Oh, How I've Missed You [Closed]

Despite the tendrils of pain shooting up and down the muscles in her legs and back, Dustcloud lifted her body from the ground with a squeaky, agony-filled grunt. Tears began to prick at the back of her eyes as she took a few steps forward, ignoring the screaming protests coming from her paws as they hit the ground, one after the other. She stopped just short of the warriors den, peering inside at the cats within. To her it seemed as if her ancestors had it out for her- tragedy after tragedy testing her beliefs time and time again. But, standing behind everything she stood for, she kept true to her faith. Her gaze lifted slightly to the split in the canopy of trees overhead, revealing the darkening sky. The faintest flickering of a few stars could be seen, just barely peeking out from behind the branches. For the first time since arriving home, Dustcloud bowed her head and thanked StarClan. She thanked them for bringing herself and her Clanmates back to camp safely. She thanked them for leading her Clanmates on throughout their arduous journey. Most of all, she thanked them for protecting her loving mate on his way home.

Ducking through the entrance to the den, Dustcloud's eyes wandered across the den, searching for the familiar pelt of her lover. A feeling if calmness coursed through her veins when her eyes finally landed on Marshstorm, a slight grin forming on her muzzle. She padded over to him, rubbing her cheek affectionately on his shoulder when she met his side. "I w-was thinking that m-maybe we could ch-check on our little c-clearing… see how it did w-with all of the d-d-damage, if you've got a chance?" She looked up to meet his warm gaze, eyes portraying the feelings of longing for the long talks she and her mate used to have.

The warriors den was filled with the soft sounds of cats in deep slumber. Pelts rising and falling in a familiar rythm as the moon shone down kindly on the half formed structure. A large dark tabby was in the middle of the slumbering warriors, his pelt a bit patchy from the bramble thorns he had been weaving the past couple days. A bleary eye opened at the nudge to his shoulder, but the sight of those familiar blue eyes had him awakening immediately. A rumbling purr in his chest as he leaned forward to nuzzle Dustcloud affectionately.

"Of course, let us go pay our respects." He answered softly. His pace was slow and delicate to avoid disturbing the others, but he turned back to check on her often. The silver pelt of his mate brought forth memories of distress and discomfort. For a moon, he had worried that she had been lost to him forever. The pain of that ache still lingered as he thought about it. His heart breaking at the slightest thought that she wouldn't be there.

She was here though. He recalled the moment he saw her as the clans reunited. Her beautiful tabby pelt bright in sunlight, marred by the recent injuries he learned were sustained from a dog, but those imperfections didn't matter. His heart leapt in joy to see her face again. Those bright eyes that reminded him of the sky on a warm green leaf day. His grief abating as he rushed to help her move on with the clan towards home, thanking StarClan with every step. Every breath, for this miracle. His warm amber eyes looked to hers for a moment as she left the warriors den, and he rubbed his head against hers gently as he stepped beside her. Both to help, and partly just to relish in the joy of her company once more.

She padded out of the den, keeping close to Marshstorm as her pawsteps led her in the familiar direction that they once traveled together so often. The silence that hung between the two of them as they walked through the territory was somehow comforting, as if her mate’s presence alone was enough to rid her of any worries or fears. As she walked, the wounds that Pricklebush had worked so hard to patch up stretched, causing her to grimace at the slight pain of the scars pulling on her skin. While pain was nothing new to the Senior Warrior, it seemed as if every new scar she earned led her closer to a time when she might no longer be able to bear them. She shook her head slightly, dismissing the thoughts of her growing age and weariness. When they had finally reached the top of the ravine, Dustcloud ducked through the ferns and into the small clearing that she and Marshstorm had come to love and cherish.

The damages were far from what she had actually expected, and she gazed around with wide eyes at the minimal amount of work that the pair would have to do to bring it back to it’s full glory. There were a few large branches scattered about, and dead twigs and leaves littered the forest floor. She spotted a fallen tree to her left, but despite the flood waters, the clearing seemed relatively untouched when compared to the rest of the territory. She looked back to Marshstorm with a grin, pressing her nose to his and letting her eyes close. ”It could’ve b-been so m-much worse… Thank St-StarClan…” She opened her eyes and looked at her mate, thanking her ancestors for his love.

