Snowpaw's Starclan Dream

A small sigh escaped Smallbean's maw as he set surveyed the camp, trying to catch sight of a particular cat. Later that night he would be taking Snowpaw into the medicine cat's den so she could communicate with Starclan, as every apprentice does. This was his second time taking an apprentice to speak with starclan, so he wasn't nearly as nervous as he was the first time, but the fear of being discovered by the Asylum was something he couldn't shake. He couldn't help but wonder what they would do to him if they found out he was helping apprentices communicate with their ancestors.

A pure white pelt caught his eye, breaking his thoughts. He found himself looking at Snowpaw. "Oh good, you're already here. Come in, come in." He turned toward the medicine den entrance and hurriedly walked inside. Once they were both in, he gestured to the multiple nests that lined the wall. "Pick one that suits your liking and go to sleep, you should wake up in Starclan territory." He explained before reaching behind himself to grab something. "These are poppy seeds. Take a few if you find yourself having trouble falling asleep." The dark seeds fell from his paw and onto a leaf, which he then pushed over to Snowpaw. "If you have any questions or need anything, do let me know. I will be sorting through herbs while you're sleeping."

The plan had been talked over in hushed tones around camp in earlier days. Snowpaw was to fake a limp for the day, and decide to see Smallbean in the evening. A visit to the medicine den would have doubtfully been suspicious, but caution was advisable. The fluffy white she-cat was shaded by the gorse tunnel as she stood, stretching out - and pretending to stumble down as she put weight onto her right hind leg. It felt awkward to hobble on three legs to the medicine den. Smallbean greeted her as she entered.

“Okay,” Snowpaw murmured softly, still keeping her leg held up in case someone was watching. She nodded as she sank into the nest and curled herself into a small bundle of white fluff. “I think I’ll be good without the poppy seeds, but thank you for the offer.” Her chest slowly began to rise and fall in the rhythm of a sleeping cat.

StarClan. Let’s see if you’re worthy of the reverence my Clan used to have for you.

As chaos continued to unfold within the forest, the stars watched from above, for now helpless to what was going on. Brighteye was one of the many, and often looked on with concern for her old mate, Mistyfalcon. Bad luck had befallen him recently, and the starry warrior wished that she could help. Even with the worries that were on her mind, she was still clearly more at peace than she had ever been in life. Now she was reunited with Frozenpaw and her parents, everything felt easier in death.

When she was told that she would be visiting a Windclan apprentice and assist them in becoming a warrior, she was surprised, to say the least. It felt like ages ago when she had spoken to Hollowpaw at the Moonstone. With Asylum rule, things were a little different, but Starclan would still find a way to help the clans.

She had never interacted with a cat from another clan properly, since she tended to stick to her clanmates at Gatherings. Before long, she found herself on the moors of Starclan, which felt very exposed, as she was used to hiding in the shadows of trees. A gentle breeze rustled the grass, making the surroundings feel almost real. She cautiously approached the young she-cat. I guess I actually have to... talk. That was something she hadn't considered. I have to tell her something useful, otherwise this will be for nothing. She was a little startled at how similar the apprentice looked to her, especially since they were from completely different clans.

"Welcome Snowpaw." Brighteye said quietly. Talking to strangers wasn't exactly her strong suit, but hopefully she would know to ask questions.

She’d heard tales of StarClan’s vast forests of stars. The moor was unexpected, but not unwelcome. Snowpaw took a slow look around. It was the wide-open moors, everywhere she could see, but for once not filled with snow. It was the moors that she was used to, if it was greenleaf. It was so much more beautiful than the monochrome landscape of withered, gray plants, and pure white snow. As she completed a full circle, Snowpaw’s eyes landed on a cat who she was sure hadn’t been there a moment before.

Starlight dappled her paws and shown in her eyes, though it was hard to see due to her pure white pelt like mine, Snowpaw thought absently. Perhaps this cat was her ancestor. Besides the bright blue and yellow heterochromia. There was no Clan scent on her, but a vague, fresh scent of leaves and some pine. ShadowClan, then?

“Thank you,” she said in response to the StarClan cat. “Who are you?” Smallbean hadn’t instructed her on what to do, only that StarClan would come. And they had. In form of a representative that Snowpaw didn’t know and assumed was from a different Clan. Well, she probably knows how to go about this.

