Leafpaw's Moonstone Journey

SkyClan had just reunited the prior day, a momentous occasion which had all but halted the progress being made to recover the camp to a fraction of its former comfort and security. Amberdawn had been preparing part of the wall of the medicine den when she had heard her leader and kin, Tinystar, come racing into camp calling for Mintwhisker and Amberdawn herself. The golden tabby cat had dropped her task without a thought to race to his side. Many others had done the same, abandoning their chores to search for and greet loved ones, mourning over the losses of others. Overall the reunion was a whirl of emotion, and when nightfall came and Amberdawn settled into her new nest in the new half-covered medicine cats' den she felt like SkyClan's camp was a little more like home.

This day, another part of normal Clan life would take place: a Moonstone journey. Despite this being a typical event, it was nothing Amberdawn had ever experienced - not like this. She had gone on a Moonstone journey herself and had visited as a medicine cat several times, but she had never taken an apprentice on their trip to visit the ancestors. Not only that, but this was the first time that Amberdawn would be visiting the Moonstone since she had been at the lake. Moreover, this would be the first time Amberdawn would be spending time alone with Leafpaw - one of her dearest friends - since they had returned from the lake shores.

In the days before, Amberdawn and Mintwhisker had managed to collect a meager selection of herbs, but they had found everything an apprentice would need to travel. The medicine cat apprentice carried the bundle with her to the apprentice's den, the light of early morning shining in behind her as she peered in to call, "Leafpaw? Leafpaw.... Are you awake?" She watched for movement for a moment before withdrawing and beginning to pace, herbs still pinched in her teeth.

A distant mew stirred in Leafpaw's mind, and sounded strangely familiar. The brown and white tabby tossed and turned in her nest, trying to break free from her dream. The voice was louder this time, and more distinct. Amberdawn? The apprentice thought, stilling herself and opening her eyes slowly. Sure enough, the golden medicine cat stood above Leafpaw's frame, herbs clamped in her jaws.

"Oh, hi!" Leafpaw mewed groggily, shakily finding her paws. "Is it morning already?" The apprentice peered through the den walls, barely making out the faint white light of late dawn. I guess it is... Leafpaw thought to herself, wondering how many of her fellow apprentices were already awake. The she-cat offered Amberdawn a smile, gazing at the herbs in her mouth. "Amberdawn! We're going to the moonstone? Aren't we?"

Not wanting to sit in the stuffy den any longer, Leafpaw bounded out into the clearing, feeling the cold light of day fall upon her pelt. Over the sunrises since her mother's death, the she-cat had slowly begun to find her heart once again. Foxpaw didn't feel as if he needed to stay by her side as often, and Leafpaw was even able to trek through the forest without shedding tears. But her biggest cause of excitement, the one that fueled her soul, was the opportunity to see Tigerleaf again. She couldn't wait to journey to the moonstone and reunite with her mother. Maybe Tigerleaf would help her with her sadness, and give her a purpose once more. Whatever was to happen, Leafpaw was sure it would be good.

"I have to eat those, right?" Leafpaw called to Amberdawn, excitement pumping through her heart. Over the past few days, she had nagged Sunpaw, now Sunflower about becoming a warrior, and speaking to StarClan. Ever since then, she had a goal, to see those lost once more. It was a reason to live, to thrive. And what better way to journey to her destiny then with her best friend? Amberdawn?

Amberdawn felt her voice had been too loud in the little apprentice's den, but fortunately nobody but Leafpaw seemed to stir from it. The brown-and-white tabby was wriggling, shuffling about. Slowly, her eyes flickered open, and the glimmering gaze looked into Amberdawn's for a moment. "Oh, hi!" a warm, sleepy voice chirped from the nest, and Leafpaw slowly began to stand, asking drowsily, "Is it morning already?" Amberdawn made a quiet sound of affirmation as she began to back out of the den, letting in a ray of sunlight where there wasn't one before. One or two apprentices shifted in their nests, making the medicine cat apprentice shrink down slightly, but Leafpaw didn't seem to notice or care.

