Everything stays, but it still changes [c]

His clanmates were home.

That was a fact that Stormdance could not quite stop marveling over. The twolegs that had been haunting their forest for so long had finally seemed to begin to retreat. Though much was still to be done, and Stormdance did not allow himself to believe everything was truly over, it was impossible not to feel relieved.

He’d been cleared from the medicine den. The bite he’d received from the dog wasn’t too bad once it was cleaned and treated, and he was quickly getting back into the swing of normal warrior duties. He was relieved to wake up and find the warrior’s den filled up once more, to find all the missing faces once again filling their nests, and to be able to resume his usual routine of training with Rowanpaw.

Not that Rowanpaw needed much training at this point. Stormdance would be speaking to Perchstar about that soon. It was long past time Rowanpaw should be receiving his warrior name. Stormdance felt a rush of pride and warmth for the younger tom. He could not believe how much time had changed the both of them. Rowanpaw had grown so much, both physically and emotionally. Stormdance ached that he hadn’t been able to see some of that growth, but at least Rowanpaw was home.

He and Rowanpaw had spent the morning on a hunt. It was nice. They spent as much time hunting as they did just… chatting, catching up idly about inconsequential things. Rowanpaw teased him about Brookstone, Stormdance groaned before ribbing him right back. It almost felt like things were normal again, if not for the stubborn collar around Rowanpaw’s neck, the occasional jingle reminding them both of what had changed.

After he and Rowanpaw dropped their catches off on the fresh kill pile, Stormdance reached over with his tail to tap Rowanpaw’s shoulder. “Would you like to eat together?” He offered, glancing up towards the sun to gauge the time. It was far past the time they should both get something to eat. Besides, if Rowanpaw agreed, it would give Stormdance the chance to segue into something he’d been meaning to talk to Rowanpaw about. Or… more like something to give to Rowanpaw.

Rowanpaw

While the return to Clan life was abrupt, it didn’t feel jarring. One morning, Rowanpaw was staring at the same dusty walls he had been for moons– the next, he was waking up in his nest and thinking about an afternoon hunting patrol. It made him feel secure, that he could fall into old habits so easily. There was still a bit of discomfort in rebuilding muscle and convincing himself he was meant to be here, but the ease of routine helped to soothe him.

It was especially nice to spend time with Stormdance. With his bite healed enough to perform, Rowanpaw was insistent on following him around as often as he could. It made him laugh to himself to think about. To go back and tell a littler Rowanpaw, on the day of his apprentice ceremony, that one day he would be clinging to his mentor’s side…

He had to stifle a snort at that.

Even frustrated, he was put at ease having Stormdance with him. The persistent rattle of his bell scared most prey away, but he couldn’t stay mad when the space between attempts was filled with idle banter he had missed dearly. He’d even managed to catch a few things, something he was deeply proud of, and content warmth still radiated through his fur as they returned to camp.

The tap of Stormdance’s tail against his shoulder brought Rowanpaw’s attention back from wandering across camp. He blinked a little, surprised by the question– he hadn’t thought about it. It was a bit late in the day, he supposed, and he couldn’t decline anyway. Quick to smile, Rowanpaw nodded and mewed, “Of course. My pleasure,” before shuffling close to the fresh-kill pile again, bending to nose away what they had just dropped off to pick up a trout. With a whisk of his tail to beckon Stormdance after him, he trotted off towards a corner of camp pleasantly shaded by reeds, where he dropped the fish and all but fell comfortably onto his side.

Stormdance smiled back at Rowanpaw, shoulders relaxing as Rowanpaw agreed. Grabbing himself a fish as well, he trotted after Rowanpaw. However, once Rowanpaw found them a spot, he set down his food and said, “Give me just one moment.”

The warrior’s den wasn’t far, so it didn’t take long at all for Stormdance to duck into the den and hurry to his nest. The gift was still safely tucked into it. It was more than a little silly, and he was sure that Rowanpaw would call him sappy among other things for it, but he didn’t really mind. He was just grateful he had the opportunity to annoy his brother with his emotional self once more.

