The future's in your paws. Shape it well.Roleplay in a cat Clan of warriors. Based off the Warriors series by Erin Hunter. Takes place in an AU before the cats in the books existed.
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There was hope, however vain, that Blackbear would return soon.
She didn’t.
It had been nearly half a moon since so many missing warriors were freed and the twolegs had finally taken their leave of the forest. It had been many, many more since she first left, in search of her apprentice. Now, the cat she had vanished in search of was home, and a fully-named warrior as well. She was still nowhere to be seen.
Sighing quietly, Birdstar unfurled herself, rising from the place she had been lying to pad across camp. The sight of pale fur had caused her thoughts to drift towards her former apprentice, and she’d finally convinced herself to approach him. Wolfblossom had done well with checking on their Clanmates; she figured she ought to get better at that, too. Stopping a little ways away from Creamsky, she said simply, “We’re going for a walk. Come with me.” She paused only a moment to be sure he’d heard her before ducking her head and turning away, making for camp’s exit.
Subject: Re: heavy games [C] Wed 8 Mar 2023 - 15:48
Creamsky had been posted not far from the entrance of the camp - basking in a sunbeam while lazily watching the entrance. He wasn't keep an eye out for anything in particular but ever since the foxes had broken in, it seemed better to stay on alert just in case. His ears twitched at the sound of pawsteps approaching and while he had been expecting one of his friends to be there - he was instead taken aback by Birdstar, who simply ordered him to join her for a walk.
He blinked a few times as she started to pad away, but he knew better to argue as he pushed himself to his paws and hurried after her. He opened his mouth, wanting to ask what it was about. Was she curious about how training was going for Juniperpaw? She was showing fine promise - nearly ready to become a warrior. Was there something else? He...Wasn't sure and in the end, he held his tongue as he followed the leader from the camp. He would let her speak first, it was best not to make assumptions anyways.
Subject: Re: heavy games [C] Wed 8 Mar 2023 - 15:57
Birdstar
Creamsky obliged quietly, simply padding along behind her as she led them along beneath the trees. Birdstar wasn’t sure if she was grateful for the silence or if she would have preferred idle chatter. The quiet, at least, gave her time to gather her thoughts and decide exactly what she wanted to say.
She was still mulling over the heavier subject when she murmured, “New-leaf is getting closer. Look.” She nodded pointedly towards one of the trees near to them. Little green buds speckled the branches, the promise of new growth. Many of the trees were reaching that point. It was something nice, something to look forward to.
Sighing, she slowed until she was barely putting one paw in front of the other. “Blackbear didn’t return with the others.” Birdstar said it plainly. It’d meant to sound casual, but the dryness in her voice was apparent. Her head lifted so she could look at the younger warrior properly. “She was your mother, Creamsky. Are you doing alright, with it?” There was genuine concern alongside the gruff of her voice. She had lost her mother, too– but she at least had the luxury of seeing her mother still, always in the heat of chaos.
Subject: Re: heavy games [C] Wed 8 Mar 2023 - 16:09
Creamsky glanced up with a flicker of confusion at Birdstar's words, only for his eyes to widen as he caught sight of the speckles of green that was lining the branches. New-leaf... The cold weather was being put behind them - their lives were going to get easier as prey became more plentiful. He was eager to see what the warmer weathers would bring - what it would be like. He had heard stories of when the trees branches would be coated in green instead of bare like they were.
His smile however faded as Birdstar spoke once more - mentioning Blackbear. Oh. So that is what this was about. He slowed down besides the leader, glancing at her with a bittersweet expression. "I'm...Managing," he responded, a sad sigh escaping him. There was still a relief at being honest about it - at how well he was doing or...Not doing. "I hope she will come back to us still but I have my doubts - even if she is perfectly okay... Would the thought of returning without Crookedlight at her side be something she considers? I miss her so much but I...I know better than to put my faith fully into the idea that one day she will walk through the camp entrance."