"Amberdawn!" she practically exclaimed, "We're going to the moonstone? Aren't we?"

Having finally exited the den completely, Amberdawn looked to see Leafpaw following closely, bounding out into the clearing of camp looking refreshed and more energized than the medicine cat had seen in days. Amberdawn sat the packet of herbs down and replied with a grin, "Yes, that's right! I'm curious what the rest of the forest looks like after the flood." Leafpaw then turned, noticing Amberdawn's herbs and asking if they were for her. The golden tabby she-cat nodded and pushed them gently towards her dear friend. "They don't taste very good," she admitted, "But they'll help you keep your strength up while we make the journey."

Leafpaw gave Amberdawn a sheepish smile as she bent down and lapped up the herbs. They had a strange taste to them that made the apprentice wrinkle her nose. I'm coming Tigerleaf… soon! The thought of traveling away from SkyClan once more was a little scary, if the apprentice was honest with herself. She had found somewhat of a sanctuary here, knowing she could always cling to her friends if the tears decided to come again. It was a shaky platform she had built for herself, and Leafpaw felt it could fall at any moment, tossing her back into a world of sadness. But everyday it grew stronger. Everyday Leafpaw felt a little better. Seeing Tigerleaf again would solidify her well-being. She needed this.

"I'm ready Amberdawn!" Leafpaw sniffed, feeling a little bittersweet. She was glad her friend would be the one to accompany her on this trip. The golden she-cat was steadfast and strong, she had been with Leafpaw through thick and thin. Taking a deep breath, the brown and white tabby set a course out of camp, gathering up all the confidence she could muster.

Amberdawn stood patiently nearby as the apprentice stooped down to begin eating the traveling herbs, her dark amber gaze wandering over the camp clearing absently as she waited. The sky was gloomy and gray, as it had been since they'd returned, and the medicine cat apprentice was sure they'd run into rain before the end of the day. If they had survived the trek up from the lake, however, they could surely make the journey to Highstones. In Amberdawn's case, she felt much more safe than Leafpaw did, most likely; she'd been to the Moonstone several times before for medicine cat meetings and her ceremonies. While this was the first time she'd be taking an apprentice on their journey, it didn't change the journey itself. Amberdawn still knew the way, and, even better, she'd be able to enjoy the journey with her friend.

At least.... that was her hope. When the pretty brown tabby pronounced, "I'm ready Amberdawn!" the she-cat's gaze flicked back to her friend. Amberdawn nodded her golden head once with a smile before the two of them struck off towards the direction of Fourtrees. The golden tabby brushed her fur against her companion's as they headed into the forest. The ground sprang under their paws, moisture seeping up from between their toes, and occasionally water droplets fell from the scraggly trees to land on their pelts. The two of them had seen SkyClan territory - or what had become of it - fairly often recently, but they hadn't gotten to see Fourtrees or any of the Clan territories beyond. SkyClan had been the first to split off from the lake cats on the way home. Secretly, Amberdawn hoped she may even see one or two of her friends on patrol along the way.

The trek was quiet. Amberdawn wasn't sure what to say. Leafpaw had been a bit absent since SkyClan had returned from the lake, yet when the other half of the Clan had returned from the mountains she seemed to have perked up. She didn't seem to be back to her bouncy, bubbly self, but admittedly Amberdawn hadn't been able to spend much personal time with her lately. Clan reparations had taken everyone's time up completely. She wanted to know what Leafpaw was feeling... She seemed a bit more alert today than she had since the rest of the Clan had returned, and Amberdawn wondered what it meant.

As they entered Fourtrees, Amberdawn gazed down the slope. The place where the Clan cats usually sat, gathered beneath the leaders, was a mud pit full of slop and pools. "Yuck," Amberdawn mumbled, "I sure hope that dries up by the full moon." The golden she-cat instead padded her way around the edge of the upper slope, avoiding the mud altogether to begin coming out on the other side near WindClan. The medicine cat apprentice looked to Leafpaw, her dark eyes searching. "The forest has changed, hasn't it?" Amberdawn asked carefully. "Are you... Are you doing okay?"

