Who Cares if One more Light Goes Out (Closed)

Bloodstrike lay in silence on the rubble of an old stone fence. Vines had claimed most of it, but the fact that it had been a brick fence at one point could still be seen through the breaks in the vegetation. The large cat was curled in a "C" shape, with his tail dangling off of the edge along with his chin and forepaws. Burning tears moistened the fur around his face, but he made no noise. An occasional jerk of his shoulders was the only indication that he was still letting it all out; the pain, the fear, the frustration... He would not allow himself to be heard, if he could help it.

Mistrain... his sister... he hadn't seen a body and no claims had been made that she was dead. But he knew. He knew deep down that she would never have abandoned her clan. He knew that she would not have been away for so long. Spottedstar hadn't returned either, and aside from feeling only remorse for his own father, Bloodstrike didn't dwell long on their missing leader. He felt neither sorrow nor joy at Spottedstar's absence, but some form of relief was there. Without him, Wolfcall would be the one to lead the clan now, and hopefully he could wash away the sins of the past mistakes that stained the reputation of their clan. Aside from that, the pain that overwhelmed him from the loss of his sister, the one he was closest to, was too much for him to stow away and push on through like he normally did. But it didn't mean anyone had to see it.

He listened to the crickets and the scurrying of mice in the night, but he made no move to pursue anything. For now, he just wanted to be alone. The pain in his back from the flames had been reduced to a dull ache thanks to Sagelight's healing. His paw was in even better shape, as it had sustained the least amount of damage. He would be fine. He wouldn't be as pretty as he had been before, but he had never been too terribly vain anyway. The lightning-like scar down his back was of little concern to him. He took in a very deep, rattling breath as emotional agony ravaged the cold, empty pit in his chest.

I hope you're in peace, where ever you are, sister. He thought to himself before he closed his eyes. Fresh moisture leaked down his face. Still, he uttered no sound. He lie there on the wall and endured the agony that was the loss of his closest family member out of his siblings. He didn't know how long he had been there, and he didn't know how much longer he would be. He knew he had duties and he had to return to his clan at some point, but for now, he needed solitude.

Not for the first time that day, Smokefeather found herself gazing worriedly in the direction of Skyclan's territory, or what remained of it. Smoke still lingered, and their missing clanmates still had yet to return. Smokefeather would not allow herself to think that the worst had happened. They had to be alive somewhere. Escaped to Thunderclan or Shadowclan, found a way out of the fire. They wouldn't have known where Wolfcall had taken them, so it made sense that they still hadn't shown up, right?

Well, that was what she told herself. Smokefeather hoped for the best but it had been days, now. When she closed her eyes, she saw fire, and that only increased Smokefeather's fear.

Smokefeather had thrown herself into training the apprentices as a distraction, but that only worked for so long before her thoughts inevitably strayed back to the situation at paw. While Primrosepaw continued to improve the more they trained, what prey they managed to find was disappointing. There were lots of mice, but far fewer birds and squirrels. While this area of twolegplace was mostly devoid of twolegs and their monsters, their sounds could still be heard in the distance, occasionally shattering the quiet.

Now however, it wasn't a sound that had caught her attention. A dark shape lay curled atop one of the strange twoleg fences. Smokefeather paused, eyes locking on the familiar figure. Bloodstrike.

Burned paws turning toward the fence, Smokefeather stepped forward and leapt up to sit next to the dark tom, gently curling her tail around him. He was hurting, that much was obvious. About what, well, there weren't many options. And he'd only be this upset for one of the cats that were currently missing. Smokefeather didn't have siblings that she was close with, but Mistrain had been someone she counted as kin of her own. Bloodstrike had been closer to his sister than to anyone else, and Smokefeather couldn't imagine how much harder this was for him.

After a moment, Smokefeather curled herself protectively around her mate, though there was little to actually protect him from. A hard lump had formed in her throat, making speech impossible for Smokefeather, not that she would have known what to say. She'd promised that Bloodstrike would have a shoulder to lean on when he needed it, an ear to listen to him without judgement. That's the least she could do for him, now.

Bloodstrike hardly moved or reacted when his mate came to join him on the fence. For several moments, only silence passed between the two. She was the only cat he wouldn't hide tears from. Had it been anyone else he would have sat up and wiped his face immediately and greeted them with his typical stone-faced expression. After a bit, Bloodstrike leaned into her a bit more and released a long, loud sigh.

