Duskpaw's Moonstone Journey

"Duskpaw, follow me."

Smallstar's words were even when he padded up to Duskpaw. The tom wasn't exactly excited to make another journey to the moonstone, especially given the clan's situation with prey - not even mentioning the twolegs. Even now, when he was well rested, the dull pangs of hunger caused a weakness in his limbs.

Wordlessly, he led Duskpaw to the medicine den. Recently, the leader had been spending more time here than he'd like to admit. He'd re-arranged the herbs so that he knew where they all were, returning them to the place he'd kept them during his time here. Reaching for the bundles he'd wrapped earlier that morning, he passed one to the apprentice. "These are, uh. Traveling herbs. You probably already knew that though." It was surprising how easily it had all come back to him, he supposed that travelling herbs were among the most common wraps he'd had to compile when he was medicine cat. "Now, eat up. We need to leave soon."

The leader swallowed his herbs with ease, although his tolerance to their bitter flavor had faded over the many moons. He squeezed his eyes shut, although he would be looking forward to the herb's effects. He would relish the energy that would soon be flowing through him, a welcome contrast to the season's enervation.

"When you're ready, we can leave."

Duskpaw was sick. She knew she was sick, her cough had come back, but she’d downplayed it. With everyone starving, they were all weak. “Okay,” she mewed softly.

She ate the herbs without complaint, mostly just glad to eat something. Besides, the flavor wasn’t the most awful thing imaginable, just not overly tasty. “I’m ready,” she murmured, standing up. Tonight, hopefully, she would take her final step towards warriorhood.

Smallstar squinted at the apprentice as she ate her herbs, watching her closely. Despite out of practice, his nose was still sensitive to the scent of illness, although he wasn't aware of it. It was a bitter, stuffy smell that wafted from her, but faint enough that it made Smallstar doubt. Because she didn't display any other symptoms, he figured he could go on with the journey. "Alright, then.  If you're uh... ready, let's go." Padding past the apprentice, he looked over his shoulder. "If you have any questions, now is the time to ask." When he was certain the apprentice was following, he led her through the camp entrance, lifting his head to the chilling winds once they hit him. Their bitterness reminded him of the dream he'd had just a few nights before. He shuddered.

However, he couldn't be completely carefree. The breeze carried the scent of Twoleg, although faint was fresh enough to spark anxiety within the leader. "We're, uh, gonna go another way today, okay?" He asked, although regardless of how the apprentice would answer, they would be going the longer way.

Splitting off onto a smaller trail, the leader took Duskpaw across the territory, prepared to travel the outskirts rather than journey straight through. For a while, he remained silent, watching, listening. It felt, to him, as if the moors were holding their breath, so he did the same. It was only when they'd reached a thin treeline, Smallstar felt safe enough to breathe. "So, Duskpaw." He fixed her with the same uncertain look. "Did you have any questions? I uh, used to be a medicine cat, so I might know the answer. If you have any."

Duskpaw’s chest twitched, but she paid it no mind. She had more important things to do tonight than be sick. She followed him quietly, meeting his eyes when he looked back. The wind seemed to blow right through her, but she paid it no mind.

The smell of Twoleg burned her nostrils and she didn’t hesitate to follow Smallstar down a different path. “Yech,” she spat, making her distaste for Twolegs known.

The walk continued in dignified silence. Her breathing was shallow but steady as she walked. She met his eyes again, the uncertainty in both cats palpable. “I feel like we’re all blind,” she mused. “None of us are on the path we expected to take. How did you manage, losing what you’d worked for because life had a different plan?”

"I, uh. Didn't really get a choice." The resurfacing of his memories made his paranoia spike, he raised his head and looked around for Twolegs again. "I was taken by Twolegs when i was a medicine cat, I was made a Kittypet for a long, long time." Smallstar wanted to mention Rookfire, but it could easily be assumed that Duskpaw would have no idea who the other tom was. "I had to journey for days to get back here after escaping, but I made it back, eventually. There was a new medicine cat, and I had been away from Starclan for so long. I restarted as a warrior, Shrikestar made me deputy, and uh. Here I am now." The story wasn't one to be marveled at, he thought. It brought a melancholic feeling, it set in and slowed his movements. "You might not feel like it, but you manage. You keep walking, you keep going. Even if... Even if everything feels like it's wrong." If anything, it felt as if his time as medicine cat was the wrong part.

An acrid stench reached Smallstar's nose, one that he, despite being used to, never quite seemed prepared for the smell of. Taking the lead, he led Duskpaw toward the Thunderpath, flinching slightly whenever a monster roared past. "Alright, Duskpaw. Stay close." He muttered over his shoulder once the monsters had all passed.

He led her through a tunnel that dug under the Thunderpath, picking up the pace. The leader was used to cramped spaces, but the way dust fell from the ceiling when monsters roared above made him uneasy. Upon reaching the other side, he turned and waited for Duskpaw to follow before taking the lead once more. "Y'see that? It's Highstones, we aren't far." He gestured vaguely into the distance, although there wasn't much to look at besides the mountain before them. "It'll be steeper from here, but the herbs should, uh, help you out some."