The silence that settled in was new to Leafpaw. The two cats walked amongst the trees, listening to the leaves sway in the wind. It was beautiful, really. Despite the water and muck that had accumulated on the forest floor. Leafpaw thought back to a couple of moons ago when she and Amberdawn first began to explore the forest. It was leafbare, then. White snow sat in clumps on the ground, nothing could be more pure. The SkyClan apprentice had been innocent, as girly and gentle as the frost that nipped at her nose. It was perfect. Tigerleaf was maybe out on patrol, Foxpaw was playing with Larkpaw and Ashpaw, and Leafpaw didn't have a care in the world. But one by one they all fell to the forest. Tigerleaf drowned in the flood, and the new life, Firflower's kits took her place. The brown tabby would be lying if she said she didn't enjoy the small bundles of fur that paraded around camp. But there was still a hole in her heart. Something missing.

The two cats had been padding through the trees for a while, and broke through the undergrowth finally, gazing upon Fourtrees. Leafpaw couldn't remember the last time she had been to a gathering. The past few sunrises were spent on the journey home, and now again, marching to the moonstone. Amberdawn's voice reached her ears as she commented on the state of their gathering spot. "I hope so too..." Leafpaw squeaked, wondering what it would be like when she saw Mosspaw and Ravenpaw again at the gathering. They walked toward the moor skirting over pools of water, leaping over fallen branches.

"Are you... Are you doing okay?" Amberdawn asked a question Leafpaw couldn't prepare herself for. She had tried hard to stay steadfast for most of their journey. Even when they passed that spot where Tigerleaf used to like to hunt, Leafpaw didn't shed a tear. But she was here now on the open moor, staring at her good friend Amberdawn, and saw genuine concern in her eyes. "I..." Leafpaw opened her mouth to speak but choked on her own words, swallowing her apprehension. "I'm lost." The apprentice finally managed to speak, fighting the tears that crowded at her temples. "Tigerleaf's gone, Foxpaw's busy, and Tinystar is just as sad as I am... I wanna... I wanna be okay again. But I can't. Not until I see my mother." She'll tell me it's alright... Leafpaw thought, sniffing. "You're right, Amberdawn. The forest really is different. It's dangerous... I wish I would have known that sooner." Leafpaw was surprised by the maturity of her own voice, but she knew deep down it needed to be. The brown tabby pressed her head into Amberdawn's shoulder, letting out a long sigh. She hoped they could share a moment of understanding. Amberdawn was certainly good at that. "Thank you, Amberdawn." She squeaked after a long moment, removing her head from her friend's side. "I'll get better... it's alright." The moonstone was not far now. Leafpaw hoped she could find some form of solace there, or at least something to give her a pass to be happy again.

It took a moment for Leafpaw to answer, and for a moment the medicine cat apprentice wondered if she should have waited until after her journey to bring it up. The brown and white tabby opened her mouth to speak, but barely a sound came out. Amberdawn saw the tears threatening to spring over immediately as Leafpaw found her voice again, stating, "I'm lost." Amberdawn didn't respond, though her heart was breaking for her kithood friend for what must have been the hundredth time, as her friend continued as well as she could with her sadness creeping outward. "I wanna be okay again," Leafpaw answered, "But I can't. Not until I see my mother."

Amberdawn was thankful that she had to dip away just slightly and look towards the ground to avoid a large mud puddle; it was perfectly timed for her to keep the sudden flash of uncertainty in her eyes away from Leafpaw's gaze. She doesn't realize she might not see Tigerleaf. The thought flashed through Amberdawn's mind and she didn't know how she could have possibly broken the news to her friend. Even a medicine cat couldn't always decide who they spoke with in StarClan, let alone an apprentice who was simply on their first journey to speak with the ancestors. The medicine cat prayed hard that Tigerleaf was, in fact, waiting for Leafpaw up there. She wanted that for her friend more than anything.

