Back at the Starting Line (Closed)

C'mon Magpiepaw, you can do this!  It's now or never, there's nothing to be scared of...nothing...  Standing rigid in the entrance of the makeshift apprentice den, the patched tom's small ears were pressed flat against his head, and his paws shook anxiously.  Wide golden eyes scanned the camp, quickly catching sight of his target, yet his feet refused to move.  There was an important question he needed to ask...but admitting such a thing was a bit embarrassing, especially to this cat, who he respected above most others.  Still, he needed to do this, for his own sake.  He didn't think he could stand another day of watching his denmates and siblings train and hunt and swim from the sidelines...it was tearing him up from the inside out. These emotions were what finally pushed him forward, emerging from the shadows into the bright sunny camp, and approaching the tom who laid nearby.  Gulping down the last of his debilitating fear, Magpiepaw took a deep breath and spoke, though his voice came out much weaker than he had planned.

"J-Jaystar, sir...I-I need to a-ask you s-something."

The moved his head slightly when he heard that trembling voice. Jaystar remained laid down and finally fixed his eyes on the tuxed tom by his side. He noticed that shy, nervous look as he was looking through his own, past reflection. The leader merely smiled a bit and purred calmly. "Sure, what is it, Magpiepaw?" Son of Finchstream... the cat who nursed his forbidden kits with love and dedication. He couldn't save her from the flood but the least he could do was to protect the legacy she had left behind. Maybe one day, Magpiepaw would be able to meet her in his Moonstone Journey.

Relieved as he was that Jaystar didn't immediately turn him away as a nuisance taking up his precious time, Magpiepaw's forced smile didn't quite hide the anxiety hidden behind his quiet face.  Sitting down, his forepaws shuffled as the tom's gaze fell to the ground, voice barely at an audible level.  "U-Umm...w-well, I was w-wondering...even since the cats in the m-mountains returned, there's b-been no sign of my m-mentor...Adderfeather."  His body falling still, after a long moment he managed to meet his leader's gaze, a plea in his golden eyes.  "I know i-it's possible that she's s-still out there somewhere...b-but, I need to learn h-how to be a warrior.  I feel useless Jaystar, I n-never learned to hunt or f-fight before the flood struck...and I d-don't think I can stand f-feeling like a burden any l-longer.  I w-want to become a warrior...one R-RiverClan can be proud of."

One Mama, Cloudstone and my sisters can be proud of...

The tom heard the young cat's concerns and he could easily empathize with him. Magpiepaw remembered him so much of his former, younger self. Alone in this world to be trained on his own... that story was way too familiar. But that didn't have to be the tuxedo apprentice's fate. Jaystar nodded at Magpiepaw and smiled a bit. "Well, you're in a good start. Those are the words and motives of a true young warrior. However... I'm afraid you are right... We can't keep your training waiting while Adderfeather is still missing so I'll give you a new mentor." Jaystar stood up and stretched his long legs before starting looking for a warrior who would be willing to take an apprentice. It had to be someone young, patient and with no current apprentice to train... his eyes were fixed for a second in Berrycloud but he was aware that the tom wasn't exactly in a good emotional state to take care of another cat. That was when another name came to his mind... It was risky since he hadn't been completely okay since the day of the accident yet the young tom had proven that he could work as a warrior just fine.

"Sparkfrost!" He called when his eyes met his calico fur. His son hadn't been given the chance to train a young cat but it could be a good challenge to both Sparkfrost and Magpiepaw. "Good morning, Sparkfrost. I was hoping you could help me with something. You see, Magpiepaw has no mentor and I believe you can do a great job training him to hunt and fight like a true Riverclan warrior. Do you think you can do it?" The leader had no idea which tone to use. He still felt guilty about the fact that he lost him in the flood... and he wanted to be a good father and leader to him despite him not knowing their biological connection. But, how to do that when there was so much he couldn't say? So much Sparkfrost and his siblings could never forgive him? Scorchclaw was right and he knew it: he was a coward. And yet, Starclan decided he had to stay as leader until his incoming death. What kind of fate was it? Or was it a punishment instead? He could not know.

