Falling [Blossomstep]

Beechface entered her den, tail tip flicking in annoyance as she set the bundle of herbs she'd managed to find down and carefully unwrapped them. She hadn't found nearly enough, but that was leaf-bare for you. The snows had killed most of the plants she needed, and they wouldn't start growing consistently for another moon or so.

The medicine cat sat, slowly sorting through the herbs. Thyme, raspberry leaves, goldenrod... No, what she'd found was not nearly enough. She'd just have to make do with what she had. Maybe if the clans weren't being held hostage in their own territories she could've asked one of the other medicine cats for herbs, but the Asylum wouldn't allow that. No, they took, but they'd never lift a paw to help. Of course, they were more than happy to cause problems...

Her ears flicked back in aggravation. Sorting through the meager herbs she'd found had taken no time at all, and there was precious little to distract the medicine cat from her own thoughts. She'd caught sight of Birdpaw and Ravenclaw as she'd entered camp, but hadn't approached. The apprentice seemed more intimidated by her than anything, and Ravenclaw...

Dwelling on it did nothing but make her feel worse. It should have been her raising the kits, not Ravenclaw. Ravenclaw hadn't deserved to be dragged into her drama. She hadn't been the one to break the code, and the kits deserved to know who their real mother was. And yet, Beechface was stuck. Her duties had kept her so busy that the only time she had even spent near the nursery was when she tried to coax Smokefeather to eat.

And that was just another thing in the long list of problems. The medicine cat couldn't remember ever feeling so worn before. The temptation to curl up in her nest and attempt to sleep before the next problem reared its' ugly head was strong.

So of course, her ears picked up on the sound of pawsteps at the entrance to the den. The medicine cat sighed, reluctantly glancing towards the entrance to the den.

Blossomstep approached the medicine den with a small leaf in her jaws. Her mouth was watering with the effort it had been to carry the leaf so gingerly, but she knew it would be worth it. She recognized these herbs from when Honeysong, then Honeypaw, had healed the wounds she got from a snake. The plant with small yellow leaves had been among the trees as she did the border patrol, and she hadn't passed up the opportunity to collect the tansy. A sigh met her ears as she entered the den to find Beechface already looking towards her. She blinked as she registered the state her granddaughter was in, and concern filled her expression as she hastily moved forward and set the leaf down on the ground. "Hi, Beechface. How are you doing dear?" She asked, pressing her head to the medicine cat's shoulder. "I don't know what exactly it is, but I recalled Honeysong using it on me before, so when I came across it on my patrol I grabbed what I could to bring to you. I hope it helps." She mewed, gesturing towards the bundle with her tail.

Beechface watched as Blossomstep entered the den, concerned gaze taking in the older warrior. She visibly relaxed at realizing her grandmother wasn't injured, gratefully leaning into her touch for a moment.

"I'm fine, just... tired, I guess." She mewed. Blossomstep didn't need someone else to worry over.

"It's tansy, cures poisons and can help prevent greencough." It was a shame that it wouldn't cure the poison that had the clan in a death grip, but even the small amount of the rather versatile plant was a welcome addition to her herb stores.

"Most warriors wouldn't know or think to grab it." She mused, carefully picking up the herb and placing it among what little tansy that still remained. It wasn't enough, but it helped make the pile look a bit less pathetic, at the very least. The medicine cat's gaze flicked over the rest of the herbs, noting in dismay how small most of the carefully-made bundles were.

There was a larger bundle shoved far toward the back of the herb store, carefully wrapped in ivy leaves, though it didn't contain any herbs. Beechface's gaze lingered on it for perhaps a heartbeat longer than it should've. One day the truth would come out, but she wasn't fool enough to condemn the clan to death for the sake of vengeance, or so Beechface told herself. If Smokefeather said the word, she would have in a heartbeat. They'd argued about it, and Beechface had given in if only to try and ease her mother's mind. Dwelling on it wasn't helping ease her mind in the slightest.

Her tail flicked in frustration at the thought. She couldn't tell Blossomstep or even Wrenspring. Ideally she'd just not think about it, but that was proving to be a lost cause. A distraction would help for a little while... And something Blossomstep had said had caught her attention.

