And I felt so small (closed for Cotton)

Standing outside of the medicine cat den, stood Spotlake, peering in to see her son. The two really hadn't had a chance to talk much recently, and Spotlake wanted to change that. After all, Smallbean was some of the few remaining kin she had , and her only kit that was still alive.

The calico she-cat then took in a deep breath, before padding inside. "Hello? Smallbean?" Spotlake called to her son softly. While the medicine cat den was small, and it was probably likely that he would've known that she was there, Spotlake still wanted to be polite. Plus she slightly worried that he might've very been focused, and didn't want to startle him.

For the past few days- or maybe a moon had passed already- it seemed like all Smallbean could do was think. As he usually did, he sat inside the medicine den, scanning and sorting though herb piles that really didn't need to be sorted through. He busied his paws in an attempt to separate himself from his thoughts, but it seemed as though his mind only ran faster. His trouble was obvious by the way he silently muttered to himself, the silent words accompanied by an occasional shake of his head. His encounter with Shrikesong at fourtrees had resurfaced many feelings that he thought were long gone by now. Guilt, regret, dread. After he had ended things with Cedarheart all those moons ago he had chosen to forget anything every happened, avoiding anything that could potentially remind him of it. He hadn't thought of how being a medicine cat was something that could effect him that way.

The sound of footsteps broke his thoughts, a familiar voice following. "M.. mom?" He turned around to meet his mothers gaze, thankful for her visit. He needed something to distract him and he had been meaning to spend more time with her lately. He felt guilty due to how long it had been since they had been out on a walk or something, it was much harder to get himself outside the den now since he became a medicine cat. His focused expression quickly melted into a genuine smile as he approached the older she-cat, pressing his face into her shoulder for a brief moment before withdrawing. "Is there any particular reason you visited?" He asked, pausing for a moment before continuing. "Not that I don't enjoy you being here! It's just that I didn't know if you needed something specific." His words were rushed as he tired to reassure his mother. "Y'know, i've been meaning to spend some more time with you, I really have... Maybe I could show you what I do in here all day?" He offered, turning away fro a brief moment.

"I wanted to spend some time with my son, that's all." She said, as he questioned why. A soft smile came to Spotlake's maw, as she shook her tail. "It's okay. Plus I'd love to see what you do in here!"

Delighted that she had accepted his offer, Smallbean eagerly turned toward the herb piles, his previous worries temporarily forgotten. "Ok, so..." he began, whipping his head around to look at Spotlake, making eye contact with her for a moment before looking back to the herbs, signaling for her to join him with a flick of his tail. He only resumed speaking once she had joined his side. "I'll probably teach you about herbs that you can find here on Windclan territory. You probably already know about poppy seeds and cobwebs, maybe even dandelions." He raised his paw to his muzzle as he thought. "Perhaps..." He said slowly. "I could teach you about goldenrod. I have no doubt you know what it looks like, it's all over the moors, but it's also useful for healing wounds." Pausing, he reached into one of the many crevasses that were scattered about the den walls and floor, pulling out a long plant that bore many yellow flowers. "What you would do is chew it up until it's a paste, then apply it to open wounds to help them heal. Any questions so far?" He smiled as he spoke, excited to share his knowledge with someone. Stars, he missed having Softbreeze around in the medicine den, having just himself for company was getting tiring.

Spotlake padded up to her son's side, looking down at the wide arrangement of herbs. She listened closely, as Smallbean explained Goldenrod, and it's uses. "I only have question." Spotlake meowed, as Smallbean asked if she had any questions. "When did my little kit get so good at being a medicine cat?" She asked, nuzzling the top of her son's head.

Smallbean leaned into his mother's touch, a small laugh escaping him. He realized now how much he missed spending time with her, how he longed for the days back when he was but a warrior's apprentice and even the moons before that. "Thanks, mom." He replied, his tone soft. Taking the silence that briefly fell between the two as a queue to move on, he set the goldenrod back into it's crevice. "Moving on, I could show you what blackberry leaves can do." His eyes instinctively fell to where he kept the blackberry leaves. Picking up the delicate leaf between his claws, he showed it to his mother, staring at it for a moment before explaining how it can be used. "Blackberry leaves don't have many uses, but they're helpful for soothing bee stings. I've been using them more often recently." The last sentence was spoken under his breath, thinking about how many bees have been showing up with the coming for hot weather- especially near the flower fields. He waited in silence to see if Spotlake had anything to say.

Purring softly as her son laughed, Spotlake felt overwhelming joy. She was happy to be spending time with Smallbean. "No problem." Spotlake mewed. After a brief silence, Spotlake saw that Smallbean had taken out a new herb. It looked similar to the leaves that were on the berry bushes, she saw sometimes on patrols. Blackberry leaves. Was that what the berry bushes were called? The more you know.

"Yea I've been seeing a lot more of the younger cats with stings. I'm glad to know you can fix them up in a jiffy." Spotlake said, praising her son a bit. How could she not? He had come so far, despite all the hardships he faced. She was proud of him for that.

The spiky leaves were absentmindedly being passed back and forth between his paws as he spoke."Yeah, it sure is a time saver. Imagine if a bee sting had to be treated like a normal wound." He shook his head at the thought. If bee stings required such care and attention, he'd surely be a lot busier. There were many things that he disliked about newleaf when he was a warrior, but now he was a medicine cat he can add bee stings to the list. "I might show you one or two more..." he trailed off, losing himself in thought once more herbs. The blackberry leaves were returned to their pile, and a new herb took it's place; a plant that had jagged leaves and a cluster of red-pink flowers at the top. "This is burnet." he stated, holding it up by the stem. "It's found in grassy meadows and is used to slow bleeding. It also boosts stamina, which makes it useful for cats who need to go long distances or cats who are feeling fatigued. You simply eat this one, no poultices or anything." He finished, scanning over the herb stocks for the herb. It seemed as though he would need to go out and get more soon, perhaps a herb hunt was in order. He had to admit, going over the herbs with his mother helped him remember what he needed to look for next time he was out.

"Yea and I'd bet that'd also take a lot of resources." Spotlake meowed, before she glance over to the next herb Smallbean brought out. It was a pretty flower, one that Spotlake had seen before. "Yea I've seen that near the flower fields! Me and your father would sometimes admire them, and even grabbed some of them when we were younger!" Spotlake said, reminiscing on those times, back when everything wasn't too complicated. It was just nice and simple, and filled with pretty flowers.