Mosspaw's Medicine Cat Ceremony

As the last few rays of sunlight glimmered across the top of the oak trees in the distance, Pricklebush stared at the sky, watching the few tiny stars that began to appear. Sometimes, he almost wished that he had faith in StarClan. It would be easier to trust your life in someone else's paws and not worry about your mistakes, or theirs. But instead, he'd always been skeptical and mistrusting, even as a warrior apprentice, from the point where his own mentor Snowdrop had been part of Lichenmask's group and onto when they had forcibly recruited him for the medicine cat position. He'd never been on good terms with their ancestors, and at this point it was a foregone conclusion that he never would be. Though he could and probably would never change that, he admitted candidly to himself that ThunderClan deserved better. A better relationship with StarClan, even as misleading and incorrect as they often were; a better understanding of their prophecies and the way that revelation worked. A better medicine cat. Luckily for him, he had an apprentice who fit all the usual prerequisites to be an amazing candidate. Mosspaw. Even before she'd been his apprentice, she had worked with herbs, been kind and understanding, been on good terms with leaderships and other Clans. Everything that he wasn't. Everything he could never be. She deserved to be medicine cat.

The large, stocky tom turned around, facing inside the medicine den where he knew Mosspaw was likely sorting herbs or something similar. He hadn't been treating her as well as she deserved, due to his own stupid mistakes and everything horrible that had happened recently. It was still hard for him to be here, in ThunderClan. But she deserved his help. She deserved a mentor, one who was there for her and supported her- something he had never truly had. Not as a warrior or a medicine cat apprentice. He would be there for her. Not that she would need him, anyways, once she got her name. But he would be there for her nonetheless. After Flintfang and Dewpaw and Ridgelight, he could do that much. She deserved that much.

Pricklebush let out an inaudible sigh as he got up, stretched and heard his back crack a little from all the time he'd been hunched over, and strolled into the medicine cat den. "Mosspaw, hey. Can we talk for a little bit?"

The sun was setting, a few stray beams of light shining in from the entrance to the medicine den. Illuminated by that light sat the calico she-cat, staring down at three piles of leaves. One was withered, browning and dry. One was limp, but still a nice shade of green. The last was freshly picked, bright and vibrant. She stared down at the last pile, feeling hollow. She had shed all the tears she had to shed, and she was sure that she would never be able to cry again. She remained unmoving as a shadow crossed the entrance of the medicine den, still gazing down at that vibrant bundle of leaves. Had she once been that vibrant? She would stack the older leaves on top to be used first, and those that were too withered she would throw out... Was that what would happen to her now, too? Her tail tip flicked as she recalled her words to Leopardclaw just a pawful of sunhighs ago. How long ago that felt, and how much things had changed. She put on a brave, unflinching face for the clan, going about her duties daily as if all was well. As soon as she was alone though, the memories came to haunt her every moment. With the memories had come sobs, pleas, tears that fell unanswered to the ground. Her tears meant nothing, not the ground, not to the trees, not even to the stars that glittered so far away, a place that she was uncertain held her father's spirit. Even after it all, she had still clung to the hope, to the thought of love, and she had refused to let it slip through her paws. In doing so, she had merely cemented his end.

The shadow that had appeared spoke, and Mosspaw's head shot up, ears pricked. The setting sun made the figure a mere shadow, but the voice and the silhouette of the cat in the entrance made it clear who was requesting her. Pricklebush, who she had yet to confess what happened regarding Flintfang's death. In fact, she hadn't told anyone yet. Maybe if she kept it a secret, didn't acknowledge it, it would turn out to be one terrible nightmare. One that ended in a flash of crimson claws, her desperate plea for help echoing only against the confines of her mind rather than the silent, stoic trees. She would wake up, and Flintfang would be home, waking up from his nest next to Falconwing. Lilypaw will be leaving for her training, and would be nearing her warrior ceremony. All would be right in the world. Deep in her heart though, she knew that all was not well with the world, and that her life as she had known it had once again been turned upside down. The difference was that, for the first time in her life, she wasn't sure how to flip it upright again.