But the moment passed and the two travellers were quickly side by side, the doubt in Amberdawn's eyes having been - hopefully - successfully hidden before their eyes met again. The apprentice at her side was saying, "You're right, Amberdawn. The forest really is different. It's dangerous... I wish I would have known that sooner." Leafpaw's voice uncharacteristically soft, full of thoughtfulness so like when they'd walked and pondered what new-leaf would be like during the leaf-bare yet so aged and wisened.

"There's never a reason to dim the light of hope before its time," Amberdawn murmured thoughtfully, "It's a shame we can't always be as soft as when we were kits." Her tail-tip flicked as she added to herself, I wonder if that's why kittypets do it. Leafpaw leaned her head then against Amberdawn's shoulder, and the slender golden she-cat thought nothing of doing the same, even gently brushing her muzzle against her friend's ears. Then the moment was over and the two parted a bit.

"I'll get better... it's alright," Leafpaw reassured her, and Amberdawn smiled softly back.

The final leg of the trim was windy, the sky growing cold and dark, and the rain which had drizzled throughout the day had settled into an unsteady lull for the time. Even the moon seemed to have a chance at peeking through - thankfully - as the pair reached the Mothermouth, Highstones looming above them like dark teeth against the stormy sky. Amberdawn felt a bit of a chill as they paused. "Alright, Leafpaw, we're here. Once we enter the Mothermouth we can't speak until we have reached the Moonstone. It's really dark in the tunnels so you'll need to stay close and follow me, but I've made the journey several times before. You'll know when we've arrived in the cave; I think it may be lit before we arrive. StarClan will be waiting for you." Amberdawn's pelt rippled with trepidaton, and she added softly, "Whatever you see in your dream - whoever meets you - your dreams are your own, and aren't meant to be shared. You must keep your meeting secret unless they tell you otherwise."

The golden she-cat watched her friend for a moment, waiting to see that she understood, before at last the pair ducked into the long, dark, winding cavern that led to the Moonstone. Amberdawn paced along slowly, perhaps slower than necessary, always making sure that the tip of her tail was brushing her dearest friend's fur. After a long silent trek a dull gray light appeared in the distance, and as they walked it rapidly grew brighter until is could nearly have rivaled the sun were the light not so cool. The tunnel opened up vast and glistening around them, with the glittering stone before them.

Amberdawn approached it, looked faint as starlight in the piercing light of the Moonstone. "They're ready for you," the medicine cat apprentice murmured, though she felt her voice was not entirely her own for reasons she couldn't understand. "Lay beside the Moonstone and touch your nose to it, and you will fall into a dream. I'll be right here when you wake up." She touched her nose to her friend before settling a short distance away, watching attentively.

Once Leafpaw's thoughts had drifted into the air, she felt better. Like releasing a secret, the burden was lifted off her chest. "It's a shame we can't always be as soft as when we were kits." Amberdawn mewed to her, and Leafpaw gazed up at the golden tabby in awe. It made her wonder what kind of life the medicine cat was living. Are you broken too, Amberdawn? Or perhaps she was just empathetic. Tinystar said medicine cats should be understanding, and the she-cat was perfect. It made Leafpaw feel safe in a strange sense of the word. That there was someone who understood her trials. It didn't bring Tigerleaf back, but it was comforting, nonetheless.

They walked the final stretch of the trip in silence. Leafpaw was surprised to find WindClan's territory in ruins as well. Even their moors that seemed to touch the sky were filled with pools of water. Large yellow bushes were toppled over, and the wheatgrass lay flat over the ground. It made the apprentice thankful for SkyClan's trees. At least her clan was able to find safety from the moist soil. The sun began to set over the hills, lighting the leftover floodwater in brilliant shades of red and orange. Leafpaw's paws were wet and sore by the time the two cats reached Highstones. A ripple of apprehension tickled the she-cat's spine, and she remembered the stories Sunflower told her about this place. The last time the clans were here, they were fighting dogs and strong beasts. The brown tabby was thankful that the path to the moonstone had not been corrupted by the same rocks that crushed the clan's enemies.

