Constantly Changing (c)

Jasminepaw needed a breather for a bit. Her injuries were healing, and she hadn't gone for a proper walk in about a quarter moon. Flintstar had allowed her to walk to Fourtrees and back; no further, no going into the marshes, no borders. Beetleflight, Jasminepaw thought his name was, had escorted her to Fourtrees, and then left to go hunt, telling her he'd be back after catching a few things, and telling her to be safe.

The ShadowClan cats were all so kind to her, she thought, smiling. Her gaze drifted towards SkyClan territory, an uneasy tug urging her both forward to SkyClan and back to ShadowClan. As in one singular toe refused to fully leave SkyClan alone, despite the rest of her paw moving on. No, you made your choice. And you made the right one. She thought firmly, turning her back to the border.

The brown and white tabby took maybe three steps before she smelled a fresh SkyClan scent, one that hadn't previously been there. "W-who's there?" She called, praying to StarClan that it wasn't Beechface, Wolfstar, Bloodstrike, or any other big, scary SkyClan cat.

It was a beautiful day. The morning sky was streaked with rosy clouds, the blue skies blue as Dawnfeather’s eyes, and a soft breeze rustled her fur, sending pleasant shivers up her back. She’d made her way to Fourtrees… for no reason, really. The young warrior had just wanted to see it, see it in the daytime when true colors were revealed. It wasn’t nearly as elegant, but not nearly as intimidating either. A cobweb, glistening with dew, hung between two of the Great Oaks, and Dawnfeather leapt into one, and began gently messing with it. She wasn’t about to hurt the spider, just watch the way it shimmering in the sun when she touched the web gently.

”W-who’s there?”

Dawnfeather turned around swiftly, eyes narrowing. Hawkuncle had told her she needed to be more alert… stars, she really did if this obviously nervous cat could sneak up on her… did she know this cat? Hadn’t someone mentioned somecat who ran off and was eaten by a fox? J… Prima had been her mentor, hadn’t she? Well, anycat Prima mentored was obviously a good cat. Armed with this knowledge, Dawnfeather leapt out of the tree, dewdrops glistening on her fur. “Hello, I’m Dawnfeather! Aren’t you Prima’s apprentice? J…Jaypaw? J… j… sorry! I’m not good with names,” she apologized gracefully, taking in the brown and white tabby. Hmm. Definitely nervous. She looked scared, poor thing. Why was she here all alone?

"N-not Jaypaw.. Uhm, c-close, it's, uhm, Ja-Jasminepaw..." She mumbled. This was... Dawn...feather..? Primroselight's daughter. My mentor. The thought brought a wave of sadness, and she was surprised by Dawnfeather's kindness towards her. "Uhm, y-yes, I'm- well, was, Primroselight's apprentice. Um.. H-how is she?"

Awkwardly shuffling her paws, she looked around anxiously. "Y-you're not gonna a-attack me, right..?"

“Jasmine. Such a pretty flower! It smells good, too,” Dawnfeather mused. “Attack you? Er… am I supposed to? I’m sorry I’m just really bad at this when to attack other cats stuff and I just usually wait and see what the other cat does so as long as you’re good I’m good!” She paused to take a breath. “Prima’s doing well! We hunted the other day and I showed her stuff… you smell like ShadowClan.” The wind had changed, and now was blowing the distinctive marshy scent straight towards her.

“Not that that’s bad,” she hastily amended. “I’m just, you know, curious. Marshes can be nasty things- Hawkuncle said some were so deep a cat could drown in them.” Some went straight to the Dark Forest, she was sure. Just like how one could almost touch StarClan from some of SkyClan’s tallest trees, one could quite certainly enter the Dark Forest from some of ShadowClan’s deepest marshes. Dawnfeather looked at Jasminepaw with concern, hoping the brown and white molly wouldn’t suffer that fate- and totally forgetting the whole Clan-hopping thing.

"Uhm, I'd uh prefer i-if you didn't attack me...I was, uhm, c-confused. A-aren't SkyClan a-angry at me...?" She mewed, distress and confusion evident in her tone. Dawnfeather... She was like Primroselight, kind, and so Jasminepaw didn't think she'd attack her but.. It didn't hurt to be cautious. "I'm glad Primroselight is doing well... ShadowClan..? O-oh, uhm, yes. Flintstar.. He rescued me and saved m-my life. A-after I... After I left SkyClan I, uhm, encountered a fox." Jasminepaw turned slightly, revealing a fuzzy patch on the base of her tail where the fur had yet to grow back from the bit, and her the nasty scar covering her shoulder.

"Everycat is so kind to me there.. B-basilpaw, the medicine cat, treated me with kindness and n-never once complained, and h-her brother Loudpaw is, erm, well l-loud, but friendly. T-then there's the d-deputy, she's so much nicer t-than Bloodstrike, and Mistyfalcon, a warrior, helped Flintstar to s-save me." Jasminepaw explained, looking a bit sheepish. "The m-marshes aren't too b-bad if you k-know where to avoid. A n-nice tom escorted me h-here so that I w-wouldn't get hurt."