Absently, the she-cat nodded, pushing aside the good leaves with a white paw before stacking the withered leaves on top of the older ones. When she went to pick up the full bundle she stopped, staring at it for a moment before removing the old ones off and stacking it on top of the fresh ones, and placing it in the herb stores neatly. Once they were in their place, she nosed the withered ones off to the side and approached Pricklebush, desperately trying to put a spark back into her eyes. She had missed him terribly. Her voice cracked as she touched her nose to his shoulder, from a lack of use. "Su-Sure thing, Pricklebush. What is it?"

Seeing the badly disguised depression that was weighing over his apprentice made Pricklebush wince. She'd been having a very rough time, he knew.... Mosspaw had not only helped to find the fruits of Ridgelight's folly, she'd also been mostly alone in ThunderClan while he trained Mistlepaw, and recently- he knew- she'd lost Flintfang. That piece of scum wasn't worthy of her love, but he had been her father... and so of course, the loss would hurt. Her normally bright green eyes were so dull and unhappy that it almost made him want to cry. Maybe, hopefully, he could find some way to cheer her up. The large tom touched his nose gently to her forehead, trying to impart some comfort through the small contact. "You've been doing very well, Mosspaw," he began, trying to find some gentle way to lead into the topic. "I know that I haven't been around all that often, and I apologize for that. But I know that you've been doing well even on your own, with Moonstone journeys and healing and the herbs are even more organized than they've ever been. I've been thinking, and, well..." He took a deep breath. "I think you're ready to become a full medicine cat, Mosspaw. To get your name. I don't see any point postponing it longer- and you deserve recognition for your accomplishments. Are you ready?" He remembered when Leopardstar had come to tell him the same, how he'd barely accepted the praise and just acknowledged it in a long line of unhappinesses that had come to him at the same time in his life. Hopefully, Mosspaw wouldn't turn out like him. She couldn't. His sage-green eyes were searching, looking for some spark of the same she-cat he knew.

A rough and tumble purr, rattling quietly deep in her chest emerged as her mentor nosed her forehead. She tried to find happiness in the little things these days, even if it was a forced happiness, just to feel anything other than loneliness. As he started to speak, she sat down and looked up at him, her eyes focusing somewhat onto the familiar face. She shook her head slightly at his apology, her tail wrapping around her paws. She understood his desire to get away, to escape. Especially with his sister in RiverClan, and Mistlepaw still training, he needed to be. She knew that, and held no ill will towards her mentor for it. It hadn't been easy, though, taking on so much responsibility while her family and world had slowly fallen apart around her, culminating in her father's death.

His last words shocked her though, and her eyes widened to reflect that surprise. A small flicker of something reared behind her eyes, a tiny spark of hope returning. He had noticed, paid enough attention to see her struggles, and her successes as well as her failures. Pricklebush would always be there, even if he was gone so often. He wouldn't truly leave... Would he? A small, hesitant smile, only slightly forced, formed on her face as she nodded. "I know there's still a lot to learn, but I promise I'll keep working hard. If you believe I'm ready, then I'm ready, Pricklebush." She lowered her head to her mentor, trying to force a small portion of the cat she had used to be out, but found that she couldn't. Hoping her mentor wouldn't be too disappointed, she focused instead on the tiny spark of hope that had returned, attempting to nurture it into something stronger. If she worked hard, maybe she could learn how to heal a cat that had been impaled the way Flintfang had been, there had to be a way.

A little relieved by her response, and just glad that she was responsive at all, Pricklebush smiled slightly and touched his nose to Mosspaw's forehead again. Hopefully, she could move past this grief somehow and go back to being the amazing cat she had always been. He had never let the deaths of his loved ones stop him, just hidden the pain and moved forwards. But perhaps grieving was the natural way to go through this process. He was not at all qualified to try and help her get over her pain... all he could do was be there for her. And that, he would do. He swallowed one of the prepared herb bundles, acclimated to the taste that made most cats recoil, and pushed another bundle towards his apprentice with his paw. Then, once they were ready, he motioned for her to lead the way to Highstones. It was time for him to stop leading, and her to begin stepping into a larger role. ThunderClan would be all the better for it.

