3 words : 8 letters

Daisybreeze sat in camp the wind a constant that seemed to always be on and always be whipping through camp. This was home but the wind got a bit old and tiring after some time.

As she sat there the wind ruffling through her pelt, she thought about what Smallbean had said to her when they had their special day with the deputy she had won when she defeated the other apprentices in the apprentice games.

She had asked him for advise, in how to fix the things she had broken when she had started the fight with Whisperear. Everyone seemed to be avoiding her from that point on. She hadnt talked with her friends Flutterpetal and Adderdawn in along time and it was only with them on patrols where they were required to be together, afterwards it felt like they wanted nothing to do with her.

She understood completely, she had been a total jerk to them and let her ego and pride get in the way of being a decent friend to them both. They had been there for her when her brother and father had both died and how did she repay them? By lashing out at them for trying to break up the fight that she had started? She closed her eyes upset even thinking about it. It was hard enough admitting to herself that she had messed up royally. Admitting to others and apologizing? Her ego and pride would never let her hear the end of it...

Still, thinking back to smallbean's advise she knew that she had to try or risk losing ever having the opportunity again. The longer she let it just sit the worse it probably would get too.

Spotting them sitting together a good distance away she looked down at her paws sighing to herself... erggg this was the hardest thing ever!

She would rather face foxes and badgers than have to do this. At least they were something you could punch your way out of... there was nothing so humiliating as having to own up to your past mistakes espically with an ego like hers... euggg this would be the death of her she thought negativly.

Letting out a long breath she did her best to put all that aside and focus on what she had to do.

Walking over to them the distance felt like it would never close. She was so tempted to just stop at the fresh kill pile instead and make it look like that was what she was doing all along. She could still bail out of this! She went closer and closer to them... past the pile, well no going back now right?

Going to them she sat down before them both. Smallbeans comment that they may or may not forgive you rang in her ears... Would they? She wasn't sure.

"Flutter, Adder?" she took a long breath looking between the two

"I erm .. I uhh" aw crowfood... this was so awkward... she thought to herself

"I have been meaning to tell you both" she shuffled on her paws a bit

"erm I realize that I made a mistake and that my actions were uncalled for and not right. I totally blew it and it was not fair for either one of you. I didn't mean to put you both in that situation and my anger and words to you afterwards were ... not ... right?" she forced the words out. She meant them, and you could tell she was genuine: just very hard for her to say them.



"I am sorry"

The last moon had been a difficult one for everyone, and though Flutterpetal was good at acting like he was okay, he was beginning to notice what a toll it had taken on him. He wished that life was comprised of nothing more than patrols, hunting, flowers and his friends. However, that was not a wish that all others shared. Other cats had dreams of being leader, ambitions of fighting well, pride that kept them from appreciating others, and many other flaws and characteristics that made them who they were. Life would likely be boring if every other cat was just like him. Flutterpetal knew that. And yet, on a fundamental level, he could not understand cats who fought. He could not understand unsheathing claws, in order to aim them at another cat, even an enemy... let alone a Clanmate. Maybe that was why the image kept haunting him. The image of Daisybreeze's fangs sunk into Whisperear's neck.

He was good at acting like the image had left him the moment it ceased. He was good at acting like it didn't pop up every once in a while, when he sat among the flowers for a moment of attempted peace, when he looked through the fresh-kill pile to find something to eat, when he tossed and turned in his nest at night. Not even Adderdawn likely knew how much that image was tearing at his heart. Was it because both of the cats were his friends? Was it because he had grown up alongside Daisybreeze, been mentored by Whisperear, known both well-- or thought he had? Was it simply the violence of the image, beyond anything he had seen before? It was his first time seeing two cats fighting each other, instead of a hawk or a snake. He didn't understand it... and maybe that was the problem.

Still, it had caused him to avoid Daisybreeze. Or maybe she was avoiding him. She probably hated him, judging by the venomous look she had given when he tried to intervene in the fight. That look had hurt almost as much as the image that wouldn't leave him alone. Unkindness from another cat, especially from one he was close to.... He wasn't sure how to feel about it. Maybe if they never interacted again, it would be for the best. He knew it was cowardly. But was it wrong?

