Captured, Again [Open/Wave 3]

Beechfang growled and spat at the twolegs furiously. She'd been foolish to go back to twolegplace, she'd been foolish to let her guard down for even a moment. They had captured her again, and while she'd been scared the first time, now all the fluffy, scarred tabby felt was fury. She hadn't woken groggily to pain in her belly or a missing ear tip, or the strange collar that they had placed on her last time, and that meant that Beechfang was very much awake and aware of what was happening around her.

The other cats in the cages around her weren't kittypets this time, either. It was a strange sight to see clan cats here in the heart of twolegplace, and an unwelcome one, as far as Beechfang was concerned. They should've been with their clans, not trapped here. Even the Windclanner she could smell in one of the cages. At least, she told herself, there was no scent of Skyclan. It wasn't her clan anymore, but she hoped that Birdchaser and her siblings would not have the fear of missing clanmates to deal with in addition to the havoc the twolegs were wreaking on the forest territories. Birdchaser was, she almost didn't want to hope, Birdstar by now, and would have needed to pick a deputy. Someone sensible, Beechfang hoped, but sense was alarmingly difficult to find in Skyclan on the best of days. And these certainly weren't the best of days. The only comfort was that nobody she cared about was here with her.

For the moment no twolegs were in the room with them, and so there was little chance of escape. Beechfang's head rest on her paws as she glared at the metal bars of her cage. The twolegs had left their strange, foul-tasting pellets and tepid water in bowls near her, but she wasn't hungry. She wouldn't ignore their horrible excuse for food forever, but for now Beechfang could manage. Perhaps she could ignore the stirrings of other cats around her, too. The twolegs came at specific times, and she would remind them of why capturing cats was a bad idea the next time they showed their ugly faces.

Blinking groggily, Smallbean lifted his head, slowly easing back into consciousness. Squinting at his surroundings, he questioned when he had fallen asleep, and where he was. Beneath him was some... twoleg moss. It felt nice. For some reason his body ached. His head felt strange, it was like his movements were delayed - like his thoughts were delayed. It took abnormally long for him to process his situation. Slick, shiny walls, sterile air, the twolegs in white. "I'm... back?"

With how strangely dazed he felt, he almost thought it was a dream. But it took mere heartbeats for his memories to return. The twoleg, the cage, the monster. Now he was here, a place he hoped he'd never have to see again. A sick feeling of dread set in, sweeping over his thoughts like an angry sea. He quickly became acutely aware of his senses, cringing at the feeling of something confining his neck and head movements, also shortening his field of view. It surrounded his head, it made moving and seeing anything difficult. He tried to hook his back claws beneath the slick material, but they wouldn't hold. They scratched uselessly at its surface.

Panic set in, he turned to the only open side of his enclosure; a wall of slick, reflective bars. The only thing separating him from the rest of the building. "Hello...?" he meowed, hearing his voice echo. There were smells of many cats around him, but in his confused state it was difficult to discern whether or not there were clan cats nearby . "Is there uh.. Any clan cats?... Hello? Please?" Memories of the last time he'd been to a vet set in, although he was with Rookfire, then. Now, he didn't know anything about where he was, who he was with. For all he knew he was about to be sent out to live with twolegs again. He'd rather die than return to them. He had to do something, anything. So, he called for help. "Is anyone there?"

For a while, Beechfang rested in silence, and then a voice finally spoke up, asking questions. Clan cats... Oh yes, she had been one of those. Not the one he wanted to see, she was sure. Recognizing the trembling voice was a surprise, and Beechfang wasn't sure it was a welcome one. The last time she'd seen the tom, he was sitting among the deputies at a gathering where she had confessed to murder... And had still looked as cowardly as he had when they had been medicine cats together. "...Smallbean?" She doubted he would be thrilled to hear her voice after the long, miserable moons of seeing each other at the moonstone, or after witnessing what became of Lilacstar, and Beechfang... Didn't really care what he thought. They were captured, that was what mattered. "Unless another great shake happens, I doubt any of us are getting out of here easily." She'd had to trip the last twoleg who held her captive, biting at her ankles to ensure she stayed down long enough for Beechfang to escape. The former warrior stretched her paws, claws catching along the silvery bars of her cage. They were thin, almost as this as grass blades, but they were stronger than any tree branch Beechfang had known.

A voice spoke up, finally. One he recognized. The memories it invoked were unpleasant ones. With a furrowed brow, he called back. "....Beechface?" It seemed that she remembered him, too. What a surprise, he thought that a cowardly Windclanner like himself wouldn't be worth the space in her head.

Out of all of the cats he could have met here, why did it have to be Beechface. A cat that never in his life he had felt any ounce of gratitude towards... until now. Even if he'd despised Beechface his whole life, she was familiar, at least. And for what seemed like the first time, Smallbean noticed not a hint of malice in her tone. It would only be a matter of time, he was sure. For a moment he contemplated refusing to respond. Eventually, hesitantly, he meowed back. "I know..." He was no stranger to the cutters... unfortunately. Last time he was here he didn't feel so dazed, and they hadn't put this collar on his head.