"Honeysong... She was Sagelight's apprentice before me, right?" Beechface asked, gaze returning to her grandmother curiously.

"I'm sure you are, Beechface. Have you been sleeping alright? I can keep an eye on the den for you while you rest, if you'd like?" She offered, concerned for her granddaughter's well-being. She watched silently as Beechface placed the tansy among the rest of the herbs, trying to store what she explained. "Honeysong must have been worried the snake was venomous, then. I certainly didn't have a cough or anything." She purred, recalling the warm day that they had gone out together. So lost was she in her memories that she didn't take notice of the moment of hesitation, and returned her focus to the medicine cat as she turned back towards her. She nodded slowly in response to Beechface's question. "Yes, she was. She was my best friend." She mewed softly, ear flicking slightly as the sense of grief returned. It had been moons since she had last seen Honeysong, but she refused to believe that the she-cat was truly gone.

"Not really." She admitted with a grimace. How could she tell her grandmother that she saw Dawnhawk killing an innocent kit when she closed her eyes? The clan believed him to be some sort of twisted savior, and those who knew the truth had been threatened into silence. Featherkit had been helpless. Defenseless. And Beechface hadn't been able to stop him. Her duty was to keep her clanmates safe and she had failed.

"It's one of the more versatile herbs, good looking out." Stars knew she'd need more of it soon enough.

A myriad of questions ran through Beechface's mind at the mention of Honeysong once being her grandmother's friend, but the medicine cat found she had the energy to ask precisely none of them. She could tell Blossomstep still grieved her disappearance, and had little desire to reopen whatever wounds might've still lingered.

Blossomstep blinked as she looked at her grandkit's troubled expression, moving close to rub her shoulder to Beechface's. "It's all been a lot to take in, and deal with. I'm sorry, Beechface. As silly as it is, I always hoped that my kits and all future generations would not know grief in this way. If you ever want to talk, about anything at all, I'm here. Even if you just want to walk together. Alright?" She mewed, brushing her tail against the medicine cat's haunches lightly. She couldn't force the she-cat to tell her what was troubling her, but she could let her know that she was here whenever she was ready and willing.

"I'm happy to hear it, and even more so to help. If you let me know what to keep an eye out for, I'll do my best on future patrols as well!" Blossomstep mewed, relaxing and sitting down next to Beechface. She was quiet for a while, simply enjoying the time that she had with Beechface, before she started talking again. "Have you ever heard about the time I disobeyed Spottedstar?"

"Thanks, I... appreciate that." She mewed. Telling Blossomstep was of course, far too risky. Beechface had made the mistake of thinking there were lines that Dawnhawk wouldn't cross, and she'd been proven so very wrong. He'd betrayed dad, betrayed the clan... Murdered a kit for no other reason than he could (regardless of what had been said that night, Featherkit was innocent and defenseless.) If the gold and silver traitor said he'd bring the entire clan down if word of what had truly happened got out, by Starclan, Beechface believed him.

"I've gone through most of our supply of marigold, but that mostly grows by the river and on Riverclan's territory. Sometimes I find it near the creek, but not enough of it. Especially not in leafbare." She said wryly, indicating the golden-flowered plant with a careful forepaw. "Goldenrod, as well, though it grows in more open areas." Both were good for treating infections, and with the amount of small fights clanmates had gotten into recently (and her own half-healed wounds) the plants had been needed. Ideally she could have asked Spiderquill or Softbreeze, much as she'd disliked interacting with the Riverclan and Windclan medicine cats beyond herb exchanges, they were generous and more helpful than she'd admit. Of course, asking other medicine cats for herbs wasn't an option, they were held hostage in their own territory just as Skyclan was. She wondered if Spiderquill was even alive or in Riverclan. The revelation she'd received before the Asylum had shown up had concerned her, though she wouldn't have admitted it to the talkative Riverclanner.

