Do You See Me Now? [Open]

The first thing that Roseburn noticed was pain. Her sides were a little sore, but it was her jaw. It hurt. Like, really hurt.

This would be the second time she woke up in the medicine den after an injury. At least this time, she noted, she was in her own camp. Although the den was certainly a work in progress, it was definitely something.

And that was the second thing Roseburn noticed. Unlike in ThunderClan, there was no cat standing guard over her. Part of Roseburn was actually disappointed by that. No, more than just part of her. At least in having a guard, some cat had cared enough to watch over her. See she was safe, see the exact moment she woke up.

And now she was alone.

Unlike the last time, there was no confusion that came with waking. She knew very well what had happened to her. Vividly. It still terrified her, how close she had been to death. It was weird, how she had gone from that, to only worrying about this headache of hers. Such a mundane thing to care about, but darn this thing hurt! Did Fuzzybelly have anything to help something this bad?

Note: Roseburn does not know how bad her injuries are. In the fight with the badger, her jaw was badly messed up when her head was slammed to the ground. It is now very deformed, and yes, it is very noticeable. Take this information how you will :)

Despite what roseburn thought, Swiftheart had been hovering over her sister a lot while she was passed out ever since she had been brought back home by nightstar.

It was just a very small window when swiftheart had gone to check up on her kits that roseburn had awoken unfortunately. To make matters worse the kits were keeping her quite busy so roseburn was left alone with these negative thoughts for a bit.


After a bit she returned to check up on her very wounded sister. As she went in she was expecting to see roseburn passed out like she had been for this whole time. To her suprise and joy however, rose was awake!

Purring she went to her sisters side rose, … I’m so glad you are awake and alright she purred softly… hmm alright was maybe not correct as she glanced at her very crooked and misaligned jaw but to be honest she was just glad her sister was alive after that badger battle.

“Is there anything I can get for you? she asked quietly… her jaw looked pretty sore so she doubted she would want to eat anything but it was worth asking perhaps.

Maybe Roseburn should have at least expected Swiftheart to show up. But then, she was always so busy with her kits.

Still, her sister may have been the only cat left that actually cared about her.

But something still didn't feel right. Swiftheart kept glancing down. Towards her jaw. The jaw that felt like it was on fire. The jaw that was sending a splitting headache all through her skull. But because of that pain, it was also hard to move her lips to talk. She would have to keep it still while she formulated her words if she wanted to save herself from any more agony. That much was clear.

"Sif-thar, wuh is wrong ith ny jaw. Ih hurs. Ih hurs so nuch."

She almost wanted to take the words back once they left her mouth. She was so scared of what the answer would be. But she needed to know. She had to know if she would be okay.

Swiftheart looked down at her paws trying to figure out how to say this. She sat there silently for a little bit. She sighed and looked to her sister with a caring look. “Umm you got hit pretty hard … I think it would be best for fuzzybelly to give you his opinion . But for right now it is a bit… skewed she spoke very slowly and calmly in hopes to not send rose into any shock or worry. I am not suprised it hurts she meowed sympathetically. She rested her tail on her sisters shoulder.

Swiftheart was glad that she had found the fight going on before it had gotten worse and she had not been pleased with nightstar waiting too long to intervene as he had been supervising it all. She had not even been on the support supervision and it was by pure chance and luck that she had been around to prevent further damage. She kept this to herself completely though.

I’m sorry it’s so sore … maybe with some time? she wondered if that was true though, she was no med cat but even as optimistic as she was it did not look like something that would heal quickly or at all.

Swiftheart always tried to look on the bright side but for now that just meant being happy her sister was still breathing.

Hmm but how would she eat anything while this healed? She frowned a bit thinking about how painful munching on a lizard would be with a jaw that looked like that… and she would need to eat if she wanted to recover . Hmm one thing at a time perhaps. She stayed by her sister doing her best to comfort her but doubted her presence was doing anything of the sort.

Skewed.

No amount of calmness could prevent the panic that washed over her then. What did she mean her jaw was skewed? What was Swiftheart not telling her?

With a grunt of effort, Roseburn shook her sister off of her. Her sides protested in pain, but it was just soreness there. Her jaw was much more than just sore. Something was very wrong, something Swiftheart was not fully telling her. And if she couldn't get her to tell her, she would find a puddle and find out herself.

One paw step at a time. Roseburn would see the truth.

Nightstar didn't want to go into the medicine cat den.

But not because he didn't want to face confrontation that would at some point inevitably follow, as it always did with him. He supposed that maybe he should put off visiting Roseburn, sure that his mere existence would stress her out. She didn't need him right now, especially when he didn't even know what he would do if he saw her, would he be mad and scold her? He felt numb now, confused and uncertain, his sister got seriously hurt because she was a reckless mouse-brain, but he also didn't set any limits. He was a mouse-brain for trusting so much in her and her clan-mates to not do anything insane.

