Nettlefire's Leadership Ceremony

He would be lying if he said it didn’t hurt.

He also looked forward to it.

In some ways, it was easy to tell. It was harder for him to do much. Hard for him to patrol, harder to hunt. His chest ached nearly all the time, whether it was from the more recent heartbreaks or his own body he wasn’t even sure anymore. His hind leg felt constantly in pain, left him with a limp that would never leave.

Leopardstar might have believed in him, but he was too old. His own body worn down over time… and he had done well. There was little doubt in his mind that were he a little younger, had a bit more time that he could do what he felt needed to be done. Time doesn’t wait. Age never stops. The clan was restless, endless and moving. He couldn't keep up with it. Couldn't keep going like his younger self had once.

Starclan, waits.

He drew a deep breath and stood on aching, tired limbs. He padded out from the leader’s den, eyes peeled for the grey tabby she-cat he knew well. The one he believed in.
"Nettlefire." He called, his head tilted towards the camp entrance. A small, sad smile on his face. "Come with me."

“Dad? Is something wrong? Where are we going?” The she-cat’s green eyes scanned her father’s expression.

Nettlefire felt obligated to ask the question, but the truth was she hardly needed to. The sadness in his face in that moment and the weakness in his body she had noticed gradually increasing these last moons were both explanation enough.

She couldn’t say she was excited about it, especially not with everything else going on, but...she was also ready. As much as she could be, at least, and she hoped-- she hoped that was ready enough. To be honest, since the moment she saw he couldn’t get up on the great rock at the gathering, she’d felt this moment was probably imminent. Perhaps it was a good thing that she hadn’t had to wait very long at all for the confirmation. It might've given her more time to prepare, yes-- but more likely it would've just given her more time to worry and wonder. Time, and waiting, certainly were double-edged in nature.

"Wrong? No…it’s fine." He responded, his voice far calmer than his thoughts, which raced. Just because this was the right thing to do… it didn’t make it easier. His paw steps were heavy in the bushes. His leg refused to make the journey a silent one, not that they were supposed to hunt on the way to Highstones. He frowned, puzzled how to explain it all. It just felt like there wasn’t enough time in the day. Let alone the night, or the season. They reached four trees, and he sighed.

The top of the great rock was unremarkable in daylight. He could see the dozens of claw marks from cats who climbed up it. Some of them were his own, buried under others. It told countless stories of gatherings both peaceful and war torn. He paused, thoughts gathered in his head like thunder clouds. Then shook it, and padded onwards up the slope towards Windclan. He wondered if he’d see Finchstar up the slope, then paused.

Finchstar was in Starclan. The other leader couldn’t possibly meet him up there. Maybe Ravenstar… now that was possible. The young tom had looked a little worried about him at the gathering. Who could blame him. Oakstar sighed, his head turned to his daughter beside him.

It felt like yesterday when she was just a kit. Small and helpless, nestled against her mother with her sibling. Over the many moons, he and Dustcloud had many kits together. Adopted just as many, a smile grew on the old tom’s muzzle as he remembered them. He only frowned when he thought of Dawngaze and Rainstr- Rain. They had strayed so far. Part of him hoped they made their way to Starclan eventually… he winced, remembering the pain of losing lives while they were in the middle of windclan’s vast plains. She was so much larger now. A full grown warrior… his deputy. He couldn’t be prouder.

And he was about to put the weight of the clan on her shoulders.

"Nettlefire…" He started, then paused. "I… I am so proud of you." He paused, then turned towards her. Amber eyes warm with pride. "I’m sure you know where we’re headed now. My time as leader… these old bones won’t keep me going enough." he explained, then resumed the long arduous trek. "You’ve grown into a fine warrior, a strong deputy. Your mother and I, we have no doubt over your ability to lead the clan. Even though sometimes…" his smile faltered, slipped into sad fondness. "Sometimes I still see you as a kit. I want to protect you from the world forever… but I can’t. I can only offer you guidance and love… but the next season of ThunderClan is yours to lead." Mothermouth sat before them. He turned, nudged Nettlefire’s shoulder in affection. Then stood back.

"You make us so proud… everyday."

