The future's in your paws. Shape it well.Roleplay in a cat Clan of warriors. Based off the Warriors series by Erin Hunter. Takes place in an AU before the cats in the books existed.
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Leaf-fall is finally here, and with it, the promise of colder, crueler, days ahead.
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Characters : [P]oppyshine; [Pi]neblossom; [L]arkspring; [Wi]llowwisp; [R]ashoumon; [B]lazekit Clan/Rank : RC T5 Deputy; SC T5; RC T5; RC T5; Rogue T1; WC App Number of posts : 3162 Gender : Any Pronouns Age : 26
Subject: but i am so afraid [c] Thu 14 Sep 2023 - 17:46
Pineblossom
Pineblossom’s thoughts have been racing ever since yesterday when she spoke with Heatherberry. She was not sure who to talk to about it. Forestbreeze would make the most sense, but he’s been sick again lately, and she did not want to burden him with more things on his mind. Honeylight was no longer here and she would not bring this up with Silverpaw, not yet. No, there was only one other cat that she wanted to speak with about this, even if things have been…tense to say the least.
She approached Nightstalker before he could head off to the den after his patrol. She meowed, “Nightstalker, I need to speak with you.” Her voice drew a little quieter. “Privately. It’s important. Please.” He could still be angry with her all he’d like, but he was still an important cat to her, and she needed to speak with him.
Characters : Nightstalker - Rom wuz here <3 Clan/Rank : Shadowclan Warrior Number of posts : 1155 Gender : Unspecified | kitty says hi <3
Subject: Re: but i am so afraid [c] Sat 23 Sep 2023 - 13:55
Nightstalker's isolation, whether self-imposed or intended on Shadowclan's part, was actively making Nightstalker increasingly more spiteful and aggressive. So it nearly rose his hackles when Pineblossom - a cat who he loved and cared so deeply for, who had in the end betrayed him and his trust - approached him. He just wanted to be left alone, it was enough having to deal with terse silence and spotty conversation during his patrols. No cat wanted anything to do with him, and neither did he. She said it was important, and he had half the mind to tell her off, but there was a small part of reluctance that tugged at him. He had put so much thought and time into her name, so much contemplation - it was unlike him - and that little piece of him reared its head. "Fine. But make it quick." He meowed gruffly.
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Nightstalker Tier 5 Warrior of Shadowclan 70 HP / 160 SP
xaandiir Former Staff
Characters : [P]oppyshine; [Pi]neblossom; [L]arkspring; [Wi]llowwisp; [R]ashoumon; [B]lazekit Clan/Rank : RC T5 Deputy; SC T5; RC T5; RC T5; Rogue T1; WC App Number of posts : 3162 Gender : Any Pronouns Age : 26
Subject: Re: but i am so afraid [c] Sat 23 Sep 2023 - 14:14
Pineblossom
The gruff tone he used with her was still off-putting. They had yet to discuss everything since Leopardstar earned her name, and that was in part her own fault for how much she had been in her head. It felt cruel to speak to him about this before talking about everything that happened, but she needed to talk to someone. She nodded to him and led him to a corner of the camp where they were less likely to be interrupted by other passing cats.
Pineblossom settled down. Her eyes cast downward and her ears twitched, though she tried to will them not to lower. She took a deep breath and quietly admitted, “I’m expecting kits again.” It was odd to say it aloud. Pineblossom felt like she’d just spoken a curse into existence. “And I fear that it will have the same outcome as before.” She shook her head. “I know there is nothing you can do about it, I just…needed to talk to someone I trusted. I know you’ve had a lot on your mind already. I’m sorry.”
Characters : Nightstalker - Rom wuz here <3 Clan/Rank : Shadowclan Warrior Number of posts : 1155 Gender : Unspecified | kitty says hi <3
Subject: Re: but i am so afraid [c] Sat 23 Sep 2023 - 14:30
He was silent for a long time after Pineblossom told him that she was expecting kits again. His ears flicked back against his head, pressing flat as she spoke of her worries, about having another stillborn litter. He wanted to huff and puff, spit about how could she- how dare she consult in him when she had the whole of Shadowclan to air her grief with. But that would be too cruel, even for him. "Don't be." He meowed curtly, taking a moment to briefly rest his tail on her shoulder before he quickly pulled it away almost like it burned him. "Maybe talk to Burdockroot or Heatherberry about your concerns. They should keep a closer eye on you and your kits considering." He advised, turning away to look into the camp as cats milled about. He knew that he was disregarding her a bit, was treating her concerns like nothing, but she didn't get to have all of his love and kindness when she had admitted to the entire clan about his imperfections like it was her news to share.
