Guide Me Once More [c]

The heat grew and so did Spottedstar's restlessness. He was conflicted once more, and he didn't know who to turn to. The last time he'd been open and honest about dilemmas involving emotions, things became very awkward very quickly for him and Wolfcall, who'd been subjected to his honesty. Perhaps he should have told Foxfire instead. The leader would have to be guarded this time around. He'd been thinking very strange things, and he needed to keep them to himself before he made his final decision. So who would he turn to in this troubling time?

"Tinylegs, can I talk with you for a little while? I have some questions for you."

The former leader was as close as Spottedstar could get to a father, as weird as it was to think about. Spottedstar was older than just about everyone else in the Clan, and asking younger cats for adult advice was not very appealing. So he stood outside the elders' den awaiting a response in the dry heat of the late day. He was nervous but he was also tired. Sleep had brought on strange dreams.

Ears perking at the sound of a familiar voice outside the den, Tinylegs gave his short legs a stretch and let out a yawn. Even under the shade of the dens the heat still managed to seep inside and it felt as if he in the nursery being smothered by Queens and their kits. So, upon Spottedstar's unusual request for his presence, the little elder was more than happy to join him. Hopefully, there would be at least some sort of breeze outside the stifling den.

Waddling out and into the camp clearing where Spottedstar stood with his eyes squinted, Tinylegs gave the leader a dip of his head. It wasn't very often that the speckled tom asked for his advice, seeing as though he most likely had no interest in speaking with him of all cats, and so Spottedstar's sudden eagerness to speak with him peeked his interest. Hopefully, he wasn't in trouble for StarClan knows what...

"Of course," the elder began with a smile, his voice raspy as if it hadn't been used in a good while. "What might you want to ask me?"

Ah, here he was now. Hopefully the elder wasn't too alarmed; I have questions for you was probably too strong of a start for the conversation Spottedstar was looking for. He laid down in the shade of the elder's den and nodded to the ground beside him, inviting the small white tom to relax with him. "I... wanted to know about Moonlight." His great-grandmother had not lived past his apprentice ceremony. Memories of her were sweet and nostalgic. Though he was born in the days of Lichenmask's blood-red skies, he remembered the queen's soothing presence and gentle, reassuring tone. He could use that kind of reassurance now, especially since Firflower's passing left him without any kind of mother figure to turn to. Firflower never spoke, but her gaze said enough. Now he wanted to remember the ones who had passed long ago, almost as though he could make up for his irreverence by thinking about them now. Spottedstar watched a pair of apprentices scurrying about from den to den, delivering wet moss to cats who needed their thirst quenched. "I can't help but be curious. Of course you met each other in SkyClan, I just wanted to know how you two fell in love." It was a little embarrassing to be asking about such soft and mushy matters, but such things had been stuck in his mind lately. Even Spottedstar wasn't sure what was running through his mind.

Spottedstar's question was somewhat out of the blue, that was for sure, but as he sat there pondering the inquiry, emotions that he hadn't felt in a very long time washed over him like the waves of a river. Some happy memories, some more sorrowful... he didn't quite know how to deal with such a sudden rush of feelings, and gave his head a shake before clearing his throat to speak.

"Well, let's see," he began, sifting through his thoughts for a few moments before continuing. "After spending time with her quite often, one day, I'd decided that I was going to ask her to be my mate. Luckily for me, we took a stroll through the forest and it was perfect timing. But, as we kept going forward, I began to feel... conflicted, to say the least. Yes, I was madly in love with her and had been for some time, but did she truly love me the same, or were her interactions with me just a product from her kind-hearted nature? I pondered such doubts as we chatted among ourselves and finally, I put my paw down. Whatever her feelings for me were, I wouldn't have been able to go on without having expressed my love for her, and so I asked Moonlight to be my mate...  and she said yes," the little legged warrior mewed with a smile, his words soft and full of remembrance of that wonderful night those many, many moons ago.

"I loved her because of her faith in me, for back then, most of the clan held obvious doubt towards a cat such as I, and she loved me because of my ability to keep on persevering, in some form or other," Tinylegs finished, shifting his weight, as the side that he'd been laying on had grown sore. "I hope that answered your question?" he mewed, tilting his head to the side as he looked up to the spotted tom.