Demanding an Explanation (Closed for Tara)

The cats, that may as well be shadows, stayed in Skyclan.  Ashpaw was never at ease.  She did not exactly know who they were besides them calling themselves the Asylum.  Ashpaw, and she assumed other cats as well, felt tension filling the air like a thick cloud of smoke, but no more tension could be greater between her and the cat she was trying to find.  She searched around Skyclan attempting to find him for quite a while.  Then finally, she turned her head saw him standing there.  He did not seem to know that she was there and he was not talking to anyone.  Ashpaw turned to walk towards him, but for a moment she was just frozen.  Fear made her almost turn around, but she needed to keep going.  This was probably the biggest trial of strength she would ever have to endure.  Still, she strode toward him.

If you were still my mentor, you would be proud of me, she thought bitterly.

She shoved her fear deep within her.  She could not let him see any weakness.  "Dawnhawk!" She spoke in a strong and angry voice, which was not normal for her.  "I think you owe this clan an explanation. She paused and looked up at him with anger filling her eyes.  "And I know you owe me one.

Dawnhawk had actually been waiting for Ashpaw, or anyone at all to step forward and ask whatever question they liked. He watched the warriors slink away from his shadow, or shoot nasty looks in his direction. Some completely ignored the he existed at all. But it didn't matter. He could practically smell their fury in the air. No one was happy about this sudden takeover, but they didn't have to be, nor did he expect them to be happy. With time, they would grow accustomed to it and the ones that had the most problem with it would eventually die of old age, predator attacks or illness regardless.

When his apprentice finally approached him, projecting her voice with authority, Dawnhawk looked down at her and smiled. Did she expect him to be angry? Quite the opposite.

"I'm proud of you for coming forward. That makes you more bold and honest than all of the warriors here, who seem more than content to whisper behind my back and hide their faces from me when I am present." Dawnhawk's eyes swept over the warriors around him. An apprentice came forward before any of you warriors did... you should all feel ashamed. His eyes finally went back to Ashpaw and he nodded.

"I do owe you an explanation. The others can wonder and feel angry all they like, until they ask me themselves. Walk with me?" Dawnhawk got to his feet and started to move closer to the edges of the camp. He trusted Ashpaw would follow.

"What do you know of the warrior code? Can you recite it for me?" He asked her once they were closer to the edges of camp. He didn't intend for anyone else to hear, as he wanted everyone as an individual to come to him so that he could set up questions in the way he felt would be most effective in converting each of them. Still, the basis of what he was going to say would essentially be the same for everyone.

When Dawnhawk smiled at her, her first thought was that he was mocking her.  He spoke the next couple sentences and it almost sounded like how he would talk to her when she was his apprentice.  One part of her was slightly insulted that after everything he did he would still think that he could just act like her mentor, but the other... was honestly slightly hoping that he still considered her his apprentice.

When Dawnhawk told her to follow him, her curiosity made her follow behind.  She was very cautious.  If he could nearly murder his own father, what would stop him from killing her.  She did as he asked and recited all of the warrior code for him.  The walk itself would have been very peaceful if the circumstances were not so tense.  "Alright now your turn," She said in more of a commanding voice.  "Tell me why you betrayed Skyclan, why you nearly killed our father, and-" She paused and took a deep breath.  "And why you hurt me."

She recited the warrior code fairly quickly like she was annoyed. He could understand why, but the fact that she didn't leave him enough time to explain why he had her recite it had him raise an eyebrow. She was still in an emotional state, again, understandably, but he wasn't sure how much more patience he had for it. He hadn't been very good at emotions, neither conveying them nor understanding them, or rather, why they were always so drawn out. Be angry, be sad, be happy... whatever. But let it pass and get over it. Even times when Dawnhawk had been any of those things, positive or negative emotions, they passed very quickly and he went back to being in a more or less numb state of mind. Once she finally said her last bit, there was a twinge of guilt inside him for just a moment. None of this had been Ashpaw's fault. She was too new to Skyclan and to his family to have had a role in Dawnhawk's decision making.