Returning quickly with the gift in-paw, Stormdance settled down beside Rowanpaw and set down the shell. It was a pretty little thing, a soft blue with fainter yellow markings. He doesn’t know what grabbed his attention about it when he first found it, but the decision to save it for Rowanpaw’s return had been made almost instantly. He nosed the shell closer to his apprentice.

“For you,” He says simply, softly. “I know it’s just a silly little thing. But I wanted to give this to you when you got home. Dovesight gave one to me when I was still an apprentice. It was to help comfort me during storms. A reminder of home, she said. I know you’re not afraid of storms like I was, but…” Stormdance shrugged. “But I thought it might be a nice reminder anyway.”

There was more Stormdance couldn’t quite put to words. He wanted to share one of his oldest coping mechanisms, one that had been effectively washed away when the earthquake hit and this whole mess began. He wanted Rowanpaw to have a reminder of home, a reminder of family, even if he wasn’t due to go anywhere anytime soon. He wanted to express with something a little more than words that Rowanpaw was his family.

Rowanpaw

The closer Stormdance got, the further upright Rowanpaw sat, until he was sitting all-but entirely straight when his mentor reached him. It was impossible to keep the warm grin off his face. He reveled a bit in these moments of overwhelming joy, so he would allow himself to express it.

Still, he deflated a little when Stormdance walked away. Just as it was harder to hide his glee, it was hard to hide his disappointment. That had been true all his life, and he had slowly learned how to mask it somewhat but everything felt so much more now. The rush of emotions he’d felt at Fourtrees… it had dulled a bit, but it’d yet to wear off. Sometimes the smallest things would hit him harder than they should.

But Stormdance was only going to the warrior’s den, and his voice and the fish he’d dropped off promised he would come back. Still, Rowanpaw watched him carefully, just to be sure he didn’t disappear.

It wasn’t long before he returned to view, and Rowanpaw brightened again quickly when he did. His head tilted, eying his mentor as he returned to his side. Stormdance had something with him, and Rowanpaw’s eyes narrowed curiously, trying to see what it was. His attention was still focused there when Stormdance settled close to him, and the shell was gently placed in front of him. Instantly, his eyes widened.

A short, stiff cough left him at the simple for you. For the rest of his brother’s words, he was quiet. His attention remained on the shell, staring at it with surprise and awe. It was such a simple thing, and yet Rowanpaw decided on sight it would never leave his nest. If he had a way, it would never leave his side.

It was just a shell. Rowanpaw’s ears turned forward. He prayed nothing ever happened to it.

“Oh!” The word came out a high, choked sound. Immediately, he cleared his throat. His voice was smooth when, after a thoughtful moment, he spoke again. “I have never actually said I am not afraid of them. Have I?” He hated the thunder, though he wasn’t truly scared of it. There were enough quiet fears he refused to name that made up for it. Rowanpaw reached out a paw to rest against the shell, gentle as he could. Maybe it was just the rush of the moment, but just touching it made him feel better.

He wanted to throw himself into Stormdance’s side and stay there for the rest of the late day. Instead, Rowanpaw issued a brisk huff and turned his nose upwards.

The air had become too thick with emotion. It made the fur along Rowanpaw’s spine rise a little. With a toss of his head, he managed to chirp, “You are so sickeningly sentimental, Stormdance.” Despite the dull playful bite to the words, the deep purr that was suddenly rumbling through Rowanpaw’s throat overwhelmed it. He almost felt shame for the sound, but he swallowed around it. Folding his paw around the shell and drawing it to his chest, Rowanpaw added quietly, “It is very kind, and I will not lose it. But you are still insurmountably schmaltzy.”