--

After a somewhat quiet journey, they had finally arrived. The gaping mouth of Highstones loomed before them, an open maw of darkness that had once seemed intimidating to him. Hard to believe he'd once been small- well, smaller than he was now. He was almost as tall as the sharp stalactites hanging from the top of the cave. Mosspaw, in comparison, was a tiny and delicate she-cat, as beautiful outside as on the inside. Hopefully the grief she'd gone through wouldn't fracture her large heart. Pricklebush gestured again for her to lead, figuring that she could probably make it to the Moonstone by now- and if she couldn't, he'd failed in his job.

Pressing her forehead against his nose slightly, wen he pulled away she noticed the two herb bundles, one that Pricklebush quickly ate before pushing the other towards her. Instinctively she bent her head, licking up the leaves, they were still bitter but the only reaction was the tip of her tail twitching as she swallowed the last of the leaves and looked up at Pricklebush expectingly. Blinking in surprise as her mentor motioned for her to take the lead, she felt a bit of nervousness worm it's way into her belly. She had made this journey several times now, but this time was different. So much had changed, even from the last medicine cat meeting... Swallowing hard, she nodded and left the way out of the ThunderClan camp, setting her paws on the trail she always took for Moonstone journeys without daring to look back. She might see her past if she did, and she wasn't quite ready for that yet.

~~~

The journey was quiet, Mosspaw leading the way as Pricklebush silently followed. She wasn't sure if she should break the silence, but it was kind of peaceful, and the quiet company was soothing. Even the Thunderpath had been quiet, with very few monsters patrolling. It felt like no time had passed before the mentor and apprentice stood before Mothermouth, gaping before them as it beckoned to the Moonstone that lay deep within. Pricklebush gestured for her to take the lead, and with another deep breath she padded into the dark tunnel, her paws slipping naturally into the path to the Moonstone. A path that had been walked for generations, and would for generations to come. Tonight, however, this was her path to walk rather than simply guide their young cats to their ancestors. Tonight was a trip to acknowledge her, and that worm of anxiety wriggled once more. Before long, they were standing before the Moonstone, lit brightly already and bathing the furthest corners of the cavern in a brilliant white and blue light. Pricklebush looked almost silver in the light, and she gave him a small smile as she waited for what was to come next.

The walk through the caverns was as dark and bleak as always... Sometimes Pricklebush wondered why he hadn't run off. Refused the destiny StarClan had forced upon him. It was still always an option- leave and never come back. Every time he came here, saw the Moonstone, felt the pressure and power that his ancestors bore down on him, he seriously considered it. But then he remembered why he was here. Seeing Mosspaw smile reminded him of why he was here. To help his Clan, to help the innocent and beautiful cats in the world who would be crushed if left only to StarClan and the cruel world they lived in. To heal physical wounds... and maybe some emotional ones, as well. The ThunderClan medicine cat returned his apprentice's smile, feeling something warm glowing in his chest as he looked at her. A bright stirring that admired the amazing she at sitting before him, a hundred times better than he was or ever would be. What did they csll that feeling?

Pride.

He tried his best to remember the words, through the glowing haze that seemed to emanate from not only the Moonstone, but his full to bursting heart. "I, Pricklebush, medicine cat of ThunderClan, call upon my... ancestors to look down on this apprentice." StarClan may have hated him, but they would love her. She was everything a medicine cat was supposed to be and more. "She has trained hard to understand the ways of a medicine cat, and with your... our help, she will serve her Clan for many moons." Not willing to rely entirely on StarClan for the assistance, he tweaked the words slightly, feeling not even a twinge of uncertainty. He would always be there for her. He had to be. "Mosspaw.... His sage-green eyes glowed in the dark, finding hers, reaching into their depths with a love he could not otherwise convey. She had to know how much he loved her. Not like Dewpaw's love, not like Flintfang's love.... Like Blizzardshine. Unconditional and pure and unfathomably, uncontainably beautiful. The only beautiful thing he would ever have. "Mosspaw. Do you promise to uphold the ways of a medicine cat, to stand apart from rivalry between Clan and Clan, and to protect all cats equally... even at the cost of your life?" StarClan, let her have a life. Give her a good life. Help me give her a good life.