Nettlefire nodded steadily at her father’s words, unsorted emotions of all kinds welling up around the corners of her pale green eyes. She was quiet for a long moment.

She was hardly one for emotional speeches, but she wanted to say something-- something to her father, something that expressed what his guidance and love and belief in her meant to her, and she wanted to somehow express exactly what she was feeling in the moment...but in truth, she had no idea what she was feeling. Any clarity of emotions she had had even moments earlier vanished, and suddenly she was both excited and dreading it, filled with hope for the future and filled with fear for it, both completely prepared and unprepared for what was to come, whatever that was. It was all a mess of contradictions inside her head, and she couldn’t even fathom how to express it, any of it, in words.

But the one thing she was sure about was that of all the versions of this she pictured, having her father here with her still alive and, relatively speaking, well, was probably the best one she could imagine. She was just so grateful that he would be here with her for a little longer, at least. Time went by so quickly, so brutally, without caring about a thing. Every moment was precious and important. And this moment, of all moments, was not one to waste. She could not just head onward in silence, hiding her emotions like she always did. Not now, of all times. Even if the words seemed impossible to find, she’d have to try.

“Dad, I...I...I don’t know how I feel, to be honest. Of course I had known this would happen eventually, and lately I...well, I suspected it was coming soon. But I still...don’t know how I feel. I think I am ready, but I...I don’t know I am. But I trust you. And if you believe in me, then I will believe in myself. You may have said you can ‘only’ give me your guidance and love, but your guidance and love mean the world to me. I am going to keep making you proud-- I promise,”

The she-cat turned her head towards the cave, and then back again to her father.

“I guess...I guess it is time for me to go, then?”

Oakstar felt his chest swell with pride at his daughter. The other outcomes were ones he could imagine… and he didn’t want them. He couldn’t imagine a world where he left his daughter to take this journey alone. It was hard enough together… but he’d made the journey before without the old leader by his side. It had been agony in every step. He chuffed in approval, then padded into the cave of mothermouth. For now, they travelled single file into the dark, where the moonstone stood tall and proud among the ordinary rock.

He blinked at it, uncertainty in his vision. What would he see? Who would greet him. He paused to take a deep breath, then looked back at Nettlefire.
"Well. Suppose we better not keep Starclan waiting too long." He joked, it was unlikely they were just waiting for him… right? His nose pressed to the cold stone, eyes closed into darkness while the world fell away from him suddenly. The rapid sensation of falling until he hit solid ground. His dark tabby pelt covered in starry green grass while he groaned and stood. He didn’t see Nettlefire anywhere. What he did see, was an orange pelted tom.

There was no question in his gaze. No denial, nor a criticism. Instead the tom’s tail merely twitched behind him. A slow blink of green eyes.
"[color:bf3e=#7531Oc]I’d ask if you were sure… but I’ve seen you grow weaker. I’ve seen you try valiantly to do what you can. You’ve done well to lead while you could, and I won’t make it painful by trying to deny you.” Oakstar watched Featherheart step up to him. Their noses only an inch apart. "[color:bf3e=#7531Oc]When you wake… you will be a warrior again. Step forward… and I will return the lives so your daughter may receive them in your stead.”

There was a pause. Oakstar stood, filled with unease. What would his clanmates think? Surely… they probably knew. He looked down towards the ground. Leopardstar hadn’t come to greet him. Was his brother disappointed in him? He had no right to demand the answer of course. His daughter was waiting, somewhere here. Ready to receive her own lives and begin her own life as leader. He raised his head, shoulders squared proudly. Here, his leg didn’t ache, his limbs didn’t hurt as much as the failures did. He stepped forward, and blindness met him. The sudden feeling of something being ripped from him, now missing, but also left him… lighter.

"[color:bf3e=#7531Oc]Go live your last life with your family… you deserve it.” Featherheart’s features came into view slowly as the white faded, but the tom himself slowly began to pad away. The forest of stars rustled while Oak-... what was he now? Starclan had given him the name Oak, his warrior name had been Marshstorm… Oakstorm? He wondered these questions while he watched the forest fade. Leaving him on the cavern floor, watching over his daughter’s sleeping form.