After a few tense moments, the pale tom reclined onto his haunches and sat. His eyes for once had lost their icy edge, but they were still not as warm as Ashpaw may have gotten from a parent or literally any other sibling. He sighed. Part of his plan for this speech had been carried away by the frigid wind.

"Ashpaw, I didn't nearly kill dad. Dad made his own choices to resist. If he had just accepted that Skyclan had been bested and kept his head down, he'd be here with us, angry, but otherwise fine. I had no desire to see anyone hurt, truly. But it happened. Bloodstrike would have fought until he died and he wouldn't have bat an eye at the outcome. The nightstrikers would have torn off more than just his tail, if I hadn't ordered them to stop. I let them beat him enough that he would be incapable of doing any further harm to anyone and then that was the end of it. If anything, I saved him. I saved that prideful, mouse-brained moron from certain death. He'll be kept alive and away from camp until he calms down. Once that happens, I will have him returned home immediately. His injuries are being taken care of, but he is too dangerous to just let him roam freely about the territory. You know that."

His tail tip flicked on the ground beside him while he thought about how else to answer the rest of her question.

"You are innocent in all of this. Everyone in our mother's second litter is. My goal was absolutely not to let any harm of any form come to my younger siblings. I don't really like Beechface but I don't want her hurt, and she absolutely hates me. I don't know why. Even before this... she wanted nothing to do with me. I saved her once. She got attacked by a rogue cat when we were apprentices." Dawnhawk's eyes hardened at the memory and his paws tensed enough to show the very tips of his claws. "I could have left her to her fate. I could have let that rogue she-cat tear into her because she didn't even know I was there. Neither of them did. But I got so enraged seeing another cat attack a member of my family, my sister no less, that I threw myself at her and defended Beechpaw with no regard for my own life. We both could have died. And you know what?" Now his claws pierced the earth below him and a soft growl rumbled quietly in the back of his throat.

"To this day she hasn't thanked me. She won't even talk to me about it. That would be fine with me except for the fact I could have died... and it meant absolutely nothing to her. I was treated like a nuisance at best even after that." For a few moments, Dawnhawk's eyes were distant and unfocused. There was pain there, pain that he had decided to bury a long time ago and thought had been gone to never be spoken of again. But here it was... crawling back out of the grave that Dawnhawk tried to bury it in. He shook his head after a moment to clear it and his claws sheathed themselves once more.

"I'm ranting. Let me get back on track." He took in a breath and once again, banished the memories of the past from his mind. "I haven't betrayed Skyclan. I am doing the best thing that I can for it, which is to forcefully sever it's ties with Starclan. Starclan is our real enemy. I had you recite the warrior code for a reason, not to test you to see if you knew it." He paused again to let his words sink in before he continued. "Here are the parts I wanted you to think on: Warrior cats do not kill each other except for those outside of Starclan and the warrior code, or in necessary self-defense. Medicine cats cannot take mates or have kits. Cats should only take mates within their own clans. Outsiders are forbidden." He had to think for a moment, wondering if he picked out the parts that he needed. Fairly sure that was all for now, he decided to tackle these issues and worry about others later, if they were brought up.

"Doesn't that sound cruel to you? How do you ensure peace after war if your enemies still stand? Starclan will tell you, "four trees, four clans... they must be preserved." Yet they apparently lead us here from the tribes despite their own rules. The forest has never been a peaceful place, despite how much "mercy" the warriors from all of the clans show each other. Starclan doesn't want to preserve the clans out of love for us, but rather the opposite. They enjoy our suffering and our torment. If one clan got strong enough to wipe the other three, why shouldn't they? With no one left to fight, there would be peace. But to Starclan, who watches over us from the stars... well that would just be boring. There is nothing fascinating about day to day forest life. Hunt, eat, sleep, repeat. War on the other hand... war is very interesting! You'll never be in awe over stories of mouse hunts. When the elders want young cats to pay attention, they tell stories of war, or fires, of strife and hardships. Do you think Starclan is any different? They aren't entertained by our well-being, they want to see us suffer because it amuses them."  Dawnhawk flicked his tail and gestured the camp and the forest around them. It had made some progress in it's recovery from the fire, but there were still bare, charred trees with no limbs on them all around as well.

