Step by step [c]

Walking in silence is hardly unusual for Birdchaser and Rainpaw. Before the earth decided to try to shake the cats from atop it from its pelt; what little of Rainpaw’s training had been completed consisted mostly of silence punctuated by instructions, and Rainpaw either succeeding or failing and training again. It was comfortable. They were both quiet cats by nature, and neither felt much pressure to talk when it wasn’t necessary.

This silence was…loaded, was the best way Rainpaw could describe it. It wasn’t like there was anything wrong with their relationship, or at least, Rainpaw hoped that wasn’t the case. He couldn’t think of anything he had done recently that could’ve caused this. No, it was just the weight of all that had happened pressing down on them no matter where they were or what they were doing.

Birdchaser had just been thrust from the position of deputy to the position of leader, a stress Rainpaw could only imagine, with no idea where Briarstar was, and when and if she would return. On top of that, they were driven from their home, had lost several other cats of the clan, and the looming threat of the twolegs continued to plague every cat and hung over their heads like a stormcloud ready to burst.

Rainpaw had no idea how to help. He was overwhelmed himself, grappling with losing Crimsonflame to a seemingly senseless death. He did not know what he could say or do to lessen the burden on Birdchaser’s shoulders, other than try to do his own duties and be there whenever he could, but he was still just a half-trained apprentice, no matter how much he cared for the cat that had taken him under his wing.

A cold breeze chased the two cats as they walked along on their hunting patrol, causing Rainpaw to shiver as it fluffed up his thick fur and dug right down through his skin. His ears were pricked for any sign of returning twolegs, but other than the noises of distant twolegs that had become their permanent background as of late, their patrol was relatively, and blessedly, quiet.

Rainpaw’s tail twitched as he once again glanced at his mentor. He could think of no words to say, so he did not speak, but as he contemplated their situation, he thought that if maybe he managed a few good catches, it would at least bring a smile to Birdchaser’s face. Perhaps he would catch her a nice plump bird, and it would make her a tad more content than she was a few seconds prior.

With a rare bit of luck, Rainpaw spotted a sparrow nestling among the branches that had become rapidly more bare with the onset of Leafbare. He signaled to Birdchaser with a twitch of his tail, dropping down and approaching the tree. He had improved in his tree climbing since his first attempt, so he was hoping this would be easy enough. Carefully, Rainpaw leapt smoothly into a nearby branch, making his way silently up the tree and towards the peaceful bird. His oft-cursed small size was a benefit to him here, as the tree branches barely shook beneath his light paws.

He leapt, and landed on the sparrow from above, catching it in his teeth and finishing the job quickly before it had time to do more than flap it's wings in protest. He lifted his head and offered Birdchaser a smile over the bird, leaping back down to the ground and marching right up to Birdchaser, setting it down. "I got it." He told her matter-of-factly. "It's a big one. Which is good. For the weather."

Stars, he's even worse at talking than usual.

Rainpaw attempted to catch a sparrow, and succeeded! It cost him -3 SP.

Birdchaser

So much had happened, all too quickly. Things undone, things to be done. Those that were there and those that weren't. Those had become almost the entirety of Birdchaser's thoughts. Where the incessant grumbling of monsters could not pierce her thoughts, she got caught in the same loop she'd been stuck in for days. I'm here. Briarstar isn't. Crimsonflame is dead. Dawnfeather alive, hopefully, wherever she is. Not enough fresh-kill. Too many traps. Leg hurts. Noise, noise, noise. Briarstar gone. That was it. It was hard to think of anything else when not only tragedy, but responsibility far beyond her, were the only things clearly in sight.

Not just going through the motions. More to be done than just work. As if spurred to duck by the chilly breeze, Birdchaser bent her head downwards. Rainpaw walked alongside her, as silent as she was. His quiet presence beside her had been a constant since his earliest days within SkyClan's walls; now, it felt like one of the only constants she had left. She was grateful for him, though that wasn't particularly special. She was always grateful for him. This was a different sort of grateful, though. Thank you for not going missing. Thank you for not getting captured. You're a good cat, a good apprentice, a better son. Instead of voicing those thoughts, she stepped a little closer to the littler cat's side as they walked along beneath the trees. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw his head tilt to regard her, too. Quietly she wondered if he had noticed how tired she looked; surely he had, he was perceptive. Like it would combat her exhaustion, she shook herself out, ruffling herself up to seem bigger. It was, admittedly, a small comfort.

Also out of the corner of her eye, Birdchaser saw his tail flick in indication of something. Curiously, her attention turned in the direction he'd been watching. She hadn't even noticed the sparrow that was resting there; a quiet shine of pride glowed through her darker feelings. He was a wonderfully smart apprentice, and hardly for her part as a mentor. When the time came, he would make an excellent warrior. With a nod, Birdchaser stilled her paws to keep from rustling any stray foliage, watching silently as he approached the quarry. A strong leap into the lowest branches– he had gotten better at that, too –and a swift, painless kill. Rainpaw rejoined the ground with a soft thump, and Birdchaser's chin slowly tipped down until it was all-but nestled in her ruff as he padded right over to her.

