Heartache and Heartbreak (Closed)

Hillfire knew that he was risking a lot. If discovered by Lichenmask, he could be banished from the exiles, or even killed. If the clans found him, he could be killed by them. But it would be worth it. It had been far too long since he had seen Flurryshine, and his heart longed to be with his mate once again. With the prospect of battle any day, he wanted to talk with her before having to fight his former clanmates. If all went well, she would come back with him and fight for the truly powerful side along with him. Working together, they could help to eradicate the impure and weak cats from all the clans. But he had to find her before the battle began. If she was still on the wrong side after cat had started fighting, than there wouldn't be enough time. So he had rolled around in a patch of catmint near the barn until his scent was thoroughly hidden. The darkness no longer bothered him, the red light solely providing comfort to him, but hopefully the clans weren't so accepting of it. Though the river and the catmint would disguise him well enough, the darkness was on his side as well. Dipping his paws into the river, the tom relished in the chance to go swimming again. Since he was exiled, he hadn't had the chance. Now he could act like a true RiverClan warrior again, and not like the weaklings who infested the once great clan. Wading in chest deep, he dove beneath the cool water, hardly shivering from the icy pricks stabbing through his fur. The cold of the water was something he could easily ignore. Though it was midday, it was as dark and midnight, so he was nearly invisible when hiding behind a large rock in the river. Between that and his scent, nobody would find him unless they were specifically looking for him. It was a part of the river that everyone had to pass to get from camp to a fishing spot in the river, so he saw multiple patrols go by him without even glancing in his direction. Mouse-brains. Smirking, he thought about how wonderful it would be to sink his claws through their fur in the near future. Still, there was only one cat he was looking for.Her bright white pelt would be easy enough to pick out, and he would recognize her scent anywhere. He promised himself that even though it would be hard, he wouldn't jump out the moment he saw her. Other RiverClanners might see him as well, and he had to be safe before approaching his mate.
After a while of watching cats other than Flurryshine walk past him, Hillfire started growing impatient. his hind legs were growing numb from the chill of the river, every so often causing involuntary spasms of shivering. Each time that happened, he glanced around quickly immediately after, always feeling relieved when he hadn't accidentally given himself away. Before long, his whole body became cramped, muscles becoming sore from holding the same position for an extended period of time. Never having been the most patient cat, he began to wonder if he should just go back. After all, he didn't even know if Lichenmask would allow his mate to join them. But an epiphany hit him that motivated him just enough to stay for a bit longer. His kits would have been born by now. A need to know who his offspring were channeled enough energy through him so he could wait a little longer. Love and family was worth it. They were probably wishing they had already joined him with the exiles. Once they arrived back at the barn, they could catch up about everything. He could tell stories about how different the barn was and promise to get their old territory back, she could tell him about what it was like back at RiverClan after the eclipse. The cats had probably been terrified out of their minds! Silently chuckling, he saw another patrol go by. Ducking down, he saw that none of them were the one he was looking for. About to go back to waiting, he noticed a she-cat trailing a bit behind them. Though she was a bit too far away to see or smell clearly, he was sure it was her. But he had to wait until the rest of the patrol passed. Adrenaline shooting through his veins, his legs longed to leap out and run over to her right that moment. But no, he had to be strategic. His mission relied on it.

(OOC: So sorry for the late reply! And sorry for the short and crappy post T-T)

Flurryshine heaved a heavy sigh. She was sore and tired and very fatigued. There was just so much going on as of late that she wasn't able to keep up with. The stench of fear in camp was absolutely stifling, she could barely breathe. She supposed it was a good thing she was going on patrol and getting out into the fresh, open air, even though her muscles screamed at her to stop and lie down. She had no idea raising kits would be so draining.

And she missed Hillfire. Great StarClan, she missed him so much. Even if she was able to find a new mate in Aspenstrike, she still wanted to at least see him one last time before the inevitable battle Jaystar told all of RiverClan about.

"Flurryshine!" Hillfire's voice was a loud whisper as he slipped from his hiding place. The rest of the patrol had already gone by, and he was sure it would be at least a few minutes before they realized she wasn't with them. After all, she had already been fairly far behind already. Immediately after leaving the river, his legs felt stiff and it felt like a million tiny needles were pricking his skin at once. Nearly collapsing from the sudden cold that sprouted through him, he guessed that the water may have been a bit more numbing than he had thought. Seriously, he felt himself shivering involuntarily. But that was no matter. The only reason he was her to to speak to Flurryshine, and he wouldn't let a bit of cold stop him from doing that. Shaking out his legs, he smiled at his exmate with such love that for a moment one could forget about every horrible thing he had done. In seconds he had broken that feeling by running up to the white she-cat and nuzzling her shoulder, purring happily. "Flurryyshine! It's so great to see you again. I've come to take you and our kits with me to the barn!"

