Second Home? [Closed]

Sparkfrost's breathing was shallow and pain radiated from the spot where the Skyclan cat had broken his ribs. He lay sprawled out in the medicine cat's den, having returned to camp with the wounds he bore from his encounter with the enemy patrol. Amberdawn and Sagepaw had been nowhere to be found and the cats he had encountered refused to help. Their words spoke only of rules and borders. The warrior had vague ideas of how the concepts worked. It was perhaps his desire for the separation to disappear that made him come across as ignorant. Times where he had once been raised in loyalty to his clan were no more. The cats that surrounded him he knew as well as those he had met during the flood. Why did they need to be enemies and fight over land and territory? What was gained by doing so? In a previous life he had questioned matters of good and evil, now he found himself pondering the lives of the clans.

A discontented sigh finally left his maw as he flopped over onto his side, and it ended with a slightly pained hiss as his ribs shifted. He found himself looking up at Dappleshine, a Riverclan warrior who he had seen several times. Despite being a decent size, Sparkfrost considered with a half-grin that he often found himself looking up at cats these days. Ignoring his obvious injured state, the tom glanced up at her, maintaining a cheerful expression as he meowed, "How's it going Dapple? Welcome to my den. I might not have many memories but I have to say at this point, I'm pretty sure I've spent most of my life here."

For the second time in a moon, Dappleshine heard news that another one of her clanmates were in the medicine den. This time though, it was Sparkfrost, and from the sound of things he had crossed the border attempting to see his friends in SkyClan. She thought to all of the times she had met Raventail at the Gorge, and silently thanked the stars that so far their meetings had been trouble free, with only one cat having them and being understanding and encouraging their friendship. She padded over to the fresh-kill pile, selecting a bird this time. The bird held in her mouth, she headed towards the medicine cat den, perhaps she'll have caught him at a good time.

As she walked in, Sparkfrost shifted and let out a pained hiss, and she winced. The poor tom had gotten injuries to his ribs, or so she had heard, and her side ached at the thought of it. The smile that he always held never left his face though, despite the pain, and she smiled around the bird to him. Setting the prey down in front of him as she settled herself nearby, she let out a light chuckle. "Mistlepaw might argue with you there. I heard what happened, I'm so sorry you got hurt and they weren't understanding. I understand how you feel... But you need to be more careful. Not all cats are kind and understanding, Sparkfrost." She gazed at him, blue eyes shining with concern and worry. "I'm glad you're okay, fishbrain."

It wasn't until the scent of bird filled his scent glands that the tom realized how ravenous he was. Appropriately enough, his stomach growled rather loudly. Grinning sheepishly now, Sparkfrost made no more to flip back upright and opted to stay in his current position as he listened to her speak. Once she placed the bird on the ground, he rather unceremoniously flipped over with a soft hiss before picking the feathers off the creature. As he did, down and larger feathers alike collected in a small pile between the pair. Seeing the opportunity, not thinking through it much and simply acting as he often did, the warrior breathed softly onto the pile as he dipped his head forward, scattering the plucked feathers all over the she-cat. His dull gaze was bright with the joy of companionship. Dappleshine seemed to be one of the more laid back of his clanmates. Even if her true allegiance with with Riverclan, at least she didn't seem to hate other clans. And he enjoyed her presence.

"I simply don't see the point. I wasn't there to steal prey or any land, I just wanted to talk to them. Why does it have to be so different? Things were so much simpler when we weren't in the forest." He wasn't one to complain, but a soft sigh of discontent left his maw before he dipped his head to sink his teeth into the meal. As she had called him a fishbrain, his whiskers twiched in a mild amusement. Maybe he was. But it didn't quite make sense why cats from different clans had to hate each other. Surely she saw it too. Cocking his head slightly, the tom meowed through a mouthful of prey, "I'm not as serious as that weird gathering cat, and I don't know much about Starclan or the code, but there's nothing wrong with having friends, right?"

"Careful!" She whispered as the tom flipped himself over with a hiss, shaking her head at his carelessness. "Stars, Sparkfrost, you're never going to heal up if you keep flopping around like a fish!" She teased him lightly, a base of concern under her tone. She had grown fond of the tom, his light-hearted nature and ready smile made her feel a little bit lighter, and brightened her days when she was feeling down. He had taken over Magpiepaw's training, so she had heard, and she shifted slightly at the thought. Maybe the two of them had spoken, and he could provide some insight? No, she thought, she was here to visit with Sparkfrost, they could talk another day about the tom that she had held so dear before he turned his back on her.

As she was lost in thought, her eyes focused on the tom in front of her as he got a funny expression on his face, bordering mischievous. Before she could say anything, he lowered his head and let out a breath, scattering the feathers he had piled all over the den and in turn, her. She paused, wide-eyed in surprise, as a feather landed delicately on her nose before bursting into laughter. "Well, Sparkfrost, I suppose I need a new name as I appear to be part bird!" Her eyes softened as they met his, recognizing the joy in their depths. She found herself happy to be sharing this moment with him, even if it wouldn't last forever, she knew he would still be a friend to rely on when they did have another moment to spend together. This was the most fun she'd had in a while, since the last time she had seen Raventail probably. Her fur flashed with sudden heat as she thought of him briefly before pushing it away, maybe she could use her experiences there to help Sparkfrost.