Nightstar sucked in a breath and stepped in, just as Swiftheart tried to tell Roseburn what her jaw looked like, and Roseburn was trying to crawl out. He stood firm, as he looked down at Roseburn, then to Swiftheart, and back again. He supposed that she wanted to know what she looked like, "You've broken your jaw. It doesn't connect with your top jaw anymore and hangs out, and some of your teeth are chipped. You've been effectively disfigured, and you may need to relearn how to eat, drink, and speak. On top of that, you've gotten broken ribs, at least that is what we assume." He'll tell it how it is, she deserved that much, even if it wasn't what she needed to hear.

He nudged his sister gently back to her nest. "I don't know what you were thinking, going after a badger. If it was to spite me, great foxing job. If it was out of something to prove? You had nothing to prove. And I don't know how to explain to you that you don't have anything to prove, that you are not worth anything because you're not strong." He sighed, regret and worry bubbling in his belly. "I love you, and it hurts me to see that you have done this because of something I must have done. And it hurts me to know that you are so quick to spite, and temper, in response to my flaws and weaknesses. I hope that, at some point, you will be able to tell me what you want me to do. I've not been a good brother to you, and I know and realize that family has fallen to the wayside as I've taken up Froststar's mantle, but I'm trying to put time aside for family. I've given more social responsibilities to Leopardsun, and I've put together a council to help with making decisions that would take much longer to delegate. I know it's not much, but I'm doing what I can, but you aren't meeting me halfway, Roseburn, you need to do that. I cannot do these things and be a better brother when they are so one-sided. But you also need to understand, that I am Shadowclans leader, that I have a lot more to deal with than I used to. I'm not trying to lecture you, though I undoubtedly am, I'm just trying to reach an understanding on both of our parts. I need you to tell me what's going on, in a way that I can understand."

"I love you. I'd be devastated if you died, but I am equally devastated that you even got this hurt. But if you don't understand what I've been trying to say, Swiftheart can explain it to you. Her kits can follow me around camp if you want privacy to talk. But know that I'd face down hundreds of badgers, foxes, and anything else for you. Even if it cost me all my lives." If this didn't salvage this relationship, he didn't know what would. But there was a limit where he would have to call it quits himself no matter if it didn't work. He was Shadowclans leader. He wanted to be there for his sisters and brother, but there was only so much energy and time that he had to expend, and perhaps, he should just let sleeping foxes lie, and if Roseburn didn't want anything to do with him, then that was that. They would be done until Roseburn stopped being emotionally stunted, and learned to speak his language as he tried desperately to speak hers. And perhaps, it would be easier for the both of them if they cut their brotherly and sisterly ties until another time, or never at all, it'd save them both the pain when one eventually passed on.

But he'd wait for her response. He was sure it'd be filled with vitriol and hate. He already felt defeated, that he knew the answer would be a negative one.

Swifthearts ears laid flat against her head when she heard their older brother and leader approaching as roseburn had been trying to get out to a reflection to see her broken jaw.  She flinched a bit at the bluntness that her brother so often had.  He told her exactly the truth, her jaw was destroyed but there was no prepping for it, just laid out for her to digest that knot of truth and bitterness.  If swifthearts comments had startled and panicked rose like a bit of cold water to the face … well then this would be like a tidal wave.

Swiftheart cringed a bit at the bluntness of it… they were so opposites in how they approached things.  Although they were very close and the closest siblings in arguably the entire clan, his approach to this was not making swiftheart super happy at all.  She flicked her tail disapproving as he went into great detail about how her jaw was very messed up and her teeth chipped… ughh couldn’t he just let her rest and let fuzzybelly do the job of the med cat? The leadership was going to his head she thought a bit annoyed… this was like when loudnose had gotten hurt all over again but he had gotten even more coarse since then and more abbresive … it probably didn’t help that it was roseburn. Night and rose already had a strained relation and this would put it to the maximum strain.


Then he began lecturing rose again asking what she was thinking.  Swiftheart couldn’t believe her ears… he was the one that whose idea this whole predator right of passage was in the first place! AND he was the one who was supposed to keep an eye on her.  Swiftheart didn’t even know it was happening till it was too late.

She gave a very annoyed glance to her brother as if to tell him silently to lay off a bit.  However, then something happened that she did not expect at all.  

Her brother who was one of the more reserved cats that she knew and defenetly one not very emotional like herself gave very long emotional speech about how much he cared for her and what rose meant to him.  She stood there stunned.  It was her turn for jaw to drop but hers was in surprise that nightstar had said all that.  Wow… that was a lot to take in.  She blinked several times not even sure what she fealt about all of it.  She was still upset that the fight had not been stopped sooner but she knew that nightstar would indeed give every single one of his lives to defend roseburn, his clan or anyone of his family.  

She sat in silence for a bit.  The next couple moments would probably decide if her siblings relation would ever be salvageable again or not.  She hoped she could find the right words to give it the nudge it needed to have them at least begin the path to a recovery.

Well that was rather… blunt she finally said looking at night star but he’s right .  I know night and he does care about you so much rose.  He truly would do anything for you. she said softly.  And I would too if it came down to it, I would have given it all to get you away from that badger.  We both care for you so much looking to her paws she thought about how little time she and night had collectively had to try and watch out for their little siblings, between her being a full time warrior and queen and rebuilding camp and nights leadership … echo, hare and rose didn’t get alot of time which they should have.  This paired with the loss of murkystar when rose was just a kit, and the recent passing of mistyfalcon… it was getting a little easier to see roseburn perspective .

