saint bernard [C]

Stormdance

Stormdance had been attempting to nap, at one point. It was hard to focus on sleeping when his apprentice kept looking at him like that, snorting, and shifting all restlessly. Finally, Stormdance gave up on resting, sitting up all the way so he could join Rowanpaw in looking outside and enjoying the bit of sunlight. Then his whiskers twitched as Rowanpaw finally spoke.

He hummed, rising to his feet with effort. It made him wince, moving, and he was cautious as he wobbled his way over to sit beside Rowanpaw. “You could,” He commented, not quite looking at Rowanpaw yet. “Although, I think your aunt and sister would disapprove. Not to mention your mother. I think you’d be dragged back in by your ears rather quickly.” He gave an amused smile.

He’s quiet for a moment, then said, “I wouldn’t mind getting out either.” He admitted. “It’s frustrating being cooped up like this. Though I’m grateful that we’re both here and alright.” His ear flicked in his apprentice’s direction. He hadn’t actually spoken directly to Rowanpaw about what happened, though he had wanted to. He didn’t know how to bring the topic up with his surely apprentice, and he was afraid of making it worse. Again.

He hadn’t told Perchstar or Poppyshine about just how they encountered the fox. Why would he? As far as Stormdance is concerned, Rowanpaw had already been punished plenty. He just had to hope that the young tom had actually learned his lesson this time. Though, honestly, he would’ve much preferred Rowanpaw get in trouble with Perchstar and learn that way then… that. He didn’t want Rowanpaw to have to go through that. He still gets anxious sometimes, looking at Rowanpaw and remembering what he had looked like, sprawled out on the ground and covered in blood. He didn’t like thinking about it, and yet, he couldn’t stop.

Rowanpaw

 
The sound of shuffling movement came beside him, and Rowanpaw's eyes narrowed into hard slits at the sound of it. He kept his gaze steadily focused on the mouth of the den, not wanting to let his eyes settle on Stormdance's form beside him. Still, despite the quiet insistence playing in his head not to turn around, he found himself looking up when Stormdance began to speak. Somehow, his mentor had found it in him to smile as he talked. Rowanpaw's ears lowered in silent protest of any joy there might be in the situation. Petulance aside, there was unexpected camaraderie in Stormdance's mew. It made Rowanpaw shift, a little uncomfortable with his own misdirected frustration.

"Well, you cannot go anywhere," he countered eventually. The words came out heated, as he'd meant them, but there was the briefest flash of concern in his expression before Rowanpaw schooled it back into an agitated frown. "They are far more concerned for your health than my own. My leg is not broken." Rowanpaw's voice keyed upwards at the end of his sentence, higher-pitched and taut with emotion. In defiance of betraying anymore vulnerability than he already had, he bit his tongue and turned away once more with a sharp huff.

There was a moment there, where the ruffled apprentice refused to speak. He only stared past the entrance of the den, at the sun-warmed and inviting clearing, kept from him only by a heavy curtain of reed-stalk and sedge, and... Rowanpaw's nose wrinkled, his lips pulling back just slightly to reveal the points of his small teeth. Sometime between the hazy, red-stained vision of camp as Stormdance carried him home, and the more clear memories of opening his eyes in the medicine den, an uncomfortable and oppressive feeling bore down on him. There was not a cat in RiverClan he would extend himself enough to care about beyond his immediate family– offer them the protection of any Clanmate, sure, but to properly care? The thought alone was almost enough to make him shudder. And yet he had thrown himself into a fox's waiting maw on Stormdance's behalf, and now felt the cold and creeping weight of remorse pressed heavily into his chest.

Eventually, quietly, "You will notice that I am not actually leaving." He almost couldn't help it, the snipe that came with his words. "While I do not want to be here, I'm– I'm also grateful. That we are here." Rowanpaw cleared his throat, loud, as if the sound would cancel any further conversation. From the corner of his eye, he looked towards Stormdance, and whatever finality he'd tried to put forth was dashed away as more words spilled forth, unbidden. "I would not wish to hear you scream like that again. If ever I find myself cornered by another fox, or ten, do not rush to my aid. One only has so many legs. I'm sure you are aware of that by now." The underlying appreciation was wrapped well in the cover of irritation, but the shine of genuine emotion in the apprentice's eyes couldn't hide his feelings as easily as his pointed words.

Stormdance

Stormdance hummed, finally glancing at Rowanpaw out of the corner of his eye before turning his attention back to the entrance. It was true. Stormdance wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon. It tried the edges of even his patience, making him feel restless under his fur. What made his heart squeeze was the note of emotion in Rowanpaw’s voice.

It reminded him of the fight with the fox. ”Do not fight without me. Please.” He had never heard any emotion beyond anger, righteous indignation, and the rare bit of genuine excitement in Rowanpaw’s voice. To hear that note of desperate pain made Stormdance’s heart sit heavy in his chest, and told him that Rowanpaw was far more affected by all of this than he was letting on.

He looked towards Rowanpaw once more, catching the shine in his eyes, and resisted the urge to move closer. He suspected that any attempts at physically comforting the apprentice would only break the tentative bridge that had formed between the two thanks to their shared experience, and Stormdance would not see that balance tip again.