As they reached the crest of the small hill that was at the front of their clearing, his eyes looked over the trees. Bark seemed to have been wrenched off. Old mosses and logs that used to mark the path were gone, shuffled away into the distance somewhere. It made travelling easier, but he missed the familiarity of them. As his gaze finally looked at the clearing however... relief flooded him. It was so much the same as before they left.

Wind gently nudged the tops of long grasses. Some flowers were blooming despite what the flood had done. Areas once empty were a bit covered with debris. A stray rock was in the center of the clearing, A couple young trees that must have fallen during the flood had managed to fall away from the clearing itself.
"Thank Starclan the water was not going the other way." He added, gesturing towards the saplings. While not terribly large, they would have been very awkward to move without sufficient help.

His dark brown pelt rubbed against her silver and black one as he passed to walk into the clearing slowly. His jaws parted to pick up any scents as he walked a careful check around the perimeter. Thankfully, no predators seemed to have passed through or made their homes in the clearing. That, would have been bad news. He lifted his head, the shining stars above them were so peaceful. The modest work they had to do wasn't a bad price to pay. Moving sticks and twigs off grass and flowers, the occaisional rock, though he was tempted to leave the one larger one.
"Dustcloud." He meowed thoughtfully. "Perhaps we should leave this one? It would make a good marker for any cat that comes here."

Dustcloud turned to face Marshstorm as he spoke to her about a large rock that had somehow gotten into the center of the clearing, and she nodded her head at his suggestion. "Yes, th-that's a w-wonderful idea." Crossing to the other side of the clearing, the senior warrior began picking up the smaller twigs that littered the ground, moving them along to the circle of trees that surrounded the glade.

Her eyes drifted to a fairly large branch a few foxlengths away from her, and she contemplated whether or not she should try to move it on her own… With a sudden surge of determination, she grasped the branch between her teeth, dragging it to the edge of the ferns with only a bit of a struggle. She'd have to take a while to get bacm into the swing of things… Over the time that she'd spent in the medicine cat den, she seemed to have lost her touch. Despite this, however, she had somehow managed to get the branch out of the middle of the glade with no help. Perhaps due to her getting on in age, though, it had left her slightly winded. She padded back to the side of the rock, meeting her mate where she had seen him last. She leaned on his shoulder, trying to get her breathing back to normal. "I th-think I'm getting t-too old for that." She mentioned with a bit of a bitter chuckle.

(RIP your color code XD)


He smiled at Dustcloud as she resumed going about and picking up light debris. Pausing when he noticed her shifting a particularly large branch. The offer to help was on his tongue, but the set of her eyes and body held him back. Instead, he watched her with admiration in his gaze as she managed slowly to wrestle the large tree limb out of the clearing and to the side. He leaned into her with a comforting purr at her words.

"Too old?" He meowed, tilting his head to look at Dustcloud eye to eye with a gentle smile. Fondness deep within his gaze as warmth flooded his limbs. In the moonlight, it was as though there were no scars on Dustcloud at all. His eyes may have noticed them, but he had no doubts. "You are still the most beautiful she-cat I've ever known." His words were soft. Admiration clear as he nudged his head under hers softly in affection. "We still have plenty of life in us yet." His white tipped tail flicked towards the stars as he glanced at them. They shone as beautiful as ever.

Dustcloud's heart fluttered slightly at Marshstorm's words of admiration, butterflies dancing around her stomach as she gazed into his eyes. She was reminded, however, of a place her mind had wandered far too often as of late at his next words. She looked down at her paws again, shame filling her heart as she poured out her thoughts into the quiet night air. "P-Perhaps… But I think that's wh-what I'm m-m-most afraid of, dear." She pawed gently at the ground, feeling the tightness of the wounds on her front legs that hadn't yet healed. "I'm n-not entirely s-sure how l-long I can c-c-carry on, Marshstorm… I've lost tr-track of how many m-moons old I am, for StarClan's sake." She sighed softly, looking up and searching her mate's gaze for a reaction. "I'm ol-older than a-any of our elders, and n-now that B-B-Blizzardshine is gone… I may even be the oldest cat in the forest." She said desperately. She wasn't worried about her outer appearance, or what others thought of her… That was not at all what she was concerned about. "I'm t-tired, Marshstorm… It's like a-after every d-disaster there comes a-another, worse a-and more s-straining than the one b-before… And you've g-got a long road ahead of y-you, being Deputy and in g-good time, Leader, I c-can't just simply r-retire and leave you to d-do it all o-on your own…" Her voice was trembling far worse than usual, the breaks in her words caused not only by the scarring caused by Ivystars, but by the great lump in her throat.