Duskpaw nodded, following Smallstar as she considered his words. After a bit of silence, she spoke. “Well I for one think you’re doing really well as leader. And I met this one cat at a gathering who said she’d been your apprentice and even she seemed to remember you fondly.”

Smallstar relaxed his posture as Duskpaw spoke, but raised his ears at the mention of a former apprentice. "Used to be..." It had been quite some time, but Smallstar still recalled exactly who that cat was. Duskpaw's words caused conflicting emotions to rise in his chest - ones of pride and relief, but also of regret. Blazefang's actions made him feel as if he could have done more, that he could have done better - but he supposed there was very little he could do about it now. The leader would be silent as he lead Duskpaw up to Mothermouth, but his mind dwelled on the memories she had caused to resurface.

It was only when they'd actually reached the cave that he cleared his throat and spoke again. "Through here is, uh, where we'll find the moonstone. You touch your nose to it, fall asleep... y'know." It felt redundant to explain this when she likely already knew the process. "Stay close behind me as I lead you through the tunnel. It's dark and narrow, be careful." And so, he ducked through the tunnel's mouth, leading the apprentice down the winding path, unknowingly holding his breath until the tunnel widened into a cavern. He pressed against the cavern wall, nodding in silence to Duskpaw, indicating approval.

Duskpaw fell back into a comfortable silence as the distance between her and the Moonstone steadily narrowed. She nodded at Smallstar’s instruction, a tiredness dragging at her that she tried to fight off. Whiskers brushing his tail, she followed him into the cavern, her slight frame slipping easily through the tunnels. At his final nod, she padded over to the Moonstone, touched her nose to it, and fell asleep.

Duskpaw awoke in a starry field, the stars seeming to cling to her as well as everything around her. The weight she’d always carried in her chest had lightened, and for the first time in her like she felt no trace of the weakness that haunted her. She sat down respectfully, tail wrapped around her paws.

In the waking world, her body couldn’t resist the deep sleep it felt. It needed to rest, whatever that meant. And so, as she lay beside the moonstone, Duskpaw’s breathing grew slower. Her flank rose and fell for a final time.

Duskpaw is dead.

"Welcome to Starclan, Duskpaw." Far from her usual cheer, Swiftspirit's voice was one filled with sorrow as she stepped forward to greet the apprentice, starlight shimmering through her pale fur. She had watched as twolegs prowled the territory once more, she had watched as Windclan starved. Watched her former clanmates grow tired and thin and sick. Tonight, that stress had taken a life. Tonight, Windclan would have one less mouth to feed and another cat to mourn. One more apprentice taken before her time.

"The forest has seen better days, hasn't it?" She mewed, "My name is Swiftspirit. I was a Windclan warrior in the not-so-distant past." To her, anyways, the living tended to think of cats only a generation older as being ancient... And perhaps, with how many cats died heartbreakingly young, they were not entirely wrong.

"Come," The starry warrior mewed, "Walk with me?"

Duskpaw nodded respectfully, lowering her eyes. “Thank you,” she mewed softly. As she got to her feet, the lightness of her own paws surprised her. She didn’t know yet why. She was simply visiting.

“Not so distant,” Duskpaw echoed. “Did you know Blazefang, then? I’m trying to piece together WindClan’s history. Though that might take a lifetime, heh.” At Swiftspirit’s invitation, she cocked her head. “I thought I was supposed to just speak to you and leave. Of course I’d love to walk with you, ma’am, but I think I should be waking up soon.”

"Blazefang... I believe I did, yes. She was an apprentice alongside my daughter Brackenwing." Both mentored by Smallbean, both had left WindClan behind. Given Swiftspirit's own origins, she wasn't overly upset by her daughter leaving the clan, and given her own code-breaking relationship had ended in much less favorable terms, she was happy for Blazefang to have found her own peace, though she hadn't known her well in life.

Duskpaw's next words made her heart wrench. The apprentice did not realize what had happened yet. "You'll have an eternity to piece together Windclan's history. And the rest of the forest, if you wish." Swiftspirit mewed softly, "Look at your paws. Tell me what you see." Starlight, she would see shimmering starlight. Duskpaw would not be waking up to rejoin Smallbean and head home.

"I'm sorry Duskpaw, truly." The line between sleep and death was an easy one to cross in times like these, and not one that she could control.

So Swiftspirit was Brackenwing’s mother! Duskpaw could see the resemblance between the StarClan cat and the elder she’d grown up around.

She paused at the older cat’s next words. No. No, that couldn’t be right. The lightness in her chest, the starlight clinging to her pelt, the feeling of health like she’d never known, it all turned bitter in an instant. This had to be some kind of cruel joke. She stared at her paws, not daring to speak.

Finally, after a few minutes, she took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I’m ready,” she mewed.

The reaction to the news was more internalized, but one that Swiftspirit found herself sympathizing with. Duskpaw had thought she would return to camp, one step closer to becoming a warrior. Instead, that peaceful sleep beside the moonstone would be her last. It was a painful thing to see lives cut so short, it always would be.

"It's a lot, isn't it?" Swiftsprit mewed, gently touching her tail to the apprentice's shoulder, "They will be okay. Windclan always finds a way to survive." She said softly.