rearrange the stars [o]

Ever since her appointment as ThunderClan's deputy, there had been a little extra spring in Batbite's step. It was exciting, in a way, to have something new to do; she'd never been especially fond of responsibility, admittedly, but she was doing all she could to support her mate and following in the pawsteps of two of the cats she'd loved and respected most. As much as she wanted desperately to make her own path, it was reassuring to know that there was something to lean on and look back to.

Bitter and disillusioned as she often became with the system that governed their lives, it was still standing despite all it had been through; and if nothing else, then she wanted to do right by the cats that made up her clan and her family. She would diverge from the path set before her at some point, she knew that with complete certainty, but when and how remained a mystery - how best to right what was wrong, to fix what had failed her, to gain and keep the trust and respect of those she was meant to care for?

(Was it possible to do right by them, while still doing right by herself? It was a curious problem, one she'd started poking and prodding at from different angles in her mind; she wanted something more than most, something different and strange, but she'd chosen the ordinary and familiar all the same. There had to be a place where the two sides could meet, some kind of compromise, but she hadn't found it yet.)

Still, she couldn't shake all her boredom, as hard as she tried. She assigned patrols and organized apprenticeships, fulfilled whatever other duties were required of her, helped with some of what needed doing; but at the end of it all, she was left once more with nothing to do but stare at the sky with her usual veiled expression, almost as if it might have an answer to give if she only did so long enough.

Mossbloom had been looking over the fresh-kill pile intently, trying to decide what she wanted to eat. Her stomach had been aching recently, but she attributed that to the night's chill. Eh, one missed meal wouldn't kill her, she was still fairly young compared to most elders, and in pretty decent condition. She couldn't help but wonder if that could be because of the sheer amount of herbs she had consumed over her moons serving as ThunderClan's medicine cat. As she turned away, she spotted Batbite sitting nearby, staring up at the sky with her usual expression. Padding quietly up to her, Mossbloom mewed a soft greeting. "Hi, Batbite. I hope you're doing well? You seem to be settling into your duties well."

Blinking rapidly as her attention was caught by something far more present than the distant sky, Batbite quickly realized it was the presence of an old friend that had interrupted her thoughts. "Hey, Moss," she returned the easy greeting. "As well as can expected, I suppose. It's not something I ever expected - not when I was older and started to realize what it really meant - so it's not like it's something I planned for." It was always nice to talk to Mossbloom - to talk to any of her old friends. It felt easy in a way things rarely did. "It's a lot less eventful than I would have thought, at least so far. Did you ever find that? I know it's different, but - it's still the same, in the end."

Deputy, leader, medicine cat; each a different responsibility, but no less important. Meant to serve their Clan as best they could, to dedicate all of themselves to their tasks more than even the most devoted warriors. Her eyes shifted momentarily to study the Highrock, seeing through it to the place where she now slept along with her mate; to consider how they'd wound up in this position.

All too quickly, though, her gaze returned to Mossbloom. A moment of honesty, with someone she knew she could trust. "I just wonder, sometimes. If the reason it makes me so nervous is just because of who I am, or if it's just... If it's something else."

She had a good idea of what it might have been (what it almost definitely was), but that was a secret she would continue to keep. Vulnerability, yes, but not too much. It wasn't that she didn't trust Mossbloom - she did, with her life, and she'd had to rely on that on more than one occasion - but more a hesitation to open up further. She wore her heart on her face more often than not, but the serious things - the lingering fears and anxieties - those were buried beneath the laughter and teasing, to keep things light and easy.

"It doesn't matter now, anyway."

It would matter again, eventually. For now, at least, this was just fine.

"I'm sure. I didn't ever think that I would see two leaders, let alone four. It's certainly been a series of rapid changes." The elder settled next to Batbite, turning her gaze up to where the other she-cat had been looking. "Yes, I did find that at times. It seems to come in waves, like the seasons. You'll have periods where there's always something going on, and it seems like a constant, never-ending tide. But then there's other times, like now, where it's relatively quiet and calm. I kind of hope it lasts, we've had enough turmoil recently."

Batbite's gaze shifted towards Highrock, and Mossbloom followed her gaze before their eyes met again after a moment. She admitted a sense of nervousness, and Mossbloom nodded slightly. "I don't think it's any one thing, really. At least, it wasn't for me - although I can't say for certain that it's the same for you. That's something for you to find out and know for yourself; although if you ever want or need to talk about anything, I'll be here to listen." Mossbloom drew her tail in close over her paws, content to sit next to an old friend for a while longer. "How does Minkstream seem to be doing?"

"It feels strange, to remember what I once thought life would look like," she admitted. "It's just so different. Still, you're probably right - I shouldn't worry about things being boring, it just means more time to be ready for whatever happens next. There's always something on the horizon, it's best to be prepared." In Batbite's opinion, they'd all been caught off-guard a few times too many over the seasons; from her own adventures in the Twolegplace as an apprentice to the more recent threat of Asylum, and all the things between.

"As for Minkstream... He's as stubborn as ever, I suppose." She sighed, looking down to her paws. "I've been trying to keep an eye on him, at least. If nothing else, this has made that a bit easier... But as much as it's frustrating, I can't really blame him. I can't say for sure whether I'd handle it differently, but..." She was fairly confident, by now, that she wouldn't. She was often just as stubborn, after all. "Things will surely sort themselves out eventually. And if they don't, well... We'll make it work."

"He always was a pawful, that is for certain. I don't envy you your position, but I think you're doing a great job. They'd be proud of you." Mossbloom mewed softly. "At the end of the day, that's all you can do. Prepare for what you can, and accept that what comes will come. We'll figure it out, we always do." Mossbloom purred, looking back up towards the sky. "More often than not, especially recently, it feels as though we're left to figure it out alone. That's just fine though."

Batbite nodded slowly. "We're usually left on our own when it really matters, at least in my experience. The stars guide us, sure, but more often than not we're the ones left to save ourselves in the end. Still, maybe that's the way it should be - relying on ourselves and one another, instead of waiting for someone else to be our savior. Sometimes it's inevitable... But we should still try to avoid it where we can."

"I've observed a similar trend as well. They fall silent when we look to them for help, but then seem to swoop to our rescue when we gather ourselves and each other up. The stars are mysterious, and I don't believe they intend it that way... But it's how it comes across. Especially when they are then given most of the credit for the success. They take the credit when they did little to nothing, instead riding on the backs of the cats who made real sacrifices. I know they're there, and there are many I hold dear to my heart and I'm certain don't agree with the way things are done, but... I can't claim to understand it all. Even with all my moons of experience in speaking to our ancestors, I don't have all the answers. They often leave me with far more questions." Mossbloom sighed and brushed Batbite's shoulder lightly with her tail. "You two will do great though, I know it. ThunderClan has always been strong, and rebounded quickly. I know that we're in good paws with you and Minkstream guiding us."