Subject: Re: heavy games [C] Sat 11 Mar 2023 - 14:36
Birdstar
Birdstar’s heart sank a bit at watching Creamsky’s smile drop. Mouth drawn into a line, she remained quiet as he spoke, only nodding quietly. When it seemed like he was done, she let out a breath and murmured, “You’re smart for being so young, Creamsky.” She certainly didn’t have that emotional intelligence when she’d been in his position. She’d wanted to burn the forest down. “I wish I could say something more certain. But… it’s wise, to continue moving forward.” The last few words came out tight. A wave of sudden guilt had come over her. Thinking about why and how she had left… Birdstar’s hackles briefly lifted before she forced them flat. She didn’t have time to consider the notion it might have been her fault.
Tapping Creamsky’s shoulder with her tail, she mewed, “I have faith in her health. Blackbear is a tenacious cat; wherever she’s gone, I’m sure she’s alright. If she doesn’t return, I’m content with thinking that.” Though they were almost an echo of his, Birdstar hoped the words were some small comfort. “She’s been known to be surprising, too. Stranger things have happened recently. Perhaps she’ll return chased by a pack of angry badgers.” She added quietly. It was supposed to be funny, an attempt to lighten things, but Birdstar knew the hurt of her disappearance being all-but solidified was still fresh.
Subject: Re: heavy games [C] Fri 17 Mar 2023 - 14:49
"...I had to grow up fast with her gone," Creamsky breathed - he hadn't been expecting to respond to her first remark but the words tumbled out before he could stop them. There was a tinge of bitterness at it, because it was so true. He had thrown himself into his training as a distraction and hadn't really gotten to...Enjoy the freedom of being an apprentice. He hadn't wanted to think about her, so he did everything else to distant who he had been when she was around. His gaze flickered up as the leader tapped him with her tail, listening softly before a snort escaped him. "Chased by badgers? Knowing Blackbear, she will have fought them and end up being their leader in a show of force," he responded - but as much as he was trying to joke as well, there was the clear heaviness that was weighing his heart down - making his words feel stinted and a little cold.
There was a long pause, before he glanced away - finally asking a question that had haunted him for so long. "...Why did you let her leave?" he asked, giving the leader a long look. "You weren't surprised when she disappeared so you knew, right? Did you try to stop her or did you just...?" For a heartbeat, his fur prickled in a surprised anger - wishing that that Birdstar had forbidden her of leaving so that she would still be here but... A heavy exhale, and that anger was gone in the tired breath. "...I just... I try not to think of the what-ifs - I like who I am now, even for all of the pain but... It doesn't change how much I miss her and wish she hadn't' left."
Subject: Re: heavy games [C] Thu 6 Apr 2023 - 11:07
Birdstar
A tight hum left Birdstar as the younger warrior spoke. The bitterness in his voice wasn’t lost on her, nor was the chill in his attempted joke. Still, she laughed, however strained. He made a good point. Another painful squeeze found her heart the longer she thought about Blackbear.
She’d been content to let the admittedly-uncomfortable silence draw on, but Creamsky’s voice brought her drifting eyes back to him. Birdstar blinked, then a frown drew across her maw. Suppose she couldn’t avoid burdening Creamsky with her guilt over her apprentice. The flash of anger through him made her whiskers twitch.
After another period of silence, Birdstar quietly answered, “I don’t know.” Her shoulders moved in a weak shrug. “I really don’t. It’s a terrible answer, I know, but I… I don’t know. Maybe my head wasn’t clear yet. I believed in her, though.” The use of past tense made her wince unexpectedly. Hurriedly, Birdstar corrected, “I still do believe in her. She can’t be gone forever.” Her words trailed away as her eyes wandered up, once again focusing on the buds speckling the branches. Birdstar breathed in deep, letting it out in a slow, steady exhale. “I don’t think I could have stopped her, though. I know she would have listened if I had told her no, but… one way or another, she was going to find Crookedpaw.”
Slowly, her head lowered, and Birdstar’s eyes were closed when she tucked her chin against her chest. “I regret that I let her go, Creamsky. That said… I don’t know if I would do differently, with hindsight. It seems that’s what she was meant to do. Even if he returned without her… well, she’s being kept busy.” She laughed bitterly. “I wish I had a better answer for you, Creamsky. I don’t. I… maybe I should have just told her to stay. I wish I could know what would’ve happened, if I had. But I didn’t, and now… we’re here. And I’m happy, that SkyClan is here, even if that means still looking for Blackbear.”