Falling Down

"Come on, Asterspark. We're almost there."

"H-Heh. Don' remember askin' for your help, kit. 'm fine, lemme g-- kkhck!"

Sparkfire flinched with a small cringe as a powerful, nasty cough interrupted her father's words. She couldn't believe herself, she had been so caught up in training her troublesome apprentice that she hadn't even noticed how sick Asterspark had become. It was just the beginning of newleaf, yet the whitecough that he had contracted from Finchstar a few Gatherings ago that had since manifested into greencough still lingered. How hadn't Mothglow and Eveningpaw known about this?

...No. She couldn't blame them for not realizing right away. Asterspark had always been a master of hiding his turmoils from the rest of the Clan. He had a way of making sure no one knew of any negative emotions the old tom may feel, so she wouldn't put it past him that he would find a way to hide his illness as well. In fact, lingering just underneath the powerful stench of sickness, she could catch a whiff of damp mushrooms. How many times had he sneaked out of camp to try and mask his scent in the marshes? You are such a frog-brain, Asterspark....

It hadn't been until just this morning that Sparkfire had finally realized what was going on. Usually, Asterspark was so well-guarded that it would be next to impossible to sneak up on him. However, she seemed to have caught him in a moment of weakness; he had been too deep in a coughing and wheezing fit to have ever hoped to choke it back and present himself as fine and well when she went to visit him with a freshly-caught mouse. He hadn't had time to put on that nonchalant mask of laid-back indifference to hide his true state from her. A few minutes later after arguing with him to see Mothglow, she finally had enough and had decided to shove him towards the medicine den herself. She really was her late mother's daughter.

"Mothglow, Eveningpaw," Sparkfire called as soon as she shoved the weakly-struggling elder into the medicine den past the fern barrier. "Is anyone here? I need you two to treat this frog-brained elder before his greencough gets the better of him."

"I'm tellin' you, Sparky, I'm f--khhaackh!" Another cough shook Asterspark down to his belly. He wheezed and laid there on the medicine den floor, lashing out his tail in frustration. He had been so careful to hide his sickness from the rest of his Clan. Why did Sparkfire have to come right then to find him hacking like something had been lodged in his throat? There were so many other cats who could benefit from his half-sister's herbs. Why waste them on an old tom who already had one paw in the grave?

"You stay here," the dark gray molly ordered in a low growl, "while I go get Flintstar. He'll want to check up on you. Honestly, how could you be so selfish...." She murmured sourly to herself as she left her frog-brained father in the den to be tended to by the medicine cats. She approached the leader's den just next den and waltzed in without even so much as an indication of her approach, let alone an invitation, as if she had just as much right to enter as the leader of ShadowClan himself did. "Flintstar, it's Asterspark. He's sick with greencough. Come help me knock some sense into the old fool."

Flintstar laid curled in his nest, his chest rising and falling in the steady rhythm of sleep. He hadn't meant to fall asleep but finally his tiredness from the few hours of sleep he always got had gotten the better of him. He stirred awake at the sound of a voice, jolting as he blinked awake. His ears perked as he caught the last of the Sparkfire's words, raising his head to stare at his sister. ...Asterspark was sick? With greencough? His whiskers twitched, pushing himself to his paws. There hadn't been any traces of the sickness in the camp recently minus whatever sickness had bedridden Thornstar for a short while before her...Untimely demise. ...But Finchstar had been sicked that Gathering a couple moons ago and it had reached Spottedstar - perhaps there was little surprise that it somehow found its way to Asterspark as well.

The leader nodded his head in acknowledgement to his sister but didn't say a word as he brushed past her to leave his den. He opened his mouth, tasting the air and followed the tracks right to the medicine cat den. The scent of Asterspark drifted from the entrance as he pushed his way in, relieved that apparently that Sparkfire had at least managed to get the tom to see Mothglow and Eveningpaw. "Asterspark," he meowed as he shouldered his way into the den, eyes quickly locking on the form of his father. His eyes narrowed slightly, whiskers twitching at the sight of the tom.

He had been doing his best to be more...Active when it came to interacting with his Clanmates and yet somehow his father's frail state had escaped his attention. There was a long silence as he settled down, pointy sitting between his father and the entrance of the den. He wanted to say something more but the words escaped him, causing his whiskers to twitch in annoyance. There was so much he wanted to say, worry for his father's health, apologies for not visiting him much lately... But what to say failed him. The words couldn't find their way onto his tongue so he would at least do his part to make sure his father did get tended to by Mothglow and Eveningpaw, even if he wasn't...Happy with it.