A shiver ran down her back as Pricklebush spoke, the quiet and still cavern around then seeming to fill with stars as the Moonstone's light filtered into the cave. Pricklebush's eyes met hers, and she gazed back, trying to figure out the emotion they held. It wasn't bad, at least, it didn't seem like anything that could be bad, it seemed like something good, pure and wonderful. The time had come. Taking a deep breath, she nodded and breathed, ""I do."

He had hoped for somewhat more than a nod, but he supposed that expecting her emotions to overflow in her already overwrought state was unreasonable. Pricklebush returned the nod, smiling slightly, satisfied that at least the she-cat he knew and had trained was still there, deep down. "Then by my power, and the power of StarClan, I give you your true name as a medicine cat.  Mosspaw, from this moment you will be known as Mossbloom." That was strange- he had been planning to name her something else, but that one just slipped out. It seemed right. "StarClan and I honor your kindness, responsibility and patience, and I welcome you as a full medicine cat of ThunderClan."  He leaned forwards and touched his nose to the top of her head, a more formal touch that ended the ceremony, and then touched their noses together. "I'm so proud of you, Mossbloom," he whispered, pride and love warming his heart and his voice for a moment.

Mossbloom. The name rang through the silent cavern, seeming to echo in whispers off of the shining Moonstone. As Pricklebush touched his nose to the top of her head she licked his shoulder, following the usual formalities as a warrior would at their ceremony. Pricklebush then pulled back and touched his nose to hers, and their eyes met. His was full of pride and love, and tenderness she rarely saw around their clanmates, and the light that had sparked behind her own gaze seemed to come back to life a little more. Pricklebush was still there, as was Oakstar, Houndpaw, Batbite, Emberheart.... Finchstar, Raventail, Leaftwirl... Amberdawn. They were all still walking among the living, and in her sorrow and defeat she had turned her back on all of them, shutting them out. Oh stars, Amberdawn had been there.... How was she doing after it all?... "Thank you, Pricklebush... For everything. I'm sorry.... That I haven't really been around... I'll do better, I promise... It's just hard right now. I'll work harder, and do better though... Thank you."

She turned, facing the Moonstone and settled herself down, staring at it's soft light for a moment before taking a deep breath and pressing her nose to it. The wash of sleep was almost instantaneous, pulling her into the starry landscape of StarClan once more. A lone figure waited for her, familiar and welcoming in the clearing surrounded by trees. Mossbloom let out a sigh of relief, happy that this dream didn't match the last meeting's of darkness and dread. She padded forward as the figure stood, a smile gracing the StarClan cat's expression. Mossbloom broke the silence first, lowering her head respectfully. "Sageleaf, hello again. It's good to see you." She sat as the starry she-cat did, trying to prepare herself for what was to come without really knowing what was coming. Sageleaf's eyes glowed warmly, even as they seemed to be looking through her. "You have done well, Mossbloom, and come far from the young apprentice you used to be. You have held the wisdom passed to you close, even if you might have lost your way a couple of times. As the representative of StarClan, I acknowledge your dedication to the path of a medicine cat and welcome you as a true medicine cat of the forest, as though you reside in ThunderClan your duty transcends that to encompass the clans, and those within, as a whole. There may come a time very soon where your duty will war with the code, and there may be some that don't understand. Listen to your heart and follow your gut instinct, no cat should ever be shunned or abandoned by a medicine cat regardless of their choices. Do you understand?" Mossbloom nodded, her voice confident and strong. "I do." Sageleaf smiled once more, placing her nose on the new medicine cat's head as many scores of starry cats emerged from the woodline, surrounding the two. "Welcome, Mossbloom, may your paws never stray from the path you have taken. Your resolve and ability to adapt is honored, and StarClan thanks you. Now go, and return to the forest. We will light your path." Sageleaf's voice seemed to echo with the voices of the other StarClan cats and she stepped back, mingling with them as they chanted Mossbloom's name before fading away. Just as Mossbloom thought she would wake up, a strange mist rolled in from the side of the forest, a hauntingly familiar figure on the other side.

Mossbloom jerked upright, waking suddenly. Was that? It had to have been, she knew that figure like the back of her paw... She looked to Pricklebush and nodded, the tears that had sprung up in shock fading away with a silent acceptance of what the stars had held in store. As the two started their journey home, her paws felt marginally lighter, a sliver of hope having resurfaced from within her. First she had to apologize to Amberdawn... And the medicine cat meeting would be a great opportunity to do so.