"It is a good catch," she mewed softly. There was supposed to be some emphatic thrill there, but... she shrugged inwardly. Even if it didn't come through her speech, she hoped Rainpaw would hear the enthusiasm regardless. "Probably one of the last good ones before all the prey turns to bones. Good job, Rainpaw. You're getting better every day." Birdchaser pawed quietly at the ground, signaling him to bury his catch before they moved along, then stepped forward. As she passed, her tail brushed affectionately over his flank to convey what pride might not have been realized.

Quietly, she approached the base of another tree, head tipping backwards to stare towards the claw-thin branches of its crown. Even the lowest branches were high above her; she was a tall cat, and she had to think for a moment if she would actually be able to make it without needing to claw the rest of the way. "You're getting better at climbing, too. Do you remember when you were a kit, I told you you would learn to climb just like all SkyClan cats? I think I told you you would learn to be the best." As she spoke, Birdchaser turned over her shoulder, and as she faced Rainpaw again there was a small, tired smile where her expression had been neutral before. "Well, you take after me." With that, she bunched her muscles and sprang upwards.

Her claws just barely caught onto the branches she'd had her sights on. Her hind paws scrabbled against the bark, and her forepaws gripped tightly to properly pull herself up. They bowed in a way they did not below Rainpaw, but she had long overcome her fear of wobbling structures. Now that she was up, she was searching for what had brought her here: a robin, to match Rainpaw's sparrow. She had smelled it, and with a surprisingly confident flutter, it alighted on the far, narrow end of the branch she stood on. It was a good thing birds were not as bright as cats. Carefully, she crept forward, silently cursing her parents and grandparents for being so massive. There was a moment where the robin's wings had started to unfurl, and it had certainly seen her– but Birdchaser was faster. Paws raised, she caught it just as it started to take off, bringing it back down sharply. It wasn't the cleanest kill, but it was still edible. That was what mattered. Slowly, Birdchaser released her weight from it, allowing it to drop to the forest floor below. "Watch for falling birds," she called down smoothly. Though that flatness was still there, Birdchaser's tail was waving slowly, and she was still trying to smile. For Rainpaw, she would just try to enjoy the day, to keep them both in good spirits.

Birdchaser attempted to catch a robin... Catch successful! -3 SP.

There was no trill to Birdchaser’s praise, no high lilt in her voice of excitement. Her voice was flat, and yet the enthusiasm carried over regardless of inflection. Birdchaser’s words rang through him from the tops of his ears to the very tips of his tail. Rainpaw was hardly one for emoting, but for the briefest second his lips twitched up in a ghost of a smile, and the warmth settled right behind his ribs and stayed there. The brush of Birdchaser’s tail over him only made the warmth expand.

With no shortage of admiration, Rainpaw watched Birdchaser’s movements with rapt attention. He may be improving, but he knew he still had a long way to go. In order to learn, he would study the best, and that meant watching Birdchaser like a hawk as she spotted her prey. He was pleased he had been meeting her expectations thus far, and he did not plan to fail in that now. Watching her, he felt a familiar rush of something that felt like pride. That was his mo— Mentor.

The snort that left him at Birdchaser’s wry joke was short and inelegant. ”I’ll relay the forecast when we get back to fourtrees.” He said flatly, then his lips quirked up ever so slightly. He moved to bury the prey they had catched so far, and when she returned to the forest floor, so did Rainpaw return to her side; like it was as natural as a cat in the forest, or as a bird in a tree. He moved closer now. He saw her move to lighten the mood, and while the clouds hanging heavy over both their heads made no move to dissipate, Rainpaw appreciated it anyway. And perhaps, like always, storms seemed like less of a threat in her prescense.

”Birdchaser?” He said, emboldened by the warmth lingering in the air between them. “Would it be alright if you told me more about your family while we hunt? I…” He trailed off, then offered a weak shrug of his shoulders. ”I find myself curious, I guess.” In truth, he just wanted to know more about Birdchaser’s family, because while he may not say it, her family was his family too.

Birdchaser

Rainpaw snorted a little laugh at her joke, and Birdchaser felt her smile brightening somewhat at that. It was always nice when someone would actually acknowledge and find humor in her stiff manner of joking. She had not expected to become so attached to the little tom, but she almost could not help it. She'd been the one to find him, to recover him from the storm-torn forest, to watch over him through kithood– to mentor him, as he learned what it meant to be a warrior alongside his fellow apprentices. And now, he laughed at her poor jokes. As Rainpaw rejoined his place at her side, shuffling just a touch closer, her tail whisked fondly toward him again. She was grateful she had been the one to find him- or that anyone had found him at all. She didn't want to think about how hollow this day would feel without him.