“Angry? Oh, probably,” Dawnfeather commented, sitting down and wrapping her tail around her paws. “Some cats just seem to be constantly angry. It must be very tiring…  ooh. A fox. You’re lucky to get out of that encounter alive,” she mewed, tilting her head and staring at Jasminepaw curiously. Two apprentices might take down a young fox… but one, young apprentice being chased by a full-grown fox? StarClan must have something special in store for this tabby. Dawnfeather resolved to keep a close eye on her, just out of curiosity. Just to see what she became.

“Loudpaw sounds… accurate,”she snorted. “I wonder what his warrior name will be? Hm? Come on, Bloodstrike’s nice! Uhm… yeah. Very nice. Umm… he was very nice when I was apprenticed to him!” Dawnfeather really hadn’t interacted with her mentor very much. Maybe they could talk and she could ask him why Jasminepaw said he was mean.

"I-it wasn't really a f-fair fight to the f-fox. I, uhm, w-well, I dropped a branch on its h-head. And t-then I ran over the t-thunderpath, uh, I-I don't think foxes l-like monsters. I, uh, g-got lost, but Flintstar and Mistyfalcon found me! I thought t-they'd be angry and attack me, b-but instead they brought me to their c-camp." Jasminepaw explained, feeling more certain that Dawnfeather wouldn't attack her. "Loudpaw is... v-very accurate," She laughed, smiling sadly.

Perhaps if she'd met Dawnfeather, and they'd become friends, she wouldn't have left SkyClan. No! Don't think like that! Then Dawnfeather mentioned Bloodstrike, and she frowned. He.. Seemed nice with his Clanmates but.. She heard him threaten those WindClan kits... and saw the deputy's broken leg, and that poor she-cat's eye.. That hadn't seemed very... nice to her. "I-I dunno... H-he's, uhm, well, k-kinda scary.. A-and really s-strong.. I, uhm, I don't think he's very nice. N-not to the other Clans. I-in the battle with WindClan..." She shuddered, looking down, "H-he threatened to hurt, p-potentially k-kill or m-maim any kits who came t-too close. I was scared of h-him just then. I-Imagine if any of t-those kits heard him..? T-they'd have nightmares f-for moons.. I know I-I would..." Even if it was a fight.. Threatening kits seemed... Too far, in Jasminepaw's eyes.

Suddenly her eyes went wide and she backed away, "I-I'm sorry! I-I didn't mean t-to insult your d-deputy!" She squeaked, half afraid Dawnfeather would kill her on spot for even thinking about talking badly about any cat in SkyClan. "I-I.. I really d-don't want to f-fight. That's why I l-left SkyClan in the f-first place.."

Dawnfeather kneaded the ground nervously as she listened to Jasminepaw. “I wasn’t there at the attack on WindClan… I would’ve been sick if I was. I’ll ask Bloodstrike why he did that… it doesn’t seem very nice… but I’m sure he had a good reason! Oh? Insult? Well… it isn’t an insult if it’s true… right? But why don’t you want to fight? I mean, I like to think I’m a nice cat, but I’ll fight if I have to. Prima would, Beechaunt most certainly would, Smokema would, Hawkuncle would. You have to fight for those you care about. It’s not that I don’t respect your point of view,” she hurriedly added. ”Im just curious as to why you think that way, why your eyes see the world upside-down and inside-out from what I do, river’s reflections before breaking the surface.” She’d gotten a bit off track, but she hadn’t ever found anycat who didn’t like flowing words, like a river, like a dragonfly skimming the surface.

"I.. I don't want to make other cats h-hurt. Because there's some cat out there s-somewhere that loves them, and w-would be sad if they were hurt. E-even scary cats like Dawnhawk and Bloodstrike have cats who love them.. Imagine h-how sad Primroselight would be if Bloodstrike got hurt r-real bad again? A-and Tornshadow would be really sad i-if Dawnhawk got hurt." She mewed, eyes settling uncomfortably on the ground. "E-even rogues have f-family and friends... A-and they don't have a medicine cat to heal them. Of c-course if someone threatens ShadowClan, I-I'll fight.. But Flintstar understands, he said he won't make me f-fight anyone except to defend myself and my Clanmates."

For that, Jasminepaw knew she owed Flintstar even more than her life. He'd given her a home and understood her fears and didn't force her to do what she didn't want to. "Cats who are hurting hurt other cats. But that doesn't make the hurt go away, it just p-passes it to someone e-else." Jasminepaw whispered, a sadness in her gaze. "If cats would just talk to each other a-and try to understand each other t-then there wouldn't be as much violence and unneeded b-bloodshed.."

“I don’t want to hurt others either. I’d be sad if Bloodstrike or Hawkuncle got hurt, it isn’t just Prima and Tornfleet.” Dawnfeather listened quietly, eyes widening as Jasminepaw continued to speak. Once the brown tabby quieted, she scooted over and laid her tail gently on the other’s back. “You see the world upside down, from underneath the river’s surface, looking up at the stars. You’re one as they say born too late. You should’ve gone to the stars early, never known suffering. You expect StarClan here on the ground, and you’re right to expect it, for all rights you should’ve always been there. The stars shine up in the sky and you know something is off here on the ground, Jasmine, shooting star of Silverpelt, light bloom unfurling in leaf-bare instead of late new-leaf. But wishes don’t change fishes, and you are, for better or for worse, here on the green grass instead of the ethereal pools above.”