"They brought the fire to Skyclan, the most devout clan in the forest. Literally only our territory burned. Thunderclan's territory is fine. Shadowclan's territory is fine. Why? Why Ashpaw? Can you explain that?" Now, his voice was rising and a sharp edge had been added to it. "They just want suffering, pain and death, no matter how devout any one cat or clan is." And with that, Dawnhawk huffed and switched gears in his brain to move onto the next subject. "Medicine cats cannot take mates or have kits. If they do, Starclan won't even talk to them until they repent. Why? Why? What about taking a mate or having a family makes you a less capable healer?? There are cats in the asylum that are healers as well as mates, mothers and fathers. They're further along in their knowledge of healing than any of the medicine cats in the clans. Why should Beechface have to be alone her whole life, even if she wasn't an absolute headache on the best of days, just because she is a medicine cat? She didn't even want that position but Starclan came to Sagelight and told him to recruit her. Yeah the choice "was her's" but she wasn't happy about it. She wanted to become a warrior, desperately, but she has her position now and all of the burdens and restrictions that come with it. It's not fair to her."

At this point he stood, his frustration causing his heart to race and his claws to flex back out. He hated Starclan... he always had.

"Cats should only take mates within their own clans and outsiders are forbidden. That's basically the same problem. It's only a matter of time before everyone in a clan is related to each other. But we can't accept outsiders because it's forbidden. That leaves us with two options that Starclan is forcing us to do choose from because they're vile and cruel. We either take family members as mates," He shuddered. "Or we break the warrior code and have forbidden relationships. Please tell me where the logic is in all of this, if Starclan so called loves us and guides us. They don't Ashpaw! They don't! But do you think tradition and teachings passed on from generation to generation for hundreds of moons just... goes away? It doesn't! Only extreme circumstances will sway extremists. Spottedstar was such an extremist, though you don't know him because he was the leader before Wolfstar, and Wolfstar became leader before you were born. Wolfstar is an extremist too. I don't hate him, but things have got to change around here for the future of all of our clans, not just Skyclan.

So that's why I did it. That is why I brought Asylum here. Sure, their methods are extreme as well, cruel and to the point, but effective. Hundreds of other cat colonies... or "clans" if you want to call them that, have been taken over, resisted, and then become apart of Asylum. And they are thriving. There is peace in this massive group. There is logic and there are no stupid restrictions or sadistic gods playing with our lives like young toms do to helpless mice. We are more free now than we ever have been in history... but the traditionalists and extremists don't want you to see it that way. Because it means that they were wrong, that their way of life was wrong, and the deities that they so desperately cling to and believe in are false as well!"

Dawnhawk took a breath, as he had finished. He hadn't meant to go quite on a rant like that... but it had to be done. Ashpaw wanted to understand... and now she did. He hoped that she would agree with him. If not now... then maybe in the future. She was a young cat and still fairly open-minded about how the way the world worked. Still, she had shown Dawnhawk nothing but strength. While that was a trait he admired, he could only hope that this would not pour over into her being a stubborn she-cat as well.

Carefully, Ashpaw listened to every word he said, deciding which statements were true and which ones she thought were false.  At the part where Dawnhawk was talking about saving Beechface, she started to feel some sympathy for him, but quickly decided to try and not think about it, keeping on track with the reason she came.  When he began to talk about Starclan, her brain mocked, Who's getting emotional now, Dawnhawk?  After he was done speaking, she looked down, pondering his words very carefully, which left a moment of silence.  The leaf-fall breeze made her slightly uncomfortable as it pulled her long fur back and forth.  Suddenly, she raised her head and took a step towards him.

