Hailpaw's Moonstone Journey

With Hailpaw ready to take the final steps towards becoming a warrior, Muddythorn prepared yet another set of herbs, each bundle dwindling every time a new one was made. Even when he braved the cold to search for herbs, he was lucky to find anything, let alone anything he particularly needed. A few dried stores remained, so long as Skyclan avoided too many major injuries and sickness, he might be able to pull through. His nose was numb in the cold early morning as he padded into the apprentice den, searching for a pure white pelt.

"Hailpaw, it's time to go." He said quietly, nudging the young tom awake. "Your herbs are outside, then we can set off."

---

The path up to Highstones was icy in places, but there was a clear enough trail they could get up. It was still freezing cold, but at least it had stayed dry the whole time, the mud beneath his paws frozen solid in most areas. Outside the cavern, he gave his usual brief explanation too Hailpaw. "Okay, follow my lead through the tunnels, it gets quite dark so be sure not to lose me. When you reach the moonstone, lay down beside. You will soon fall asleep and meet with Starclan." He took the first few paw steps, easily finding the path after many visits, before double checking his companion was following.

Hailpaw blinked awake at Muddythorn's gentle voice, nodding sleepily as he absorbed their words. "Mhmm..." he hummed, "Just give me a minute."

He took his time waking up, grooming, and picking out perfect decorations for his pelt. He was seeing a Starclan cat after all, he wanted to impress them if he could. He decided on his reliable bluejay feathers, making sure no hair was out of place before making his way out of the den. Just outside laid a bundle of herbs.

Hailpaw wrinkled his nose before he even crouched down before them. He had heard stories of how distasteful they were, but he didn't want to delay anyone either. So, begrudgingly, he licked them up. He swore they stole the moisture out of his mouth, the bitterness sticking to his tongue even after he struggled to swallow them down. "Eck! Cats weren't kidding about these!" He whined, putting on a dramatic display of wiping his tongue before his attention was redirected back to the journey.

He still wasn't quite used to the snow and cold. It wasn't going anywhere, the leaf-bare season having sunk its claws into the land. He kept himself from complaining though, instead paying attention to his surroundings to make sure he remained stable.

When they reached the mouth of the cave, he followed directions, never straying more than a tail-length away from the older cat until finally, they came upon the stone. More beautiful than any decoration he had ever seen. It glowed and shimmered like fish scales, a magnificent blinding white. He almost wondered if he could take a piece off and take it with him, but quickly dismissed the infant thought ad sacrilegious. No way would Muddythorn appreciate damage to such a sacred object. Besides, the white would blend into his already pale pelt too much.

He hesitated for only a moment before remembering his instructions, pressing his nose to the stone and allowing himself to get comfortable on the rocky floor.

***

Sleep took him easily, and when his eyes fluttered open once more, he was no longer within the cavern. A Stary landscape had surrounded him, in much more detail than his home territory. It was like he was seeing each individual astral leaf up close, despite them being high above his head. Or, perhaps his vision was just no longer blurry. "Beautiful..." He gawked, pushing himself up into a sit to admire his surroundings. "Almost as stunning as me." He added quietly to himself, chuckling at his own quip.

Many moons have passed since Burningwolf had engaged with the world. Many, many moons. The cats she had lived with slowly died one by one, and soon, the forest was nothing she recognized. Her attendance at StarClan greetings was limited. Sandshrew. Finchstar. Sandblaze... and Lightfang. Lightfang was the only cat she demanded to be upfront and center, joined by their kit. After that, Burningwolf recited back to seclusion, choosing to 'raise' her kit in peace. She was Flickerflame now. The name meant little besides an honorary title. But the moons dragged on and Burningwolf was... Getting bored. Slowly, the orange and disfigured cat - once beautiful - rejoined the ranks of StarClan.

So here she was. About to meet a SkyClan apprentice. Her thoughts were torn in the manner, to be honest. To this day, she considered herself a WindClan warrior - the clan she had given her kit, her beauty, and ultimately her life for.

But she fought too hard for her birth clan to turn her back on it, especially now that Tinystar was no more and she was content with Bloodstar's leadership.

Hailpaw stood in front of her, facing the other way. He glanced around, then commented about his own beauty. Hmmph.

"Beauty fades, you know." She sad firmly, yet with a tone of understanding. She padded forward, circling the apprentice and standing in front of him, allowing him to take in her looks; tattered ears, a torn face, scars riddling her body, a missing tail tip... with blazing green and orange eyes. She raised her head, meeting his gaze. "I was beautiful once too. Named Burningsun originally. I was a flame in SkyClan. A spark. But do you see me now? Would you be ashamed to look like me?" Her eyes trailed over Hailpaw's feathers and his perfect fur. It was one thing to look good, but she had not seen these levels before. Patiently, Burningwolf waited for her answer from the warrior to-be.

A new voice startled him, twisting his head only to be met with a patchwork mess of a cat. He couldn't name a place that didn't look to have a chunk missing from it. They looked just as torn up as Beechfang, an achievement he didn't think was possible. Apparently, such destruction wasn't as rare as he thought...

When came a question he didn't want to answer. Yes, he wouldn't be able to stand himself if he looked like that. Especially since he could see the remnants of what could have been a truly beautiful cat underneath the scars. Unique eyes, a stunning shade to her pelt, all ruined by the maiming she had received.