Roseburn flinched as Nightstalker stood in her way. At least he didn't leave her questioning what had happened, but he definitely didn't sugarcoat it either. The calico slumped down, trying to process the information that had effectively been dumped on her.

And then the flood gates opened.

She couldn't try to be strong anymore. She couldn't hide her pain. It was all so much.

"I-I sowwy... I didn nean sor this to hatten. I just lanted you to notice ne. I was scared of deing alone. And I ruined etherything again. I alays ness etherything ut!"

She probably looked like a mess right now too, an absolute sobbing mess. She couldn't even hide without risking hurting her jaws more. She just sat there, crying, her sides painfully heaving with the effort.

And honestly? It didn't help when Nightstalker told her he loved her. Those words she had been wanting to hear so badly.

She barely even heard her sister as she spoke, not that the words would have changed much. She just felt so defeated. All of her efforts, and it was for nothing.

The worst part? She had a sinking feeling that the moment this was all over, things would go back to how it was. Swiftheart would go back to her family, Nightstalker would be a leader again. Just as it always was.

"Duskflight is correct. But let's maybe put a pause on this conversation. Not that I don't want to have it, because I'd like to clear all this up, but I don't want you hurting yourself more. You must be very sore. I'm sure Fuzzybelly will have something for you, and when you've healed, we can get talk. I'll make time for you for this to happen, I promise. I'll be here for you." Nightstar leaned over and gently nuzzled Roseburns cheek, careful not to be too firm and watching her muzzle before he gently directed her back to her nest.

"It will take some time, but we will get something to work. Like you could join Frostednight and I for breakfast once a week, or whenever you're better, you could join Sablepaw and I for our training session. Or help Swiftheart with her kits. But for now? Just focus on healing, and I'll do my best to visit." Nightstar meowed, fluffing up her nest a bit before beckoning her to settle down.

Hearing that a clanmate was injured was never easy, and as Harechaser forced her paws toward the medicine den, she reflected that it was even less so when it was family. She'd hardly spoken at all to Roseburn in moons, yet the news had made her fur stand on end and her heart skip a beat. She was rude and obnoxious but... Roseburn was still family.

And maybe it was time to get over herself. Not knowing the extent of the injuries beyond "badly," Harechaser hesitated for a second. It seemed she was far from the first Shadowclanner to arrive in the medicine den, and she could already hear conversation from within. Perhaps it would be better to leave and come back later.

What if there wasn't a later? Mistyfalcon had died and she'd never gotten the chance to say goodbye, and for all Roseburn's fault... Harechaser shook her heard, and forced her paws forward. The thin Shadowclanner clung to the edges of the den, uncertainty flickering within her mismatched gaze as Nightstar's words became clearer. But it wasn't only that that gave her pause. Roseburn looked... Well, her jaw had to hurt something awful, even Harechaser's untrained gaze could see it was wrong. Positioned in a way that wasn't at all natural.

Nightstar wasn't the only one speaking, and, ears catching up with what Duskflight and her brother had said, Harechaser suppressed a wince.

Perhaps she should've come to talk sooner. Perhaps she should leave and come back later after all - no, that wasn't right. Part of this didn't feel like her conversation to interrupt but...

What had Harechaser been afraid of anyways, getting yelled at? Made fun of? While her own littermate had... "Snakedung." She muttered in halting, soft tones, "Roseburn I- I'm sorry." Guilt prickled beneath her fur.

She had no foxing clue what to even say.

Swiftheart felt terrible as Roseburn explained through her broken jaw how she had felt and how she just wanted others to notice and feel proud of her. She looked sympetetically to her sister as she explained, it was very hard to understand the words with the jaw being so misalligned but the gist was enough to sorta understand what all she meant. Rose began to cry and Swiftheart gently rested her tail on her sisters should trying to reassure her.

Swiftheart was glad that her mate Duskflight and her other sister Harechaser were here to also try and support the younger warrior during this difficult time.

She didnt know exactly how to respond to all this. Nightstar was leading her back to her nest which was a good idea, rest and time would do the most good and hopefully fuzzybelly's expertise would be able to help get Rose going again.

As she went over to her nest, Swiftheart worried that if talking and just moving was painful for her jaw what eating would do to it... Perhaps Roseburn would have to live off of traveling herbs for some amount of time since they were easier to eat?? Well only fuzzybelly could know for sure but as it was right now, she worried that her sister would refuse to eat unless they came up with a quick solution to fix her jaw

Roseburn choked down her sobs, trying to get a grip on herself. So many times she had tried to hold in her tears, to show how strong she was, and here she was absolutely falling apart.

She never fought when Nightstar led her back to her nest. She had no more fight in her. She just slumped in her nest, lying down. Suddenly, she felt really tired. She mumbled something like "that will be nice" in response to what Nightstar had said, but she was going down. The poor thing was exhausted. She tried responding to everyone, but her words were becoming jumbled and incoherent with her exhaustion.

She was asleep again before she even knew it.