Spottedpaw's Moonstone Journey

Grumbling at the early hour, Beechface stalked from her den with two bundles of herbs in her maw, tail tip twitching back and forth as she strode across the clearing toward the apprentice den and ducked beneath the entrance.

"Spottedpaw, up." She bit out, not at all thrilled that she'd be spending the next two days alone with her so-called half-sibling. As far as Beechface was concerned, none of them were family and neither was Briarthorn, but she'd do what was asked of her. She'd be civil, and nothing more. Beechface quickly backed out of the den, pacing back and forth while the apprentice deigned to make an appearance.

"Eat these and let's go. We're on a time limit and the sun is going to be out sooner rather than later." She made no attempt to warn Spottedpaw of the bitter taste, only turned and ate her own portion of the traveling herbs. She wasn't lying about wanting to move quickly. Once they hit the moors, there would be no relief from the sun at all, and with both cats having long, thick fur, they were going to suffer for it.

The medicine cat turned, stalking out of camp. Spottedpaw would follow, she had no other choice if she wanted to keep her whiskers.

At her name, Spottedpaw's head snapped up, and she stared around, groggily, her heart racing in surprise, her sleep-addled brain refusing to un-fuzz the edges of her vision for several minutes following the wake-up call. When finally they did, and she put together some semblance of a reason for being awake this early, she stumbled outside, not taking any care to not trip on her siblings. If she had to be awake, so too could they, whatever the reason.

But she wasn't greeted by Juniperlight, or anyone else she expected to see, when she entered the camp... instead it was Beechface, and judging by her more-than-usual grumpy face, she wasn't happy. Spottedpaw pinned her ears, staring down at the bundle of herbs that had hardly been explained to her at all. Trusting the medicine cat to mean well, Spottedpaw gulped them down, nearly gagging at the bitter taste. When she finished, she shook her head, saliva welling up from her protesting tastebuds, and raked her tongue across her teeth to try and dispel it. She hardly had time to think, though, before Beechface took off after camp, calling her to follow.

...

It wasn't until they'd made it halfway across SkyClan's territory in a stony, awkward silence, that Spottedpaw realized what was happening. She must be going to the Moonstone, to speak with StarClan! At that realization, she immediately perked up, her ears forward, a significant pep in her step. No longer intimidated by the medicine cat's silence, Spottedpaw gave it another minute or two before she spoke up. "How come you're always so mad at us? Me an' Newtpaw an' Bearpaw an' Maplepaw?" she asked boldly. Truth be told she didn't remember ever seeing Beechface look happy, but... she and her siblings seemed to get the brunt of it, and she wanted to understand why.

Beechface kept a brisk pace through Skyclan territory, and Spottedpaw to her credit kept quiet. Until she didn't, and her question only soured Beechface's mood further. It was bad enough she had to spend time with her, she didn't want to have to talk any more than necessary. Her ears flattened at Spottedpaw's words, a flash of indignation making her fur feel too warm. What did she care about Beechface's feelings? All she was was the grumpy medicine cat. Her jaw clenched, the medicine cat wanting very much to ignore the apprentice who had no clue what she was asking.

"Mad? At you?" She unclenched her jaw and spat. The words bubbled forth despite her not wanting to speak to this living, breathing reminder of everything that was wrong in the clan.

"Dad was half dead and insane when we got him away from the asylum. It took moons for him to even get somewhat healthy again. You know what the first thing he did was, maybe a week after he returned? Dump my mother when he was barely coherent and not thinking clearly. A few moons later he's bringing a Shadowclanner into the clan because he got her pregnant, and I'm expected to be helpful and treat her like a clanmate when she's not." Beechface growled, tail lashing back and forth. "He cast half the clan aside for you. I don't even recognize him anymore."

The moment Beechface's voice raised, Spottedpaw halted, putting on the brakes and coming to a complete stop, where she stood, her own eyes shining with affront. She flattened her ears, suddenly feeling angry and hurt but most of all confused. She didn't know what the Asylum was, only that she'd heard it whispered here and there, and that the older cats tried to keep her and her siblings ignorant about the grown-up talk.

Tears threatened her eyes, and Spottedpaw opened her mouth to speak, bottom lip quivering with an emotion somewhere between anger and pain. "I am SkyClan!" she protested shakily. "And... and it's not fair for you to be mean to us when it's really Dad who hurt your feelings." Spottedpaw's brow furrowed, and she lashed her fluffy tail so fiercely that she slapped it against her own haunch. "If Maplepaw stepped on my tail, I wouldn't go around blaming Newtpaw because that's just dumb... and so are you! I wish you weren't my sister!"

Still shaking, though now she didn't know if it was anger or distress, Spottedpaw took off at a brisk pace in the general direction that they had been heading. She didn't know if she was going the right way, but she assumed Beechface would correct her, if she wasn't. And if she didn't, well... looked like Spottedpaw would have to find her own way to the Moonstone.

It dawned on Beech that maybe, just maybe, she should have been yelling at Bloodstrike instead. Too late now, and Beechface... Didn't really care what Spottedpaw's feelings were on the matter. She was a relative, not family. She'd never consider any of them family.