She shifted her gaze back down to the dirt in front of her, the tip of her tail flickering and scattering a bit of dust. "And it's n-not that I'm w-worried about not r-retiring, I'm m-more worried a-about what m-might happen to y-you and to our k-kits if one d-day I… I…" Despite the fact that she was willing herself to finish, she couldn't get the rest of her sentence out. She was at peace with the idea of death itself… But not of what it would do to those she left behind. The lump blocking her from speaking again refused to go back down, no matter how hard she tried to push it down and continue. Even though she had tried so hard to so hard to stop it, a small, quiet sob heaved out of her chest.

He watched with a sinking heart as Dustcloud looked away. His ears flattened in dismay at her voice, tired and scratched. The reminder that Blizzardshine was gone, it stung deeply. It hurt worse however, seeing his mate so... dejected. As if being exhausted was an inexcusable crime... and in a sense it was. Marshstorm felt the sharp stab of pain in his chest as when he first thought he had lost her. When he thought the flood waters had truly destroyed their chances of seeing eachother once more.

The thought of not being able to carry on... it had weighed heavily on his mind. He bit back the urge to speak those words, instead he wrapped his tail around her comfortingly. He gave her cheek a gentle lick, tasting the tears that he wanted to shed himself. Yet in all of this, he couldn't help but feel a sense of solace. He wasn't alone in his thoughts, the heavy concerns over the fate of the clan if he died tomorrow.

"Dustcloud." He murmured gently, then paused. He nuzzled her cheek briefly, before he stood and padded away. Leaving the clearing, he looked closely at the ground, finding what he was looking for only a couple seconds later before he returned. A daisy was held gently in his jaws as he laid it down in front of Dustcloud. A mournful expression in his amber eyes. "...I will never be alone." He said slowly, his gaze lifting towards the stars that shone above them. "StarClan watches over both of us... we fight for it, we live by it... and... all cats eventually die and travel to it." He gaze lowered back to Dustcloud. Heartbreak clear, but he surged on. His voice calm and patient as he nudged the daisy. "Look at this daisy. I picked it from the ground, just outside of this clearing. The stem has been cut, and it will eventually wilt away and die." He looked down towards it, then clawed a shallow indent into the earth with a heavy paw before pushing it in and brushing dirt back over it. "Despite that, within it, are seeds. Someday, a new daisy will rise from this spot."

He looked back up at Dustcloud. Pain was still in his amber gaze, but there was something that burned behind it. His heart still ached to think about the loss, but he had accepted it once, and though it would nearly kill him... if he had to, he would do it again.
"Were I to join StarClan tomorrow, I would watch over you as best I can. If you joined StarClan..." His face visibly crumbled at the thought. "I would miss you, deeply Dustcloud. I would feel as cut as this daisy, but hope still remains. Strength, determination... those are seeds inside of us that grow. Things that make us warriors. I would grieve, but the clan needs us. No matter which of us survives longer, it needs us for as long as we can be here, and when it's time to let go... the roots will remain. Untouched, and constant."

Dustcloud found herself at home in the sound of Marshstorm’s low voice, an instant comfort to her. It was as if his voice was the presence of warmth pushing away the tendrils of cold, icy leaf-bare air and welcoming new-leaf once more. She watched him with tears gathered in her eyes as he retrieved a daisy and placed it in front of her. She nodded her head as he spoke, a tear escaping occasionally onto her cheek as she noted each word that fell from his lips. Gazing deeply into his amber eyes, she tried her best to ignore the pain in her chest as she accepted what would eventually come to both of them. There had been days when she wished thst they would come sooner, so that she could meet her ancestors and greet the Stars, and others where she willed the idea away so quickly that it had hardly existed in the first place. She had never took a moment to think that when her time came... It would not be her choice, but that of her ancestors. She wouldn’t be able to call off death, it would come when the time was right.

”I... I s-see.” She murmured, the lump in her throat slowly fading away as she regained her composure. She straightened her shoulders, curling her tail around her side and resting it over her own paws. She nodded her head once again, resting it then on Marshstorm’s side as she looked up at the stars, the small twinkling lights reflecting onto her icy blue eyes.