Dance With Me [C]

What was she doing out here?

She had come out all this way, come out here for– for herbs? No, that wasn't quite right. She was looking for something though, she was sure. Dennis? Yes. Ivystar had said he joined StarClan... that wasn't right though, was it? She hadn't seen him.

Had she seen his body? No. She would know if she had.

Stopping where she stood, Cloverheart kneaded the tough ground underpaw, looking around slowly. It was starting to get darker, but only just– there was still light in the sky, even if the cold hues of dusk were making themselves apparent. It was late... she should turn around.

And cold. Cold, too. She wanted to be back in her nest. It felt colder here, she realized as she stumbled forward to venture closer to the gorge. The water thundered below, making her legs tremble and sending up a spine-chilling breeze, spraying her whiskers with foam. Snorting, the medicine cat wheeled away, half-skipping away from the gash in the earth.

She couldn't go back until she found what she was looking for... but it was late, and it was cold. Her legs hurt, too. Maybe she should wait... maybe she should rest. Sitting back on her haunches, Cloverheart let out a ragged huff, nose wrinkling in frustration.

"WindClan is right over there... I can't just go there, though. But they have... something... for me." The medicine cat mused idly, twisting to stare at the distant rolling moors.

She had been here before... had seen something here before. It was important to her. The thought of it tugged idly at her chest, and as she pulled in a deep breath, her ears flattened. "Rogue?" Cloverheart called out hesitantly, getting to her paws with a wince. Rogue, rogue, rogue, rogue... She knew a rogue. Didn't she? Rogue, rogue, rogue... rock... Rock! The little stone she kept in her nest, it came from here. It was a gift.

Was this the same cat that had given her that gift? Or was she inviting cruelty from a vicious cat she'd never known?

She couldn't fight if it wasn't. She couldn't outrun them, either. With a trembling voice, Cloverheart called out again, "Rogue? I know– I know you're out there! Uhm, somewhere." Please don't hurt me.

Tarot had made sure to consistently visit the gorge since his first meeting with the white-furred riverclan cat Clover, after that meeting they had met twice more, during that time he learned of her becoming the medicine cat of her clan, gaining her the new warrior name Cloverheart. He had been... well, at least acted like he had been proud of her during that time, and had kept up his more friendly deposition with her for the visits.

Then, they stopped meeting. It was odd that they had, Tarot still checked for the stone every two nights, and was mildly concerned that he had somehow upset his important asset, or that she had died during the battle with Windclan. Moons passed and he began to assume her dead and checked for the stone less frequently due to his excursions with Klaus. It was a reasonable course of action, after all.

He didn't mourn her death so much as feel disappointed that he had lost a contact in one of the clans. After all, he had put a lot of effort into forming a good bond with her, and he did genuinely enjoy the conversations with the bright young molly.

Despite him assuming she was dead, he did check-in by the gorge every once in a while, if not in hopes of seeing her then just to admire the view of the natural wonder. He was still an unknown threat to the clans so he wasn't afraid of showing his face, despite almost murdering the Skyclan leader along with his rogue companion, and killing and eating a windclan warrior right in Windclan's territory (A justifiable action, Fawnstep was rude, and deserved to be eaten).

So, tonight, he had expected nothing different, an empty area where he once recalled his tales of the twolegplace to a bright-eyed, dove-furred molly and watched her expression light up in wonder. A ghost of a memory, and a view he'd never get tired of.

While he may be a murderer, he did truly enjoy exploring this wide world and all the secret wonders it held, it was one of the few things that brought him joy and awe. A way to renew his respect for nature and the way of life, to regularly humble himself so he never overestimated his abilities and became foolish with pride.

This time though... was different. There was a cat there, a familiar one... but they were still... different, different from the one he first met under the light of the silverpelt. He was wary of this difference, so he didn't immediately show himself when she arrived, instead hiding in the dead underbrush of leaf-fall. Waiting to see what this cat did.

She began talking, her voice confused, as if something had made her irreversible muddled, her mind foggy. His own eyes narrowed in mild puzzlement. She began calling out, 'Rogue', close but not quite, he had reaffirmed being a simple loner to her many times.

Still, her seeming befuddlement gave him some confidence, if it came to a fight, he'd likely be able to win. He'd only attack if the molly attacked first, of course. She was no abomination of a clan leader, she was a healer, a status respected often by loners and rogues who come across them, after all, he has now since heard tales of rogues or loners that got healed by a clan cat healer.

