decode [c]

Moons had passed since Sunfire and Juniperheart's nighttime encounter with the fox. Smokestep and Plumleaf had, thankfully, been able to stop her bleeding, and nurse her back to health. She'd been left scarred, physically, and though his pelt was mostly unscathed, his psyche was not. They'd both become warriors in between then and now, and the situation seemed to mostly blow over, but that near death experience had been the first time Sunfire had felt fear, and despite the time passing, it still hadn't left him. But... it wasn't fear for himself... not for his life, not for his warriorhood, not for his reputation. It was fear for Juniperpaw - now Juniperheart - and truth be told, he was at a loss as to how to process that. His entire life, his entire personality, had been built on that foundation of fearlessness and bravery... but as he watched that fox bear down on the SkyClan molly, jaws slavering and bloodstained... as his eyes rested on her limp body in the grass, a pool of blood spreading out around her... he'd been helpless. He'd been scared.

So while he'd visited her several times in the medicine den as she healed, he never stayed long. He'd instead thrown himself into finishing his training, becoming a warrior... and once he'd been given an apprentice himself, he'd thrown himself into her training. Rosepaw was a good excuse for him to be out of camp, busy, but most importantly, away from the thing that was causing him so much... turmoil. Every time he saw Juniperheart, his heart panged with longing, and guilt, and affection... but he couldn't afford distractions, and so he stayed away when he could, interacting with her only when it was unavoidable, or just in passing. He was never cold, only aloof... seemingly unbothered.

Today, though, they'd been assigned the same patrol. And when it came time to split off, it was he and Juniperheart who ended up together, while the rest of the patrol went a separate way. As they meandered towards the border in an awkward yet not entirely uncomfortable silence, Sunfire risked a sideways glance, his eyes soft and conflicted. This was rare for the young tom, who generally went out of his way to appear calm and confident... but right now, the first time that he'd been alone with her in what seemed like moons, he didn't actually care. "You look like you're doing well," he said gently.

Sunfire was incredibly hard to understand. While Juniperheart had spent the last few days of her apprenticeship recovering in the medicine den, Sunfire had visited-- not very much, mind you, nor very often, but he did at least show his face once or twice to give her a few words and one of his completely indecipherable stares. Yet, when she finally earned her name, Sunfire was nowhere to be found. It didn't take a genius to understand that he had been avoiding her, but Juniperheart could not for the life of her understand why. He couldn't possibly be upset with her over the fox attack, since it was his fault. Honestly, maybe it was for the best they hadn't interacted much since the incident. Neither of them had gotten into much trouble, at least to her knowledge, and Juniperheart had been able to enjoy her early warriorhood without having to deal with Sunfire's rotten mouth. Or her feelings for him.

Since the fox attack, Juniperheart had been looking at Sunfire a little differently. Not too differently-- he still grated every nerve she had-- but differently enough that she felt his absence and longed to see a pretty pair of yellow eyes. It was infuriating, if she had to be frank; Juniperheart didn't have crushes, not on Sunfire, not even on Lichenwing. She was above crushes.

But Sunfire looked at her softer than he ever had before, told her she looked well, and Juniperheart's poor little heart did laps in her chest.

"Thank you." She responded curtly, not daring to look Sunfire in the eyes. She had managed to escape that fox's jaws with only a long thin scar across her chest and shoulder, and while it took a considerable amount of time to heal she was eternally grateful that that was all she had endured. Without Sunfire, she would have come out much worse.

Juniperheart did not put up a good fight when it came to her heart. Just as quickly as she had told herself to stay clipped, the molly turned her pretty head to lock eyes with Sunfire. He looked bigger than she remembered, a little war-torn, but his fur had stayed just as pristine as it had always been, no ugly scars in sight. Stars above he was handsome. "Thank you," Juniperheart mewed again, this time no louder than a whisper. "You look well too."

Without thinking too hard about it, Sunfire lowered his head, gently butting it against Juniperheart's. It was the first time he'd gone out of his way to initiate true, affectionate physical contact - outside of sparring, of course - but somehow, it just felt like the right thing to do. The truth was, he wasn't happy that she'd lived solely because he would have gotten in trouble... but because he truly thought that if he'd let Juniper die that night, he never would have forgiven himself. Could he explain why? No... not in any way that he understood. But the beast that was his ego was pleased by the way she looked at him, how her voice was hardly a whisper on the wind when she replied, telling him that he, too, looked well. And it, alongside that ache in his chest every time their eyes met, wanted her close to him. Not just here. Not just now. Always.

Juniperheart was kind, and gentle, and poised... but she was also brave, and brilliant, and determined. The traits that had annoyed him when they were apprentices, now drew him to her. He wanted her by his side. He wanted her there when he- no. Sunfire shook the thoughts from his head. Not that. Not now.

Sunfire met her eyes. "Juniperheart, I... never apologized, and I should have. Going after that fox was a harebrained idea, and I should have prepared us better." He inhaled, puffing himself up so that he stood slightly taller, and then exhaling in a rush as he looked at her. "But... you followed me into those woods fully knowing we could die. You fought beside me when the opportunity to run was right there. You should have left me to face the consequences of my own stupid decisions, but you didn't. I cannot explain the depths of my appreciation, of... my admiration. Of you. So, thank you. Seriously."

He shifted his weight from paw to paw. "And I apologize for being so distant, too... and not visiting as much as I should have when you were hurt and laid up. It took me... a long time to process what I wanted to say."