Bittersweet [C]

The early morning sun warmed the forest, drying out the wet ground from yesterday's rainfall. Humidity hung in the air like a thick blanket, settling in the velvety folds of Woolywing's fur as he stretched, stepping out of his den. His goose pelt, quickly becoming inseparable from him, was draped over his shoulders lazily; one wing hung lower than the other. The imbalance wouldn't matter for the time being anyway, it wasn't like he had any patrols this morning. He'd specifically made sure he was in camp today. Today was the day his siblings were due. His heart fluttered at the thought of it. He, an only kit, was finally going to be a brother. Yes, Sandypaw was for all intents and purposes his sister, but it wasn't quite the same. He'd be there from their birth, watch them grow up, play with them... Everything an older brother should do, really. Hopefully there'd be less eagles involved this time.

His mother had told him only a few weeks ago. She didn't want to worry him, she'd said. It did sting a little bit that she didn't tell him earlier. She was his mother, he was meant to know these types of things! But he was far more over the moon than annoyed about it. It was killing him not to be in the medicine den with her now, but she deserved privacy. He'd asked Sandypaw about the general process out of curiosity... Needless to say he didn't want to bother her during all that. She'd have her paws full with the kitting, and he'd only be in the way of the medicine cats. So he'd wait out here, a few paces from the medicine den.

He paced around camp, or rather a small portion of it so he wouldn't lose orientation. He needed to remember which way the den was for when his siblings were born. He thought about how many there would be. Perhaps it'd be a singleton, like him. Then they'd have something to bond over. Oh, but twins would be so cute... And some litters were simply massive. Imagine, if he went from having no siblings to five or six! The idea of it made him smile from ear to ear. How many mollies and toms would there be? He wasn't sure if he preferred either one. Maybe a brother, since he already had Sandypaw. Stars, this was so exciting!

He heard a yowl. The smile melted from his face and he turned in the direction of it, ready to rush to his mother's aid. Had something gone wrong? Then, he stopped himself. Kitting was painful, he reasoned. A yowl was no cause for alarm... But worry ate away at his heart. He took a tentative step. Then, another yowl. This one was unsettlingly... pained. He broke into a run. Normal or not, he couldn't stand waiting out here while his mum was hurting any longer. He stuck his head into the mouth of the medicine den after feeling around with his whiskers for the entrance.

"Mother?" He murmured unsurely. Then, the pungent smell of blood hit his nostrils. He was well used to it, so he didn't recoil, but it filled his chest with tight panic. He could hear his mother's breathing, he realised. It was quick, shallow and rattly. He approached, taking care not to bump into the medicine cats. They didn't object, so he crept up to her and lay down by her head. She made no sound of acknowledgement. "Mum, talk to me. Is everything alright? Do- do you want me here with you?" For a minute, nothing but her shallow breaths could be heard. Woolywing's panic mounted. Then, she finally spoke. "Woolywing. Look- look at her. Your sister. isn't she-" she took a pained, wheezing breath that tied Woolywing's stomach into knots. "-gorgeous?" She was far, far too quiet. "Mum, I can't-" His voice caught. "I- yes, she's lovely. What'll you call her?" he whispered. Something was seriously wrong. His own mother, the most observant cat he'd ever met, forgot he was blind. She didn't just forget. My little... flower. I'll... call her Blossomkit." Her breathing was getting less and less uniform, and now even talking was taking up too much of her oxygen. Dovesight and Sandypaw were hurriedly doing something by her belly, and the smell of fresh blood was ceaseless. His heart sank, lower than it had ever sank before. He pressed his head against hers. "You... take care... of her. Mother's going to sleep... just for a..."

The panting stopped. Her wheezes were replaced by a far more terrifying noise. Silence. He nudged her with his head. "Mum, no, stay awake, come on... You'll be okay, just wake up." He pleaded, but he knew better. She wasn't breathing. Her head lay limp and the medicine cats who had been so feverishly working were no longer rushing about treating her. She was... gone.

He choked back a sob. Mother wouldn't want him to cry. It wasn't proper of a grown tom to cry. He knew that, though he let a tear give him the slip before swallowing down the lump in his throat. He turned to where he assumed either Sandypaw or Dovesight was standing- his senses were numbed from holding back the looming threat of an escaped wail. "Is the kit... Is Blossomkit healthy?" He forced out with a choked voice. The question of his mother was left unsaid. He needed to know if his sister made it out alive. He wasn't naïve, he knew his mother had not.

Everything was going fine at first. It was just a normal kitting.

Then it all went wrong. There was way too much blood. Too much pain. She found herself rushing to do anything to stop the bleeding. But she was bleeding out too fast. But she never stopped. Not until the queen was gone.

She found herself slumping to the ground, defeated. It was only then that she realized Woolywing was there. What was she going to say to him?

"Woolywing, I'm so-"

"Is the kit... Is Blossomkit healthy?"

The question caught her off guard for a moment. "Y-yeah. Yeah. Blossomkit will be just fine."

When the little kit came into the world, the scent of blood was rich on her senses. Iron clinging to every stimulus a newborn kitten could have. There was no milk scent for the little kitten to follow, nothing warm and rich for her little paws to shimmy towards, so all she could do, was mewl. Hunger and a steadily growing coolness distressed the young kitten into vocalizing, unknowing of the cats in the same space as her. All she knew, was loneliness, and the richness of blood.