Ratpaw's Moonstone Journey

Frostgaze went about an early morning routine he was growing accustomed to. He woke up before the sun went down, groomed his fur, ensured the herb bundles were created before he went to get the apprentice. Routine was nice, but he feared that he would be distracted from his own duties if this kept up. As much as he hated to admit it, the deputy was becoming a bit exhausted with all these long trips, though if he was exhausted, Basilbloom would have been completely floored by the workload. He was more than able to take that from her, but sooner or later they would have to work out a more equitable compromise... at least unless she wanted to start planning patrols while he was away. Padding into the Apprentice's Den, he found the dark form of the sleeping Ratpaw and prodded him awake, quietly saying, "Ratpaw, it is time for your Moonstone, meet me at the entrance to camp." So he left, padding back to the entrance and eating the now more familiar herbs, with their bitter taste in tow. Soon Ratpaw would get to experience it, and likely hate it as much as every other cat in existence did.

Ratpaw woke with a start, and saw an unusual form above him — Frostgaze?

With a blink of yellow eyes, and the deputy’s quiet words, he remembered: His moonstone. It was early yet, but Ratpaw was beyond the point it bothered him. Maybe Webshadow did not mind letting him sleep in leaf-fall, but over time, necessity had dictated otherwise.

Relatively soon after, Ratpaw slipped out of his den, moving to join Frostgaze by the entrance to camp. Only a little yawn escaped him.

The tom had a presence… not unlike Ratpaw’s own mentor, he thought. If perhaps more intense, but maybe you expected that from your deputy — and Ratpaw hardly spoke to him, beyond greetings, so it was possible he didn’t know.

For this evening’s, he dipped his head. “Thank you for waking me.”

Beside Frostgaze lay a small bundle of herbs, and after a small glance at his mentor for the night, he understood. For the long journey. His mother had spoken of it the previous evening, as if warning him — but then smiled and shook her head fondly. (Which... again, was confusing. But Ratpaw had given up on his mother making sense.) With a paw, he gently brought the leaves and bits of bud and flower closer.

After a moment’s study, he sniffed them. They were slightly wet from the snow, but were still fragrant. He glanced at Frostgaze. It didn’t seem like there was an order to them, so Ratpaw gingerly took the leaf between his teeth and chewed.

”Oh.” After a bite, Ratpaw paused. It made his mouth feel dry, like sand, and had a bitter flavor. Much like tree bark. But… also a tang of sour, too. Not like marshgrass. ”Interesting,” he mumbled. It lingered even after he swallowed.

The others, he found, had much milder flavor — much more like marshgrass, or the tiny leaves in his den. It cleared the earlier taste — thankfully. A few laps at the snow for moisture and Ratpaw felt more awake, and ready. That wasn’t so bad.

Certainly better than some things he’d tasted.

With that done, he turned to Frostgaze — much as if he were Webshadow, and he was waiting for the tom to guide them.

"I am glad the herbs didn't seem to give you much trouble. Come, let us go." A flick of his tail signalled to the younger tom to follow, and Frostgaze began leading him out of camp, and into Shadowclan territory. Frostgaze was not a talkative cat, however, this was Webshadow's apprentice. What better way to know his friend than to know the one he had been training? There wasn't much logic to it, but there wasn't much logic to his friendship with Webshadow either.

"So Ratpaw, how has your training been going? I am sure that Webshadow has been a suitable mentor?" Frostgaze piped up after a time, mud and ice caking his paws, and turning them a murky brown-gray. "Oh, and if you have any questions for me as we travel, I am more than able to answer them. This is a suitable time." It was always awkward with an apprentice that he didn't know well. The deputy needed to know his peers better though, and leading them on their Moonstones was one of the best ways to do so. The future warriors of the clan would know him, and trust him. At least, Frostgaze assumed they would.

Ratpaw followed with a nod, and they exited quietly, one after the other. Frostgaze’s fur had always seemed stark, against the marsh and in the night. But here in the snow, watching him, the tom’s coloring was much more subtle; it was Ratpaw who stood out, as he had been adjusting to since the last heavy snowfall. But… in some ways, it wasn’t the worst thing. The world was very beautiful painted in snow, and Ratpaw felt much more present in it.