Nettlefire walked towards Mothermouth with something almost resembling confidence. The only other time she had been here, like with many cats, was on her moonstone journey as an apprentice. So she knew what to expect, at least a little bit. Still, she was sure nothing could really prepare her for what this would be like.

But onward she went, as everyone must, to where the future awaited her.

--

The gray she-cat stared around her at the world she had “woken up” into. It was beautiful, but the feeling of changing from one place to another was so deeply surreal, it was hard to focus on the beauty. She took a moment to orient herself.


"Hello, Nettlefire."

A small voice drifted over to the deputy’s ears. Out emerged a young warrior, with a white pelt flecked with stars. Her sapphire-blue eyes no longer held any regret, grief or sadness. Willowheart smiled at the other she-cat kindly. "It's been a while." Padding closer to Nettlefire, Willowheart pressed her nose to hers. “With this life I give you generosity. May you use it to be generous to your Clanmates and other cats in need.”

Nettlefire felt the life dance through her. It was like the feeling of sunlight spreading warmly across one's pelt as you rested side by side with your clanmates during a precious moment of respite after a long day. It was a feeling that was tranquil, kind-- and best when shared.

“Willowheart--  I-- I am so sorry. You were much too young to die...I wish I could have done something,”

"It isn't your fault. Besides, you can still save other cats. You're going to have nine lives, aren't you?"

“That is true. I will do my best to save anyone I can. Thank you, Willowheart. This perhaps doesn’t mean much now, but...I wish you well, young one,”

Stepping back, Willowheart waved her brown-tipped tail in a goodbye and vanished.

Nettlefire waited to see who would be next. Dacedream stepped forward. Another clanmate who died with far too much potential left ahead of her.

Nettlefire felt quite certain she would be seeing a lot of that tonight.


This ceremony was an honor beyond anything that the starry warrior had ever imagined for herself. Nettlefire and Dacedream hadn't been the greatest friends in life, but that was merely because their ages, interests, and social circles had scarcely given them reason or opportunity to interact personally very often. The mottled StarClan warrior had been friendly to all of her Clanmates until her sudden, unfortunate end; the deputy, soon to be leader of ThunderClan, was no exception. Dacedream had heard and seen Nettlefire's soft-spoken thoughtfulness in action through her time helping Oakstar lead the Clan. Never had the queen felt undervalued or overworked by the deputy: Nettlefire had a solid head on her shoulders despite the turmoil that she had endured since a young age in the Clan she loved. She was loyal, capable, skilled, and brave. She was really a born leader.

"Hi, Nettlefire!" Dacedream greeted her former Clanmate with a bubbly, enthusiastic purr. The queen's fur was shining with starlight. She seemed to look as bright as her mood had always been in life. "I'm really happy you're here now - because it's a good day for it, not 'cause it's the only day for it. You know?" she chirped. She continued. "I know things have been a little bit scary lately, but Oakstar was right: the next season of ThunderClan is yours to lead, and they need all the strength of a good, brave cat like you to help them through the new stuff. You're really brave, Nettlefire, and strong and talented and good at fighting and all that. You'll make sure ThunderClan's warriors are the best, but you should also make sure they're the happiest!"

The pale tortoiseshell stepped forward and pressed her apricot nose to Nettlefire's, her voice a little more husky as she meowed, "I give you a life of joy. Remember the bright, warm spots in life when things are cold and dark. Joy can lend strength to the weakest paws! Cherish all the cats who love you, all the cats who you love - all the time spent with our Clan - and know that they will fight for you: for the joy that you bring to them and the safety you will struggle to bring to and keep for them." Dacedream stepped away as the energy of the life flowed from herself to the ThunderClan leader-to-be, leaving her silvery whiskers quivering. She dipped her head and finished, "Never leave joy behind: there's always room in our hearts to be happy about the things that are good." Respectfully Dacedream stepped away, feeling a flutter of hope for the Clan that held her remaining daughters.

This life’s energy was warm, too, but it was brighter, faster than the last one. Nettlefire felt it leap through her, lilting along like a songbird. It was a strange sensation for the gray she-cat. Nettlefire had strived her whole life to be strong, to be good, to do right-- but she’d always struggled with joy. She clung to the last moments of the life as it surged through her, and dipped her head in deep gratitude to Dacedream and the gift the she-cat had given her, then stood at the ready to receive the next life as Dacedream was followed by her son.


