So Tuesday I went into the ER from work for having a weird traveling, crushing ache. It started in my stomach, then I ate something thinking I was just really hungry, then the pain traveled to my left arm/heart area. I have cardiac issues, so I freaked out a little and left work to get it looked at. Sitting in the very busy ED room, it traveled to my back. My blood work and heart is actually entirely fine, but they found something on my pancreas. ER doc described it as a cyst, which most pancreatic cysts are benign, but there is a chance it could be malignant. I won't know for sure what it is for awhile. I see my primary doc on Monday and she will get me scheduled for an MRI to see if it is dangerous or not. Pancreatic cancer has a very very poor prognosis, so I am little freaked out. I do take comfort in the fact that I meet no risk factors for it (not obese, not diabetic, don't drink heavily, don't smoke, younger than 45) and the average age of someone being diagnosed with pancreatic cancer is 72, but there is always that little bit of chance that has me worried. I am mostly remaining optimistic but every now and then the "what if" comes crashing into my mind and my mental state takes a nose dive. I have had very little motivation to do more than just sleep, shower then go to work, maybe a eat a little bit here and there, so my activity here and posts have suffered. I will try to post this weekend, likely Sunday. I can't promise my posts will be very good until I get this thing looked at.

My mom is a nurse and she doesn't seem too too worried, but... she is a nurse. She has almost 15 years of experience keeping her emotions hidden if something is bad to keep patients from stressing out. She is convinced I have gallstones, since they're not particularly painful on their own and I wouldn't know I had them until one moved. Gallstones can cause pancreatitis which can lead to pancreatic cysts. The ER didn't say anything to me about my gallbladder, but they were so overwhelmed when I got there that I was actually having to use my own healthcare training to calm them down. There were a lot of med errors that night, even so far as not labeling a urine sample cup that was mine and I had to see it again to verify that it was mine. Healthcare workers are so burnt out it's actually dangerous for them to be working, but as all adults know, Crack goes the whip. You have no choice but to show up and work yourself into the dirt. So who knows. Anyway I will keep everyone posted. If you need something done urgently let me know in discord or in private messages here. I'll get to it when I can.