to know you is to know myself [c]

As the highest heat of the day passed, Violetpaw lay in camp picking at a squirrel. She had trained early with Graywind and was scheduled for a dusk patrol, so had the majority of the day to herself. Much like when she was a kit, the white she-cat found herself watching warriors mill about their daily business, each with their own troubles and favourite preys and best nap spots. She found it fascinating, but couldn't help her blue eyes falling onto Beechfang, the recent return to Skyclan.

Everyone, Violetpaw included, had felt the shift in camp after Beechfang returned. There was a mixture of reaction amongst the cats of Skyclan, and the apprentice herself couldn't decide where she landed on the scale of opinions about the exiled warrior. On one hand, Dawnfeather had been so happy to see her aunt, and watching her mother's worries melt away into kit-like excitement had brought Violetpaw an immeasurable amount of joy. However, there was no doubt that some cats were less happy, and as much as she tried to justify the circumstance, the young apprentice was also slightly on edge at the idea of a murderer in the camp. But if it was in self defence, was it really murder? And did all the love that these other cats had for her, Wolfblossom and Birdstar included, outweigh the bad she had done?

Throughout this thought process, it had failed to come to Violetpaw's attention that she had been staring, only being snapped out of her daze when yellow-green eyes lifted to meet hers. Mousedung. She quickly broke the line of sight by turning away, but now she was further intrigued. Hesitantly, she padded over to Beechfang, her half-eaten squirrel in her maw. "H-hi. I'm Violetpaw, Dawnfeather's kit. I'm really sorry for staring at you I didn't mean it but hello now I guess." She took a deep breath and sat now beside the large grey she-cat, keeping her mouth shut in fear of saying anything else stupid.

Beechfang had claimed a small patch of shade for herself, a half-eaten sparrow at her paws. She was aware of the mixed reaction to her return, had expected it even, and the stares of the less bold were nothing new to her. Some, she would simply meet their gaze and that was enough for them to retreat and leave the battle-scarred tabby in peace. She wanted to get to know her clanmates, of course, but if staring was all they could muster, Beechfang would simply let them. She was too old for the games and social nonsense. She had no patience for it.

The apprentice who was staring at her now turned away... And then surprised Beechfang by walking over with her own meal. So this was the Violetpaw that her niece had mentioned.

"It's alright... This time." There was the barest hint of a smirk as she spoke, undercutting the seriousness of her tone. This one was at least bold enough to approach her, though that was almost expected, if she were one of Dawnfeather's. "I'm Beechfang, though I suppose you were there for that little introduction. You're the first one who's actually approached me." Well, of the younger cats, anyways. But Beechfang wasn't going to complain about it.

As much as she tried, Violetpaw couldn't read Beechfang. With most cats, it didn't take her long to understand them, to see the perspective and try her best to appeal to it. Maybe it was because she didn't know the warrior very well, but part of her also suspected that was the she-cat's personality, although how much of that was nature and how much had been harshly sculpted by her life, Violetpaw also didn't know.

"I am?" She asked with surprise. "I am, of course." Most cats wouldn't approach an unfamiliar cat who they knew had killed, no mater how many days she had been in the camp. She shook her head slightly, feeling like fish out of water in this new territory of speaking with an unreadable stranger. "I'm not gonna ask about what happened because I know you probably don't want to talk about it, but I really want to know about before. Of course please tell me to go eat dirt if you don't want to talk, I'll happily oblige. Just maybe if you want to... reminisce about old Skyclan. Sorry that made you sound really old, I didn't mean it like that." Her paws were fidgeting as she stumbled slightly over her words, but she took a deep breath and carried on, more carefully this time. "It was just really nice to see Dawnfeather as happy as she was when you came back, and I find other cat's stories absolutely fascinating, so I was hoping you'd tell me yours." There. Wasn't so hard, was it?

The apprentice's words had Beechfang laughing softly, "Yes," she confirmed, "You were." Quite the modest one, was she.

Old? Old?? She wasn't old. Bloodstrike was old. Not her. "You mean Dawnfeather hasn't told you anything?" Beechfang was almost incredulous. "Oh alright, where to start...? Well, I was a medicine cat, called to the position shortly after Sagelight's former apprentice had disappeared. Desperate, if I was their pick if you ask me. I was my grandfather's apprentice, and he was the deputy at the time. I wanted to be just like him: a strong warrior. I didn't really appreciate being a medicine cat until I was finally out of that position. I... might've been a difficult apprentice for poor Sagelight." The subject seemed like a natural one to start with, though Beechfang was no true storyteller. It didn't come naturally to her as it might have for some cats, but it was a start, she figured.

Violetpaw did know bits and pieces about the other cat's past, but had always found stories were infinitely better when told by the one who had experiences them, so listened closely regardless. The apprentice had to hold back a laugh at the idea of Beechfang being a medicine cat, however, as having met the she-cat that now seemed ridiculous. "What was being a medicine cat like? It must've been so much work, especially if it wasn't what you wanted. But I'm sure Sagelight couldn't have found you that difficult." Even though Violetpaw could tell Beechfang wasn't the type to willingly accept pity, the apprentice felt like the season warrior at least deserved some of it. 

"How about the nice things that have happened, that's something a bit more cheery to talk about." Admittedly, she didn't know what sort of 'nice things' she'd even have to talk about - the life of a warrior wasn't exactly full of highlights, especially not the warrior that sat before her. "The kind of things no-one normally cares to ask about like, oh I don't know, your favourite game as a kit?"

"It was a lot of work. I got used to it at some point... But having to learn when the clan was suffering from so much injury due to the fire that swept through the territory..." Beechfang shook her head. "Medicine cats have to learn somehow, it's a very different experience than hunting and sparring." It went without saying that Beechfang far preferred warrior training.

As for good things... That was something Beechfang had to think a bit more than she would have liked to. Her life hadn't been flowery and full of sunshine, of course, and the turmoil Skyclan had gone through had been her turmoil, too. Still, there were a few things she could think of that weren't too horribly tainted by just living as she had. "Earning my warrior name, getting to help with my sister's kits... My own kits, of course." Favorite kit games? That was easy. Arguing with Dawnhawk. She was almost certain that would have been Bloodstrike or Smokefeather's assessment of her. The thought was one riddled with guilt, and not something she dared say. Not to Violetpaw, at least.

"Mossball, I was good at that." She went with her second choice. "What were yours?" Violetpaw wasn't that far removed from her own kithood.

Violetpaw paused for a moment, wondering about her own choice. She honestly hadn't expected the question to be returned, and so was caught a little off-guard. "Uhm... I don't know if it really counts as a game, but I used to - and still do I guess - just sit and watch everyone live their lives around camp. I made a little game of trying to guess what they were thinking about, who was annoying them that day, which patrol they'd been on already." Although she'd always liked spending time with her brother, sometimes just watching by herself was quite enjoyable. It made it sound like she had a really lonely kit hood now that she said it out loud, even though that was the furthest thing from the truth. "I also really liked playing with Alderpaw, but the watching game was great 'cause I could do it even when I was tired or when Alderpaw was sleeping."

Beechfang listened as the apprentice spoke. "Ah... You're more of a watcher, then." Rarely had her family been the sort to watch others and try to empathize with them. They were cats of actions, who preferred claws to words more often than not, with perhaps the exception of Copperfox and Primroselight. Both cats far too good for the circumstances they were born into, and both gone much too soon. "Alderpaw... Your littermate?" Dawnfeather had mentioned that name, she thought. One of the many she had not recognized upon her return.