There was little ceremony when Jaydream stepped forward, his mottled pelt sparkling with stars, but his dark blue eyes held a warmth that he had rarely shown in life as he appraised the leader-to-be. The tom lifted his head, gaze boring into Nettlefire's as he spoke. "Oakstar has chosen his successor wisely." He leaned in, touching his nose to hers. "With this life, I give you empathy. You will find that there is a time where leadership is more than just giving orders and expecting them to be followed," he told her gently. "Sometimes, you need to put yourself in the pawsteps of those you love, and even those you do not, to understand their point of view, and what drives them. Only then can you understand their grievances, and perhaps... even predict their path." Jaydream closed his eyes as he pulled away, a flicker of sorrow on his features, but he smiled as he observed her once more. "You will do well." And then he turned and was gone.

The life of empathy felt different than Nettlefire had expected it too. She had expected something warm, like the last two lives had been, but this life was strangely cool. It was the feeling of looking deep into a pool of water, and though you were only looking, still being able to almost feel the cold ripples of water that ran through your reflection.

Nettlefire watched as Leopardstar stepped forward next. He had been ThunderClan’s leader when she was born, though he had retired when she was only a very young apprentice, so she didn’t remember his time as leader all that much. Even so she felt knew him well, both by appearance and from tales.  

His golden spotted coat crystalized by starlight, Leopardstar smiled gently as he dipped his head in greeting to Nettlefire, hazel eyes glistening with untold emotion.  However, when his deep voice finally found a way out of his mouth, his feelings became clear.  “So, Oakstar’s era has come to an end…  Even in death, it’s still so strange to me how time can change every aspect of life as we know it.  Soon enough, every cat that I lived beside will no longer be considered friends and loved ones...instead, they will be relics of history, stories told to appease the curiosity of fidgety kits.  Life marches on without those once caught in its endless dance of joy and suffering, laid to rest in the peaceful sky of eternity.  Most might call that a depressing notion, and when I was alive I would’ve been quick to agree, but now...I see the truth. Nothing can stay the same forever, or else it will become stagnant and stale.  What once was a flowing stream of beautiful, new ideas will, with time’s intervention, become a brackish pond.  You can continue to drink out of it, taking sips of the muddy water and pretending that it still tastes as clean and fresh as before, but it’s simply a lie.  For the clans - for life itself - to keep moving forward, you must look for new water.  New ideas.  New hope.  If not, someday that weed-filled pool will swallow you whole, tangling and drowning you in obligation and tradition.  Some say that I myself was a fresh spring, found on the outskirts of the known and used for all I was worth, but in my opinion...I saw myself more like a puddle.  Soaking up everything the world was gracious enough to give me, and holding it for as long as I could.  Fresh water, muddy water, all of it; when you were born with nothing, everything was new and valuable, and I tried my best to lead ThunderClan using a mix of both.  Old is not always bad, as well as new was not always good.  You must have a mix of both.”

Bending his head to touch noses with Nettlefire, Leopardstar closed his eyes.  “With this life, I give you the gift of balance.  To know when to reach into the past for knowledge, as well as when to reach out into the future for hope.  As Oakstar steps down, do not see him as a used spring, but as a pond of wisdom.  Take from him what you want to keep, and discard what you want to do away with.  The same goes for me, and Blizzardstar, and Darkstar.  All I ask...is that you cherish what we once were.  For someday, history will view you in the same light...and I pray that it will see the best leader ThunderClan ever had.”

Suddenly Nettlefire felt as if she was up, up and touching the sky, on the edge of a precipice, the world small and distantly below. But there was no fear in the feeling; because she knew her paws were steady, well-placed-- and in perfect balance with each other.

Once the power of the life ran its course through her body, Leopardstar stepped away, starlit tears sliding down his face.  However, he bent once more towards her ear, and whispered; “Tell your father that I, his brother, will always be proud of what he became...and that when the day comes for him to leave the world, I will be waiting for him with open paws.”  With a final supportive smile, Leopardstar walked back into line and nodded to the next life-giver to step forward.