Like he was very much there.

Pulled from his thoughts, Ratpaw gave the warrior a small smile. “It’s going well, thank you. Webshadow is a good mentor.” As he deftly avoided an area of deep snow, the apprentice thought of his mentor, the last time they were out together, and added, ”He says that I should be a warrior soon, if all goes well.”

Even as he said the words, they felt far away. But he’d… had more time to get used to the idea of it.

The kit in him, who looked up at Murkystar with such awe and hid in brambles, still didn’t quite believe it. But Ratpaw felt… steadier, and his ease and comfort in the marsh had grown. Is that what made Ratpaw ready?

Perhaps only his mentor knew. And with that, he remembered: something Webshadow had spoken of, briefly, as if in the midst of quiet regret.

”There is something I would like to know.” It felt bold, but. Ratpaw was going to be a warrior, it seemed, and this previous molly who walked in his footsteps… she never got to be. ”Frostgaze, did you know Pantherpaw?”

He clarified, going on, ”Webshadow’s first apprentice. He said… she was smart, like me, but she never received her warrior name.” Ratpaw looked down, then. ”Do you know what happened to her?”

Frostgaze was pleased that Ratpaw's apprenticeship had gone along so smoothly, though of course it would with Webshadow at the helm. He was brought from his thoughts when the apprentice asked about Pantherpaw. Poor Pantherpaw. One of the grisliest things the deputy had seen to date. "I did know her. I interacted with her when I was a kit, nearly an apprentice myself. Webshadow was a fairly new warrior at that point. She had a sister, Cheetahdawn. I am unsure of what happened to her, but here's what happened to Pantherpaw. She died on a patrol with her sister. Cheetahdawn, out of grief and pain, wished to keep her sister near her forever. After Pantherpaw's demise, Cheetahdawn skinned her, and wore her pelt back to camp. I believe I was the first to see it in fact... this was a long time ago, however. I am sure Webshadow did not want to tell you this to bring up old pain, and I am sure he did not wish to scare you either." The tom's words drifted off into silence, leaving the apprentice with his thoughts.

He lead them both under the Thunderpath, dirt shaking onto his pelt, snow having weaved its way into the secret tunnel. It did not take long for Frostgaze to weave his way through, emerging on the other side with the noises of monsters still ringing in his ears. "We'll be getting to the Moonstone soon. Do you have any more questions for me before we get there?" The white tom trotted along on short legs, having to make his way like an icebreaker through some snowdrifts. He was nearly invisible this time of year.

Ratpaw almost stilled entirely as Frostgaze spoke. It… Pantherpaw was… skinned? Her sister—?

After a brief, shocked silence, Ratpaw rushed forward, closing the several moments’ distance to continue beside their deputy. He… had not been expecting that. There was a tinge of sadness in the older tom’s words, and Ratpaw… couldn’t imagine.

Cheetahdawn. And yet Ratpaw didn’t know of her, either. So many cats…

”I… Thank you, for telling me,” Ratpaw mewed, following the white warrior into the tunnel beneath the Thunderpath. It rumbled above him, shaking as if under some terrible weight, but they emerged safely, without incident. The scent — normally something that would interest him, in spite of its acrid, burning nature — felt at the back of his mind. Even the glimpse of monsters.

A bit dazed and in thought, Ratpaw seemed to lose his deputy for a moment — the white of his pelt lost among the snowdrifts. But his sharp eyes caught movement, heard Frostgaze’s voice, and his attention snapped back to the older tom.

Did he have any more questions? Yes. Like why would she possibly—? To her sister... But… and he thought of the answer he just received… and mewed, delicately, ”I think I’m okay on questions for now.”

Ratpaw’s mother had once told him to be careful of the questions he asked, because he might not like the answers. Ratpaw did not regret it, precisely. Or at all.

But it was something to think about it.