Finally, the handsome loner stepped out, noble visage now bearing a new crescent moon scar near his eye, and a ragged scar on his side. Despite the new additions to his collection, he still looked the same, those piercing violet eyes never change.

He spoke in the modern tongue, as he always did with Clover, he didn't want to cause undue friction because his asset didn't understand what he was saying. "Clover, my dear, is that you? Or have I somehow gained the ability to see ghosts?" He questioned genuinely, after all, he had assumed she was dead for moons, and thanks to his travels he knew the spirits of cats could sometimes, rarely, manifest. His voice was gentle as he padded forward a bit closer, examining the pale visage of the medicine cat carefully.

She seemed unwell, but those green eyes, though fogged with some unreadable emotion, were definitely hers. He approached a bit cautiously, genuine concern in his eyes, more about the situation than about her in particular. His stance was unaggressive, nothing about him reading as an intent to attack.

"Are you quite all right? Are you harmed anywhere?" He examined the rest of her as if searching for injury.

What a baffling situation...

In her worry, Cloverheart had eased herself back to her paws, half-turning from side to side as she searched for whatever cat was out there. Maybe she could spot them first... maybe that would give her a chance to at least try and run. But as she was turning back towards her right, she found the rogue had materialized from the growing shadows, and she let out a yelp and tripped over her paws trying to back up. Wincing, she settled for just roughly sitting down, staring in awe at wide violet eyes as the tom drew closer.

She knew those eyes... she couldn't say she knew the face, though. Something about it had changed. Was it the scars? Maybe... and he knew her.

"Seeing ghosts?" Cloverheart echoed softly, pale eyes wide and wondering as she looked Tarot over slowly. "I'm not dead." There was a bit of gruffness in her mew, but there was no malice; the mild irritation usually reserved for cats like Turtlefur, and Dennis, and... the name was foggy, but there was someone else. The irritation when she worried too much for them, or they worried too much for her.

"I know you..." It sounded like she was talking to herself, her voice quiet and distant as she spoke. She did know him, and despite the initial shock of his appearance, she had eased considerably. This was a friend... no, not a friend. Her friend. This was where that rock had come from. She knew that, she knew that for sure. His name, though... she stared hard at his sharp eyes, his swirling pelt, but the tom's name eluded her for now. She would remember soon enough. For the time being, she grinned, tail waving slowly.

"It's me!" She chirped, her smile beaming and hazy eyes starting to brighten. "And I'm alright! Not hurt at all. Well," Cloverheart cast a glance at her legs, and let out a sigh. "They're old, though, so they don't really count." Still, the scars did ache. "Really, I'm fine though! Please don't worry about me. I'm more interested in you! How are you? What have you been doing? It's been–" the medicine cat paused, letting out a little cough, hoping her next words were right, "It's been forever since I've seen you."

Even if she wasn't quite right about the forever part, she knew it'd been a few moons at the very least. She'd been so busy since Dennis... left. She'd been lucky this evening was peaceful, that she'd found the time to slip out here.

Unprompted, she murmured, "Not... not a loner. You're... hm. You're my friend." Satisfied with that assessment, Cloverheart nodded to herself and smiled a little wider. "Please. Tell me what you've been up to? I'm sure you've– uh... I'm sure you've seen so much!"

His appearance seemed to startle the poor molly, causing her to jump, which was mildly worrisome because she was so close to the edge of the gorge. He had a bad habit of always being in stealth mode, and never announcing his arrival, during nightfall it sometimes almost seemed like he was a phantom, disappearing and reappearing when he pleased.

She confirmed that she was, indeed not dead. Quite the surprising revelation seeing as how the new scars she had made it look like she should've died. The mild annoyance in her voice at him daring to suggest otherwise made his eyes twinkle with amusement. "To be fair, I hadn't heard from you in moons, the sudden ending of our meeting sessions and that brutish skirmish with Windclan I heard about made me rightfully assume the worse."

The loner settled down, tilting his head curiously when she spoke to herself once more as if trying to reaffirm that she knew him. How curious, and concerning, was her memory starting to leave her so early? She was still quite young in his books, seeing as how he'd met cats far older than her that looked as spry and their juvenile days during his travels.

Despite her seeming muddlement her eyes did start to sharpen once more, though he had a niggling doubt that she was simply putting on a mask like him to hide something. Probably not some startling fact like her secretly being a cannibal murderer like him. No, it'd be more likely that she was just trying to hide how... off, she was.