"I never thought I'd wish for warmer weather, everything else is more readily available on our territory... If it's not killed by the cold. I know you're a warrior and you have more important things to look out for when patrolling but..." Another set of eyes looking out for some of her more used herbs would be good. Though if there weren't herbs to be found, there simply wouldn't be herbs for another cat to find. Still, it would be helpful. Blossomstep was talking again, and Beechface flicked an ear in her direction, her words catching her attention.

"Disobeyed Spottedstar? What did you do?" Beechface was more curious than she'd admit about that. She hadn't known Spottedstar well, or even at all, really, before he'd disappeared. All she had known was that her parents had never really liked him, and that they'd both thought Wolfstar would have made a better leader. With the state Skyclan was in, Beechface wasn't so sure they were right on the last, but she'd never had any way to compare Spottedstar and Wolfstar as leaders, either. Blossomstep had never struck Beechface as the type to willfully disobey orders, so she truly must not have agreed with whatever decision she had turned against.

"Of course dear." Blossomstep mewed, tail curling around her paws again. She listened intently to what herbs Beechface mentioned, carefully scenting each one in turn and looking them over. "I will definitely keep an eye out for them! It's not all that much trouble at all, I'm happy to help." She purred before returning to her story. Tucking her paws under her, she started to share her tale. "I'm sure you've heard mentions of the Righteous Few, and what they did to the clans. They wanted to purify us, as they put it, basically forcing cats to return to their home clans and killing any who dared disobey. Torrentstar of RiverClan and Thornstar of ShadowClan both lost their lives at their claws. They descended upon the clans at my first gathering as a warrior, and demanded the clans stand down... Spottedstar agreed. He ordered SkyClan to return to camp, and leave the fighting to the other clans. I didn't return with the clan, however. I thought that was wrong, and worried about what it would mean for us if the clans lost, and the Righteous Few emerged victorious. So I chose to stay, against Spottedstar's orders. Wolfstar, then deputy, remained with me, despite his better judgement." A tinge of bitterness coated her words with that statement before she twitched her tail and continued. "It was a difficult battle, and I thought I was going to meet StarClan, but then the calico medicine cat of ThunderClan... Moss-something was her name, patched me up and I felt so much better. When we returned, we got a tongue-lashing by Spottedstar, but... It was worth it, in my opinion. I understand where he was coming from, but... Well, sometimes we have to decide for ourselves what we think is the right thing to do, even if it goes against what we're told to do, and we have to follow it. I wouldn't have been able to live with myself had the other clans lost and we were left alone to stand up to them, so I fought alongside them."

Beechface settled onto her haunches, focusing on her grandmother as she told the story. She'd heard of the Righteous Few, though had heard little about the actual battle that had taken place at fourtrees. Probably, she realized, this was because Spottedstar had withdrawn his clan from the fight. Still, as Blossomstep spoke, the decision puzzled Beechface.

"With everything I've heard, withdrawing from the fight seems like such an obviously bad choice, though. Did he expect that the Few would just leave Skyclan alone if they'd managed to defeat the other clans?" And had any of the other clans withdrawn, would they have been able to overcome the Righteous Few at all? Beechface decided, listening to her grandmother, that fighting them had been the right thing to do.

The medicine cat listened as Blossomstep continued recounting what had happened, eyes widening a bit at the details she hadn't known. It must have been terrifying to experience!

"Mossbloom?" She was a bit surprised to hear about a cat that sounded familiar, and Beechface figured it had to be her that had patched Blossomstep up. "She finished my training after Sagelight died... She was always nice." She'd liked the Thunderclanner despite herself, she'd been someone stable, someone who allowed her to find her footing and continue on after Sagelight had died.

With the Asylum around, would she even see the old medicine cat again? The thought of that not being the case was saddening. Of the medicine cats, Mossbloom had come close to being... not quite a friend, but she was someone Beechface could look up to. Someone she'd actually liked being around.

Blossomstep chuckled lightly. "I believe that's what he thought. That if the other clans had fallen, SkyClan would be looked upon favorably. The other clans were furious with his choice, understandably so. I was surprised when Ivystar granted us permission to stay in RiverClan after the fire..." Mossbloom... That name sounded right. "Yes, I think that's it. White paws, I think? That was most of what I saw of her before she disappeared again. I'm glad to hear that she helped you, too!" She paused for a moment, taking in the change in atmosphere. "I'm sure it won't be long before we can see the other clans again. At the next Gathering, why don't you properly introduce me? I'd love to give my thanks to the cat that saved my life." She added, hoping to both soothe Beechface and also to try to give both of them something to look forward to.

