A Needed Chat

A couple days had passed since her acceptance into WindClan, and Dappleshine, despite loving every moment of being close to Raventail, and waking up at his side, was admittedly having a bit of trouble adjusting. The terror that came with the discovery of prey had only heightened her uncertainty, as she pieced together the circumstances bit by bit. This must have been the danger Raventail had referred to when he had left, but she had only the stories and scars to reference on cats who were more akin to strangers than family. She had been hesitant, nervous almost, to try to approach one of the few cats she did know, but as she looked around the camp in the early hours of the morning her eyes landed on the older tom.

Today would be the day that she finally spoke to him, and attempted to better explain the circumstances surrounding her arrival, and attempt to mend the bond they had formed over the moons. Even if she made a fool of herself trying to chase a rabbit over the open moors, it wouldn't be near what she had faced catching her fish.... She hoped. Rabbits didn't kick those that missed them, did they? The silly thought rose as she padded over, the cool leaf-fall wind blowing through her long fur, neatly groomed to it's normal state now. Such a difference from the dirty, shambled mess it had been when she came to WindClan at first.

Drawing near Barleytuft, she sat in front of him and immediately lowered her head respectfully before raising it to meet his eyes. She was uncertain of what to do, and how to be a WindClan cat, but one thing she was certain of was that she had made the right choice, and she would do whatever it took to prove that to everyone else. Including Barleytuft. Her voice was soft but unshaking as she posed question to the more experienced tom.
"Good morning, Barleytuft. Would you mind joining me for a hunt? I have a lot I want to talk to you about, and I lot to learn, and I would be honored if you would join me... If you're not busy, that is."

Barleytuft had not treated his once-friend Raventail the same since the tom had returned; how could he? The senior warrior gave the deputy the respect that he was owed, and somehow still the black tom couldn't even meet the peaceful elder warrior's gaze. Barleytuft was tired of it - really, he was just tired. He was tired of secret agendas and hidden feelings and not receiving honest communication. Only his kits and his medicine cat seemed to offer truth without needing it pried from their desperately hooked claws.

The senior warrior wasn't thinking explicitly of those things as he sat deep in thought inside the camp, but his face was distant and distracted. Barleytuft was mildly surprised when he realized a certain RiverClan cat had appeared before him and had sat, addressing him almost with the reverence of a devout apprentice to their first StarClan warrior. Dappleshine greeted him kindly and requested a walk, and a talk, together.

For a moment Barleytuft looked at her, nearly lost in thought. Ah, Dappleshine. The senior warrior was quite used to newcomers to the Clan, but truthfully discovering that she had been forced from her birth Clan because she and Raventail were now mates had quite stunned and surprised him. Part of him was angry he hadn't put it together himself, yet another questioned: Why? Their friendship had grown and developed, and thought Torrentstar eventually took away Dappleshine's choice, still her choice was willingly made. She had come to WindClan. She had chosen Raventail.

After an instant, the pale tabby tom smiled a little awkwardly with the healing scars on his muzzle. "Sure, Dappleshine. I'm sure you have lots of questions - and so do I. Some understanding would be very welcome at the moment for us both," Barleytuft rumbled. He rose to his paws and flicked his tail, meowing, "Well, come on, then, let's go hunt." The long-bodied tom led the way out of the camp, his attention flicking back to the silvery she-cat just behind.

For a couple heartbeats Barleytuft only looked at her, seeming to be deep in thought. Another cool breeze ruffled her fur again as he seemed to focus, and a lopsided smile formed on the tom's face. Watching the way it pulled at the wounds that seemed relatively fresh still, Dappleshine internally winced in sympathy. That had to have hurt.... Hopefully it would heal quickly under Mistle- no, Aspenheart and Mistystripe's care. Mistlepaw was in RiverClan. His answer came rumbling forth, and Dappleshine smiled as he agreed to her offer. "Thank you, Barleytuft, understanding would be well-appreciated."

He stood, and led the way, glancing over his shoulder once at her. Giving a smile in return, she caught up to his side quickly as they made their way out of the camp, tail sweeping behind her. "Right behind you!" Silence stretched between them as they got out of earshot of the camp, and it continued as Dappleshine spotted something just among the stalks of gorse nearby. A rabbit, lean but big, nibbling near the base of the plant. Crouching low as she had when she would attempt to catch them in RiverClan, she began to slowly, silently, stalk towards the rabbit. Soon she would be close enough to make a dash for it....

Kicking off the ground with her hind legs suddenly, Dappleshine began to speed towards the rabbit. For a heartbeat she thought she had started running too soon, but as the rabbit turned and realized the gorse at it's back was blocking it's path it had to shift direction, which made up for the timing on her part. Nimbly catching it between her jaws as she sped by, she slowed and ended it's breaths before turning back to the older tom. Carrying her catch back with pride, she set it down at her paws before meeting his eyes again. "I'm sure you have more questions than I do, and more pressing ones. I will tell you everything, in it's entirety, whatever you want to ask I will answer truthfully. Always. I consider you to be one of the wisest, strongest cats I know, I always have, and... I don't want to have to hide anymore, Barleytuft. So please, ask away."

