How Can I Love When I'm Afraid to Fall? {SOLO}

The cream she-cat shivered as the chill crept over her. It was barely dawn. The horizon blazed orange, red, and yellow, the sun peeking out over clouds. It was cold, not that she realized. Icy breath escaped the she-cat as she shifted her paws slightly. She was headed towards her favorite spot, the one place she felt at peace. This place calmed her anxiety, made her breathe more clearly, calmly. Here, in this place, she felt as if everything truly was okay. Back in camp, everything was a constant reminder that her life was in total chaos, that every breath felt forced, that nothing was really worth it. She was afraid that everyone else would notice this change in her. But how could she carry on like everything was normal? He didn't even apologize. Was he even sorry? Tears blurred her vision, but she shook them away. When she reached her favorite spot none of this would matter. She'd be at peace for just a little while. A few starry warriors shone up in the sky still, remaining until the sun's glare would chase them away. She scowled.

Nothing good had come from those stars; only bad so far. Would it always be like this? The thought made her scowl deeper. No bother, she could see her spot up ahead now. That was the only thing that mattered. She ran for it, relishing in the sweet heather scent mixed with the calming aura of lavender. Ah, how this place seemed to make everything okay again. Made her feel like she wasn't broken. She sat and wrapped her tail around her. Her soft blue eyes closed, and she let herself relax again. She felt calmer now. She could face what lay ahead of the day. She did this each morning. If she didn't, she'd probably snap. The lavender had a way of soothing her nerves when combined with fresh heather. She sat motionless for a while. About thirty minutes had passed when she stood up again. She turned to walk away but a sharp voice stopped her.

"Softpaw!"

Of course. If there was one cat she couldn't shake, it was him. Her darling, precious brother. The ginger proceeded to rush towards her, green eyes glittering with worry and anxiety for her. She cringed. He'd come for answers, she could tell by the underlying bold stubbornness in his jade eyes. For reasons she didn't know, the cream tabby broke then and there. Tears freely flowing, she allowed Downpaw to wrap her in some sort of embrace, tears brimming in his own eyes as he watched his sister cry. Oh, how it hurt him so. When she'd collapsed in camp, he'd been terrified. Then after the medicine cat gathering, she'd been silent. Now he was terrified for her. What had happened that hurt her so badly? He tried to soothe her and when she began to speak tried to shush her, but she couldn't be stopped. She would tell him the truth, even it destroyed her to do so. She'd started it now, and not even StarClan themsevles could stop her.

"Oh, Downpaw! I-I.. I-I'm so sorry! I'e been horrid to you since the h-half-moon... B-but I.. Oh, it was so awful.. Could you believe h-he did it?" She broke off as a sobbed choked her.
"Who, and what did he do?" Downpaw asked, bewildered but concerned.
"Aspenheart!" She half-sobbed-half-yowled. A-and StarClan. I-it, it was all their fault. I yelled at them. But.. But Aspen... He.. He got angry.. He hit me.. He hit me hard. I fell. And--and he didn't even apologize!" By now, she broke down fully, unable to speak anymore. She'd did it. She'd told someone.

Downpaw felt nothing but cold, red anger. How dare he hurt Softpaw? What gave him the right to hurt her? How could he? Didn't he care about her? Didn't anyone care about her? Did NOBODY care? No one had noticed when she'd overworked herself. Except him. He noticed at the last second, yes, but he noticed. And now this? How had he been the only one to realize something was off? What about Goldengale, Clovertwist, Barleytuft, Graybriar? Had they really been so blind? Had they really shouldered aside her pain? How could they be so... So selfish? Softpaw deserved better. She would get better. She cared about everyone, but who cared about her? She loved everyone, but who loved her?

Aspenheart would pay, he had to. He wouldn't get away with this. He'd have to pay his dues. He hurt Softpaw. And Downpaw would hurt him back.
"Shh... Shh.. It's okay Softpaw, it's okay. I'll protect you, nobody will ever hurt you again, I promise. Don't cry, I'll fix everything..."

Softpaw didn't know what he meant by that, but right now, it was what she needed to hear. Downpaw would take care of her, everything would be okay. Downpaw was the best brother she could ask for. His soothing licks calmed her, and she felt comforted as if everything was okay. And that was all she wanted right now.