"I know you weren't. And I'm sure that, deep down, those cats that hurt you knew that. I'm so sorry Sparkfrost... I don't remember much of the lake, but I don't think every cat would have been truly happy... Many of them had friends and family in other places that would have stayed lost had we not returned, but I don't know why things have to be so... disjointed either. The she-cat who stepped in to raise my siblings and me is across the forest in the marshes, and I haven't seen her at all since I left for the mountain patrol with Wasppaw... I also made friends in WindClan, and I've seen them a pawful of times at Gatherings, but it's just not the same." She paused, looking down at her paws and prodding a feather that had landed between them with a white paw. "There's absolutely nothing wrong with having friends in other clans, my friends in WindClan have been more steadfast than some of my friends here in RiverClan." She winced slightly as she said that, the hurt from Magpiepaw's refusal to acknowledge her was still fresh.

"I don't have an easy answer, Sparkfrost, even though I wish I did... Maybe you can find them at the next Gathering, and plan a meet-up at the border to prevent any kind of altercation? Or you can wait at the border and see if you happen to run into them, or another kinder cat who will fetch them for you?" Her mind flit to Barleytuft, and the way they had encouraged her friendship with Raventail and gone to fetch him so she could stay safe. Bowing her head, she grabbed the feather at her paws lightly with her teeth, and wiggled to lay side by side to the tom. Placing the feather delicately on his head as she ate, she brushed his shoulder with hers as she continued. "A wise cat who I respect very much once assured me that the warrior code tells us that we can have friends in other clans. We just have to respect the borders and put our Clan's needs first, and we're alright. If you want, I can help you find your friends so you guys can talk, I want you to be able to find them again. If you'll have my help, that is." She turned to gaze at him hopefully, maybe, just maybe, she could shine a little spark back into the warriors life just as he had done so for hers.

Sparkfrost laughed at her response to the shower of feathers. He was glad that she wasn't an easily agitated cat who struggled to put up with his antics and inability to related to the clan he'd forgotten. Some cats were not as forgiving. It appeared the she-cat, whom he knew really only from passing, had a lot of wisdom to offer. He listened for a while, continuing to eat his meal, and considered her words. Something particular she said stuck out to him: 'There's absolutely nothing wrong with having friends in other clans, my friends in WindClan have been more steadfast than some of my friends here in RiverClan.' Once again he was stricken with the frustration of separation between the clans. As he looked at her, the tom's eyes were full of pity and understanding. Hardly any cat in Riverclan had treated him poorly, but it wasn't specifically how they treated him that drew his interest to other places. It seemed that his heart was rather untameable, made worse yet by the loss of his memory.

As Dappleshine talked of the code and allegiances to the clan. So that was what set them apart. She had something holding her here, even if she longed otherwise. It seemed freeing, almost, to recognize that the thing she held inside of her was not something that would prevent him from... from what? Was he going to leave? The thought caused the calico tom to stop for a second. He'd never specifically considered it before. Riverclan was supposed to be his home, that was what they'd said. But, as it crossed his mind, as soft smile came over his maw. Sparkfrost was free to leave. Of course he would want to come back and visit the cats here. Dappleshine being one of them. Speaking with her had brought a certain clarity that his muddled mind seemed unable to conjure up of its own accord. It might not have been the exact home and comfort that the warrior had wanted to instill, but she did something that no other cat had managed to do for him recently. Give Sparkfrost direction. Where was that direction? He had no clue. But it was something.

Although she had already chastised him for flopping about, but he rolled to press his flank up against hers and bury his maw into her fur before glancing up at the she-cat. He had always loved the presence of another cat and had no hesitation to sharing their warmth. Once he had settled in, wincing once more at the pain, he finally spoke, "The more I think about it, Dappleshine, the less sure I am that I could make this clan home. There are so many things I don't know, and with my memory gone, I feel like life is just beginning for me. Riverclan has always been here, and even if you all think it, I wasn't here for that. The Sparkfrost everyone knows, that isn't me. Maybe it's time for me to find my own course without codes or borders. Nothing is tying me to the code beyond a promise that another cat made for me, in another life. You don't think I'm crazy? Do you? I feel like I am sometimes. But this is the most normal I felt in ages. And its because of you, Dappleshine. I love all the cats here but I love more too, you know? There's so many things I have to see and discover. Friends from all places. And... I don't think the warrior code will let me do that." He chattered on, allowing the words to flow from him as easily as they would with a life long friend, if he had any. As soon as he finished speaking, Sparkfrost lapped at her chest lightly as a sort of thank you, a recognition of the unusual bond they had forged in such a short time.

Blinking in surprise for a moment as the tom moved again, wincing in pain once more, to bury is face in her long fur. She stared down at him for a moment before she relaxed again, placing her chin on his head comfortingly as she listened to him speak. Sadness, understanding, and a longing for the same freedom that Sparkfrost carried tugged at her mind as he spoke, confessing all of his beliefs and thoughts. A small purr rumbled as the tom lapped at her chest as she hesitated, choosing her words with care. "Well, I'm sure all of us are a little crazy, in our own ways. I don't think you're wrong though. My wish for you, and for all of my friends, is that you would be happy... Even if that takes you somewhere away from here. The only Sparkfrost I've ever known has been the one I have beside me right now, and I wouldn't change it for anything. I'll miss you if you go, but I'll be glad that you're happy. Just try to come visit sometimes, okay?" She licked his ear, nuzzling his head lightly before continuing. "The code is there to guide our paws, and lead our way. It has it's.... holes, and shortcomings, but most things do. If you feel that this path isn't the one for you, you should take the path that is, even if it leads you away. All of the cats here who truly care about your well-being would be supportive, maybe not at first, but with time."