Catch was successful! -3 SP.
237/240 SP

The member 'Mossman' has done the following action : Dices roll

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'Hunting Dice' : 5

Barleytuft's companion was polite and soft-spoken as always, expressing gratitude at his acceptance of her offer and wasting no time in falling into step behind him. The senior warrior would've been happier to be out on the moors if not for the seemingly serious talk looming ahead and for the mate who would likely bitterly note his absence back in camp. He tried not to think of the latter too hard, for it wouldn't do him any good. Barleytuft simply continued to lope along the rolling hills with the silvery-gray RiverClan cat just behind and to the side of him. He thought of what he might say - the questions that had been flickering through his head since Raventail had returned and brought the she-cat they'd befriended on the lake shore with him. He wondered which ones Dappleshine had already prepared answers for; the intelligent she-cat had quickly gathered that the air between them needed clearing.

After they'd been moving quietly for a while, the sound of the faintest rustling caught Barleytuft's attention. He knew immediately that a rabbit - or a small hare - was doing something unsuspectingly nearby, but much to his surprise Dappleshine was the first to locate it. The she-cat began to move forwards and Barleytuft slowed his own pace to let her pull ahead, even ducking himself so as to avoid alerting the prey with his presence. As Dappleshine continued to draw closer and closer to the target, Barleytuft found his tail twitching ever so slightly as he recalled the time he'd met Dappleshine on the Gorge and fetched Raventail for her. She'd caught a rabbit while they were gone, and the senior warrior was realizing now that she seemed to have always had a knack for it.

The RiverClan cat's final approach was almost seamless. With a fearsome predator at its front and a tangle of gorse at its back, the rabbit scrambled uselessly before the feline lunged at it. Dappleshine made the kill skillfully, though Barleytuft noted without the gorse the rabbit would have been able to make an escape. It was a mistake any WindClan apprentice could make, and even so she didn't make it: she succeeded, and Dappleshine returned with her prize. Barleytuft greeted her with an impressed and congratulatory dip of his head. The time had come to talk.

Barleytuft smirked slightly at her words. "Dappleshine, you flatter me," he began with a gentle chuckle, looking down at the rabbit which sat at her paws. He thought for a moment before he continued, "Everything you said about loving Raventail but burying it, about being all you could be for RiverClan, about Torrentstar saying those cruel and hateful things and chasing you away, I believe." That much he was certain of. It was disquietingly little. Everything else was so murky. He thought he would start simple. "How long have you known your feelings for Raventail?" Again his mind thought to the day he'd fetched the tom in question from camp at Dappleshine's request. He had thought nothing of it; had he been mouse-brained and blind then, or had his friend not realized yet?

Barleytuft nodded at her, and she felt warm appreciation for the older tom flood in her chest. She sat down, her tail laying flat upon the ground as his gaze traveled to the rabbit before speaking. He confirmed what he did believe, and Dappleshine was relieved that he believed as much as he did. Especially everything with Torrentstar, she had dreaded the thought of reopening that wound, but had been prepared to in the case Barleytuft asked it of her. Instead, he asked how long she had known. That answer was one she knew well, after all, it had hit her in a sudden flash of realization.

"As far as when I realized, it's something I can easily pinpoint. It was only a sunrise or two after we met at the gorge, and you fetched him for me. I had been restless, so I decided to go out for an early morning hunt. My brother still hadn't returned, and I fear he's long dead. Wasppaw had withdrawn, and didn't want to be around anyone anymore, since the events in the mountains.... Magpiepaw, a tom who I had held so dear, had turned away from me at my warrior ceremony and ignored me. There was so much happening, and I just needed space to clear my head. I had a successful hunt, it was a beautiful, quiet morning. Perfect really. One of my first catches was this huge hare, plump and wonderful. After catching the hare, you and Raventail were on my mind. I couldn't wait to see you both at the next Gathering."

She sighed, bringing her tail in closer. "As I was collecting my prey to return after some rest, an eagle attacked me, and tried to take the hare from my jaws. I fought it alone, my thoughts still going crazy with everything that had been happening. The hurt of my wounds, the pride that I was gaining the upper paw, the fear that my win against ab eagle would only further wedge the friendship between Magpiepaw and I apart... Finally, the battle was over, and I had an eagle to add to the fresh-kill pile. I realized that I didn't want to go back to camp though. This major accomplishment, and I didn't even want to share it with my clanmates right away... The first person I wanted to share it with was him. A storm had rolled in, and it didn't make any sense, I was getting so excited at the idea, the thought of seeing him, even from a distance. It just wasn't right. I thought something was wrong, that I had caught a cold, or my wounds were that bad... But as I made my way into RiverClan's camp, I realized."

