Berrypaw's moonstone journey

Starclan was cruel, her heart clenching and her lip struggling not to curl due to her sheer will-power. It was disgusting, she did not want to take her parasitic spawn with her to the moonstone but she herself had no choice but to. Fallowpaw had to rest and watch over her injured clan-mates after all. Disgust made her gut harden and her jaw clench, traveling herbs resting at her paws her gaze glowering down at them as if willing that they are the most disgusting, foul-tasting herbs she could give him. Even then the rats that are her kits didn't deserve the herbs, to begin with, her precious stores were being wasted on the little worms. Goldeneye tore her gaze away and waited, each moment spent sitting there waiting meant more time she had to be forced to interact with them.

Berrypaw had troubled feelings about this trip. A part of him was excited to wander the large lands of the clans that he had not seen yet, to meet the mythical stone Jaystar told him about. But deep inside, he was also nervous. What if Starclan didn't want him? What if because of his rogue origins, he would not be welcome? He shook his head... no, there was no way the stars would not want to see him. He was a Riverclan cat now to the core. He knew the Code, he had learned the ways of the Clans and trained hard to become the best warrior. Starclan had to receive him!

With that hope in mind, the apprentice rushed off his den. He soon spotted the golden fur of the Medicine cat who brought him here. He was grateful to her. Goldeneye was the one who took him away from his rogue past to offer him a new chance in Riverclan. Thanks to her, he could be a warrior! "I'm here, Goldeneye! Are we ready to leave?" He purred with a wide smile, ignoring the disdain the she-cat had for him.

Goldeneye was afraid to speak as if everything would spill out if she as so much as opened her mouth. Regret almost gurgled its way into her throat, but she stubbornly turned away. A small 'hm' escaped her throat to acknowledge her son, turning away from the tom she beckoned him to follow. She wished that he was not standing there, that all of her kits did not exist. Thankfully one of her kits had passed, it was a huge relief and Goldeneye almost felt horrible for thinking such. Emotions warred inside the seasoned medicine cat, hate, disgust, grief, regret, anger, fury, all vying for her attention but she held onto her rage as if she was a starving cat watching over her last meal.

Berrypaw looked up at the she-cat, with big, green eyes. Was he not supposed to talk to her during the trip? He didn't know for sure... Aspenstrike didn't tell him something like that. However, he kept his mouth shut for a few minutes and just followed the Medicine Cat obediently. The least he wanted was to make the cat who brought him here angry.

The large apprentice walked behind her but at some point, he couldn't take the silence anymore. He had to tell her something! Something he had been wanting to say her since the day Goldeneye brought him to camp! But he had to be cautious and respectful... after all, she didn't look so happy... "Ehm... Goldeneye?" He mewed, lifting his head to see the flank of the she-cat. "May I... tell you something?" He mewed with his voice low and a bit unsure.

Goldeneye turned her scarred head to raise a brow at him, dear Starclan did he look almost like an exact mix of her and Jaystar. "What is it, boy?" She meowed, her voice gruff as she regarded him with cold neutrality. Goldeneye figured she was going to leave her response as she was, but in a moment of politeness rearing its ugly head, she meowed as an after-thought. "Of course, I'm a medicine cat for a reason." Goldeneye stated it so matter-of-factly as if she was accusing Berrypaw of being an idiot, which she was but he didn't need to know that.

The tom's expression became a bit shinier when the she-cat answered him. A bashful smile was drawn in his face as he looked down at the Medicine cat because he had already grown bigger than her. "I have almost no memory of my life before the clans or how I was brought to Riverclan. But I do know that you were the one who brought me and my siblings there. Is thanks to you that I have a home, a clan, and a purpose. Thanks to your kindness and compassion, I can be a Riverclan warrior!" He purred with a small chuckle, looking sincerely into her amber eyes, not aware of the true bond they shared. "I guess... I just wanted to say... thank you... thank you so much for giving me a true life here in the forest. Until the day I die, I will always be grateful to you, who took a risk by bringing a bunch of rogue kits into a cat filled with amazing warriors."

Goldeneye contemplated his words for a moment, her paws hardly making a noise as they travelled. "Any cat would have done the same. It's in the code, after all. So I didn't risk anything." Goldeneye meowed stiffly her tone hardening as she lied through her teeth, worried that if she said anything more she would give it all away. After all. She was risking everything.

Even though the she-cat tried to be modest, the tom couldn't help but insist. In his eyes, Goldeneye was his hero, the one who took him away from the shadows to see the light of a new life far beyond his origins. Berrypaw's tail flicked and he shook his head, energetically. "Come on! You don't have to be so modest. Even though the Code to aid kits in need, it doesn't include the part where a warrior or medicine cat must bring them to camp to be trained as clan cats. I... I'm well aware... that all my clanmates like me because of my rogue blood... and that they don't like outsiders to be sharing duties with them. Some might even think that you were wrong by bringing us to Riverclan camp. But I disagree." He mewed, lifting his head a little to the sky. His green eyes were bright and the shining stars could be easily reflected in them. "I think you're an amazing cat and because of the chance you and Jaystar gave us, I will make my best to make you and Riverclan proud. I will be the best warrior I can be so you never regret your decision to take me and my siblings." The tom nodded, reassuring his words. Berrypaw was not afraid or unsure. There was no doubt inside his heart because there was no way or obstacle that would stop him from reaching his goal. If he worked hard, stay loyal and strong to the beliefs of the clan, then he would prosper and shine as a warrior, and everyone would forget about his unpure blood.