No matter how much she lingered in his thoughts, the last thing that Flutterpetal had expected was for Daisybreeze to approach him. Where he sat with Adderdawn, chatting about the patrols they had been on that day, the last cat he expected to see walking up to him was her. His friend. His former friend. No, his friend. She wasn't glaring at him this time. While he would have greeted any other cat, the unexpectedness of Daisybreeze's appearance left Flutterpetal struck dumb. She had simply crossed the divide that they had manufactured between them. Walked over it like it was a line in the dirt instead of the Gorge he had perceived it to be. And then, she began to speak.

The words were hard, like a paw being drawn out of thick, caked-over mud. Perhaps they would have been easier if they had been spoken when the mud was fresh... instead of now, when it had been left to harden and solidify for nearly a moon. Still, she said them. And they hurt a little bit. It was not the content of the words that hurt, but the fact that they were being spoken at all. The reminder that what had happened, had happened. The reminder that they had not been said earlier. It wasn't a bad hurt, though. It was a good one. The acknowledgement of a scar on a wound when it was torn open to be treated with soothing herbs.

Silence hung in the air for a moment after the words. The paw was withdrawn-- mud-caked still, but withdrawn nonetheless. Flutterpetal's light green gaze had not moved from Daisybreeze's eyes the entire time she spoke, and even then, it lingered still. But then he blinked. Then he spoke. "I still don't understand why you would fight a Clanmate," he began slowly, honestly. "I may never understand it. We are different cats. But... I'm glad that you were able to take the time and think for yourself about what happened. I hope that you've decided to not do something like that again. I don't think it's worth it." His tail swept over his paws. "I was hurt that you would hurt another cat," he confessed. "It felt like I hadn't really known you at all. And... I was hurt that you were mad at me for trying to stop the fight. It still doesn't make sense to me. But I guess, if you are willing to be sorry, then it doesn't need to make sense." He finally tore his eyes off of Daisybreeze's, looking at the ground for a moment. "I accept your apology. I want to be friends again. I don't want to be mad. It might take a little while for our friendship to come back... but if you think that it's worth it, then I'll work for it too." Flutterpetal looked back up. "...Do you still want to be friends?"

Daisybreeze held her breath, she knew she was not the greatest at making grand speeches and talking smoothly: especially when it came to topics this hard for her. She was a naturally very proud cat and putting that aside to try and salvage all that she had broken was a very hard thing for her to do. She knew it was not the best apology but she hoped that Adder and Flutter would see that she truly was trying her hardest to fix what she had shattered earlier. She felt awful about her actions, she wished she could find the words to express this better, to tell them how it ate away at her day after day and how she wished so much to turn back time and relived that terrible day of her life again, how much she would change if she only could again.

After she had done her best to apologize she looked up to see their gazes, Flutter was deep in though but she saw an angry almost aggressive look from Adder. She glanced downwards, ashamed of herself and for once she no longer even had the confidence to meet his gaze.

Her stomach felt in knots as the silence slowly passed by each second seeming to be an eternity. Until, finally : Flutterpetal spoke. She knew that she was a total jerk and in the wrong but she didn't realize just how much it had hurt Flutter. Hearing him talk made her throat tighten up in sorrow and regret at what she had done to her wholesome friend... he did not deserve any of this. He was a much more deserving cat than what she was able to offer him in a friendship.

However, he accepted her apology and offered his friendship again.. it would of course.. take time which she understood quite well, she had messed up big time and so it would need rework but he was willing to give her another try which is the only one she would need to make it right. She wouldn't mess this up she told herself.

She gave him a little smile of gratitude dipping her head "Thank you Flutter, I ... I dont know why I did it either, I messed up and I feel terrible about it. I want to get better and I thank you for your second chance. I do still want to be friends with you and promise to work hard to earn back your trust and friendship over time." she blinked... wow that was not planned at all and she didnt think it was half bad either... maybe she wasnt such a terrible cat after all? Well ... at least she was getting better? maybe? She tried not to think about it too much.