Her next words and following questions made him raise a brow, the clan cat almost seemed to be unsure of how she should interact with him, and the pause before stating how long it's been since she'd seen him made him rather suspicious. After that she went back to talking to herself for a few moments, it wasn't hard to make out the words, they were cats after all. She seemed to re-decide he was a friend.

Tarot was still very confused about the situation.

The uncertainty in her own words did nothing to assuage his worry about her situation.

"Well, you may not be physically hurt, but that doesn't necessarily mean that there isn't something mentally making you seemingly unsteady." Surprisingly blunt coming from him, but there was still that gentle worry behind his words. He had to keep it there to make sure his statement wasn't taken the wrong way, after all.

He looked the molly over once more, then sighed. "If you'd prefer not to make light of it I suppose I could at least enlighten you about what I've been doing." A slight smile quirked the corners of his mouth. "I've gained a companion on my travels, a rogue. They're a rather sharp one, a bit of a silver tongue, but they have a refinement to themselves that I haven't seen in many lone cats before." He hummed, "When we first met we conversed in riddles, a fun mind-game with each other if you will. I quite enjoyed it. I was rather wary at first, of course, but they seemed to take an odd interest in me that I haven't quite figured out yet." He thought on it for a moment before shaking it off. "Occasionally we travel together, it was a fresh experience, having someone with me on my usually-solitary ventures. I've learned quite a lot more about this forest from them."

Yes, Klaus was quite an interesting character. Tarot still wasn't quite sure what to think about him, it was beneficial to stay near his side, of course, he had learned quite a lot. He may not share quite the same goals with the tom, in fact, it wasn't too far-fetched to say that Tarot wasn't exactly solid on some of the ideals he had that he'd told the rogue. Sure the loner had some ambitions, but he wasn't about to chase them unless he was sure he could actually accomplish them. His only sure goal in life was really just to learn and experience as much as he could in his life. Playing with that knowledge to meddle with the world around him was more of a hobby, really, alongside messing with the clans and trying to eradicate the blight that was clan leaders and their unnatural number of lives. (The latter was really only 'if you have the chance, go for it', though. It was festering loathing, yes, but Tarot was smart enough to know when to act on his hate, he wasn't careless).

The loner was very complex and unpredictable in his motivations, overall. The fact that he prided himself on being unpredictable helped it stay consistent because he never fought against his own complexity. One could say that his motivation was his amusement, getting a rise out of cats, twisting their minds around in confusing knots, or even more simple joys like exploring and gaining knowledge.

He acted on whims, yet was still calculating, and plotted out his actions.

It was a mess, really, one that he was quite content with.

The loner snapped out of his moments of silence, blinking as he released himself from the spiralling chain of thoughts. He looked back to his companion. "Ah, yes, pardon me, got a bit lost in thought there. I've mostly spent my free time exploring the forest, honestly. I've met a few other clanners, but they were only in passing." Well, more like he killed them or... tried to kill them. "Still, none were quite like you. Most immediately tried to strike against me, no intellectual conversations, really. My meeting you seems to be wholly unique." Well, he struck first against Wolfstar... or, well, Klaus did and then he just joined in shredding the leader apart, not much room for interesting conversations. Really any talking was mostly just the old tom raging about Klaus being a terrible cat. Very dull, the only excitement out of that was gaining a new thing to hate and being able to use his strike-and-hide tactics to their fullest... and also Klaus almost dying.

Fawnstep was really just him following through on his moral of eating the rude, it was fun to completely break the tom though, and he made an enemy of a starclan cat since apparently, clans get exclusive rights to dying-but-not-really. Tch.

"All in all, quite an enlightening past few moons. I haven't had much time to travel far enough to meet new wonders, but do you remember what I told you when we first met? About the possibility of twoleg nests that reach far into the horizon?" No, really, did she remember? "Well, I've come up with a brilliant idea. I theorize that if one follows the thunderpaths, they may eventually be able to find one!" His violet hues brightened with excitement at the idea. "You know twolegs travel inside monsters, right? Well, I've pondered about where exactly they go in those. I've seen some travel between different twolegnests or areas inside the twoleg place that seemed to be crafted by twolegs, but their thunderpaths stretch beyond the twolegplace, so where do they go?"