Goldeneye's breathing hitched as her hackles raised, didn't he know when to shut his trap? Lips peeling back she rounded on him, her tail lashing furiously. "I am not the cat you believe me to be! You can bleed yourself dry and you would not make me proud! Shut your trap or preach to a cat that cares!" Goldeneye snarled spittle flying as her ears pressed against her cranium. Guilt and rage surged forth as she looked up at her son- no he was a rat, a parasite, a cat that was a testament to her sin and treason. His very existence was a threat to her. "Let's just get this moonstone over with, the sooner the better." She growled, her voice lowering as she turned back around. They would be there soon, just half-way through the journey.

The tom flinched and his cherry smile disappeared at the rage of the she-cat. He stepped back, he flattened his large ears against skull as he lowered his head, shocked. He looked at her with big, open wide green eyes that were filled with sadness and fear. Berrypaw did not expect her to be so mad... did she really hate him that much? The large, golden tom watched how she turned her body to keep walking, with no more words left to said. Her message was clear. She didn't care about his efforts, about how devoted he was to her. Why would she care about a rogue kit with no bonds with Riverclan like her?

The apprentice's tail dropped to the ground and he followed Goldeneye, this time, behind her tail and keeping his head down. He clenched his teeth, frustrated. Why didn't she want him? What did he do wrong? The young tom just wanted to show her how much he loved her for giving him a life in the clans yet she didn't care about it. Maybe Goldeneye was right... but he couldn't deny that he still felt like he owed her something. How could he return what she did for him when the medicine cat didn't want a whisker from him? Was he really nothing for her?

"Good, you understand." Goldeneye snorted, turning to face ahead. It wasn't long until they were at mother-mouth, and she was standing in wait for her son. "Follow me closely. Once we get in there you will lay down and press your nose to the stone." Goldeneye instructed lowly before turning onto the path and following the tunnels just as familiar as her own den. Winding and twisting, it was not long before they reached the stone. Goldeneye padded to the side and sat in wait.

With a bitter taste on his mouth, Berrypaw did as he was told and he settled down in front of the shiny rock. Was this the Moonstone, the sacred stone of the clan? Will Starclan accept him? He closed his eyes and tried to relax his tensed muscles and he leaned forward. The cold of the rock on the tip of his nose made him shiver but he didn't step back.

He kept his eyes closed, tightly as he waited for anything; a breeze, a movement, a feeling. How would he know that he was in Starclan? His doubts where soon answered when he felt some tickling in his right ear. The apprentice opened his eyes, surprised, just to be welcomed in the starry plains of Starclan. He did it! "Yes! I'm finally a clan cat!" He yowled, joyful as he bounced around like naive kit.

"Did you truly doubt it, big tom?" A sound of a cat that was watching the living cat finally was heard. Berrypaw couldn't forget that voice and as soon as he turned his face to see Firepaw, tears of happiness fell off his face. The bigger tom didn't think twice and he rushed to the Starclan cat, jumping over him. The two apprentices rolled over the ground, laughing. His fur, the way he smelled... all of it was Firepaw! His best friend was here! He was not gone! Berrypaw couldn't be happier.

"I missed you so much, Firepaw! You don't know how hard has it been without you around..." The golden-furred tom mewed after he laid down with his back on the grass and his head turned toward Firepaw's side. The starry tom just smiled and touched his face playfully. "I know, silly. I've been watching over you from here. And taking in count that, I must say you've grown to be a great Riverclan cat, Berrypaw! I'm jealous but also so happy for you... you've come so far, you know you can't stop now, do you?" Berrypaw chuckled before looking into his friend's eyes, with a defiant look, a neverending fire inside of it. He pushed his paw back in a friendly manner before sticking his tongue out. "How could I stop now!? I may be a rogue kit but I won't stop until everyone sees how great I can be as any clan cat. I've so much work to do. I want to leave a legacy in Riverclan... our legacy... for you, for me, I'll prove them all that blood doesn't matter as long as you can work as well as any other warrior. You'll see."

Firepaw just nodded as he rolled over to stand up. The lean, bicoloured tom sat down, smiling to his stocky friend. "I know, Berrypaw. Tomorrow there'll be more of us. But I'm not here to just encourage you. You already have the determination and passion of a true warrior." Berrypaw inclined his head a little, confused and curious by the enigmatic words of his friend. He laid down on his belly and looked up at him, as he was asking with his eyes what did he mean. Firepaw, on the other side, just smirked a little and dropped his thin tail over the yellow-furred apprentice. "There's a great future upon you. But you must know there are secrets involving you that might be revealed. It's not my place to tell you what they are but I can say that they will surprise you. You're not what you think you are and you are more connected to Riverclan than you ever imagine." Firepaw lowered his body once more, letting his head rest around Berrypaw's scruff mane. The apprentice welcomed gladly the affection of his starry friend as he purred back, affectionately. "Great things are going to happen in your life, good and bad ones. You have to be brave and strong for the truth that's about to come. You must never forget who is your real family, Berrypaw: those who raised you, who loved you and have been with you. Listen more and try to understand... and to forgive. A life with resentments is not a happy one."

Surrounded by the comforting warmth of his friend, Berrypaw closed his eyes, listening quietly to his words. He wasn't quite sure about what he meant but he would never forget them, that's for sure. He pressed himself closer to Firepaw and the Starclan cat did the same, purring close to his tufted ears. "You have to go, Berrypaw... your time her is over. Just don't forget I'm here, always by your side on every step you take... please... take care of yourself and my family. Tell them I'm sorry for leaving them so soon... I love you, friend..." Even if he was crying because of the goodbye, the apprentice was happy. He licked his friend's neck as he smiled. "I'll miss you... I'll see you on the other side of the war..."

And in an instant, he was back on the cave. The stocky apprentice opened his eyes fast as a lighting and he stood up, looking around a little bit confused at first. Once he finally recovered, Berrypaw glanced Goldeneye's body. "I'm ready, Goldeneye."