Adderdawn held his narrowed golden gaze on her this whole time and she waited a bit until he began next.

He started with a question... She shifted uncomfortably, "I am going to apologize to Whisper as well . I haven't yet" she answered looking down at her paws. It was not her natural gift to mend things that she had broken, it was trying enough for her to be in front of these two now. She truly did intend to apologize to Whisper... but she needed time to really try and figure out how to approach it correctly.

He continued with a huff and with ice cold precision. Her ears flickered and she looked down at her paws as he continued. She didn't feel justified in her anger... well not anymore. She was so upset at her past self for allowing her anger control, the mess it had landed her in.

His words ripped into her and she felt awful from it, the thing that hurt the most was she knew that he was right. She had expected it to go about like this. How flutter had been able to so easily forgive her she was unsure, it spoke more to his wholesomeness and good nature than anything else.

Flutter's acceptance had gotten her hopes up though and they came crashing back down as Adder continued his points. Her ears went flat against her head and her tail dropped.


She could feel tears waning threatening to fall as she closed her eyes shut tight. No, she had given up enough pride for one day, they would not see her cry like a kit as she forced the tears away.

she bit gently on her tongue in an effort to to keep her whole jaw from shuddering. The reality she feared was upon her, she was losing her friends too.

She had lost her brother and father and their deaths haunted her, she felt so alone without them. Goldenpaw wasn't here to be with her and their plans of being warriors together and time spent as apprentices now seemed a distant past of another life, one that was not ruined.

Even when she had lost Hawkheart and Goldenpaw, she still had her friends... until she decided to throw that away too. When Adderdawn finished and told her that he wanted nothing to do with her and that they would not be friends she had never felt so alone before.

Despair took her as she managed a nod to his words.

She sat their stunned at the rawness of the words. She deserved every bit of that she supposed but it didnt change how much it hurt.

"I cant tell you why I did what I did, I messed up and I have regreted it every day since. But I don't wanna lose you Adder. I lost Golden and Hawk and I dont have many left at all" she looked to the ground.

"I am in no way saying that losing Golden justifies what I did at all... but tell me truthfully... if you lost Flutter would you change for the worse? I know I would if I lost flutter. she said quietly. It was in no way meant to excuse her mistake but maybe it would let him see the degree that her loss had on her. If she lost her friends now too... she wasn't sure what was left for her.

"I understand your decision Adder, I hope maybe one day maybe we can be again" she forced out, it was hard to hear his words and know that it may never be the same ever again. She wasn't sure how to ever get Adderdawns trust back or if that was even possible anymore.

As Flutterpetal spoke, he felt Adderdawn moving gently beside him. The mood had shifted the moment that Daisybreeze began to speak. He knew his brother better than anyone... which meant he could tell the change in emotion that radiated from Adder's pelt. It was a hot, uncomfortable emotion. Well, I can't blame him. Daisybreeze was mean to him too, after all. Maybe he won't want to be friends again. And that's okay. However, while he was prepared for the rejection of her friendship offer, he was not prepared for the cold words that came from his brother's maw.

Adderdawn made good points. Much of what he said was undeniably true. However, Flutterpetal felt his chest grow tight as the conversation continued. He had never liked arguments; no matter who was upset or why, fighting either emotionally or physically always made him sick to his stomach. As much as he loved his brother, this was no exception. The soft black tom turned to look at his brother, his whiskers twitching as he absorbed the look on his face. The anger was twisting Adder's features. His eyes were pinpricks of gold, his gradient fur was bunched up around his shoulders. Flutterpetal felt his paws shifting anxiously beneath him.

"Know, though, if you hurt him again, you will have no chance at earning forgiveness from me."

Flutterpetal blinked at that, an expression of shock crossing his face. Was Adder really mad because of how Daisybreeze had treated him... or how she had treated his brother? The thought that he might be the reason they would no longer be friends sent a momentary pang through his heart. It wasn't his fault, was it? Did Adder feel obligated to do this for him? No... he seemed genuinely upset. This wasn't like when he had put on a facade of peace after Goldenpaw's death had broken something inside him so thoroughly that Flutterpetal hadn't been able to mend it quite yet. Still....

