on this small victory today. He would remain a Skyclan cat despite the leadership's knowledge of who he was. That had to be at least a good start... and he didn't intend to see it crumble into nothing. He had a chance now... a real chance.
"I'll be better this time around, Birdstar. I promise to uphold the warrior code, to protect and defend my Clan, even at the cost of my life." He reuttered the words, a second affirmation of his duties and willingness to perform them faithfully. This time, he had done it as Dawnhawk. In that moment, a sense of weightlessness overcame him. His head felt fuzzy, but in a warm, pleasant way. He inhaled deeply, letting the chilled air fill his lungs as if it was his first breath. When he exhaled, a feeling of stability and belonging forced the insecurity, fear and anger to vacate the dark corners of his mind. He felt strange, but not in a way that doom and gloom hanging above his head might. This was different.
This was who Dawnhawk could have been... should have been.
The darkness will not win this time. He vowed, both as Falconmoon and Dawnhawk. He almost felt like he should sit high in a tree in a silent vigil and wait for the sun to hit his pelt. He would refrain of course, as he knew he should get rest for the journey ahead.
"Thank you for understanding. I would have left if you had asked." There wasn't much more that he felt he could say. His mouth opened as if he was going to, thought better of it, then simply closed his lips and lowered his gaze from Birdstar's. grateful.