Her blue eyes searched Barleytuft's gaze for understanding. "Even though we were from different clans, he was always there. Whenever I needed him, I could always find him, he would always come. He had no reason to, other than to be my friend. And before I knew it, I had completely fallen for his kindness, his warmth... His understanding. When I had no one to turn to in my clan, he was there. As those I love found their own paths, he was there. He'd always been there, and I had been too fish-brained to see it, so wrapped around the paws of those who wouldn't bother to give me a second glance... It changed after that day. I knew. Nothing was the same after that. I tried to move past it, to hide it. I was scared. Scared of what Jaystar would do, what Torrentstar, who was Scorchclaw at the time, would do. I was scared how Raventail would feel, if I told him. I didn't want to scare him away, because of my feelings for him. I resigned myself to keeping it hidden, and being alone. He loved WindClan so much, I could never ask him to leave for me. I would never force him to make that decision... So I tried to move on. I had Dacepaw, but the tom who gathered her... We both knew it wasn't right. We adored her, both of us, but in the end they went their own way. It solidified how I felt about Raventail. It's something I've known for moons, Barleytuft, but I've been so afraid of denial, of being cast aside again... That I let it hold me back even as I urged others forward."

Blinking, she realized that she had been going on for several heartbeats. Embarrassed now, having delved into the details, she scuffled a paw in the grass and dirt, breaking eye contact.

Barleytuft watched Dappleshine's face when he asked his question. Much to his heartwarming surprise - although, perhaps he wasn't really surprised - there was a look of reminiscence suddenly present in the she-cat's expression as she began to answer. While the senior warrior hadn't been expecting a grand tale, it fit; he would have done the same if someone asked him when he realized he loved Graybriar. The pale tabby tom listened intently as she explained her experience. When Dappleshine sought his gaze, he blinked slowly, revealing nothing but nodding once to show he was still listening. She continued and he felt his heart ache sympathetically at the mention of her kit and the tom who had fathered her. When at last Dappleshine went silent, the WindClan warrior took in a deep breath and let out a long, slow exhale.

"So... you took the leap of faith - of love. You said, in camp, that you had come to tell Raventail your feelings, and he didn't return them right away - that's when he told you he was leaving." Barleytuft's face darkened, an angry growl in his head said bitterly, And somehow he didn't tell any of us. He just felt betrayed. He sighed, knowing it wasn't Dappleshine's fault that Raventail made the choice he did or that she happened to run into him that day. Raventail had left her just the same as he'd left his Clan. Barleytuft asked, nervously, "What... happened in RiverClan? You... You told us what Torrentstar had said. Is that all he did?"

Dappleshine nodded at his starting words, a hint of relief that the older tom understood. As his face darkened with the next words though, her head lowered slightly. "I had gone to the gorge hoping to maybe see him, or any of you, again. I had been considering it greatly, but I won't lie - I was still nervous. If he declined, what would that have held? I was scared that the friendship would be broken... And then I'd really have no cat to turn to. Torrentstar had already turned his back on me after the events at the Gathering surrounding Dacepaw. When he did appear, I was surprised, and I knew something was wrong.... He shared his news before I shared mine. He still made the choice to go, to find where his heart lay. I have to admit, it hurt, stung really. On the same paw though, I'm glad that he went, and found what he was looking for... What he needed to see and realize. He would have doubted himself and his choices for moons if he hadn't done what he did, I feel." The she-cat's voice trailed off as Barleytuft asked the next difficult question.


Her gray head swept from side to side, shaking her head in bitter sadness, dark grief reflecting in her expression. "He chased me. After saying those things, he made it clear that I was never welcome in RiverClan again, chasing me to the gorge. I had to make the leap, physically this time. That was why I had so many scratches on my paws. I don't know what would have happened had he caught me... I didn't much care to find out for myself. After that... I don't know. I don't know what he told the clan, if anything at all. He had already distanced himself from me so much.... He probably didn't care at all anymore. Well, he doesn't know, after all he said... That's the one thing I know for sure."

The senior warrior nodded once, mirroring Dappleshine's movement as she confirmed what he'd asked. She went on to clarify that the day she'd found Raventail and confessed her feelings - the day he'd decided to leave - it hadn't been her goal to tell him at first. Barleytuft continued to listen quietly as the former RiverClan cat described the situation: her fear and uncertainty, her concern, her feeling of bitterness when Raventail explained the reason he was out. The next words she said could only be spoken by one who dearly loved and understood and longed to accept: Dappleshine supported his choice. Barleytuft listened to her words silently, fighting his reflexive urge to argue that it was a bad choice. Time would tell if Raventail proved her right.