The pair padded along in silence, Frostgaze leading the apprentice over the frozen terrain. The start of an uphill climb signaled their proximity to the Highstones themselves. Soon enough, the white tom saw the entrance, the winding tunnel that he would lead Ratpaw through. He turned his head to the younger tom, "We will be entering the tunnel, and soon will find the Moonstone. Stay close behind me. When we reach the Moonstone, you will lay down and touch your nose to the stone. Starclan will lull you into sleep, and you will experience Starclan. I wish you to find the knowledge you seek, or the knowledge that you need." His words finished, he flicked his tail, and entered the dark tunnel.

As usual, his small form didn't hinder him, only the edges of his long fur touched the sides of the tunnel, becoming grimy within moments. He knew the way like the back of his paws, ensuring that he wasn't moving too fast for the dark form of Ratpaw. Then at the end of a tunnel, a bright white. They had arrived. Frostgaze moved aside at the entrance so that Ratpaw could enter as well. He settled himself in the corner of the cavern, beginning to scratch into it with claws. Marks that he had been here before, past puzzle plans, simple lines and mazes. Some for himself, some for Webshadow.

It was a long walk. Even Ratpaw, who had been hunting in leaf-bare for some time now — who was used to the strain of walking in deep snow — felt taxed by it. For Frostgaze to make this journey, and often with Basilbloom gone… it was impressive. And likely wearying. But the older tom didn’t speak a word of fatigue, if he felt it.

To Ratpaw’s surprise, however, he hardly felt hunger. Was it the herbs? Or maybe the fact that when hunting, their prey was in their jaws, and tasted fresh; a reminder.

Ratpaw let his mind wander as they walked. He found that it was… not so different, being outside the marsh. It reminded him a bit of Fourtrees; the lack of marshgrass and muddy slush and the presence of trees. But, then, with everything cold and frozen and covered in snow, perhaps all the territories looked strikingly similar at the moment.

They fell into a quiet rhythm, until… eventually, he began to see rocks in the distance. Large, distinctive. He glanced quickly at Frostgaze. Highstones?

He had been brought up on tales of the Highstones, of Mothermouth — of the Moonstone. They ascended in good time. And yet he hadn’t… come prepared with questions.

Ratpaw swallowed, quietly.

Come as you are, he reminded himself. It was his mother’s only advice, and Ratpaw had forgotten to ask his mentor. Frostgaze was kind enough, and patient, but... this felt personal. Will they speak to me?

’Perhaps,’ his mother had said to this same question, smoothing the fur over his head with a lick of her tongue. ’Perhaps not. But it doesn’t matter. You are my son, and you have always made me proud. They can’t possibly feel any differently, as your ancestors.’

But ‘be respectful’, she’d also said. And ‘don’t distract Frostgaze’. So Ratpaw was not certain of how much she truly understood about her son. It made Ratpaw wish he had asked Webshadow, sooner. He’d… had a swimming lesson from a Starclan cat, hadn’t he?

It must have been a relative, then. Did… that mean it would be his kin he might see, if any at all?

Ratpaw looked down, as they entered the cave of Mothermouth. He recalled his conversation with Nightstalker, then Nightpaw. What if I don’t like my family?

But by this time, Frostgaze was speaking to him, beckoning him forward. And it was too late for these things.

They entered the tunnel one by one, and it was… dark. Not dark like the night, under a dim moon or cloudy skies: dark like under the earth, like there were no stars behind the clouds or moon to glimpse. He had to keep his nose to Frostgaze’s tail to follow; shoulders brushing the walls, if only when he stumbled. It was large enough to accommodate him — a smaller cat, like Frostgaze — but large cats would have difficulty.

And then, there was light.

Bright, yet soft — shimmering yet not blinding. Like… the moon. It was familiar, a light he knew well, as a Shadowclan cat; illuminating without heat, without burning. It was… very aptly named. In its presence — as Frostgaze stepped aside, to allow him forward — Ratpaw stepped closer, paws soft, almost shaky.

And then sank to the ground.