Amberdawn gave Leafpaw some instructions, and with every word Leafpaw shivered sheepishly. She was excited to see her mother, yes. But the thought of journeying down that dark tunnel, where those dogs might be, scared her. "Alright Amberdawn…" Leafpaw squeaked. They descended down the tunnel, and the she-cat felt the cave walls brushing against her fur. it was pitch dark, and only Amberdawn's tail tip against her nose gave her a sense of direction.

It was whimsical when they arrived. The moonstone shone like Sunflower promised it would, brilliant flashes of white and crystal, reflecting off the walls, and sparkling with the warriors or StarClan. Leafpaw felt a surge of joy flash through her heart. She was here, and StarClan was ready to accept her. Tigerleaf would be waiting for her! "They're ready for you" Amberdawn spoke, and Leafpaw edged closer to the stone, every step shooting excitement through her frame. Tigerleaf, I'm here mother... She sat quickly, pressing her nose into the stone. I can't wait to see you again...

She would have far preferred to be disturbed for a meeting with a Shadowclan cat. Despite her apprentice and kithood longing to meet her great Skyclan born father, the grey tabby's allegiance had been with Shadowclan. Even when she had abandoned them for rogues and turned her back on the clans, even when the cats she grew up with and loved had been the ones to strip the life from her body, Shadowclan was her clan. Wolffang had resigned mostly to a life with her kin among the stars, making up for the lost time in life with her sons. But it seemed that even in death Starclan was decided they wouldn't let her rest. They had somehow found value in her disappointing life, up to the point of saving her from claws the first time, welcoming her into their ranks, and even sending her to speak to several mousebrained apprentices. If she would have known that in life some stupid, hopeless, belief in Starclan would have lead to all this, maybe she wouldn't have prayed as hard.

Wolffang almost laughed aloud at her own internal commentary but settled for a twitch of her whiskers as she prepared to met the young she-cat she was supposed to speak to. The last apprentice she had spoken to had tried to nearly claw her nose off. Thankfully this one seemed less... passionate. Her yellow eyes narrowed as she considered what she knew about the young cat. Tigerleaf had been a fitting parent, far better than she had been, and it was tragic to see her torn away from her kits. Leafpaw had been left without a mother to raise her. Without a doubt she was hoping to see the late Skyclan warrior. What a disappointment this would be. The former Shadowclan warrior exhaled softly as she sifted through other things. One of the most interesting was the apprentice's companionship with the leader's daughter. What a cowardly thing he was. And to Tinystar of all leaders. She shook her head slightly. Thankfully this wasn't her clan to bear.

"Don't look so happy." Wolffang flicked her tail mildly as she eyed the apprentice with a blank stare, "We're not some magical beings, really, just dead cats." There was a rasp to her voice as she locked eyes with the Skyclanner. Despite the fact that Leafpaw was still young and Wolffang had survived many moons, the young cat actually stood slightly taller than her. But size had never mattered much. Wolffang had certainly enough spirit and spite to compensate. Before launching into her own, half-attempted bestowing of wisdom, the warrior sat back on her haunches and looked over Leafpaw, waiting for a response. This would certainly be an interesting visit.

A black darkness had settled in as Leafpaw fell into the moonstone, drifting through nothingness. The starry grasses came next, long and silver, breezing past her paws and the apprentice found herself on solid ground. This was it, her time. Leafpaw had been waiting for so many sunrises after being told Amberdawn was to take her here. Her green eyes searched the glittering terrain for her mother, with a patterning oh so similar to her own. "Tigerleaf!" She yowled with joy, filled with the optimism of a kit once more as she bounded toward the figure. All her depression would fade away once she sunk her head into her mother's coat. Her sadness could release its hold on her, and Leafpaw could finally be free, bubbly and happy again. She just wanted to see her mother was alright, perhaps it was permission she was looking for. Permission to be joyful again.