It felt strange being back among the reeds. Riverclan territory was more saturated than usual. Not that he really understood what usual was. In the warrior's mind, he'd hardly stayed in the camp for more than a few sunrises. Sparkfrost was perhaps the only Riverclan cat that longed to be back at the edge of the lake with cats from all clans, friends he had gathered, chatting idly as they shared tongues. But that supposedly was not the way they were supposed to act. A frown crossed his maw for a moment before he heard his name called. Ears perked, the turned in the direction of his name. The leader was looking at him with a peculiar emotion behind his gaze but the blue cream coated calico hardly stopped to notice it before trotting over. An apprentice was there. But he had no idea of the other tom's name until Jaystar spoke.

At first he found himself confused by the words, as he was till becoming accustomed to their traditions, and then he was mildly surprised. He was going to be trusted with training a young cat. Something about that was particularly appealing and his tilted head nodded eagerly before he spoke. It only occurred to him for a brief moment that he had no idea how to really hunt or fight himself, at least not in the traditional way. I'm sure it won't be too hard to figure out. We can learn together, little buddy. Sparkfrost's tone was eager when he finally spoke, "Of course! I'd love to train with you, Magpie....paw. It'd be my pleasure." He found himself standing a little straighter as his paws tingled with an excitement he couldn't quite place the reasoning for. This was the best he had felt since the loss of one of the few cats he knew, Starlord. And with his strength quickly returning, this would be easier than a swim down the stream.

For a moment, Magpiepaw thought that his ears might be plugged, that he wasn't hearing correctly.  Did Jaystar just...compliment him?  The thought was such a vague concept to the insecure young tom that he didn't dare believe it, yet he felt his face flush with heat as his golden eyes flitted to the ground to glance at his shuffling paws.  I don't deserve your recognition yet...but maybe someday, I can be worthy of it.  His wish had been granted though; he was about to receive a new mentor!  With a relieved smile, his mind raced as he tried to think of who Jaystar would pick.  Lilytail was nice, he remembered her popping into the nursery every one and a while in his kithood...or maybe Heronflight?  He was getting a bit old, but he admired his courage, going all the way to the mountains to fight Sharptooth and the dogs.  Berrycloud too!  He hadn't been able to spend a lot of time with his older adopted brother, and lately, it didn't seem as if he was in a very great place.  Maybe he could help him.  

"Sparkfrost!"

Magpiepaw couldn't quite hold back a surprised mewl; huh?  Sparkfrost?  I thought that...  His mouth open in a round O shape, the bi-color tom watched as his amnesiac older brother approached them with the same bright smile he remembered from the time before the flood...but now...he knew it wasn't the same.  Finchstream had explained it to him...Sparkfrost didn't remember him.  He didn't know they were brothers...or well, adopted brothers anyway.  He didn't remember the time when he had almost given him a heart attack by swooping him out of the nursery...nothing.  So, when Jaystar finished talking and Sparkfrost's gaze turned to him, he suddenly felt very awkward.  Well, more so than usual anyway.  What could he say?  Should he try to make him remember?  Could he remember?  Or should he just treat him as a stranger...as Sparkfrost was doing to him?  Biting his lip, he couldn't help but wonder why Jaystar was doing this.  By all means, Sparkfrost was injured.  Should he really be out hunting and fighting and training apprentices?  As soon as the thought crossed his mind though, Magpiepaw mentally slapped himself.  You're being dumb, he deserves to be a warrior just as much as you do, probably more in fact.  He's Jaystar's son after all...he must be confident in his skills.  Ignoring the weird way his name had been spoken, Magpiepaw forced a smile, dipping his head anxiously as he meowed; "T-Thank you, I'm l-looking forward to l-learning."  Meeting Jaystar's gaze for a moment to give him an appreciative nod, Magpiepaw suddenly felt a burst of energy blaze within his chest.  I'm finally going to learn how to be a warrior!  I can be useful...oh, StarClan thank you!  I promise I won't let you down!  His smile quickly becoming much more genuine, he turned back to Sparkfrost and purred.  "So, w-when do we start?"