Her attention was turning away, set to refocus on the boughs overhead in search of more birds when Rainpaw's voice caught her. An ear flicked towards him, and Birdchaser angled her head slowly back down to meet his eyes.

Ah, when she looked at him now, with talk of family lingering in the air, she couldn't help but realize how much he looked like her. Not exact, but quite, quite close.

"Well, you know most of them," Birdchaser started softly, tipping her head in the direction of Fourtrees as she spoke. "Out of all of us, Plumleaf and Wolfblossom are the good ones. They must have gotten it from our dad; I don't know how my sisters ended up so kind. Fogfeather, Lichensun..." She sighed, and the weariness felt just a bit heavier. "You knew Fogfeather in all his roughness. Just like our mother, just like I am. Lichensun... he was good. The way Wolf and Plum are." Her heart ached for her lost brothers. She bit her tongue against mentioning Crowpaw.

"Trufflesnap is... well. Half the litter ended up like dad, the other not so much. Truffle is a terror, but she's still my sister. Try not to listen to her too much when she talks, Rainpaw. I'm pretty sure she thinks I'm poison." There was a slight, agitated flicker of her tail, and Birdchaser stepped slowly forward, ushering them along. Hunting was momentarily forgotten, but she wanted to at least move to push out some of the tightness that came with thinking too much. A bit strained, she laughed, "You don't know it, but you probably know my mother. She was there, when the ground was shaking– that big silvery cat with an eye and half her pelt missing. That's Beechfang. You'll... if you haven't already, I'm sure you'll hear things about her. Not kind things, either. I guess she may not have been perfect, before my littermates and I were born, but she was always good to us. I never saw it.

"My grandfather too, that big ugly tom that came with her. That was Bloodstrike– he was SkyClan's leader, before Briarstar. I never knew him well, and when I did know him, he was... troubled, how about that? But he's my grandfather. He's family, even if he spits when he talks." Birdchaser sighed, pausing when a drop of rain hit her nose. The darkening sky was slowly opening; a faint drizzle had started to come down. Blinking away the water she got in her eyes, she went on, "My family has a history of causing problems. I'm sure that's the first thing you'll hear, if you ask anyone but me. They've all got blood on their paws in some way, and... and while I don't, I can't say I'm not like them. But the family members I know– most of them, at least –are good cats, at the end of the day. SkyClan wouldn't be here without them." In a softer voice, and without looking down, Birdchaser added, "You'll be a good cat, too, Rainpaw."

Rainpaw listened intently as they walked along. His ears laid flat for a moment as Birdchaser described Trufflesnap. How could anyone, anyone, view Birdchaser in such unkind terms? She was single handedly the best cat Rainpaw knew. He considered the idea that he may be biased, considering the fact that she saved him, but then decided he didn’t care if he was or not. He also decided that it would be best if he avoided Trufflesnap. He didn’t think he would be able to trust his temper if someone insulted Birdchaser in front of him.

Then his attention was quickly pulled away. He stopped short. “She is your mother?” Rainpaw blurted out. “She’s terrifying! They both were!” Then, a pause, and he flicked his ears with embarrassment. “Sorry, that was rude." His ears swiveled. He’d heard the names before, but not in this context. Crimsonflame (Rainpaw’s heart did a small tinge of grief as he thought the name) had told him of how Beechfang came to be exiled, of the murder of Riverclan’s medicine cat and how he himself had nearly been exiled by Bloodstrike.

It was difficult to merge what he had been told before with Birdstar’s perspective, but he tried. The idea of those huge, scarred cats still terrified him, but when he looked at Birdchaser and heard the love in her voice as she spoke about her mother, Rainpaw almost hoped he’d get to meet her properly.

Rainpaw tilted his head up as the rain began to sprinkle down, and he wrinkled his nose at the sensation. He moved closer to Birdchaser then, unashamedly pressing against her side. Despite it being his namesake, he really didn’t like rain at all. It reminded him of… Well. It reminded him of the worst of his life. He wondered as he walked about his own family, his birth family. He wondered what his mother was like. He only remembered soft fur and a rumbling purr, the sensation of a nose tucking him into a warm side. He wondered about his siblings. He wondered what they would be like if they got to grow up. He wondered, not for the first time, if he had done something differently, would they still be alive? If he was just faster, smarter, better, would they have survived? It didn’t seem fair for him to be alive and the two of them near-forgotten.

A familiar sense of guilt clogged Rainpaw’s throat. He looked at Birdchaser again. ”You’ll be a good cat too.” Would he? When he had already started off abandoning and failing his only family? The words sounded almost like an acknowledgement, like she was saying he was a part of that family too. Rainpaw wanted that so badly it ached, to allow himself to say that Birdchaser was his family, with all of the history and baggage that may come with being brought into that family.

But did he deserve that?

Shaking his head, Rainpaw tried to find his words again. He’d been silent for too long. “Thank you, Birdchaser.” He said softly, pressing against her a little harder as the rain soaked into his fur and laid it down flat. “For everything.”