"Our father did make his choice, but you also had the choice to do something different, like, I don't know, try to stop the Asylum cats?" She meowed, speaking fast and creating an angry tone in her voice.  "And your Beechface story did not help.  You saved you sister from a rogue cat, but have no problem assisting rogue, unwanted, shadow-like cats in nearly murdering our father?  How can you justify that?  Have you become one of them?  I hope not.  Those cats took over our home and you helped them.  You may say it's the best thing for all the clan cats, but how do you know?  I don't even feel like you are a clan cat anymore.  You are allowing, no helping the invaders.  Did they make you do it?  I assume not because you seem like you are their humble servant, doing whatever they tell you to."  Ashpaw knew that her statements were most likely very harsh, but she needed to tell him the truth.

She took a deep breath, trying to become slightly more calm.  She skipped, for now, the second thing he said, about the second litter and instead went to the warrior code and Starclan.  This time she spoke in a slightly less harsh voice.  "The warrior code, although it may be harsh, is here to protect the warriors.  As for only being allowed to have mates in your own clan, that is for protection.  They don't want the cats to ever have to choose between fighting for their clan or loving their mate.  Also, I must say, you are one to talk about that rule.  Because of the Asylum, the clans no longer meet every moon and are forced to see each other even less."

There was a brief moment of pause as she thought about what next to say.

"Also, as for not killing other warriors unless necessary, although it may give you more enemies, peace is better than death.  If their were ways to do what you are talking about, sure there may be peace for a short time, but soon enough the clans who got taken over would never like it there and would begin to retaliate."

With that her voice again changed to a calm tone.  There is certain things that I do agree with you about.  How do we eventually stop the problem of that one family will eventually become the entirety of the clan?  I do not know, but that needs to be figured out.  The other thing I agree with you about is medicine cats should be allowed to have mates, but still, the code is the code and if cats don't follow it, they should receive the consequences." When she said the last part of that sentence, her look intensified, letting Dawnhawk know that the last part of the sentence was for him.

Ashpaw momentarily stopped and thought about Beechface.  If she wanted to have a mate, why would that be a problem?  Would Ashpaw do anything about it?  It was not fair that her sister could not have a mate, but it was the rules.

Her voice again changed, from calm to somewhat sad.  "Your goal failed," she mumbled, returning to an earlier part in Dawnhawk's speech.  Her gaze softened.  "I was apparently one of the only cats who thought you were a good cat and a great mentor.  My goal was to please you and make you proud of me.  Apparently, I was just so stupid and gullible enough to think you were a cat that wanted to be my brother."

Dawnhawk kept a calm demeanor as she spoke and he had no intention of cutting her off. He had expected some resistance, but he had also expected emotionally charged and failed logic retaliation. Her argument was long but it came down to one simple bottom line: It's fine because it's the rules. It was disappointing to see someone that he knew had so much more potential than that succumb to the oldest form of manipulation in the book.

"Why would I resist the Asylum when their goals align with mine so flawlessly? The story about Beechface is irrelevant. I didn't mean to really get into it as much as I did, so I'll dismiss it for now." A lot of her other points he had already addressed, but he was patient with her. She was mad, probably scared too. This was a big change that they were having to deal with and it would just be stupid to expect no push-back.

"Humble servant?" He asked with a smirk on his face. "Who here is giving me orders? No one. Even Wolfstar has no authority over me." He turned to a shadow that had been listening just behind a bush. Dawnhawk flicked his tail and gestured for the nightstriker to come forward. "Sit down." He commanded, and the nightstriker sat. "Lay down." The nightstriker dropped to his belly. "Actually, stand back up and close your eyes." Dawnhawk gave his final order and the nightstriker got to his feet. The gleaming yellow eyes behind the badger skin suddenly disappeared. Satisfied, Dawnhawk dismissed him and the nightstriker slunk back into the underbrush as if he were never there. "There are very few above me, Ashpaw. Very very few. I was a humble servant in Skyclan, a grunt, ready and expected to be sent to my death upon the casual whims of a leader. All because Starclan says I should obey." And with that, he had made his point.