"Is there um... anyone else here?" It couldn't just be Beechface and himself, could it? He shifted uncomfortably, practically getting stuck beneath his own paws. He pressed himself against the cold, shiny walls. There were cats within earshot of him, yet he was... alone. Isolated in this den. His eyes remained fixed on the area on the other side of the bars. If his thoughts weren't cloudy and muddled together, he'd surely be a nervous wreck right now. Still, he wanted to get home. "Beechface... How long have we been here." The twolegs had put him to sleep, although the memory was fuzzy. He hoped that not too much time had passed.

Beechface. It had been a long time since anyone had called her by that name. It was a reminder of a different life, a different cat. Her ears pinned back for a moment, and the tabby let out a huff. "I gave up that name when I became a warrior. It's Beechfang, now." A name and rank she had felt she actually earned, one that had been her own choice.

Only to have thrown it all away for her own need for vengeance. She wondered if the tom remembered the battle, remembered Lilacstar's lifeless body. Cloverheart's foolhardy intervention, her ugly, foolish outburst at the gathering after. Beechfang forced the thought from her mind. If he still knew her by her old name... It didn't matter, she told herself. What the Windclanner kept up with was his own problem, not hers. And perhaps if they'd all focused on only their own clans things might have turned out very differently.

Maybe being called by her old name bothered her. Just a little bit. Beechfang tried to ignore it.

He knew... About the cutter's? Or something else? Well, if she hadn't been the only one recaptured... It wasn't her business, either way. "A few days, no more than a week, I think. You're the first one who's been talkative outside of the kittypets they bring in." She answered the questions, head dropping to rest on her paws again. "There's other clan scent, though. Not Skyclan, thankfully."

"Oh..." Smallbean hadn't bothered to keep up with Beechfang; he always had more important things to worry about. It wasn't like he wanted to know about her anyways. Nothing good ever came from Beechfang. It was something he learned quickly after meeting her.

"..Hm."  It seemed that Beechfang was avoiding Skyclan. If he were in her place, he'd probably do the same. Strange she would change her name, though. It was mostly still the same. Besides, she was recognizable from a mile away. Changing her name wouldn't do anything. He simply sighed as she continued to speak. "Well that's a relief." He didn't know how she knew they'd only be here a few days, but he wouldn't question it. He was prepared for the worst anyways.

Silence befell them. His mind lingered on Beechfang. How she used to be, how much she'd changed - or didn't change. A few moments passed before he spoke again. "Beechfang?" He regretted speaking as soon as the word left his mouth. Anxious hesitance kept him from immediately continuing, but he'd left her hanging - he had to say something. His thoughts might be scrambled, but he still knew how easy to was to get under Beechfang's skin. Letting out a defeated sigh, he figured that there wasn't anything that she could do while they were both trapped. And this was something he genuinely wanted the answer to.

"... What... happened to you." He subconsciously winced, expecting a sharp-tounged answer in response. Eyes squeezed shut, he continued. "You could still be a medicine cat right now. You didn't have to do what you did." Not a hint of irritation plagued his tone. If anything, there were traces of concern and worry. Smallbean had known Beechfang since he was a medicine cat. He couldn't recall how many moons, but it was enough, to say the least. He felt that there was a valid excuse for his own resignation from medicine cat, it was practically out of his own paws. Beechfang had practically ruined her whole life, her career as medicine cat included. Not to mentioned the lives of those around her. That's what he'd heard, anyways.

"You don't know? Truly? Well... It's not like we have anywhere to be." Beechfang sighed. He thought she still wanted to be a medicine cat? A hollow laugh escaped her, one filled with bitterness she had thought long gone. Smallbean truly hadn't been paying attention. "Stepping down from being a medicine cat came first, actually. That was one of the easiest decisions I have ever made. It was intentional, and not a mistake as you seem to think." As far as her exile went... She had made mistakes. Many mistakes.

"Cloverheart couldn't keep her mouth shut at the gathering after the battle. She got caught in the crossfire of something she never should have been apart of and was angry, I get it. I would be if my leader had put me in that situation too, defending cats who had done wrong by the entire forest only to wind up attacked on the battlefield. Wolfstar didn't know that Riverclan would have put their most vulnerable in front of him and wasn't expecting it. Lilacstar attacked me during that battle and paid for it, but she had every right to do what she had to to defend her camp and I was there of my own volition. Attacking a medicine cat is frowned upon, but that is the risk anyone takes when they show up to a battle. Cloverheart couldn't let it go and had to disrupt a gathering to feel better about her own insecurity. I had sat on one of the branches of a great oak to get her to stop screeching at me, and she continued, choosing to screech at the leaders instead. Cloverheart knew exactly what she was doing and that her words were going to provoke someone. It wasn't going to be me." She tried to recall if Smallbean had been at that gathering, and couldn't remember. It didn't matter. "One of our apprentices smacked her. Lightly, barely a scratch. Next thing you know lightning struck the branch I was sitting on, caused a fire and... well. My memories of it are hazy at best. I don't blame my half-sister for striking her but it shouldn't have happened at a gathering. Starclan did what they always did and the ones who caused the trouble got away unharmed." Her lip curled in disgust. She was in too far to stop now, remembered pain and anger surfacing. Smallbean had asked a loaded question and now had no choice but to listen. Or try to tune her out. Since he couldn't just wander off... Good luck to him. She didn't care. He wasn't the first to bring it up, but apparently he was the first clan cat who had been living under a rock.

