Until It Sleeps [Smallbean]

Swiftspirit stirred restlessly in her nest, ears twitching at the soft sounds of injured denmates. In the medicine den the breeze didn't constantly ruffle her fur like it did while sleeping under the stars, but that hardly seemed to matter for the chronically insomniac warrior. If it wasn't the wind, it was the noise of her clanmates, and if not the noise of her clanmates, it was the nest that wasn't hers, or her own thoughts, or the pain that kept her awake.

It was that insomnia that had led to her being so exhausted she couldn't dodge the simplest of blows to the belly. The slashes were long and had cut deeper than she'd expected, and half-healed they made getting comfortable or doing much of anything a chore. Her memories of getting to the medicine den were a bit foggy, maybe it was from the blood loss, or the exhaustion. Probably both. Still, Bearspirit's presence had seemed to stick. He'd only done what was right, Swiftspirit told herself, he'd only done what anyone else would've done by getting her to the medicine den in one piece. It was nothing more than that. At least he hadn't been terribly hurt in the battle, like Ashfall or Dayspring.

Guilt tugged at her, and Swiftspirit's ears twitched back at the memories of the battle. Skyclan hadn't found what they wanted, so they'd resorted to maiming and permanently injuring Windclan warriors instead. And Swiftspirit had been taken out of the fighting early, by something she could have easily avoided had she been more aware. Her opponent had been a crying mess and stuttering over apology after apology, and Bearspirit had had little trouble finishing him off. Was she so inept that she needed a Riverclanner to rescue her while her clanmates had fallen around them? He'd saved her hide, yes, and Swiftspirit was grateful for it, but others had needed the help more than she had even with her injuries. It... irked her, for some reason, and she was too sleep-deprived to attempt to untangle why exactly it did.

Swiftspirit shifted in her nest with a quiet sigh. Maybe if she could just get to sleep she'd be able to think clearly. Getting sleep would require that she ignore her racing mind and the pain that currently laced her movements, however. And that, it seemed, was much easier said than done.

In the nights following Skyclan's ambush, Smallbean found himself staying up later and waking up earlier. Many of the wounded slept in their own nests, but a few who were gravely injured slept in the medicine den. Aspenheart's nest still remained untouched, though- Softbreeze would have Smallbean's head if he let someone sleep in it. The tom stifled a yawn as he looked over the cats who slept, watching the faint rise and fall of their flanks, listening to their soft breaths. Most of them were healing well, but he couldn't help but stay up late in case one of them needed his assistance. He'd never forgive himself if he wasn't awake and something happened.

Settling down, he lowered himself into his nest, tucking his paws beneath him. The movement of one of the cats caught his attention. "Swiftspirit?" He whispered, hoping his words would reach the she-cats ears. Swiftspirit had been shifting for a while, he just thought that she might have been trying to get comfortable. At this hour he would be certain that she'd be asleep though- if it wasn't for her tossing and turning. "Are you awake?" Smallbean was aware that Swiftspirit had trouble sleeping sometimes, but he didn't know the extent of her insomnia.

Swiftspirit's ears swiveled immediately towards the sound of the medicine cat's voice when he spoke. She wasn't sure how long he'd been watching her, though he'd settled down as if to attempt to get some sleep of his own not long ago. Hopefully her incessant tossing and turning hadn't been what had woken him up. Swiftspirit refused to believe that he hadn't been asleep, it was simply far too early for most to be awake, barring bouts of miserable insomnia.

"Yeah, can't sleep." She mewed softly, mindful of the volume of her voice so as to avoid potentially waking others that slept in the den too. "I didn't wake you, did I?"

Smallbean smiled when he heard the warrior's voice. "No, you didn't wake me, I've been awake." Before anything else, his medicine cat instincts kicked in. "Is it pain keeping you awake? Do you need anything?" He asked, keeping his voice quiet. Swiftspirit's wounds had been healing well, so he doubted that was the case, but he still made sure to ask anyways. Infection can come quickly, after all.

After receiving an answer, Smallbean let silence fall between them, the only sounds once again being the soft snores of their clanmates. The tom let out a wide yawn. Another moment passed. He finally spoke again, his soft voice echoing about the den. "What keeps you up this late? There's gotta be something, right?" Smallbean looked toward the den ceiling, eyes tracing over the cracks and crevices. "Sometimes I stay up late like this for reasons other than looking after wounded cats. A lot of times it's my thoughts keeping me awake, usually on days when something is troubling me." Smallbean was never this open during daylight. It might just be the calmness the night brought with it that urged him to open up. "So what is it for you?"

"I'm okay," Swiftspirit shook her head. The pain had been getting better recently, and her paws itched to run the moors once again, though she understood why she was being kept in the den still. Hopefully she'd be fully healed sooner rather than later, but the pain had been the least of what had been keeping her awake. "Unless you have something that would let me ignore my thoughts...?"

The silence that filled the air was a comfortable one, but Swiftspirit's mind continued in her train of thought, hardly slowing. Smallbean spoke up again, and Swiftspirit lifted a shoulder in a shrug as she responded. "I just... I had to be saved by a Riverclanner who could have been helping others fight, or who could've prevented Dayspring or Ashfall from getting hurt as badly as they did. I should've been more aware of my surroundings, it was something that could've been avoided entirely." It couldn't hurt to tell him that much, at least, and he was the clan's medicine cat. It didn't quite feel right to be airing her thoughts to him, but maybe she just needed to get things off of her chest. Maybe doing that would finally let her sleep. "And all of this because Skyclan found out about Dawnhawk... It wasn't like we knew about what he'd done before."

Smallbean listened in silence as Swiftspirit spoke. He hadn't thought that something like that would be keeping the she-cat awake. The shame that came with being rescued was something that he'd never experienced, and if he had, he didn't remember.

"Every cat makes mistakes sometimes, and yours is no different." He said slowly, thinking about his words carefully. Thoughts of Cedarheart entered his mind- his own mistake. "That's alright, though. I'm sure the Riverclanner didn't mind, he was just doing his duty, yeah? The important thing is that we're all okay- well, as okay as we can be after a battle like that." At the thought of the other injured warriors, he raised his head and swept his gaze over them once more, making sure they were all alright before laying down again.

At this point Smallbean was fighting to keep his eyes open. "It's all said and done, I hope. The last thing I want is another battle like that. Hopefully Dawnhawk is gone for good so we can leave this all behind." Even if Smallbean didn't think that Dawnhawk was a bad cat anymore, he couldn't help but feel glad that he had left. Now that he wasn't staying in Windclan, Skyclan should leave them alone.

"You're right, I just... Wish I could've done more." Needing to be rescued like a damsel in distress... Swiftspirit definitely didn't like that feeling. And yet part of her was strangely grateful that if it had to be anyone, it was Bearspirit.

"Hopefully that's the last of it we see for a while." She agreed softly, "And... At least one of us deserves to get some sleep, Smallbean." She'd noticed that he could barely keep his eyes open, and the same could not be said of her. Talking had helped a little bit, and maybe it would be enough to at least nudge her brain in that direction.

"Oh, are you sure?" Smallbean was still unsure about falling asleep before his patients, but if Swiftspirit insisted, he might as well. "Just promise to wake me up if you feel any discomfort or pain, alright. Wake me up if you need anything for that matter." Casting one more glance in Swiftspirits direction, he turned toward the den wall, letting his eyes close. It didn't take much time at all for him to drift into his dreams, being lulled to sleep by the soft breathing of his clanmates