"The clans are prevented from seeing each other every moon for a reason, one of which I'm sure if you thought hard enough about you'd figure out. This too is temporary, but it is one secret I cannot divulge to you." He shrugged. "Mates wouldn't have to worry about fighting or hurting their mates if we were all one clan. The Asylum looks like one giant clan, but is actually comprised of hundreds. All of these cats came from different places, likely they were warring all of the time like the clans in the forest do now. Now look. They have come together and take care of each other, free to pick who they want as mates. Predators can't stop them. Other cats and clans cannot stop them. For all of their numbers and strength, our clans continue to exist. If that isn't true mercy, then I guess I don't know what that is. I think a lesser cat would have wiped the forest clean of any competitors so that their own mouths could be fed."

Finally, he was going to address the last of her points. He had already said his piece, so he would address her concerns and correct her where she was wrong. After that it would be up to her whether or not she actually wanted to do any thinking of her own that didn't stop at "but its the rules." Nothing was more vomit-inducing to Dawnhawk than blind faith without logic or reason.

"Peace is better than death. Yes I agree. Cooperate with the Asylum and you will have peace. Resist and the Asylum will win regardless. I'll throw you a bone, Ashpaw. Lets say by some miracle the clans defeat the Asylum. Great... things go back to the way they were. Constant fighting between five clans and the mindless obedience to Starclan that drives us all to lay waste to one another by forbidding any kind of unity between us. That's logical." He said sarcastically. "The relationship between the two of us is more up to you than it is up to me. I like you. I think you're smart and you're fearless. I just wish you weren't so brain-washed by the clan's traditionalist values that you can't accept something that makes logical sense, but it's outside "the rules" so it must be bad. You are smarter than that. Let your mind be free. Maybe talk to some of these other Asylum cats and get their stories. Very few of them are the foul-tempered monsters that the rest of the clan would love for you to believe."

Ashpaw's tail twitched.  A fairly long silent moment past.  For the first time sense she saw Dawnhawk, she was completely speechless.  How could she respond to something like that without either saying exactly what he wanted to hear or just restating something that was already said?  She did listen just as well as she listened before, but what he said this time made her have to ponder for some time.

"Well- I mean- what I'm trying to-" She struggled to find good next words.  Is he right?  Are the rules of the clan just brainwashing us to do what they say?  No, the rules are here to protect us, right? She did not know exactly what to think.  She knew that her brother betrayed the tribe and was not to be trusted, but she needed to admit some of what he said did not seem completely false.  She did not agree with the Asylum nor with what her brother was stating about them, but maybe she should go actually meet one before saying that they are all bad.  She did not agree with their methods as well as how they literally invaded her tribe in that middle of the night and pinned them so they did not even have a chance to fight.

"Fine," she exclaimed at last.  There was a pause, but then she at last figured out what to say.  "I agree that maybe the rules can be flawed at times and maybe should be broken sometimes." This was the calmest and the least emotionally driven tone of voice she had that entire conversation.  "And I also agree that I should go meet an Asylum cat.  Actually, I will go meet an Asylum cat after this."

Her yellow eyes looked at him with a calm look in her eyes.  "But how could you think this is the best for everyone?  Or that cats would just except that the Asylum took over our home?  It might be the best fit for you, but this is my, my family's, and other cat's clan.  We don't want others forcibly taking the clan and changing what we do and watching us all the time." She surveyed the terrain around her.  The ground was filled with ash and dead leaves, making it not much of a pleasant view, but she continued to look for the shadow- like cats that were no doubt watching them every second of their conversation.  "There are probably at least five Asylum cats watching us right now.  How do you want me to just be okay with this?"

