I Should Tell You... [closed]

It was dusk, and the sun just barely peeking over the mountains. It wore the clouds like a blanket on that sleepy Leaf-Fall afternoon. The weather was perfect. Beecloud tugged nervously at his ears, waiting for Robinloft's patrol to return. He hoped that she would feel up for another walk through the territory. He felt so unsure of himself. He was unsure of everything, except his feelings for the strong she-cat. Everything was changing lately, and if he didn't say something now, he would never forgive himself for not taking the chance.

At last, he saw her brown-and-ginger pelt emerge through the gorse. Beecloud met her gaze and mewed, stopping her in her tracks. When he had finally mustered the courage to approach her, he felt more shy than he had ever been in his life. He dipped his head, the mane of white and brown fur pluming around him as he practically bowed to her. "I wanted to know if you would like to come on a walk with me," he murmured. "I wanted to collect some leaves, so I can keep them in my den. The last of the season, you know. Is that okay?"

Lifting his head, he felt his ears grow hot. Beecloud was not very good at romance. It all felt strange and new, but... very nice. A smile curled at the corner of his lips, pressing harshly against his long fangs. He thought for a moment that they made quite the funny pair: him, with his odd toes and teeth, and her, with a striking, surreal pelt that would make the stars jealous of her shine. He waited patiently for her answer, but he couldn't hide the twitching of his thick tail behind him.

The day had been long and busy, as most days were. Robinloft let out a soft sigh and smiled as she walked into camp, happy to be greeted by the sounds of Thunderclan camp's hustle and bustle. Even after she had been out all day, she still loved to come back to camp and play games with the kits. It was as if she had a never-ending supply of energy- that was unless you tried waking her up in the morning. Today, however, was different. Instead of going straight to the kits, her eyes caught those of Beecloud's. Her emerald eyes lit up at his sigh, happy to see the larger tom. It was hard to explain how she felt. For some reason her heart fluttered when she talked to him, but she liked it. Every now and then she would think about him, and she couldn't help but wonder if it was love she was feeling.

Surprise crossed her face for a brief moment when Beecloud lowered his head, but she quickly replaced it with a wide smile. Her heart warmed at his offer, to which she immediately accepted. "Oh of course! I love helping you find things for you collections, i think it's really cool." She looked up at the tom and eagerly padded toward the camp entrance, oblivious to how shy he was. "Is there anywhere specific you'd like to go? Or do you just want to walk? Ooh! Maybe we could find a good view of the sunset along the way!" Her enthusiasm was, as always, abundant.

Beecloud purred in a rumbling, tender laugh, and found that Robinloft was already making a dash toward the camp entrance. He felt a rush flood his pelt, face, and pawpads that replaced the jittering sensation he had before. He twisted his head behind his shoulder, checking to make sure that no other cat was looking for a patrol to join, and found no one. Though, the tom did notice Ferretnose wink with her good eye as she slipped quietly into her den for the night. Elders... not a night owl among them.

When he padded up to join the she-cat, their steps perfectly matched as they ambled over rock and log, he wondered if she was the settling type of cat. Though Ferretnose enjoyed motherhood, she was adamant during his entire kithood that as soon as she had shoved the last of his littermates out of the nursery, she'd be returning to warriorhood. And, of course, she did. His mother was very simple like that. She knew what she want. Did Robinloft know?

Oh, stars. What if Robinloft did know what she wanted, and he wasn't part of it? What if he had missed the cue long ago? Perhaps they were always fated to fail. Perhaps he was right to let his eyes wander across the river. Surely, she didn't want a cat like him, who was hardly a warrior in his own right. He was not a leader, nor a fighter, nor an exceptional hunter. He was a teacher, maybe, or a philosopher, but Beecloud was not so sure that was enough to be considered adequate… not to a she-cat or a clan. Beecloud's heart thundered like a bird trapped between the paws of a mighty lion. He was held in a vice of his own design. This is a mistake, his head whispered. Give speech to the unspoken, his heart professed.

With a pained grunt, Beecloud skidded forward, swinging around and halting Robinloft in her tracks. Her eyes seemed to glow in the fading light. It was as if he was holding a green leaf to the sun and viewing every vein. It was enough to make him falter immediately. The sound that came out of him was, at best, a half-word, and at worst, a guttural utterance: a simple "Uhm!"

He cleared his throat, pressed his paws into the dirt, and spoke again. "Do you believe that StarClan leads us to the cats who we need most?" he said, speeding through the words like it was a contest. With every syllable, his eyes darted across her face, watching diligently for signs of movement. "I believe it. I believe that our destinies are our own, but the journeys are charted... like the stars in the sky. I believe that we are meant to experience certain things and meet certain cats at exactly the right time. And the right time for StarClan is not necessarily the right time for us. So... just when everything feels uncertain, and when I'm at a crossroads in my life, and I want to get up and run away as fast as I can... It makes sense that I'd find stability in you."

Beecloud gulped, and with his legs trembling, he let his rump fall to the ground. He sat in the clearing, thick tail swishing the crackling, multicolored leaves around him. The dirt was cold. He hid his paws beneath his tail, and suddenly he felt like Beepaw, too insecure for his own good. "That... that didn't make any sense. Did that make sense? I'm sorry. I don't mean to overwhelm you."

As the two padded across the forest floor, Robinloft felt some kind of warmth spark within her. There was something about Beecloud's presence that made her so happy. Something about his goofy smile made her smile too. Her eyes gazing through the now thin forest, she began to zone out, thinking about a variety of things, the main topic Beecloud. Her favorite think about him was his laugh, although it was sometimes a bit awkward, she loved seeing him happy. It always made her want to laugh along.

Something else she loved was his peculiar collections, the way he appreciates every bird feather and rock. It always exhilarated her to go help him, especially the time when they went to find owl feathers. A giggle escaped her maw as she began to think more- that was until something suddenly moved in front of her. Coming to a halt, she met Beecloud's gaze with a smile. It surprised her, but she wasn't too startled. She opened her mouth to ask if anything was wrong, but quickly stopped as Beecloud began to speak. With the first question he asked she started to think. She had always believed that Starclan guided the clans, but she never really took time to think about it. "I never thought about it like that..." The words where whispers under her breath. Now she was intrigued. When Beecloud continued she listened on, taking in his thoughts. After he finished saying what he thought, she took time to think it over. It was still a bit difficult to understand, but she said what she thought of it. "It does kinda make sense... like how something feels wrong, but right at the same time. And it confuses you, but when that thing happens you know it's okay, but you're still not ready for it."

She looked up to see Beecloud sitting on the ground. "Oh i'm just a bit confused, nowhere near overwhelmed though." She padded over to the tom and sat next to him, her fluffy tail wrapping around her paws. "Are you alright? You seem to be acting a bit odd." Beecloud often acted a bit awkward, but he seemed a bit more anxious today than most others. Even if there was really nothing wrong, it was good to check on him. She pressed her body against his and drifted into thought.