He let out a pleased purr, "I think that they lead to other twolegplaces, their species seems almost limitless in their ability to build structures, so naturally some of those twolegplaces have to be larger then any I've seen!" He glanced up at the night sky, "Imagine, I could possibly reach one of these places and see even more of their fallen stars in the night, stretching far past my line of sight... how beautiful. "

His gaze grew distant as if picturing it already. It was one of the most exciting revelations he had, a way to reach scenery he had only imagined up until then. His paws itched to go on the journey, but he knew he'd regret leaving the forest of clan cats so soon.

The thunderpaths would always be there. It was a journey he could make any time, still, he longed to see it sooner rather than later... it was too soon, though, too soon. He hadn't learned all he could of this forest yet, and he may be unable to find his way back to the clans if he embarked on such a long journey such as that...

Along with that, he wasn't strong enough to face all the possible dangers. He still had much to learn from Klaus about fighting, so he could defend himself. It was a new dream though, a new goal, and he'd be sure to grasp it before his life faded from him. Yet another reason to stay alive.

Tarot's assessment that her damage may not be all physical made Cloverheart's ears lower, a brief look of confusion and annoyance flickering over her features. Mental damage? No, not at all. She was fine, except for her legs.

... wasn't she?

She thought for a moment, tail flicking. She had been forgetting things... important things. The last moons had been hazy for her, but that hardly meant anything. So a few things skipped her mind here and there– she was a good, attentive medicine cat, and that was what mattered.

Her simple, pleased grin returned as the loner shifted the subject. He would have something interesting to share with her, she knew that much– and he did indeed. Cloverheart's whiskers twitched as Tarot spoke of a rogue he'd made something of a friend out of. Absently, the molly mused, "I wonder if I could ever meet him."

There was silence, and Cloverheart made no attempt to break it, other than a periodic hum as she worked the ground underpaw, thinking hard. If this rogue was a friend of Tarot's, then he was decidedly a friend of hers. Or... maybe that was a bad assessment. Rogues were supposed to be more vicious, more willing to strike first and ask questions later. Though, on the other paw, she had never met a bad rogue.

Cloverheart quirked her head, giving Tarot a long, searching look. She had never met a rogue at all.

Still, she was confident that the mysterious companion would make a good friend. Her whiskers twitched as she thought about asking after him– but Tarot had started talking again, and she wanted to hear whatever it was he had to say. She would ask later, then.

A little purr rumbled from her as he mentioned the other Clan cats he'd met. "Well, I'm glad I'm special!" She mewed warmly, eyes closing as her smile widened. She wondered what other Clan cats he'd met... and why they'd been so aggressive towards him. Tarot had been nothing but nice to her, and she couldn't imagine him being unduly vicious towards others. Why would they choose to lash out at a rogue, minding his own business as he explored the world?

Cloverheart blinked her eyes open, letting out another soft hum. She wondered if any of those cats he'd met had been from SkyClan. Wolfstar's name floated blearily through her mind, and her nose wrinkled at the thought of his stars-forsaken Clan. Hopefully the tom hadn't run into any of them.

He was asking her a question... something about when they'd first met. Cloverheart's eyes narrowed as she listened, trying to recall what exactly they'd talked about. Twoleg nests, twoleg nests, twoleg nests...

Cloverheart tilted her head skyward, watching the stars glittering overhead. There was... there was something there. What was it? What was she forgetting?

He was almost kind enough to elaborate, but any explanation she could've hoped for was cut off in favor of his theorizing. The medicine cat absently flicked an ear in his direction to acknowledge she was still listening, though her vacant gaze was trained firmly on the sky.

"Fallen stars..." Cloverheart echoed softly, blinking slowly. Fallen stars... in twolegplace? It almost felt familiar; it was right there, the conversation sat right behind where she could reach. But Tarot sounded excited, so she let a weary grin cross her features.

"I want to follow the thunderpath with you," she offered carefully, lowering her attention to search Tarot's face. "I don't... I don't think I do remember. It was–" She paused, stuttering, and eventually came out with, "it was just.. so long ago, and I've been busy, I guess, so... I'm sorry. But it sounds nice! I want to go. I want to see those stars." Her tail waved slowly, and she kneaded the ground harder under paw. Stars, yes, but following the thunderpath? To a place where she might not even be able to reach StarClan...

Another glance towards the stars glittering overhead, and she breathed in deep. She imagined WindClan's sprawling moors, and imagined what they would look like blanketed with golden stars, like they were plucked straight from Silverpelt. "I would like that... a lot, I think. I'll go with you, someday, when I don't have so much to do, and... just, when I can. I'll go. Don't go without me."