“Thank you, Leopardstar,” Nettlefire said gratefully as he was stepping away, “And I promise I will tell him,”

ThunderClan’s former leader stepped away, and one of its former deputies stepped forward. It was Beartooth, her father’s first deputy. And I’ll be choosing my own deputy soon enough Nettlefire thought briefly.

Moons had passed since life had been stripped from his lungs, and the former deputy found every moment to be as peaceful as the last. In life, Beartooth had always been inept at handling emotions tactfully and fully pouring into the many relationships that he had forged, something that inevitably led to an untimely death. Sure, he had used every ounce of his naturally born brutish strength to serve his kin and clan, but to some that had never been enough. Houndheart was something he tried not to think much of as he allowed the thoughtlessness of eternal bliss to fulfill a void in his chest that could have never been soothed in the forest. So many regrets marred the tabby tom’s attempt at life, things that could never be forgotten. But he had earned his rest and knew that Ferretnose and Harefoot would have wanted him to have it.

They would be here when it was time; that thought kept him going.

For now, however, it appeared that the duties had not ended, even in Starclan. Like the passing moons, times changed as well. Oakstar would no longer lead at the head of Thunderclan as he had done for so long. A new leader would rise and stand atop the great rock. Beartooth had always respected and honored his former mentor. After the Shadowclan born tom’s own various burdens, he too deserved to rest his paws. Nettlefire was a fine young cat and would no doubt serve her clan well. It would be an honor to give her the gift of life, as he had done for Shadowclan’s leader, in a way making reparations for the divide between their clans. But Shadowclan and Thunderclan were interwoven in more ways than one, their blood flowed through the she-cat’s veins as well. Already, with Flintstar and Oakstar, the scars of the forest had begun to heal. Beartooth didn’t take too much time to mull over this, as it wasn’t his nature, but rather stepped forward as the time for him to greet her had come.

They had hardly interacted outside of patrols and shared dens, and being the stoic creature he was, Beartooth seldom chatted with others outside of necessity. But as he stared into the eyes of the young she-cat, he saw a variety of things. Former apprentices, mentors, warriors, kits even… the whole of Thunderclan was in her gaze. Oakstar’s reflection was there as well. The oversized fangs that protruded from his maw dug into the memory of flesh. His eyes glistened with innumerable emotions, always reflecting the many things that he felt and understood but never showed. After a moment, a rumbling voice broke the silence, “With this life, I give you endurance. Use it for all of the moments that seem unbearable.”

Beartooth closed the gap with his monstrous paws, ones that had once left many scars and even taken lives. His nose tip touched hers gingerly, in a way that might have seemed impossible from such a large cat. Fire raced from that point and through her body, in a way that was relentless and unstoppable. It raged like the hottest flames, growing fiercer and blazing with unimaginable intensity through each of her limbs. Just when the sensation threatened to be too much, it allowed her to push through, to overcome, even if stripping the warrior’s breath away momentarily. Once it faded, he pulled back and caught her gaze once more. Beartooth declined to say anything else but he dipped his head and bowed to the earth in a greeting to Thunderclan’s leader, a leader like he never could have been.

Lead them well, Nettlestar.


Nettlefire noticed now two of the remaining cats. She smiled bittersweetly at the sight of the two of them.

My brothers. She thought, and waited for each in their turn to approach.

Coniferpaw waited patiently among the other starry-pelted cats, eyes twinkling knowingly. If he were alive, perhaps he would have shown no emotion, but as it was he had a gentle smile on his face. He finally approached his sister and mentor, heavy paws softly thumping on the starry ground as he walked. Purring softly, he began. ”Nettlefire, it’s good to see you. I know we didn’t get to talk as much as we should’ve, but I’d like to congratulate you. Only right that one of us made it.” His whiskers twitched in slight amusement and he cleared his throat before he continued. ”The path from here won’t be easy. Though worthwhile, the life of a leader is rife with sorrow and sacrifice. You must be prepared for this. I hope my gift can guide you through the road ahead.” He stepped closer and pressed his nose to hers, having to lean down a bit. ”With this life, I give you patience. No matter how difficult things may get, you must persevere with a calm mind and patient spirit.” He stepped back again and gave a little lopsided smile. ”Congratulations again, sister, and good luck. I sincerely hope I don’t see you back up here for a long time to come.” And with a twitch of his tail, he rejoined the other starry-pelted cats.