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Nightstalker Tier 5 Warrior of Shadowclan 70 HP / 160 SP
xaandiir Former Staff
Characters : [P]oppyshine; [Pi]neblossom; [L]arkspring; [Wi]llowwisp; [R]ashoumon; [B]lazekit Clan/Rank : RC T5 Deputy; SC T5; RC T5; RC T5; Rogue T1; WC App Number of posts : 3162 Gender : Any Pronouns Age : 26
Subject: Re: but i am so afraid [c] Sat 23 Sep 2023 - 14:42
Pineblossom
Pineblossom lifted her gaze at Nightstalker, finding that he was looking away. Her heart ached. It was not as though she expected this news to make all of his grievances disappear, but…Her memories drift to when she first told him, how he had had the softest of smiles; how excited he had been for her. And how, when she had lost her kits, he had silently laid with her in comfort. And how, when the time was right, he had given her a new name so precious, after taking the time to think of something to replace the one that had carried so much grief. As strained as things have gotten now, Pineblossom holds her new name dearly to her heart.
And yet, there was no trace of any of that now. His words sounded sound almost cold to hear ears. She felt as though she had just fallen into the deep marshes in leafbare; drenched in cold and faraway. Pineblossom swallowed down her grief, setting it aside in a place she had not touched in many moons. If Nightstalker was still upset with her, that was fine; if he wanted to dwell on his own grief, that was fine. She owed him that much, she supposed.
“You are still upset,” Pineblossom murmured. “I do not blame you. But Nightstalker, you must know that I meant no ill will. It is as I told you before, leaders are held to high standards. There is no escaping that. It does not mean that everyone hates you. I certainly do not. But honesty is needed when it comes to the clans. I would be as honest with my grievances with Leopardstar as I was with you.” She sighed. “I am truly sorry that I hurt you. But I do not want you to continue hurting.”
Characters : Nightstalker - Rom wuz here <3 Clan/Rank : Shadowclan Warrior Number of posts : 1155 Gender : Unspecified | kitty says hi <3
Subject: Re: but i am so afraid [c] Sat 7 Oct 2023 - 17:12
"Everyone forgot everything I did for them, in lieu of a mistake I had committed moons ago. Every single good thing I did for Shadowclan was forgotten in a night. Don't worry about me anymore, Pineblossom. Shadowclan has made it perfectly clear that they don't want me around anymore and I'm just fine with that." Nightstalker hissed, his teeth bared as he resolutely looked away before he forcibly smoothed his features. "I'm happy for you. Truly. I hope you have all the kittens you've ever wanted and they're all happy and healthy. But you don't have to put yourself aside to make me feel better. I am a grown tom. And it is disgusting that you're trying to help me when you are still hurting from your stillborns." Nightstalker snapped, getting to his paws swiftly. "Worry about yourself." This was the kindest he could be, he thought. That Pineblossom both didn't deserve it but deserved the whole world.
Shadowclan hated him and he hated Shadowclan, it was easier to do what he was going to do believing that. And letting Pineblossom soothe him put what he was going to do in jeopardy, he couldn't let that happen. Lumping her in with the mass that he was sure wished him dead was much easier than knowing that there was still some kindness in Shadowclan.
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Nightstalker Tier 5 Warrior of Shadowclan 70 HP / 160 SP
xaandiir Former Staff
Characters : [P]oppyshine; [Pi]neblossom; [L]arkspring; [Wi]llowwisp; [R]ashoumon; [B]lazekit Clan/Rank : RC T5 Deputy; SC T5; RC T5; RC T5; Rogue T1; WC App Number of posts : 3162 Gender : Any Pronouns Age : 26
Subject: Re: but i am so afraid [c] Sat 7 Oct 2023 - 17:20
Pineblossom
A Pineblossom of the past may have let Nightstalker walk off, feeling too afraid to try and push him. A Pineblossom of recent past may have snapped him, finding his fit to be childish. The Pineblossom of now still felt hurt, but she had spent enough time with other cats, and especially with Nightstalker, to understand them a little better. She stood and moved in front of him before he could walk off.
“If you think it is a kindness to push me away, it is not,” she told him bluntly. “I do not speak for all of ShadowClan, Nightstalker. I speak for myself. I never wanted to hurt you, and I do not want you to feel isolated from everyone. But I came to speak with you before I spoke to Heatherberry or Burdockroot, or even Forestbreeze. I came to you. Because I still care for you, respect you, and think of you as someone important in my life.” She lifted her chin towards the taller tom and held his gaze. “Yes you are a grown tom, just as I am a grown molly, but that does not mean you cannot rely on others. You can be hurt, but please do not trick yourself into believing that I should not care about you. I’m not going to stop caring, Nightstalker.”
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