Her elder brother's presence in her den wasn't unexpected - he was older now, and with age came failing health, sad as it was to see. Still, Mothglow would do what she could, same as she'd always done. She thanked Sparkfire for bringing him in as she looked him over.

"You don't look fine," she informed him simply - because telling him he looked awful would be bad form, certainly, and even if it would certainly be a little-sister sort of thing to do she'd never really been the type - taking the last of the catmint and realizing that she'd really need to make that trip to Twolegplace sooner rather than later. Leaf-bare's end was fast approaching, now, but the sickness would linger if she let it. She didn't miss Flintstar's arrival either, tail twitching in acknowledgement of his presence, though her next words were meant for Asterspark. "Take this," she instructed, nudging the sprig in front of him. "Sorry there's not more left - I've been meaning to gather some, but with Eveningpaw and everything else I haven't found the time."

It's odd, she thought, how easily she found herself slipping into casual chatter. It was a comfort to herself, in some small way, she supposed: if she was focused on a conversation, then she wasn't focused on the risk of failure. Selfish, maybe, but she felt she was entitled to some small form of selfishness these days.

Asterspark rolled his eyes at the attention his silly sickness was beginning to attract. He didn't need anyone fretting over him, they all had much more important things to worry about. Besides, he was already old and frail, he was set to die any day now anyway. Besides ... there was someone in StarClan waiting for him to join him. Why couldn't Poppyheart have stayed alive? He would've had no problem taking his medicine if his beloved brother was by his side. It's not like his littermate would have let him go without it anyway.

But at the same time ... he needed to think about his two remaining kits. Flintstar and Sparkfire were both worried about him -- they didn't show it too well, but they were her kits after all. With their mother gone, they would become orphans. Nightpaw and Frostpaw were already gone as well, so they would end up only having each other, and he knew from experience that that might not be enough. Especially if they ended up having a falling out like the one he had had with his brother. And ... if he let himself die so easily anyway, he knew Poppyheart would never forgive him for it. Poppyheart had only ever had one kit with the love of his life, and because of his desires to appease to his nieces and nephews, he had lost any chances of making amends with his daughter before she ran away from the Clan. He was sure Poppyheart would want him to give it his all in being there for his kits.

“...Alright, you win,” he finally mumbled in defeat. He stretched his neck out and licked up the last of the catmint. He had never tasted catmint before because he never had reason to, but it tasted like nothing he had ever eaten before. It definitely made him crave more, which was weird because cats weren’t naturally supposed to eat plants. ...He quickly saw the irony in that thought. Swallowing the morsel, he sighed gravelly and laid his head back down in the nest, trying to rest, only for another bout of coughing to shake him.

Flintstar watched his father with his casual glare, tail curled around his paws as he kneaded at the ground. His whiskers twitched as Asterspark finally gave in and lapped up the catmint before he curled into the nest with more coughs. The leader didn't want to admit it but it...Pained him to see his father like this, feeling some kit-ish selfishness rise in his chest. He...He didn't want to lose his father, not so soon after Thornstar's terrible death. He hated it, every time he lost a family member. Poppyheart had been terrible enough and while he never showed it...It hurt him when Frostpaw had disappeared without a trace - although he had held it together much better than Thornstar had. Now Thornstar was gone and Asterspark was... "...Do you think he will be okay?" the leader finally uttered, turning his attention onto Mothglow. The fact that they were out of catmint wasn't great - if what had just been given to the elderly tom was not enough...

Flintstar's gaze darken at the thought, suddenly questioning if he was truly ready to face the reality that he may lose even more family. He hated it, the way it...Hurt. He had never felt such pain when it came to the death of other cats for one reason or another. He had known it was odd but he had never gotten an idea of what it was like to be so...Mournful until Poppyheart's death. And now it seemed he was losing everybody. He had promised himself that he would do what he could to protect what he had left but...A sickness? How was he suppose to protect Asterspark from a sickness. This was not a fight he could wage - and he could only hope that Mothglow's skills would be enough.