Distantly, Cloverheart wondered what commitment she was making. If she would be able to commit. But that field of stars... she couldn't remember talking of it before, but thinking on it now, she wanted nothing more than to slip away. Just for one night, she wanted to flee with her friend to the towering heights of a twolegplace far, far away, and watch as their stars winked to life. It would be peaceful, such a change from the turmoil daily life had become.

Craning her neck down, she caught sight of her scars and scowled. Would she even be able to make that journey? ... she had to. She desperately wanted to.

"We'll follow the thunderpath, and we'll find the stars. Maybe– uh.. maybe you could bring your friend too! We can all go together, or.. just us. I want to see them. Someday."

He was certain now... something was up with Cloverheart, something had upset her balance to the point of her forgetting things. After his comment, he studied her, gaze intent, but not sharp, as if he were trying to figure something out. Her affirmation of wanting to see the fallen stars with him one day though, made him smile softly. His expression almost seemed affectionate.

"I'll be sure to take you, don't worry... I won't go without you." Tarot dipped his head. His words committed. "And perhaps my friend would want to come as well, I'm not too sure though, they seem rather intent on this forest." He spoke vaguely. "I think, though, that it would be healthy for them to take a step away from it all. I think it'd be good for you too." He rose a brow at her, "Everyone needs a break every once in a while. Helps the mind recover from stress and stay sharp in my experience."

The loner let out a hum. "Even if we don't travel along the thunderpath to reach grander twolegplaces, I can still always take you to the twolegplace where I came from, where I first saw the fallen stars. After all, I promised to take you there if ever you wanted to step away from the clans for a bit, experience a taste of my life, the life of a loner." His tail twitched slightly as he mused on that for a bit, on the conundrum that was his unbalanced companion.

He glanced back to the riverclanner, an inquisitive glint in his eyes. "I have a question though, dear Cloverheart. A passing inquiry." He tilted his head, "Who are you?" He blinked, maybe more elaboration was required. "What traits would you say make up who you are? What... do you like? What things make you sad or upset?" He paused, then smiled slightly, seeming a bit sheepish. "Sorry about asking such a thing out of the blue. But I suppose you could say I'm curious to know more about you. If it's too personal though you don't have to indulge me."

He glanced away then, looking over the thundering gorge. "I ask myself that question sometimes. Who am I? Who do I consider myself to be? I find it helps sometimes when I'm confused when things seem unbalanced. It helps... steady me... or solidifies my identity, I suppose." He gestured to the scenery around them with a paw. "I think it's easy to get caught up in the world's chaos. To feel overwhelmed, to try and numb ourselves to avoid the pain that comes with such turmoil." His gaze seemed a bit distant as he said this, and briefly, he closed his eyes. "It happens often when your life is just a constant fight for survival, a struggle to see the next rising sun or setting moon. When you're caught up in the rapids of reality, nothing else matters, and it's easy to lose yourself."

He glanced to his side, smiling slightly at the medicine cat he had somehow come to be content in the company of. No, he wouldn't call her one of his favoured cats, he supposed. He knew that when the time came and she found out about who he really was, she'd reject him. He considered such a thing inevitable whenever he crafted a connection to a cat who didn't know his true nature.

Tarot supposed that's why Klaus was different though. The rogue wasn't particularly comfortable about some of his key traits, but he didn't reject him despite that... it was a curious thing, really. Despite all this though, the loner was never really reluctant to share some of his experience and knowledge with others. Even if they grew to loath him for who he was... he still had impacted them.

He had left a piece of his legacy with those cats, and perhaps also left them questioning why a monster would ever help them in the first place. That was always something amusing to think about really... cats who see in only black and white struggling with the shades of grey he revealed to them.

The thought made him chuckle slightly out loud, and he lightly covered his muzzle with one paw, swiftly thinking up a reason to give his silent listener a reason for the brief outburst. "I really do sound like some wizened old elder sometimes, don't I?"

"Anyhow," he lowered his paw back to the ground, and shifted into a lax partial crouch. "Eventually I learned that I needed to allow myself to step back from those rapids, and ask myself such questions to regain some sort of balance in my restless life. It helps you stay steady in times of trial when the world wants to test your limits, stretch your boundaries." He glanced back over to the riverclanner, "So, if ever you realize just how deep life's rapids have dragged you, I suggest asking yourself that one question... Who are you?" He smiled softly, "And if ever you don't like the answer... perhaps... it's time for a change."