Don't We All Want More [C]

Ashfall hadn't had much free time the last few sunrises, having been on patrols, trying to get as much rest as possible, even giving passing glances into the medicine den to make sure Henpaw wasn't spending too much time cooped up inside. Her nights were about as restful as her busy days, which had only made her grumpier, and made it harder to control, and hide, her own emotions. This wouldn't stop her from her next goal, however. Speaking with Timberpaw.

Her eye made passing glances over the camp when she had time, looking carefully for the brown and white pelt of Timberpaw. Suddenly, out of the corner of her eye, she spotted him. He was getting bigger, and his fur pattern did truly remind her of his father. One of the things she wanted to speak with him about. Quickly stepping over to the fresh-kill pile and grabbing a smaller rabbit, she approached him. Placing it in front of her, she sat down next to him. "Hey there Timberpaw. I've been wanting to talk to you, want some prey?" Was she bringing him prey because she had never spoken to him and was about to talk to him about some things that he might not want to speak of? Yes, yes she was.

"I spoke to your sister a few sunrises ago, sounds like you two are having issues. You've both gone through quite a bit in the last few moons, and I wanted to talk to you. Make sure you're doing alright and all." Ashfall didn't want to sound too casual, but not too serious either. So she spoke with kindness, trying to make sure Timberpaw wouldn't think her... strange for just coming up to him. She did genuinely care for the tom, he had lost both parents. Ashfall didn't want him to feel untaken care of by the clan.

Timberpaw wasn't interacting much ever since, what he called, the eagle incident. He didn't want to make over cats upset we emotions he just bottled up for a happy attitude for too long.

That 'happy attitude' he had kept meant almost nothing now.

He was still taking care of himself and the clan, sure. Maybe he would've talked to the medicine cat about his problems with Henpaw. Oh wait. The medicine cat was Henpaw. He was just coming out of the apprentice den to grab something to eat when...

"Hey there Timberpaw."

He jumped, looking up at the warrior in front of him. Well, not really 'up' he was almost as big as the fully grown warriors now, he was growing very quickly. "Hi... Ashfall..?" He guessed. There would've been a time where he would've taken the names of every cat and did his best to remember them, but he didn't care about learning names anymore. "I... Do want some prey actually, how did you know?" He pulled the small rabbit close to him and raised his head to listen. "Oh." He looked down once the warrior had spoken. Why was he surprised the she had spoken to his sister? She was the medicine cat, she was having some very clear... issues. Of course she spoke to her. "Yeah... A lot has happened, actually." He looked away but kept talking. "First it was Henpaw breaking the news that mother was never returning to Windclan, then she became the medicine cat so we couldn't train together, then.. Father died..." He really, really didn't want to talk about the next part. "Me... Hen..." He kept trailing off. "I could stay happy through all of that, there was always a bright side and Henpaw, but now... I- I just don't think I can see a happy side to all of this and- and- and-" He couldn't continue, his voice was breaking, he really, really didn't want to talk. "When... When Henpaw and I went out for a walk, an eagle attacked..." He hadn't gotten to the part he was almost in tears about before almost in tears turned into tears and he slumped down into a laying position. "She was always- always pushing me around.... Always telling me what to do and I wasn't happy about that part I thought I needed... to... to..." He buried his head in his paws. "It's all my fault, I told her I- I was sick of her bossing me around... and I wasn't a kit but I was too angry and I made her cry, and... and..." He couldn't keep talking, pressing his paws tight against his head. "I wasn't r-really th-that angry w-with her.. I-I-I-." No matter how he tried to speak, he just couldn't, and he couldn't hide that fact that he was the reason they yelled at each other, it was just all his fault.

It was all his fault.

It was all my fault... I can't hide from that.

Ashfall listened. It was what she was good at, what she had always been good at. Though she had usually done so from afar, not wanting to bother anyone. Not wanting to reveal her intentions out of her own anxieties and fears. Though now that she was a warrior, becoming more experienced by the moon, she needed to take the initiative to listen to her clanmates. To alleviate their own anxieties and fears. Because if she didn't... who would? Timberpaw was an apprentice she cared for, especially due to the circumstances he now faced.

Ashfall let Timberpaw let his emotions pour out, and she did nothing but listen until he had devolved into tears and sadness.

Putting her limp paw on his back gently, Ashfall spoke softly. "It's not your fault. Henpaw can be a bit... aggressive at times. Impulsive even. If Ryesnap bossed me around like that, I would have gotten angry too. Sometimes siblings can get like this, where they both care so deeply for each other, but sometimes one can be too caring. Too... smothering. Henpaw really cares about you, and I know she didn't mean to make you upset. You shouldn't feel guilty for that feeling though. It's okay to be angry, and annoyed. Even at those you care about." Removing her paw, she shifted her weight onto her haunches. "There might not be a bright side to any of it, but is that such a terrible thing? Some things have no good sides. Sometimes things are bad, and that's okay because they get better. Nothing stays terrible forever. Just, uh, remember that maybe? I've never been much of an optimist."

The tip of Ashfall's tail twitched gently, a feeling of awkwardness spreading through her. She had been dealing with too many crying cats lately, and she still hadn't gotten used to it. "Just so you know, I'm always around to talk to. Would hate for you, or your siblings, to feel like you have no one. Because that just isn't true." All of the talk about family served as a cruel reminder of her own father, and the fact she had not spoken to her own brother or mother in ages. Gave her something to think about.