Well.... it looked like his endeavors were paying off. Ashpaw was listening to him and actually questioning what she had been told her whole life. Good. She wasn't as mouse-brained as the other clan cats. He knew she wasn't. He smiled at her when she agreed to go talk to an Asylum cat. She still had more questions, but that was fine. Her questions were a sign that her initial beliefs about the world were dying, desperately trying to claw their way back from the inevitable.

"There are cats that won't accept Asylum rule their entire lives. We know that. Just because the change is good and needed doesn't mean that the transition will be pleasant. Think of it as taking herbs that taste bitter because you are sick. The takeover, as forcefully as we have done it, is the same as forcing undesirable herbs down your throat. You may not like it, but you will be better after it. Give this some time, Ashpaw. You'll see. You will see how much healthier and happier our clan will be once this nasty part is over."

He glanced around the bushes, his trained Asylum Cat's eye picking out exactly where the other nightstrikers and scouts were hiding. His eyes didn't linger on them for long before he brought his attention back to Ashpaw. "I know it must be uncomfortable for you. I wouldn't like it either. But to keep order and to prevent more deaths, this is necessary. This too, will go away in time. For now, it's a necessary precaution."

In time, her mind echoed.  How much time did the Asylum need?  It had not been long sense they came, but still the words "in time" were beginning to aggravate her.  She looked at her brother with a blank stare for a moment.  At least she now knew.  She knew why Dawnhawk was not there much during her kithood.  She knew why she did not see him much after he fought the owl with her that one day.  Ashpaw often pondered about this, but thought it was not her place to ask.  She blinked, reminding herself about the conversation she was having.


"But it's like protective She-cats and Toms watching their kits all the time.  At some point, they just need to start trusting them.  If the Asylum cats have no trust in us how should we trust them?" She questioned.  She assumed that all of her questions may be bothering him, which was not her intent, but she needed to know the answers.


Even though she was nervous and angry at the start of the conversation, at this point, she was glad she was having it.  It made her realize that her brother was not a fully bad cat.  Although she did not agree with everything he was saying and still hated him for helping the Asylum, she needed to admit to herself that he did stop the Nightstrikers from killing her father.  She also still hated him for pulling her father out of the tree and there was nothing that could justify that.  Something that she remembered as they were having this conversation, was that he was still her brother and she would still at least somewhat love him, no matter what.

"At some point yes, but now is not the time. Trust is given when it is earned. We hope that the clans will start trusting us too. You have every reason to not like us, initially, but I do believe things will come together. Nothing worth anything comes quickly." She was young still and didn't understand this yet. But she would. With time she would. He looked up at the sky to judge where the sun was. He had other things that he would need to do soon, but he didn't want her to feel ignored since she was the one who rightfully came to him for an explanation of things. Still, he didn't think he had much more to say that hadn't been said already. She would either accept these explanations or she wouldn't.

"But what if-" she stopped herself before continuing to ask her question.  The end would have been, what if no one ever trusted each other any more.  That could lead to a world of chaos and destruction.  Eventually some of Skyclan and some of the other clans cats would begin to side with the Asylum.  Soon that mistrust could lead to a war with parents fighting their kits, friends battling against one another, and siblings hurting each other.  All the clans and cats in them could be filled with hurt and bloodshed.  All of this could end up being all the Asylums fault.

That was just a thought, only time could tell if it was true or not.  This was not what Ashpaw would like to imagine the clans turning into.  She shook her head.  On the other paw, the Asylum coming could fix a few of the problems the clans were dealing with.  If either of these became true, Ashpaw would never choose a side.  She had a duty to her clan to protect it, but could never stand the thought of hurting someone she cared about, even if that cat was the one that helped the Asylum take over in the first place.

"Just," she exclaimed.  "Please try your best to make sure that this does not turn into a war.  Even if the cats in all of the different clans don't accept the Asylum, try to make sure that the cats don't start fighting each other, because we both know that it would end with tears on both sides."