The figure in the swathing fields was not Tigerleaf. No joy came from Leafpaw's heart. Crushing disappointment, smashing her emotions into the abyss again. She had been a fool to hope. The world wasn't like that, she had to tell herself. But the bubbly apprentice didn't have a good memory, and found it was easy to become optimistic, leaving herself vulnerable to regret evermore. "Who are you?" The brown and white tabby questioned, almost angry. The she-cat before her had a pelt of gray, and didn't resemble her mother at all. Who was she to keep her from her family? The gray tabby further tugged at Leafpaw's fur, reminiscing on being dead, and demanding her happiness cease. "You're not my mother. Where is my mother? Are you taking me to her? Let me see her, please. I... I miss her."

After anger came sadness, and the apprentice had to fight back the tears that ate at her temples. She wished to be with Amberdawn again, and felt like a mousebrain for ever thinking she could see Tigerleaf once more. "I'm sorry." She squeaked. "I wanted to see Tigerleaf before I became a warrior. How will I ever become one if I can't see her face again?" The she-cat blinked at the gray-tabby pitifully, yellow-green eyes moist and glazed.

Immediately, Wolffang felt a momentary pang of guilt seize her chest. The words she had spoken had been harsh and uncaring. If this were her own kit, or even herself, the desperation would have been similar, more personal. But it faded away. Mostly due to her own past and history, Wolffang had little sympathy to share. The soft feelings of other cats were to be left for those who weren't survivors. And this Leafpaw had to be something more than a helpless kit, crying out for the teat of her mother. The days of kithood were long past. She managed to keep a neutral expression, pushing away any remnant of pity that had been left behind. Her yellowed eyes steeled away any emotion. The former rogue had not come here to coddle the apprentice. Although the image of Barkpelt and Redstorm, Coyote and Wildpaw all flashed through her mind, all of it was swiftly forgotten as she padded closer to Leafpaw with narrowed eyes.

"Kit, the father I sought after couldn't attend my warrior ceremony. My own leader mocked his existence. And the mother I hated was the only one I ever knew. If you thought that life, or even Starclan, owed you anything, it's best you learn now that's not the case." The words were sharp and to the point, sparing no expense. But the grey-coated she-cat found her own tone to be less harsh than she intended. Perhaps there was a softness to her old heart after all. Flicking her tail, Wolffang paused to rasp her tongue over one scarred shoulder. Even a brief glance at her own pelt reminded her of the cruelty of life. But this was how she had died, this had been her happiest state despite everything that had happened during the path in which her paws had been set on. Sometimes it just took experience to understand. A soft sigh left her maw as she turned back to face the apprentice with another mild stare. It came across as annoyance but Wolffang herself only had so much bitterness twisting inside her battered heart.

"No cat has ever simply earned their warrior name, or been passed undeserved respect from their kin." From behind her, the starry landscape seemed to glow a pale off-white and even with her shimmering coat, Wolffang appeared dark against the backdrop. Her head lowered but her tail continued to flicker with seemingly endless agitation, "If you want Tigerleaf to be proud of you, perhaps you could try doing something more than fawning after that coward you seem so willing to take on as a mate or playing around with your friends from other clans. Perhaps you could work for your title and make yourself worthy of being called a warrior instead of simply begging for it to given to you. Then, maybe Tigerleaf would dare waste her precious time visiting you." By the time she finished speaking, her fur stood slightly on edge. Normally, if she had more fire burning within the pits of her stomach, Wolffang would have yowled the displeasure. But instead the words came out a low growl, bordering on a hiss as she spat into the earth. This had turned out to be an interesting conversation after all.

Several emotions stewed around in the pit of her stomach as she sought out the apprentice's reaction to what she had just been told. The she-cat had to remind herself such bitterness was necessary. Mixtures of disdain and sympathy seemed to dance within her chest and threaten to send her sprinting across the clearing. She maintained her composure. This was simply what had to be done. If she was forced to speak to a Skyclan apprentice, then she was going to do it right. If not for Eagleheart, than maybe for herself after all.