This life was the gentlest she had received so far. It was light, soft, and steady, like a feather drifting down from the sky on a windless day. Approaching the earth bit by bit, rushing for no one, disturbed by nothing.

“Goodbye, little brother...” Nettlefire said quietly as her sibling and former apprentice left. She wanted to promise herself that no one else so young would die under her watch as leader, but she knew that that would be one vow that would quickly become nothing but a naive lie. Nobody had the power to stop tragedy in its tracks, not entirely. All she could do would be to watch diligently for its approach, and step up to combat it wherever and whenever she could. Sometimes she would win that fight, and sometimes, inevitably...she would lose. But she would always try. Always try to protect her clan. With every inch of her strength, her energy, her love. She knew she could vow to do that much at least.

Next a grey-blue cat stepped out of the crowd of cats, stars dotting his stripes and pride glimmering in his amber eyes. “You have come so far, Nettlefire.” Mistwalker came forward and nuzzled his sister lovingly. “It truly has been a while.” Way back then, when he had given his life after fighting a badger. “Tell Leadad I say hello.” He could barely contain his happiness for her, though he had to adjust into a more official demeanor. Mistwalker closed his eyes and touched his nose to Nettlefire’s forehead.  “With this life, I give you composure. Use it well to remain calm in times of crisis and chaos.” He stood back upright and opened his eyes to say one last thing. “You’re going to do great.” He stepped away and returned to the crowd of starry cats.

Nettlefire felt the sensation of heat flickering at the edges of her pelt, as if she were surrounded by flames. For a moment she felt panic grip her, and she shut her eyes tightly, waiting for the heat to overtake her. And yet she remained cool. Cold, even. A chill shot through her body, breaking through her sense of panic. And though the heat of some intangible fire continued to hover around her body, she herself remained cold as ice.

By the time the sensation of the life was gone, Mistwalker had already stepped away. All the same, she quietly called out to him. “Goodbye. And I miss you,”  

A final she-cat appeared. She stood tall and dignified, with a shimmering, starry white pelt and two golden eyes that were bright with kindness.

Unlike all the others who had come to see her tonight, this was not a cat Nettlefire had ever met in life. But they had met, once before.

“I remember you-- you were the one at my moonstone. Rosefrost,” Nettlefire said, “I am sorry-- I was a little bit rude to you then, wasn’t I?”

“Oh, that’s alright,” The she-cat laughed brightly. “You had just gone through a lot,”

Rosefrost paused, and the softness in her eyes shifted into something a bit more serious, but no less kind.

“I know what I told you then was not something you had wanted to hear. I hope what I bring you now is a bit more helpful than bad news. I give you your final life-- the gift of improvisation. Sometimes-- oftentimes-- things don’t go the way we plan, and we must learn how to adjust, think on our feet, and recover quickly, or suffer the consequences. I give you this life so that you may use it well for your clan...and for yourself,”

The final life tumbled through her with the full force of a storm, switching through tones and moods with unconquerable speed. It was dizzying, painful, even-- but somehow it brought with it a sense that if she could weather it, she could weather anything.

“Well. Congratulations, Nettlestar,” Rosefrost said as she turned to leave. “And I wish you luck. Not that I think you need it too badly. I’m confident you’ll do a wonderful job. But nonetheless, I think we could all use a little luck now and again to help us along the way,”

“Thank you, Rosefrost. And I promise, I am going to do everything in my power to lead well…”

Rosefrost nodded, smiling, and then she was gone. They all were.

In just a few moments, Nettlestar would be awake, and it would be time to go home. Back to her clan.

ThunderClan’s new leader still didn’t know exactly how to feel. Perhaps she never would.

But she did know who she was.

She was someone who kept her promises.


A huge, huge thank you to everyone who wrote parts for the ceremony!:

Willowheart (Generosity)-- Windwillow
Dacedream (Joy)-- sumashira
Jaydream (Empathy)-- JJ
Leopardstar (Balance)-- RainyHeart
Beartooth (Endurance)-- Ripped
Coniferpaw (Patience)-- Snickerdoodle
Mistwalker (Composure)-- Kade