He leaned into Adder's form, feeling how it was moving gradually closer to his. He entwined his tail with his brother's in a show of love and support. "Don't feel like you are forced to do anything, Adder," Flutterpetal murmured softly. "Your life is yours, and you choose who to share it with. Choose what will make you happiest." For the briefest of moments, he rested his nose against his brother's cheek. Hopefully, this might lessen some of Adderdawn's unhappiness. While he couldn't control other cats and how they acted, he hoped that Daisybreeze's apology would eventually help Adder feel a little bit better. No matter what, though, Flutterpetal would be there for him always.

Having taken the time to care for his brother, Flutterpetal returned his solemn green gaze to Daisybreeze's features. "Adder does have a point about apologizing to Whisper," he pointed out, no malice in his tone whatsoever. "And like I said, I still don't understand what you did, and I still think it is wrong. I won't pretend that nothing happened. But if you want to work on repairing our friendship, then I will put in effort on my end as well."

Almost immediately after, Daisybreeze spoke again. She seemed very disheartened by Adder's words; understandably, as it must have taken some courage to admit that she was wrong in the first place. Flutterpetal knew Daisybreeze-- at least a little bit. He knew that she was proud. He knew that her achievements in battle meant a lot to her, and that her family's deaths had shaken her. She seemed to have lost control of her actions, and-- though Flutterpetal still believed it was her responsibility not to do so-- she at least seemed to feel remorse. He smiled gently at her response that an apology to Whisperear was forthcoming. He wasn't sure how his mentor would take it... but that would be up to them to decide. Either way, hearing an apology would surely not make anything worse. Her body was shaking. Was she... okay? If he hadn't been so intertwined with his brother, Flutterpetal would have gone to comfort her, despite how venomous she had been to him the last time they interacted. He couldn't stand to leave anybody feeling sad. Despite himself, he began to take a step forward.

Then, the last few sentences drifted from Daisybreeze's mouth. At the words they contained, Flutterpetal felt himself unconsciously stiffening up, his legs suddenly growing rigid.

"If you lost Flutter...."

"What if... I'm next?"

Confronted with his own mortality in a few brief words, Flutterpetal sat stunned. Adderdawn had already lost so much when Goldenpaw died. The whole Clan had lost enough. Hawkheart's death had only added insult to injury, and more pain to Coyotegrin, Daisybreeze and his newly acquired apprentice Snowpaw. He didn't want there to be any more death. He didn't want there to be death at all. He didn't want any more fangs sinking into throats, any more screams in camp, any more blood dripping into the loamy soil of the moors. He didn't want to die. He didn't want to hurt anyone. He didn't want to die. He thought that if maybe he just lived the best life he could, he could make his friends happy. He didn't want to hurt anyone.... He didn't want to die. He didn't want to hurt Adder. His brother.

Flutterpetal's mouth was dry again. He didn't know what there was to say, and if there was something, he couldn't say it. The words were gone. His face was blank, and his paws were frozen again. However, he did feel his tail entwining more fiercely with Adder's. I don't want to hurt you. I don't want to hurt Daisybreeze. I don't want to hurt anyone.

Daisybreeze's heart sank. She hadn't meant to upset him with her comment. She only wanted them to understand what she was going through because it felt like no one understood her.

And why should they understand her?? she didnt even understand herself of why she snapped when she did and made such an aweful mistake.

Her tail drooped to the ground and her head hung low. "adder... im sorry ... I didnt mean it like that" she said quietly. She knew it would fall on deaf ears but she had to try.


[color:d86e=#goldenrod]"Leave. Go away from us, now, or I will. I refuse to look at you for another second."

She felt terrible, there was nothing more she could do. Flutter had agreed to at least try and salvage what they could of their friendship... for now that is what she would have to take. Maybe over time she could at least have adder be willing to look at her but for now he was ... disgusted by her even existence.

She squeezed her eyes shut so frustrated at herself for allowing this to happen.

"ok... ill leave she said quietly. She got up and walked away, doing what he asked. She could barely keep herself together feeling her whole body shake from nerves as she left them as she went to leave out of camp.