Leafpaw had begun to block off all sound from her ears, having shut down as soon as she realized Tigerleaf wasn't hear to greet her. She had been stubborn all her life, striving for the good of SkyClan, but never stretching it as far to ruin a relationship or friendship. Now, it felt like the apprentice was being rude perhaps, unable to meet the strange warrior's eyes. Why she thought of her past kindness during this time was unknown to Leafpaw, but it seemed to be the only thing she could grasp on to as her hope crumbled around her. The brown tabby wanted to shrink into her fur as the warrior spat tales of her past life, speaking of her lost father, a mother she hated. And she implied Leafpaw was entitled, it made the apprentice angry, almost, to be scathed when she had just lost her mother.

"Don't say such things!" The SkyClan apprentice argued, teary yellow eyes now narrowed with an impulsive irritation. "StarClan has always been good to the forest, and they've helped SkyClan survive. They'll take care of me..." They always have... Leafpaw wanted to continue, but she knew her next statement wouldn't be true. StarClan had taken Tigerleaf from her, and perhaps her view of her starry ancestors was only solid because of their past mercy, maybe they really were cruel. It was a harsh revelation that the apprentice didn't wish to come to, but the starry warrior opened her maw again, tearing away Leafpaw's train of thought.

Tigerleaf, proud of her. Leafpaw had been so caught up in wanting to see her mother, that she never stopped to think of what life would entail afterwards. She would be made a warrior, just as Tinystar had promised, maybe have some kits someday. The strange warrior didn't seem to think Sunflower a good choice, and instead she yowled to Leafpaw about pride, honor, and earning her name. Proud. Leafpaw had always wished for her ancestors to be proud of her, when she went on her first hunt with Tinystar, she had wished for it then. And even during the flood, as she fought the dogs against her strongest wishes, Leafpaw had prayed, too, that StarClan was watching her. But now here she stood, in front of the very cats she prayed to, and they told her to do more.

It was difficult, hearing that her past efforts had been inadequate. At first Leafpaw wanted to protest, to defend her life and cause, but her heart was weak. It was easier to accept what the starry warrior was saying, as painful as it was. "Tigerleaf…" Tigerleaf is proud of me... Leafpaw wanted to say, but began questioning whether it was entirely true. After all, Tigerleaf had died, and Leafpaw had done nothing to save her. A true warrior would have spend day and night searching for their mother, but the apprentice was too busy crying over a dead RiverClan warrior. It was pitiful, too. She hadn't even known the tom, and yet the sight of his blood, his corpse, it seemed to tear all spark from Leafpaw's pelt. Maybe she spent too much time with the other clans. Mosspaw, Ravenpaw. Would Tigerleaf want her talking to them? Would Tinystar? Leafpaw started to spiral into her own mind, thinking deeper and deeper of all the ways she possibly failed her clan. Letting that trespasser escape all those moons ago, failing to catch prey when her clan so badly needed it. "You're a foxheart!" She hissed to the warrior, in one last pitiful attempt to save her efforts, but it seemed to roll off her fur like a fallen leaf. "I'll show you. I will. I'll be the best warrior the forest has ever seen, and when I die, when I die, you'll be amazed. But I'm not doing it for you. I'm doing it for my ancestors. For Tigerleaf." It felt like a victory, but the apprentice knew deep down that the starry warrior's words had grasped her heart and held it firm. Leafpaw would be the best warrior to walk to forest, and would make up for all the times she had failed her clan. The words stung, but the success that was bound to come after was enough to mask her grief for now. It made sense now, why her mother didn't want to see her. It hurt, it hurt so bad. Leafpaw wasn't good enough, but someday, she would be. If StarClan wouldn't believe in her, then she'd give them a reason to. Wiping her tears away with a paw, Leafpaw gave the starry warrior one last glance, mixed with emotions of sorrow, regret, but mostly a drive to prove her wrong. "I wish you would have been Tigerleaf. But when I arrive here again, she'll be waiting for me."