Stormdance watched the myriad of emotions play out on his apprentice’s face. Rowanpaw accepted the shell, drawing it close, and Stormdance felt his shoulder’s relax. He knew, especially as Rowanpaw was becoming a warrior before very long, that there would be plenty of things Rowanpaw would face on his own. As much as Stormdance hated it, there already had been. But so long as he knew Stormdance would be there as much as he could possibly be, then that would be enough to soothe the worst of Stormdance’s nerves.

Rowanpaw’s comment drew a hearty laugh from Stormdance’s throat, his eyes closing as the warm sound rumbled through him. “Mm, I know.” He replied, still chuckling. “I am positively intolerable with all my gross sap. You’ll simply have to manage, I suppose.” He wrinkles his nose at Rowanpaw playfully.

Rowanpaw’s purr is met with a purr of Stormdance’s, and he flicked his tail affectionately over Rowanpaw’s side before leaning down to actually take a bite of his meal. Deciding to spare Rowanpaw from the emotion still heavy in the air, Stormdance said, “Are you looking forward to this upcoming gathering? I know you always enjoy them.”

Rowanpaw

Stormdance’s easy banter brightened Rowanpaw’s smile. He wrinkled his nose right back, a sincere chuckle bubbling out of his chest. The comfort of the moment made him ache. Despite the flash of pain the memories came with, Rowanpaw thought back to the several conversations between him and Crookedpaw over what they missed most about their homes, or what they most particularly longed to do on their return. Smiling a little wider, Rowanpaw decided it was this– sharing tongues with those closest to him.

Acknowledging his own fish, Rowanpaw brought it closer and took a small bite out of it. He was still refreshing the habit of eating regularly, but he made sure to revel in the taste of fish with every mouthful. Swallowing, he answered, “I believe so, yes. It has been some time since I’ve been to a Gathering.” His fur rose and fell again as excitement passed through him. Throwing himself into the thick of the hollow would be the best way to catch up on everything he had missed, even in the other Clans.

Still, there was a bit of apprehension over it. The feeling seemed to follow most of his thoughts these days. What would he even talk about, with members of another Clan? He had little idea what happened with them in the time he’d been gone. And while RiverClan had accepted him and the others readily, what if other Clan’s warriors weren’t so kind? That almost sounded more dreadful than earning RiverClan’s disapproval. To have a scene caused around him, in front of the entire forest, not of his own making…

“I am excited, yes!” Rowanpaw nodded enthusiastically. “Perhaps I shall stay near to RiverClan and simply listen this time, though. We shall see! You’ll be going, yes? Even if it is just to spend the night sitting with Brookstone.”

Stormdance examined Rowanpaw out of the corner of his eyes as Rowanpaw’s fur rose and fell with excitement, as his eyes reflected the emotions the apprentice felt at the mention of a gathering. Was that Stormdance’s imagination, or were there nerves that just flashed across his ever-confidant apprentice’s face? The idea made him feel… something.

He knew that Rowanpaw’s time with the twolegs was bound to change him, but it hurt his heart to imagine Rowanpaw dealing with the anxiety Stormdance was so familiar with. He always wished Rowanpaw could learn a little more caution, but he didn’t want Rowanpaw to feel the way he felt so often; unsteady, afraid of his own shadow, isolated by his fears.

But he was likely overthinking, as he always does. A case of nerves before experiencing a gathering, an often overwhelming experience, and one Rowanpaw hadn’t seen for several moons, was perfectly normal and healthy. Still, Stormdance found his tail flicking over his apprentice’s flank in a show of silent comfort.

“I'll be there,” He promised easily. “I will, however, probably just spend the night with Brookstone,” He agreed with an easy chuckle. “I prefer to just observe them. I am not much for socializing, as you know. Perhaps I will get the chance to speak to a friend or two, if Blazefang is not busy or Brook finds someone she wants us both to speak to. It can be relaxing, when chaos isn’t determined to reign over those things.” He wrinkled his nose. “Have I ever told you of the first gathering I ever attended?”