The darkest part was yet to come, though. Despite that RiverClan and Torrentstar meant nothing to him or his duties as a warrior, Barleytuft still felt a certain betrayal and disgust as he listened to his friend explain what she went through at his paws. He may not have laid a claw on her, but he had shredded her heart. Barleytuft couldn't fathom saying such things to any cat, let alone any of his kits - cats he had raised from the nursery - for loving someone of a different Clan, or likely for anything. The senior warrior gritted his teeth, petting out a long, low, angry breath. "You didn't deserve that," he said shortly after some time of silence. "If I ever see Torrent coming to you with anything other than a heartfelt apology, he's walking away with a couple news stripes in his pelt and a few choice words from me." He looked apologetically at Dappleshine, gently touching his tail to her side. "I understand. Thank you for telling me... I wish you hadn't experienced that."

Her gaze tracing the curves of grass underpaw, she stayed still for several heartbeats after Barleytuft started speaking. A gentle shrug of her shoulders shifted the fur at her shoulders, though as she looked up to meet his eyes gratefulness shone in their depths. "Thank you, Barleytuft.... You're... You're a really good friend. Thank you, for everything. I've been trying really hard to learn everything, and fit in... And well... This talk has made it feel a little bit easier. I doubt I'll ever get an apology, Torrentstar doesn't really apologize... But I don't need, or really want, an apology. He would never understand... Any apology from him probably wouldn't be a true one." Dappleshine hadn't really thought of it, but the spoken thoughts grazed her heart like sharp rocks at the bottom of the river. They were true, as much as it hurt to realize. 


The gentle touch of Barleytuft's tail to her side brought her eyes to his again, and she pressed her nose to his shoulder. "I wish so too. But... Well, I had to face myself. I had to admit my feelings, to him. I didn't want to just run away and disappear, only to be found safe. I didn't know Dacepaw was safe in ThunderClan until the next Gathering after she followed her father, and I was driving myself mad with worry. I couldn't do that to Torrentstar, to the few friends I had left. And I couldn't be here, with Raventail, without doing so. He's... Oh Barleytuft, he's amazing. An absolute fish-brain sometimes, with his paws ahead of his head, but.... Well..." She trailed off, a paw tracing in the grass with a mind of its own. Chuckling slightly, she shook her head before looking out over the moor. "We should probably get back soon, or they'll worry about us. A lot of danger, recently... Thanks, Barleytuft, for coming out with me. This talk has really helped. Let's have one again soon?"

A few moments of quiet stretched between them once Barleytuft's words were spoken. He couldn't fathom what she must have felt, and he could hardly blame her for feeling uncomfortable speaking of it now. At last she looked at him again, and the senior warrior dipped his head gently as thanked him for his friendship - for listening to her, and accepting her into WindClan despite the circumstances. Barleytuft looked out towards RiverClan as his friend expressed a lacking desire to hear Torrentstar apologize. Dappleshine was probably right; from Barleytuft's perspective, any cat who would say something so heartless and harmful could likely never be trusted to say a kindness so genuinely. His tail twitched as he looked back to his companion again.

Dappleshine pressed her nose to his shoulder in return to his kind gesture. He nodded again with understanding as she insisted why the truth needed to be shared, even if it cost her relationship with Torrenstar and RiverClan. Barleytuft began to chuckle, giving Dappleshine a wry look out of the corner of his eye as she began to speak of Raventail. "I'll definitely give you fish-brain - I wonder if your first encounter with him has anything to do with that." He shouldered her teasingly, and then Dappleshine was suggesting they return home. The tabby tom nodded and, at the mention of danger, swept his dark hazel gaze out over the moor. Nothing caught his vision.

Barleytuft nodded at last. "Any time, Dappleshine. I'm glad we talked too." He paused, glancing to the rabbit that Dappleshine had managed to take down, and he grinned. "You know, it's going to look particularly good for you when we come back into camp and you've caught something while I'm empty-pawed. It'll be a wonder if someone doesn't say something about it. You're going to be a fine WindClan cat - I know it." Barleytuft looked into her eyes briefly, but the meaning and honesty in their depths was clear. He smiled, and then he began to turn towards camp, feeling satisfied with the outcome of the talk.

Dappleshine purred at the memory as Barleytuft brought it up and smiled brightly. "Perhaps it did!" The tom's gaze searched the edges of the surrounding moors at her mention of the potential danger, and a shiver ran up her spine as she did as well. Still no sign of anything... But there was still the risk. As Barleytuft turned to her and mentioned his empty paws, she flicked her tail light-heartedly. "Thank you, Barleytuft.. That means a lot. I'm... Happy that everything happened the way it did. Thank you again, my friend." With a final smile and touch to the shoulder with her nose, she picked up her rabbit and the two began to make their way back to camp carefully.