Wavering Silence

It was dark.

Silentpaw had been alone for a day, almost two now. Hunger gnawed at her belly angrily, Pulling a wince from the small white she-cat. Morningpaw had told her a little while after she and Mothpaw had returned from the twolegplace that due to her malnourishment as an apprentice, she would probably be significantly smaller than the rest of her rather... large bodied family. As she lay curled upon a smooth, flat stone near the lake, she mused that she would always be tiny compared to her father.

If she ever saw him again.

When she'd first found herself washed ashore in a strange, unfamiliar territory... well, who wouldn't be terrified upon waking up to find yourself in a foreign area?

Silentpaw sighed softly, curling tighter into herself and tucking her bottlebrush tail over her little pink nose. Her own loneliness was pressing in. She'd forced herself to calm down and try to think of ways to handle the situation on her own yesterday, putting her mind to work considering her options... but she couldn't seem to come up with a solid plan.

Her blue eyes only half closed, she watched the lake ripple and sway gently. The moon's silver reflection was broken up and reformed with the water's movements, and Silverpelt was given new shape before it's shimmering lights were warped all over again. Laying by the lakeside like this helped ease the gnawing anxiety and quiet all those hopeless, terror driven questions that seemed to be clawing at the back of her mind. It didn't matter right now if she'd never get home... if she'd never see Mothpaw, Minnowcall, or Scorchstar ever again. All that mattered right now was how she could make it to the next day in one piece.

She just had to keep reminding herself of that and she'd be okay.

She'd still yet to master hunting for herself, but she knew the basics... she hoped that was enough. Prey seemed to be scarce by the lakeside. She could only assume that the small creatures had enough sense to have evacuated to safer grounds during the flood. She was glad for them... but she knew it was bad news for her. She could live without prey for a time, but the fatigue from it would slow her down. Her other main worry was dehydration. Sadly ironic, as she was laying right next to enough water to... literally wipe out an entire camp but she wasn't sure what was actually in said water. After all, what if it had washed over the Carrionplace? Even with the fire, she was sure that the sicknesses she'd been warned about from that side of the territory still had to be a threat. If a cat could get sick from eating crowfood there, it made sense that they could get sick from water that was contaminated by the area.

She shivered and closed her eyes. It was so hard to not let the hopelessness sink in. It was so cold. What would Mothpaw do? She was sure her sister must be faring better than her... Stars, she was the daughter of Shadowclan's most noble and amazing warrior. A small smile snuck it's way onto her face as she thought of how her father had probably rallied whatever cats he could find nearby and pulled all of them to safety. Her kin was so strong... so noble. She was the anxious mess of the family. Her older siblings were all determined and true. They all had such strong wills and unwavering virtues that made them amazing clanmates.

She was just... her.

She was certain any of her family would be able to think of a way out of this situation, but she wasn't like them. The knowledge that she was different, disconnected so far from her own blood was... disheartening. A dull pang throbbed in her chest and the opened her eyes again to watch the water. Silentpaw would have to be strong. She would have to try and think like them if she wanted to find her way home.

Rising to her paws, The apprentice leapt down from her perch on top of the smooth rock and touched her paw to the water before her. She watched her fur dance slowly under the gently rippling surface. She and this lake weren't so different, she realized. Her family was bright and proud, like fire. She was lonesome and quiet, reflecting the blaze of her bloodline in a broken mirror while lost in her own mute reverie. Dreams of being more than she was now seemed... somewhat futile suddenly. She half wondered if her warrior name wouldn't be something like Silentwater.

It would be fitting.

Silentlake, Silentpool, Silentstream.

A single tear rolled down her cheek, soaking into her fur and darkening it subtly. She wanted to shine just as brightly... but doubt echoed in her chest more and more with each passing dead.

That would never be her.

Silence.

That's all she was.

All she would ever be.

Should she just accept it? Gracefully play her part as the quiet, accepting kit. Take her place as someone who was destined to fade into the background... to disappear into the masses? Silentpaw turned her deep blue gaze up to the stars she had held so close for so long. They had carried her here safely, kept her mostly unharmed up until this point. Her faith in them had never wavered...

Would they have the answers she so desperately craved?

She suddenly realized that they were her only companions right now.

A foggy image surfaced from the depths of her memory and Silentpaw recalled the night when she was just a kit... back when her world was still sweet with milk dreams and warmth. Slipping out with her sister to watch Silverpelt with wide eyes, she had been terrified they would be caught and yelled at.

She remembered her father curling around them and telling tales about their ancestors and their love.

How the stars were always watching.

She didn't know if that was true but... a part of her felt like it just might be.

Taking a deep breath, she pulled her paw from the water and turned her luminous blue eyes to the lake once more. She could do this. Alone or not... she was going to fight to survive until tomorrow. And when the sun rose she'd do it again, and again, and again.

With that, she turned her back on the water, padding into the shadows cast by the towering trees around her with pawsteps true to her name.

Ears straining, Silentpaw listened intently to the odd tinkling. Her mind was hard at work trying to estimate how far away from her the source was when another voice reached out to her in the darkness.

"Hello? Is anyone out there?"

This time, the speaker's identity was unmistakable and tears pricked the small she-cat's eyes as she tentatively lifted her head to try and spot the large blue-grey tom.  

"A... Asterspark?"

Her voice was small, a timid squeak by comparison to her brothers' calls, but she couldn't bring herself to be any louder. Just a few moments ago she'd forced herself to come to terms with the fact she'd be finding her way home alone... and the possibility she'd flat out never see her family again.

And here they were, coming to save her.

"I-I'm here!"

Silentpaw gasped at the very sudden, very warm reaction from her brother.

Was her family normally this... affectionate?

Her complete surprise nearly made her miss his asking about her well-being, but once she'd taken a second to process his words she met his concerned gaze with one of her own. "W... where's Mothpaw?" She mewed, nearly whispering. She needed to see her sister, to make sure she was safe and unharmed... and following that thought came: "And w-where are mom and dad? Are they all alright? Where is everyo-"

The odd tinking sound caught her attention again, making her pause and turn her head in the direction of the noise once more.