“Hm.” Stormdance finally spoke after letting the words settle for a moment. “Unfortunately, as much as I would like to not repeat this particular experience, if you did happen to be once more cornered by a fox… or ten. I would have no choice but to rush to your aid.” He shrugged. He said the words trying to match Rowanpaw’s light tone, but a second later, genuine emotion managed to filter into his words. “You are, after all, my apprentice, and my clanmate, and I care for you. And as long as I am capable, I would be a very poor warrior if I let you get hurt.” Stormdance hoped that Rowanpaw understood the underlying meaning. That no matter what he may face, Stormdance would be there to back him up.

Another brief pause, before Stormdance finally breached the topic he was most reluctant to address. But it had to be addressed, if either of them were going to move forward. “But I hope that neither I nor you encounter a situation like that again. And certainly not alone.” He side eyed Rowanpaw. “I have not spoken to Perchstar about what happened in-depth.” He said softly. “I’m hoping I won’t need to.” He finally looked fully to Rowanpaw, expression entreating. He didn’t really want to lecture Rowanpaw, not again. He was exhausted. He just wanted to know that Rowanpaw would stay safe. The thought of what could’ve happened had Stormdance not found Rowanpaw before the fox did made his stomach lurch and his paws tremble.

Rowanpaw

Rowanpaw did not miss the way the way Stormdance looked at him askance, or the way he seemed to be deliberating over something. Whatever it had been, it resulted in a little hum and more speaking. Despite his demands to the contrary, his mentor steadily assured him that should he find himself caught between the jaws of a fox again, he would be there to help. Rowanpaw shifted a little in his nest, uncomfortable, and bent his head downwards to glower at his own folded paws. He almost piped up to protest– I will not need your assistance then. I am plenty capable on my own. I am not asking, I am telling. –but he remained quiet. So, Stormdance was determined to stand beside him no matter what trouble he put himself through. He’d said that already, maybe, Rowanpaw had never really listened to him before; whether he had or hadn’t, Stormdance was saying it now. It made the apprentice feel a little odd, though warm. He decided it was just oncoming nausea, or agitation, or the incredibly rare beat of anxiety. He dared not think it was gratefulness, pleasure, or anything half so pleasant over being reassured.

And then there was the mention of Perchstar. The mention of her name alone made his head snap upwards, eyes narrowed, jaw half-parted and ready to dig into Stormdance for having the gall to tell her about their experience. But… he hadn’t. He hadn’t spoken to her about it, beyond the obvious: they’d been attacked by a fox. All of RiverClan had been attacked by foxes at this point; not many had gone out in search of their own death like he had. Stormdance was looking at him fully now, blue eyes soft and flooded with an emotion Rowanpaw couldn’t quite recognize. There was a slight tremble to the dark tom, too, and that made him feel a little chilled. He tried to will his muscles to relax, but he couldn’t quite do away with the stiffness. He remained rigid, holding Stormdance’s gaze until he felt overwhelmed by it and found himself looking down at his paws once more.

”You will not have to tell Perchstar a thing,” he grumbled, almost reluctantly. Really, this was probably the best outcome. They had both survived, and he would not be permanently demoted to a kit, forced to live out the rest of his life folded into some corner of the nursery. He was only upset that that was a consequence at all; that this had happened at all. Even if he’d had foresight, he would have done it. There wasn’t a fox lurking around every tree and clump of reeds, surely. He’d only gotten unlucky this time. Next time, he would be better prepared for such an incident.

But… something in him, and something in Stormdance’s shivering paws, told him there would be no next time. ”Perchstar would be quite alright to live a life of quiet ignorance to this particular situation, I would imagine.” If Perchstar didn’t know, did that mean Stormdance had neglected to tell Poppyshine as well? He hadn’t been given quite the thorough dressing down from her at least. Perhaps she was waiting until they were further recovered to tell him he’d been foolish for it. Or maybe her knowledge only ran to the extent that they had gotten unlucky enough to be caught by one of RiverClan’s many lurking predators. Hopefully, the latter; hopefully, that would never change. ”Yes, yes, Perchstar will not know, I will not go running off in search of foxes and badgers and so on, et cetera. I promise, or what-so-ever I am meant to say to appease you.” He meant it. Despite his snappishness, he really did mean it: he would give Perchstar no reason to suspect them, nor would he be so reckless as to wander off so far again without the proper company. Even if he had not initially wanted it, he would not squander the care that had been extended to him.

Stormdance

Moons worth of tension rushed out of Stormdance in an instant with a heaved sigh of relief. He closed his eyes. He could not stop or predict every danger that would come his apprentice's way. But knowing that Rowanpaw would not go seeking danger out again set Stormdance's mind at ease in a way that it had not been for a good long while. And he believed that Rowanpaw meant what he said. Rowanpaw was generally pretty honest about he felt about things...and whatever Rowanpaw claimed, he could tell that this whole experience had shaken the young tom. Stormdance desperately wished he had not had to learn this lesson the hard way, but a part of him was still grateful that the lesson was learned at all.

With a nod, Stormdance opened his eyes again. "Good to hear." He said softly, lowering himself down to lay down, tucking his paws under his chest and turning his attention back to the stars visible through the entrance. A silent prayer of thanks, for Rowanpaw's safety as well as his own, was given to Starclan as he examined what he could of the night sky.

"Once I'm back on my feet, I'll take you to work on a proper spar." He said softly. "You did good work with the fox. You have good instincts for fighting." Stormdance smiled a little.