"I know I did what I could for who I could." He began softly as fresh tears rolled. "But that doesn't make her loss any easier." He settled his claws on a vine just below him on the wall and began to knead it. He needed something else to focus on, and slight splitting of a dried vine was a welcome distraction.

"She isn't stupid. She is the only cat to have been able to track me down when I didn't want to be found. If Mistrain was still alive, she would have found us." He was so sure of it. There was a tiny of flicker of hope within him that she would turn up one day, alive and well with a fascinating story to tell. But he knew the hope was a foolish one to have. His eyes went to the stars and his ears flattened against his head, his eyes narrowed.

"I pray the fire took Spottedstar to Starclan though. Wolfcall needs to become Wolfstar. We wouldn't be in this mess... wouldn't be here if we ever had any adequate leadership." He growled, unapologetically, as his eyes flooded down his face once more. "I don't know why the clan never tried to strip Spottedstar of his nine lives. We could have. One good dose of poppy seeds in his breakfast and a quick trip to the Thunderpath and we would have been rid of him and his horrendous decision-making forever." He would never have breathed a single word of this to anyone else but Smokefeather. He needed to vent, lest all of his words become actions before their due time. He realized his anger was taking over him once the vine cracked and fell away from his grip. He took a deep breath to calm down. Spottedstar might not even be alive anymore, and hopefully that was the case.

"I'm sorry to put this all on you. If you're ever in a situation where you have to tell the leader, whoever they may be, about our conversations, please just turn me in and save your own skin. I'll be exiled, but I'll be fine. I don't think Spottedstar would have had the gall to execute me anyway." His thoughts traveled to Wolfcall... and suddenly he wasn't so sure. Maybe for the good of the clan, Wolfcall would call for Bloodstrike's execution. Bloodstrike would be hurt, but he would understand too. Inner-clan conflict was never a good thing, and that was why he only ever shared his truest feelings with Smokefeather. Still, Bloodstrike would never just simply lay down for an execution... he'd be taking as many other cats as he could with him. He was a warrior through and through and he would die a warrior's death.

Smokefeather touched her nose to Bloodstrike's ear as he pressed against her, content to remain quiet for the moment. He would speak, or he wouldn't, but she was there for him, a silent shoulder to lean on.

He did speak after a bit, and Smokefeather listened.

"She could've found shelter with the other clans... It's not like Mistrain would've known where we'd go if she wasn't at the river to hear Wolfcall and Sagelight..." She sounded less certain even to her own ears, though. "I don't want to believe that Mistrain or Foxfire are dead. They had to have made it out somehow." She had to squash those doubts or she'd drive both herself and Bloodstrike mad.

At Bloodstrike's next words, Smokefeather gave a derisive snort. "I really don't care what happens to Spottedstar. Wolfccall was the only one other than you giving orders that I could hear, and Spottedstar is the one with multiple lives, so he'll probably be fine anyways." It was a pity because from where Smokefeather lay, it didn't seem like Spottedstar actually did much leading. She'd still never spoken to him once beyond her warrior ceremony, had never had the chance to bond with him like she had with other clanmates. Spottedstar had given her a warrior name, and that was it. From where Smokefeather lay, he was no more important than any other cat, and he was certainly less important to her than her friends, mate and kits were. Maybe that made her a terrible cat, but she hardly knew Spottedstar at all. She'd known Mistrain since she was a kit, she was someone Smokefeather had looked up to for her quiet kindness and patience. She'd gone hunting with Foxfire and he was someone she respected. Even Sunflower, as much as Smokefeather had spent her time as an apprentice outright avoiding him and doing things on her own when she was able to, as much as she'd resented him for having to learn things from more capable clanmates rather than her own mentor, meant more to her than Spottedstar did.

Now Smokefeather's ears flattened in response to Bloodstrike, a fresh burst of anger blooming in her chest. "No, Bloodstrike. This conversation is between us and will stay that way." She said, tone sharper than she'd meant it to be. She continued, tone softening, "Thoughts aren't a crime, you mouse-brained furball. I've said it before and I'll say it again; loyalty to one flea-brained fool is not the same thing as loyalty to the clan."