The ever-optimistic Mothglow's smile dropped, her ears flattening as reality began to set in. "I don't know," she admitted softly. "There's only so much I can do, and that's the last of the catmint... If what he needs is more of it, then I could go and ask one of the other medicine cats, but I don't think there would be enough time to get back. There's definitely not enough time to get to the Twolegplace and back."

Sparkfire stared down at her father, a torrent of emotions battling within her. She felt so helpless, and it made her so angry. If sickness were a physical enemy, she'd have sent it running with its tail tucked between its legs by now. But ... it wasn't. The only two cats who could fight this battle were Mothglow and Asterspark himself. There was nothing she could do to help him even if she wanted to.

Well ... maybe that wasn't entirely true.

"I'll get the herbs for Asterspark," she meowed suddenly to Mothglow, fixing her gaze with a determined look. "With all due respect for your physical finesse, Mothglow, warriors are trained to be quick in battle and agile while hunting. If I push myself harder than I ever have before, I can gather enough catmint from Twolegplace to help him through the night. That way, you'll have more time to gather enough to cure him tomorrow." She didn't look away from the medicine cat for even a second, determined to show her she could do it. This would be the most demanding task she would have to perform by far, but she knew that she would be able to do it if it meant saving her father's life.

"I was a warrior apprentice, Sparkfire, and just because I'm a medicine cat now doesn't mean I forgot everything I was taught," Mothglow replied. "And besides that, the Twolegplace trip isn't one you can do in a day. Not safely, at least, and we certainly don't need two sick cats to deal with from you pushing yourself further than you should."

"Then let me at least try," Sparkfire pleaded. Her ears lowered as she took a couple steps towards her half-aunt, all facades of stoic strength and determination crumbling away to reveal a scared, desperate daughter underneath. "Flintshard and I have already lost so much, and we were powerless to prevent our family's deaths. But if there is even an inkling of hope that I can prevent my father's, I must take it. If not for my father, then for our Clanmate. That is what ShadowClan stands for." She turned her gaze to her brother, staring desperately at him. "I implore you, Flintstar. Let me try to save our father."

Flintstar glanced over his shoulder at his sister as she spoke up, listening as she offered to go out and try to collect the catmint that Asterspark so desperately needed. There was something...Nice in his sister's determination, recalling that fond evening where they had gone hunting together and had even made a tournament out of it - if anything in an effort to bond. She had done well and had won - perhaps this was another task that would be suited for her. He understood where she was coming from - the helplessness that they felt in watching their ailing father. His ears twitched as Mothglow denied it, only for Sparkfire to plead with the she-cat before she turned her gaze onto him.

There was a long silence as he looked between the two she-cats, a little unsure on what side to take. He knew why Sparkfire wanted to do this so badly, he had half a mind to offer himself up to go but... He knew he did not have the speed that Sparkfire had - he was built for battle, for being powerful but...Slow. Sparkfire was more for hunting, quick and agile. If either of the two could do it... But he also understood Mothglow's concerns. He did not feel right in sending his sister to the Twolegplace. It was dangerous, full of rogues, twolegs and monsters. And the strain that it could take to make it there and back in time...

...But he had promised himself that he would do what he could do protect his family. And he had a feeling that Sparkfire had made the same promise on her own. "I...I will allow this. I know where Sparkfire is coming from - I wish to do whatever I can to protect what is left of our family, no matter the cost as well. If you think you can do it, Sparkfire, then go. But please, do be careful and do not push yourself to hard. I do not wish to lose you as well," he said. He paused, turning to look at Mothglow. "I do understand your worries, Mothglow. But... I think you do understand as well that we do not want to feel...Powerless in this matter. If there is even the slightest chance we - Sparkfire - can help and maybe save his life...Then it is a chance worth taking, I think."

More happiness swelled up in the warrior's chest than ever after hearing her brother give her permission to carry out her duty. Sparkfire stood up straight and proud, nodding her head affirmatively. "I will return as soon as I possibly can. I will not let you down." Lowering her head to her sickly father, she touched her nose to the elder's ear, frowning at how unnaturally hot it felt. "You will be just fine, Asterspark, I promise." With that, she immediately turned and streaked out of the medicine den, weaving around her Clanmates passing through across the clearing, breaking through the thorn barrier.

"I understand," Mothglow murmured. "He's my kin, too. But I don't want to lose anyone else..."

It felt like every time she blinked, someone she loved was gone. Would that fate befall the rest of them, too?