Spottedpaw blustered on about fairness, and Beechface's lip curled in response. "Life isn't fair. We agree on that much. You think I wanted to wake up and have to deal with a half-bred mongrel, a living, breathing reminder of that? We aren't sisters." That living, breathing reminder was Spottedpaw... And Beechface didn't care if her words cut deeply. Maybe it would convince Spottedpaw to not ask stupid questions for the rest of the journey. Maybe it would convince her to stay out of her way back at camp. Both of those seemed like perfectly good ideas to Beechface.

Spottedpaw attempted to run off, and Beechface growled in annoyance. She quickened her pace, and with her longer legs was able to close the gap between them easily. "This way." She bit out gruffly, stalking past the apprentice to lead her in the right direction. Starclan forbid she let the apprentice run off and get herself hurt, no. She'd do her duty to the clan, as much as she despised it. Just like she always did.

Her body racked with shivers and tiny sobs, Spottedpaw ignored Beechface's words the best she could, though her ears burned with shame and humiliation as they cut deep, deeper than claws ever could. She'd known for a long time that SkyClan didn't necessarily approve of she and her siblings, but it didn't seem fair! They were innocent of any crime other than being born, and for Beechface to be so cruel was just...

So Spottedpaw just walked, sucking in ragged gulps of air between sobs that she made no effort to contain. What did it matter, anyway? Beechface's opinion of her couldn't possibly be any lower. By the time the two reached the Mothermouth, the apprentice's eyes were dry and red, and her sobs had devolved into the occasional hiccup. Any awe she may have felt at the gaping mouth that sloped into the earth was blocked by the thick cloud of darkness that engulfed her heart. She hurt. Her head and her heart ached. And she just wanted to go home.

They walked, and Spottedpaw's sobbing made the grouchy medicine cat pause. She'd meant for her words to hurt, Spottedpaw needed to understand that they weren't family and never would be... But there was a part of Beechface that felt a little bit guilty. She was just an apprentice, and doubtless if she told Bloodstrike what had happened she'd get an earful. Not that Bloodstrike's opinion mattered, at all. Her ears flicked back and her tail lowered, though Beechface's posture remained stiff as the pair continued to walk in mostly silence.

"Spottedpaw..." She began as they finally approached mothermouth, then stopped. The apprentice's sobbing had faded into the occasional hiccup, her eyes were red and puffy. Beechface shook her head. An apology wouldn't fix anything, and would be mostly insincere anyways.

"Just... stick close to me. Touch your nose to the moonstone and lay down when we get there." She said finally, then turned to lead the apprentice down the dark tunnel that led to the moonstone.

As Beechface neared her, Spottedpaw pulled away, her ears slicking back and eyes shining with indignant accusation. She would never forgive her sis- no, the medicine cat- for this. And if she never had to talk to her again, it would be too soon. So she stuck to one side of the tunnel, just a fox length or so behind Beechface on the other side, as they descended into the depths. Before too long, ahead, a shimmering, flashing light lit up the cavern, and despite herself, Spottedpaw hesitated, her eyes tracing the shape of the Moonstone, the hair at the back of her neck prickling.

This was it, then..? Spottedpaw took another step, and then another, her paws carrying her towards the stone. Making sure to keep enough distance from Beechface, Spottedpaw approached... settling down on to her belly and reaching forward to touch her nose against the smooth stone.

Lion’s Eye approached the materializing apprentice, his signature soft smile replaced by a worried frown. “Come here, Spottedpaw.” It wasn’t a command; it was a gentle mumble of comfort. He stepped close enough to rub his cheek against the top of her head. “Beechface was unfair to you. Your parentage is not your fault, and she knows better. Spottedpaw, you will never be responsible for another cat’s words or actions unless you accept the role of leadership. Please, let’s move on to something better. Can I answer any questions for you?” He purred, gentle energy radiating from his soft sand-colored pelt.

When Spottedpaw opened her eyes, she wasn't in the tunnel with Beechface anymore. Initially, confusion flickered across her face, but at Lion's Eye's soothing voice, she stumbled forward, seeking comfort from the starry cat as if she'd known him all her life. Her dry eyes grew wet once more, and a few more sniffles and sobs nearly drowned out his words. But she did hear him, and once it felt like she'd cried enough, Spottedpaw pulled away, twisting to wipe her eyes on her shoulder and finally looking up at the pale-coated tom.

She didn't recognize him... but then, this was StarClan, right? How could she? Spottedpaw met his gaze with an expression full of hurt. "She h-hates me because dad hurt her feelings... it's not f-fair," she sniffed. "She doesn't think that w-we belong in SkyClan, but... dad is the deputy! You can hardly get more Sk-SkyClan than th-that." Her sobs had dissolved into hiccups, and her ears still slicked back against her skull.

Spottedpaw took a long, shaky breath, trying to steady her breathing. When finally she thought she could do so without sobbing again, she spoke, eyes shining as she stared up at him. "I've been thinking about... maybe going to ShadowClan..." she stared down at her paws, shame burning her ears once more. "I'm half ShadowClan, right? So... it wouldn't be wrong..?" Confused, she refused to look up and meet his eyes, too afraid to see shame reflected back at her.