"It took me over a season to recover, a season where Starclan offered nothing while the foxheart your clan sheltered continued to wreak havoc on everyone in his sight. They reprimanded us after the battle, while I and my apprentice were tending to the wounded and burying the defenseless elders and apprentice he killed. That alone might have been enough to sever my connection with them, I think. The lightning only proved how little they cared. I never wanted to be a medicine cat, and Muddythorn was much better suited to it than I was. He became my apprentice because he wanted to be, while I had been forced into it against my will after the fire that swept through Skyclan territory. So when dad finally became leader and offered to make me an apprentice again, to finish the training I'd been pulled away from, I took it. He promised me that on the way home from Windclan territory, I hadn't been expecting him to remember it or even follow through on it. I expected some other calamity to happen, something that would demand Skyclan need two full medicine cats. Nothing did, and less than a moon later I was Beechpaw again. Moons spent as a medicine cat didn't do much to keep me out of shape, but the moons spent cooped in that den doing nothing... I wasn't going to languish in that den forever and I wasn't going to die a medicine cat. I wanted to leave that past behind me more than anything, Smallbean." If he still didn't understand, she could explain. Oh stars could she explain. They were both captive here, maybe he would learn something from her words. Why cats thought that stepping away from being a medicine cat was a mistake was beyond her. Smallbean had cleared confused the events surrounding her stepping down and her exile, and the reasons she had been set on that path were inextricably intertwined.

"Try watching your family suffer while the stars do nothing but sit and laugh at you. Watch your littermate betray your clan, have your deputy and father dragged out of camp broken and blood. Watch him be named deputy because your leader wanted desperately to prevent further bloodshed while the Asylum held us all hostage and thought that was the way to do it. He killed a kit who wasn't even three moons old in front of me and our mother. While we marched on Windclan after seasons of trying to figure out where he was, after seasons of begging the forest to help, warning you all of that monster that you had hid right under our noses and then let escape so he could murder elders, murder our own grandmother and an apprentice - kidnap another apprentice who had been given her name that morning. Listen to an entitled, spoiled rat cry and belittle you and screech about things she had no idea of. Get hit by lightning and then she still finds ways to harass you moons and seasons later when you want nothing more than to not deal with the foxdung. Meanwhile Starclan looks down on your every decision and offers nothing but criticism. The moment I stopped seeing them in dreams after being struck by lightning was a blessing. At least my own nightmares cannot pretend to be helpful while harming the living at every opportunity." She spat.

"I was a warrior and had been for moons, Smallbean. The dark forest - again, my foxing littermate - held the forest for moons just as Asylum did. We finally get rid of them in newleaf and Cloverheart could not have been farther from my mind with everything happening. Yet Cloverheart still could not leave it alone. Every time we met it was her approaching me. I wanted even less to do with her than I wanted to be reminded that I wasted half of my life as a medicine cat. Why do you think my name was changed? Even my father, with as much foxdung as I and my siblings have given him over the years, understood that. Cloverheart, starclan... It made me understand where Dawnhawk was coming from." The bitter disgust had resurfaced in her voice, and Beechfang closed her eyes for a moment, taking a slow, deep breath. "I had every intention of minding my own business on that patrol when she approached me, as she always did. Screeching like a rabid dog, taunting me about how I had ended up, about my own kits. The unborn kits I was carrying at the time, even them. At the time I could think of nothing but how she would deserve the dark forest. Just to shut her up. You don't have to tell me it was a mistake, that it was wrong. There is no use in stating the obvious." She was so tired. So very tired of it. "Perchstar thinks I am no better than Dawnhawk. In some ways she is not wrong - we were pushed into making a choice, pushed far beyond limits most cats could handle. But I am not so lost to vengeance that I would take out my anger on entire clans for the sake of one cat. I killed Cloverheart, I confessed to it, my exile was the end of it. My father would have plunged the clan into war rather than lose yet another family member. Even he understood how wrong it was when his own clanmates challenged him. My brother would have ripped apart Riverclan from the inside and taken joy in it. I expect there are plenty of cats who are just waiting for that, to get the chance to say they were right, and they will be disappointed to know that I regret a lot of things."

"One of my daughters is Skyclan's leader, another and my son are its medicine cats. I was exiled when they were barely into their apprenticeships, and not because my clanmates wanted me gone. They are better off without my presence incurring the threat of war on them. I can hear the disappointment in your voice, Smallbean. I can manage being disappointed in myself for the both of us just fine."