“In StarClan there are only good cats, they say, and so you expect the same on the green grass of the Clans. You must remember that we aren’t yet sorted, and that bloody claws walk upon the earth. You can’t expect the blood to stop pouring on the ground, or else we wouldn’t have flowers, they say. Perhaps, perhaps you are right, late bloom, but cats aren’t all good. No one is, deep down inside, truly good. Even I am perhaps a bit angry at this one cat who keeps attacking me” She calmed down, realizing she was getting off track. “What all my fleeting words truly mean is this. Cats are not inherently good, and you cannot expect such. Be a beacon, a bright light in the shadows of the green grass, and show others the world beneath the river’s surface.”

Dawnfeather took a deep breath and shook her fur out. “I talk a lot once I start going,” she apologized gracefully. “And I’ve said what I wanted to say many times over, embellishing with flowers and stars. I hope this helps you, late bloom.” She smiled at the apprentice, hoping her words had soothed the wounds the brown tabby carried, both the ones from blooming late and the ones from fleeing to ShadowClan. She couldn’t imagine feeling so alone in her own Clan. She had both all her family members… except Hawkuncle… and Beetlepaw and Olivepaw and Dandelionpaw. Poor Jasmine, late bloom of new-leaf. “I’m going to call you Jasminebloom, whether that’s your warrior name or not!” She cheerfully decided. “As long as you’re okay with it, of course. Like I call Smokefeather Smokema and Primroselight Prima and Dawnhawk Hawkuncle and Beechface Beechaunt.”

As Dawnfeather spoke, Jasminepaw listened in silence, tears building up in her eyes. "D-Dawnfeather.." She whispered, and then she suddenly moved forward, shoving her face into Dawnfeather's shoulder. Jasminepaw had always been on the shorter side. "Thank you... C-can we be.. F-friends..?" The brown tabby asked, glancing slightly up at the flame point. "O-Oh, sorry!" Backing away, she sheepishly smiled. "O-only one other cat has really l-listened to my point of v-view before, and uhm, she's i-in StarClan now but.. Uhm, thank you.."

Jasminepaw shuffled her paws. "Maybe you're right, m-maybe I should be in StarClan right n-now, and I do think that there's a lot of good in e-every cat, so I'm gonna be a beacon of h-hope, and show every cat that the world isn't a-all bad, because I don't t-think it is. I'll do my b-best to make all the Clans h-happier and kinder. E-even if someone doesn't agree with m-me, I'll still be k-kind to them. I don't want to pass h-hurt, I want to pass kindness." Jasminepaw mewed, firm, tail twitching slightly. That's what she wanted to do. She wanted to be someone others could depend on, someone who could makes others happy, and spread love. That's what her goal in life was. Thank you for making me realize that, Dawn.

The young warrior’s ears flicked back, startled, as Jasminepaw buried her face in her shoulder. “Of course!” She purred happily, laying her tail on the brown and white tabby’s back. “It’s always a good thing to have somecat who listens, even if they disagree.” She followed her own advice and listened quietly as the apprentice talked, slowly flicking her tail. “I think that’s a good idea! Don’t be naive, but be gracious and merciful. Why don’t you try talking to some of the ShadowClan apprentices or young warriors? I’m sure you’ll find some agree with you. Everyone needs something to fight for- even if you don’t fight, you need something to tie you down, to live for.”

She tilted her head back to gaze at the morning sky, brightening with every heartbeat. “I’d better go soon, but I know what it’s like to lose someone very close to you.”

Jasminepaw's ears flicked back as Dawnfeather explained she'd need to go soon. "O-oh, yeah, of course! Beetleflight's g-gonna be back soon, anyways. He's my ShadowClan e-escort." She explained, smiling at Dawnfeather. She..had a new friend! Dawnfeather wasn't much like Jaypaw, other than that they were both very kind to her. "Thank you f-for being my friend!" She mewed, green eyes brightening with joy. "I don't know when we'll meet again, b-but next time we do, I'll tell you a-all about ShadowClan, and you can tell me about h-how you and Primroselight are doing!" She chirped. Jasminepaw's tail brushed Dawnfeather's flank, and she spared one last glance before turning and bounding off. "Bye, Dawnfeather!" The ShadowClan apprentice called over her shoulder before she disappeared into the bushes.

“Okay, goodbye! May StarClan light your path and banish the fleas from your nest!” The young warrior called after Jasminepaw, rising to her paws. The glorious morning above her head only lightened her mood as she set off, back into SkyClan territory by the quickest route, her pawsteps light and airy.

Dawnfeather had helped someone today. The knowledge made her paws tingle happily, her head held high. Hopefully the young apprentice would lead a long, happy life, full of hope and joy.