Reminiscence [c]

Duskflight

Tonight was a darker night than most usual ones. The moonlight dimmed, clouds covering its shine. Duskflight lay in the middle of the camp. The atmosphere... blank. It was too quiet. He'd gotten used to, and accepted the fact that his friends weren't in StarClan. He'd moved on... Or so he assumed. Until.. Since Swiftheart's litter, those memories kept going back. To his kithood, his apprenticeship, all of them were shared with one cat he'd never forget.


He tried. And tried. And tried. All over again. Yet each time he saw the kits' faces — they all looked and reminded him so, so much of him. His ears began to flatten back, whiskers dropping. A mix of Swiftheart and Ratrunner, they were, yet Willowkit pained him to look at the most. They looked so alike. But the kit wasn't the kind of figure his dad was. Colder, more serious. It was almost as if his friend had learned from Burningwing in another version. But they were all growing up. And what pained him even more — each day, that meant having to remember him. Watch as they grew older.

Watched as they reached Ratrunner's age. Watching as perhaps one day, they'll surpass him. Laying quietly, he allowed himself to be vulnerable. To be vulnerable while no one was watching — while no one paid attention —

Crowpaw

Yellow eyes peered out from the apprentices' den as she watched a warrior rest in the middle of the camp. He seemed peaceful... Until his ears flattened. And he now seemed worried. "Oh no." Was all she thought before ducking to allow herself out from the den, approaching the tom. "Are you okay..?" She asked, frowning. His name was Duskflight, if she remembered correctly.

She hadn't had much of a chance to talk with most of the warriors around, though she took whatever chance available to her to do so. She couldn't stand watching someone clearly in distressing and ignoring them. That would be awful!

Duskflight

A pair of yellow eyes was what he noticed first. Then, it became clearer who this was. Crowpaw. One of Swiftheart's kits, one who bore her personality and attitude. She was curious like him, and just as lively as her. Ratrunner and Swiftheart. Blinking back his nearly shed tear, he rose, sitting up. "I'm alright. And you, what are you doing up so late, Crowpaw?" He spoke, his voice light on purpose. Perhaps it'd crack if he chatted any further. But the apprentice wanted to make sure, it seemed.

"..Actually, I'd be lying if I said I'm completely fine, however you define that." His head lowered. "Would you be up for a story, Crowpaw?" At her small nod of confirmation, he continued.

"Your father, Ratrunner, met me while he was still a kit. It was my first encounter with Loudnose and him." He began, eyes closing to reminisce back. "They were my first few friends. We made a promise to get to know each other more. And so, from then on, we hung out a lot." The tom smiled, softly. "Until.. Loudnose got into an accident. His leg was injured from a monster encounter at the Thunderpath. We were all worried, but fortunately, things got better. Only.. Only for a while, though."

"There was a time period. One just before when you and your siblings were born, Crowpaw, where StarClan had been kept from the Clans. StarClan was always around until that very time period. I've met them before. The Dark Forest arose from the undead. And during that process, Loudnose and Ratrunner, both of them... fell." His eyes filled with tears, his voice breaking, slowly. "Not just them, but many, many innocent lives had been taken from all Five Clans. Loudnose was the first to go. I was so caught off-guard, I didn't know what to do. But your father... Your mother was in danger by a wretched soul."

"I'll never forget her name. Her horrid name. Vixen'star'." His lips trembled. With fury, with devastation. "She killed your father. I mourned for moons. I still miss him, even now. And what aches even more... Is the simple realization that both his and Swiftheart's blood runs in you and your siblings, Crowpaw. That a part of him is in you."

Crowpaw

The more she listened to his story, the more her eyes widened, and the more she realized... She never knew so much at all. So much was out of her reach. So much she didn't know. The apprentice's head lowered, following along with Duskflight's. Quietly, she inched closer, frowning. She offered the warrior a lick on his shoulder. So much has happened to him... What about the other warriors? Did they all have such stories of their own, too?

"So this Vixenstar... She was the one to kill my father?" Crowpaw's voice lowered until all there was a whisper. She bit her inner lip. Her father... His life had been taken away so easily, just like that. It wasn't fair. He deserved to live more. To live on to help her mother, her siblings, Duskflight, and... her, herself. Loudnose, it was just as unfair to him, too. "I wish he was still here. But not just for me or my family, but for you too, Duskflight." She mewed, slowly.

"I'm not sure how it is with mom, but I'm sure she'll want you to be happy too. Ratrunner sounds courageous and kind. I'm glad my dad was like so. But he won't rest easy if you keep worrying about him, will he?" She offered a smile. "I'm also glad you shared your stories with me. Maybe, maybe sometimes when I'm older, and when I have cooler stories to tell.. I will, too, Duskflight!"

There was.. another thing she needed to say. "I know you see us in him every day. Dad sounds like he's really great, and though he inspires me... None of my siblings nor myself really 'is' him. I hope you see us like so." She purred. "I'll try my best to make him proud, though!"

Duskflight

All of this story telling reminded him of another memory — Honeypaw and himself, talking. Him doing most of it, surprisingly. The apprentice insisted for him to go on. But Crowpaw.. she held a slightly different feeling. She was positive. Much in the way Swiftheart was. She was able to see the positive in his story — to encourage him, to lighten up the mood, even when it felt so miserable. It was her last sentence, though, that hit him the hardest.

Of course. Of course, you're not him. But that's why each of you is so special. Returning the smile of hers by one of his own, Duskflight nodded. "Of course, Crowpaw. Thank you. And I'm sure he'll be proud. You're right."