"Brighteye." The starry warrior said. You actually have to talk to her, so do it properly, she told herself.

"In life, I was a Shadowclan warrior." Her paws shifted nervously as she sat in front of Snowpaw, feeling uncomfortable. The only cat she had ever really talked to this much was Mistyfalcon. Still, she continued. It was an important moment in the apprentices life, one that she hopefully would never forget, so Brighteye didn't want to mess up. With a short pause and a deep breath, she continued. "I only came here recently. I was alive when Asylum swarmed the forest originally, and I know that my mate believes my death was their fault." Memories of snapping jaws and possibly the silhouette of a stranger, an Asylum stranger, doing nothing to help her. When Mistyfalcon found her, it had been too late, but with the rouges' large numbers, one of them must've followed her.

"I grew desperate to be alone. And then, one night, I ran from camp. I met a dog on the way and..." She flicked her tail towards her starry pelt, the end of her sentence obvious.

Why am I telling her this? Is it a waste of out time? She probably already knows how terrible Asylum is - Windclan lost cats in the take over. She had briefly met one of them in Starclan, and it was clear that her own clan had surrendered a lot easier than some of the others. "You only have so much control over what happens to you and your loved ones." She said, shrugging slightly, "None of us could resist the takeover, no matter how much we wanted to. You can't change who lives or dies. But-" She added realising that her words were not advice, just harsh fact, "-life goes on. Sometimes you need to let go to be happy, and I wish I had done that while I still could." Brighteye still had no clue what she was supposed to say, and so she had decided to tell the young Windclanner what she herself as an apprentice would've needed to hear. Imagine how different my life would've been if I had managed to let go of my problems.

The name certainly made sense. Snowpaw nodded as Brighteye confirmed her inference of ShadowClan. She did wonder why StarClan would have sent a non-WindClan cat. They had their reasons, she decided. Her ears pricked as the StarClan warrior shared her story. “Was it their fault?” It would hardly be surprising after what the Asylum had done to them. Snowpaw listened with wide eyes as Brighteye continued. If a dog killed her, how would it have been the Asylum’s fault? Not that she wanted to defend them in any way.

Then came the advice that Snowpaw had really been expecting (more like facts, but it was advisable to realize those facts, she supposed). She didn’t know what she would do without Fawnpaw, didn’t want to imagine a world where her playful, bold brother wouldn’t be there to support her. At least she hadn’t been close to Goldengale, Dappleshine, or Gingertalon. The fluffy she-cat dipped her chin a little as Brighteye spoke of being happy. “Happiness is hard to come by,” she murmured, “considering the Asylum continues to murder my Clanmates and threaten our safety. Is this where the Clans end? Do we-” she took a ragged breath, inhaling.

“I want to stand with my Clan. I don’t want to let the Asylum keep doing what they’re doing, but no one can stop them. Not even StarClan, can you?” A stupid question; clearly, they would have if they could. “How would one find happiness in a time like this?”

Brighteye let out a small sigh as Snowpaw asked an unanswerable question. "Snowpaw, that is a question I honestly don't know the answer to. I wish I could help you more, but I will say this; when you are happy, allow yourself to live only in that moment. Find the small things that you do still have and let them be your one and only focus from time to time." I'm sounding like more of a hypocrite by the second. Maybe if she had followed this advice in life she would be happier. Maybe she wouldn't have died as soon.

Wanting to comfort the young she-cat, Brighteye padded a little closer to her and placed her tail over Snowpaw's back. It was a very rare show of affection from the starry warrior, but it was worth it. The main goal of this was to help the her, not make her worry. "I promise, if I could interfere I would in an instant. But for now, this is all we can do." Mismatched eyes to the sky. "I think our time may be coming to a close soon, so is there anything else you need to talk about? If so, I am here to help." I quite enjoy this... conversation thing sometimes. Maybe I should give it a go more often.

“No, thank you,” Snowpaw murmured, instinctively shying away from the StarClan warrior’s touch. Though the apprentice would try to hold onto happiness, Brighteye’s words sounded hypocritical. Telling her to find happiness that couldn’t be found in the moment. The fluffy molly flicked her tail and stepped away from the older she-cat, dipping her head and closing her eyes slightly— and then the next thing she knew, she was back in the medicine den.