"Wasn't dad angry with that choice, too? He said something about Spottedstar when we found the river dried up and had to go to twolegplace, right?" Beechface had been too preoccupied at the time, but her father's anger had always stuck out to her. She had never understood why he held such disdain for the old leader, but now things were starting to make a bit more sense.

"Yeah, she has white paws." Beechface nodded. She wasn't sure that she shared Blossomstep's optimism about going to a gathering soon. The Asylum... Would their occupation ever end? She hoped it would, but hoping wasn't doing much, at the moment.

"I hope you're right... If we ever get to see the other clans again I'll make sure you get a proper introduction." Was Starclan as silent as they were with her to the other medicine cats? Beechface recalled her conversation with Mossbloom thoughtfully. Maybe they were. The older medicine cat hadn't seemed like she put such faith in them as some other cats did, and Beechface could agree with that. Come to think of it, Bloodstrike hadn't either, even Dawnhawk, for all his faults, wasn't exactly wrong in his hatred of them, though Beechface would disagree with almost anything else he did or said until her dying breath.

"When he learned of it, he was. Your father hadn't been born yet, it was shortly after the battle that I found out I was expecting kits. I never told your grandfather that there was a very real chance that I was fighting not only for my life but theirs as well. Your father included." She pushed a paw mindlessly through the dirt in the medicine den, letting out a low laugh. "You're actually the first cat I've told, so I'd appreciate it if you kept it a secret for me. Wolfstar and I still aren't... Well, we still haven't talked since..." She sighed, ears flattening against her head as she looked away, biting her tongue. The pain of their argument was still fresh, and the warring emotions of love and anger was bitter. Choosing to focus instead on Beechface's words, Blossomstep nodded. "Thank you, Beechface. I appreciate it." A sound near the entrance of the medicine den preceded the face of an asylum cat peeking in, and Blossomstep's eyes narrowed slightly as they motioned for her. With a sigh, she got to her paws. "I suppose I'm being summoned for another patrol. I'll keep an eye out for those herbs you mentioned, marigold and golden...rod? I think that was it. I'll see you soon, okay?" Blossomstep nudged her granddaughter's shoulder once more before taking a couple steps forward and looking back. "Also... You're doing a great job. I'm so proud of you."

Beechface could only throw her grandmother a look of surprise as she spoke. She'd been pregnant with dad at the time... She almost laughed at the irony of it. Beechface had been pregnant when she'd attacked Dawnhawk in the nursery, trying to do the right thing. Blossomstep had stayed to fight the Righteous Few because she'd believed it was the right thing. She'd thought (and everyone said) she had gotten her stubbornness and temper from her Bloodstrike, but maybe she and Blossomstep were more similar than she'd realized. It was a strange thought, Beechface decided. She had never thought of her grandmother as a fighter before.

"Grandfather is a mousebrain, but I don't gossip. I won't tell anyone." Beechface replied.

The arrival of the Asylum rogue snapped her from her thoughts, and Beechface let out a low growl, eyeing the rogue with distrust. Thankfully Blossomstep cut in before she could give the intruder a piece of her mind.

"Goldenrod. Thanks, grandma." Beechface wasn't quite sure that her grandmother's praise was warranted but... It did make her smile to herself. The older warrior wasn't one to give praise at random.

"That he most certainly is." Blossomstep mewed with a light laugh, eyes softening as she thought of Wolfstar, wondering if perhaps he would be interested in joining her on a hunt soon. However, that thought was quickly dashed as the memory of their argument surfaced in her mind again, and she bit her tongue as hurt flashed in her eyes. Turning her focus back to Beechface, she smiled at her grandkit once again. "Goldenrod. You're welcome dear. I'll see you soon!"

With a flick of her tail, the she-cat had left the den, following the Asylum cat out of camp and on her next patrol.

What Happens Next::