"Every cat is beautiful in their own way, you know? No one should be ashamed of their appearance." He started, trying to dance around the question, but it just felt so disingenuous. He sounded so cliche and it was such an obvious lie... Maybe being honest to the dead cat would be more beneficial. They were omniscient or something, weren't they? How else did they know about prophecies?

"I'm sorry, let me start over. I... wouldn't be proud to wear your pelt... I take great pride in my appearance and decorations can only do so much. But it shouldn't be a bad thing to be aware of how other cats perceive you. It's not like acknowledging your beauty will take a bite out of your ear or someone else's."

Burningwolf snorted. This apprentice was really making her reconsider her decision to rejoin the forest. But alas, she must continue on. It had taken moons and moons of healing the broken part of her heart that came when she became disfigured. Moons of love and assurance from Lightfang. "That's sad then, Hailpaw." She retorted stubborly, flicking what remained from her tail. "I lost my beauty defending my clan. I fought off dogs and saved many. If your beauty prevents you from going the lengths for your clan, no matter what it costs, you will never be a truly strong and loyal warrior." Images of the dog's fangs ripping into her caused a look of pain across her face. She would do it again, though. Who knows what would have happened? "What I'm saying Hailpaw, is that your obsession for beauty is getting in the way of you being the strongest warrior you can be. What happens if one day, you're faced with my choice? Defend and save your clan, but become a monster? Or flee and keep your beauty. Which would you choose?" The starry warrior's pelt began to ripple, a sign that their time was coming to an end. She began to walk past the apprentice, but hesitated and paused at his flank. Looking behind her shoulders, her eyes softened. "Do you have any more questions for me, Hailpaw? This is your last moment to ask. My kit and mate are waiting." She had to admit, seeing SkyClan's youth was tugging on her heartstrings.

Hailpaw seemed to shrink at her words. He couldn't see himself anywhere else than Skyclan. being a coward and fleeing the home of his friends and loved ones was a none option... but he had nearly done it once. He had specifically signed up to defend his clan from predators and he had nearly ran when the challenge proved to be more than suspected. He had been worried for his life, but also his pelt. A dog's teeth could do so much damage, the fear of pain made him freeze and doubt when two of his clanmates were being ravaged by them... Becoming monstrous, perhaps worse than Beechfang and this cat combined, was a terrifying thought. But what if Driftpaw had been in those jaws? Or Primroselight? Surely he could give up his face to save them, right? He wasn't that much of a coward...

He bit his lip, shuffling uncomfortably when he was reminded of their limited time together. "Then how do I be brave enough to do it? It's simple to be pretty and admired... but that looked like it hurt so much." He glanced pointedly at her scars. He couldn't imagine going through that, or losing half his face like Beechfang. The pain after the initial fight... and then looking at himself in puddles for the rest of his life and knowing that's what other cats saw too. "I get it, you gotta get over it to protect the ones you care about, but it's not that simple... right?"

Her words were finally sinking in, and the discomfort was plain in his body posture... Good. Though, she did feel bad to horrify the kit. But his voice softened as he gazed over her pelt. As he mentioned how much it hurt... It brought a wave of memories of laying in the medicine den, the pain wracking her over and over again despite the poppy seeds. The ripping of her flesh. Looking up, and being gifted another chance by StarClan... Burningwolf hesitated before answering the apprentice, mulling over the right words to say. These words could perhaps change this entire apprentice's outlook on life as a warrior. Her thoughts turned to the scariest moment in her life. Standing above Tinystar, about to take a life from him. Her jaws around his throat. Her pelt, her beauty, it wasn't in the balance then but it was a lot scarier than facing the dog. "You let go of what other cats think about you. You mentioned caring about how other cats perceive you... It doesn't matter if they find you beautiful. The second you stop caring about how others view you, the second you have the ability to stand up for what's right." She sighed, picking at a blade of grass with her claw. "It took many moons for me to get over the loss of my appearance. But do you know the real kicker? Nobody cared, Hailpaw. Not a single soul thought of me as lesser than. All they saw was what I gave up for my clan. That's why they renamed me Burningwolf. Because bravery matters more than beauty. If you take nothing from this, I plead you that you take that. Bravery and morals above beauty- beauty in every sense of the word." The last part was said without looking at Hailpaw, and she began to walk off, back into the stars. Her pelt faded slowly, but she paused to say one last final piece of advice. "There's no greater pain in this world than disappointing yourself." With that, Burningwolf's pelt faded into darkness, blending in with the scenery around her.

Hailpaw quietly absorbed her words. It was a lot to take in. No one cared when she lost her beauty... so did no one care that he had his? He put so much effort into it, he couldn't just drop it now, could he? He had decorated himself since he was a kit, relished the compliment and attention it had gotten him. Even if it didn't matter, could he really just... stop?

He couldn't cut himself off from it, it was impossible to think about. He felt so vulnerable without his adornments. He supposed that was another issue, but that could wait for another day. For now, maybe he could care a little less about what others thought. When the rare cat made fun of his flowers and feathers, he could ignore them without making his usual fuss... maybe... He would have to work on it.

By time he had the mind to respond, the she-cat was gone and he was alone. Slowly, the stars started to leave him too until, a blink later, he was back in the moonstone's cavern.