It felt… otherworldly here. And so quiet, so… still. As if this place truly was not of this world. He glanced at Frostgaze, a question on the tip of his tongue — but it felt wrong to break the silence, and Frostgaze had turned to something on the wall of the cave. There was something — else, here, in this space and yet Ratpaw did not feel afraid. He felt… welcomed. The air was still but it seemed to thrum in his bones, seep into his heart. I feel you, I hear you.

Trusting himself, and that feeling, Ratpaw closed his eyes… and touched his nose to the stone.


And he woke among the stars.

To feel a wave of nervousness despite being long dead... It was a strange feeling, but not one so unknowing to Bearmask. She had been a nervous, doubtful cat in life - she had found her courage among the stars but sometimes she could feel the prick of uncertainty that still crawl its way down her spine. She closed her eyes, taking in a deep breath - focusing herself...And when she opened them, a new cat stood before her.

Ratpaw.

She blinked a few times, opening her mouth to try to find her voice only for it to fail her. She winced, clearing her voice a little as she gave the tom a bright smile. "Welcome, Ratpaw," she spoke, hoping her voice wasn't giving away how nervous she was. She had given a pawful of lives to different leaders throughout the moons, but she had rarely been called upon to give advice to a soon-to-be warrior. ...Oh stars, look at her! Nervous to talk to an apprentice! "I am Bearmask - once deputy of ShadowClan - thought not for long before I joined the stars," she added, whiskers twitching as she reflected on the guilt she had - disappointing her dad so easily by failing to be his deputy for even a moon or two before she had fallen ill. She gave a shake of her head, chasing off the sad memories before she swished her tail, fixing him with a bright smile. "Tell me, Ratpaw, is there anything you wish advice on?"

To be honest, she had her own idea of what to say - she knew why she was called upon in particular to speak to Ratpaw...But it would be easier to see if he was aware of what he sought - or if she would have to bring it up herself. Either was fine... One was just much more easier to work with than the other.

Ratpaw awoke feeling soft, warm. Like uncurling from a good dream, or waking from a long rest. And he came from it gradually, as if someone were gently calling his name.

When he opened his eyes, he saw a cat.

A molly, he thought. And a warrior. At least, she must have been, in life. From the way she sat, even if she did not carry herself like Flintstar or Murkystar, or even Webshadow. But there was still a sturdiness to her. She was a warrior.

Her fur was a deep, rich brown that bled into true black — beautiful and long and glowing faintly, at the edges, if Ratpaw watched closely. Her eyes were as yellow as his own, and the fur around one dark; it made them starker, and each unique. She had a distinctive look, and had come to meet him.

And yet... he wasn’t sure who she was.

The warrior opened her mouth, as if to say something — pensive? — but when she spoke, it was with a smile.

And she knew his name! Ratpaw stood straighter, then. She wasn’t just a warrior; she was a deputy. He thought of Frostgaze, who brought him here. The surety to him, and the kindness. There was something different about Bearmask — true to her name — but… also not.

He would say she reminded him of his mom, but… she didn’t. Are we related? His mom was sharper, wirier. No, she reminded him… More of me.

Ratpaw returned her smile, hesitantly. “Thank you,” he mewed. And then she asked, and… he wasn’t sure. “I… didn’t come with questions.”

Not big ones. But… “I do want to know how to be a good warrior. I… You were a deputy, and I,” here he paused. “—I’m not very strong. Or steady. I’m just… me.”

Ratpaw looked down, and realized he did have words to say. He didn’t talk to many cats, and not about things like this, but somehow he felt safe, with Bearmask. “I really look up to my mentor, Webshadow. And Murkystar. They’re so… confident, but kind, too.” And here he shifted, and took a breath. “I know they believe in me, but I just don’t know why. I don’t… want to let them down.”

Ratpaw’s mother had always seemed worried that… maybe, he wouldn’t do this right. She’d never say that, but... Ratpaw did tend to wander off, and to do strange things, ones she didn’t understand. Then Ratpaw blinked, and flushed a bit, “Ah, sorry, I know those weren’t questions.”