(OOC: Oof! Sorry for the late reply! Hope it isn't too late, even if Hillfire is dead now at this point.)

The hiss of a voice spooked Flurryshine out of her thoughts, and she whipped around with her hackles raised, about to let out a call of alarm for the rest of her patrol. Once she saw who it was, however, her fur immediately flattened. She rushed up to Hillfire and pressed her muzzle into his, emitting one of the loudest purrs she's ever produced. "Hillfire! Oh, Hillfire, I've missed you so much!"

His next words caught her completely off guard, and her purring disrupted and vanished as quickly as they had started. She looked up into Hillfire's blue eyes with startled, widened green ones. "Wait... what? You're taking us to the barn? I... I thought you were coming back to RiverClan."

"I've missed you too," Hillfire purred, happy accepting Flurryshine's nuzzle. It felt great to be next to her again, to be feeling her touch once more. Like a living dream. The red moon above them didn't take away from her beauty at all, and he couldn't wait to be sharing a nest with her again. And as soon as RiverClan had been taken over, they could be together without any challenges or bothers from the weaklings plaguing their clan. Everything would be perfect. That was why her sudden surprise baffled him. Never before had he seen her usually enticing eyes so wide and confused, and to be honest, the look did not suit her well. Why did she think he would want to rejoin a clan led by a foolish cat like Jaystar even if he could? Once Lichenmask took over, of course he would. Maybe she was just concerned because she wanted to live in camp instead of in the barn. While that was more comfortable, it would only be for a few more days, and then they would have their comfy nests back. "I mean, it will only be temporary. As soon as Lichenmask gets his way we can rejoin. I just want you to join us, and be on the right side of the battle. If you don't want to fight then that's fine, but please just come with me. We'll be back her in no time, and Lichenmask could even make me his deputy if I get on his good side. But I love you, Flurryshine, and I want to share this greatness with you." 

”I... I-I...” Flurryshine stumbled over her words for a while, not sure what she was supposed to say. She wanted to be with Hillfire again. ...Yet at the same time, she had Aspenstrike and his kits to take care of. She couldn’t just leave them. And what about Dewshine and her kits, and her parents and siblings? She would never be able to forgive herself if she abandoned them.

Finally, with a heavy heart, Flurryshine shook her head. ”I... I can’t go with you, Hillfire. Neither can our kits. We’re needed in RiverClan. I... I can’t just sit by and watch as you slaughter the family I’ve left behind if I went with you. Snow blossom, Lakewhisper, Coldgaze and Meadowpaw... and Dewshine. Especially Dewshine. Aside from Gingerstripe and her own kits, I’m all she has left. I can’t just abandon her to let you and the other cats kill her.”

OOC: Sorry for lateness.

"What?" The one word was filled with a cold anger, quite unlike Hillfire's usual hot-headed spitfire. A shock even colder than the river filled him as Flurryshine continued talking, taking a step away from her. His blue eyes seemed like ice crackling beneath sunlight, filling with an anger fueled by grief. Jaw trembling, he stood up taller, looking down on her. What did she just say? Betrayal pierced his heart like a claw, and his maw twisted into an enraged snarl. For once, he wasn't completely confident that this anger was okay. Always his rage was fueled by a sense of righteousness, and now he felt as if grief may have been clouding his mind. Then she said her name. Dewshine. Claws unsheathing, he dug them deep into the dirt. This she-cat may have betrayed him for that fox-heart, but he still would never hurt her. "You can't be serious. You are leaving me for some traitor? She broke the code in the worst way possible, supports that piece of crowfood of a cat, and created impure kits. I thought you were better than this. I thought you had the sense to see that RiverClan has become a bunch of weaklings! You're family wouldn't be hurt if they see sense, especially if you join me. But I can't have you be loyal to that traitor just because she used to be you mentor! I know you, would never betray me like that. Now get the kits and let's go."

Flurryshine's eyes widened. She stared dumbfounded at Hillfire, mouth gaping, pupils contorting, hackles beginning to raise. Did he... Did he just... tell her what to do? Did he just waltz on into Clan territory that he no longer had the right to be in just to try and tell her what to do?!

Oh, no. Not on her watch. Former mate or no, mentor, elder, parent, even leader, she didn't give a rat's tail who he thought he was.

Jaws tightening and teeth baring, Flurryshine narrowed her eyes furiously at Hillfire. Ohhh, he was in for it now. She was going to make sure he knew just how badly he had screwed up. "Oh, I'm sorry, sweetheart. I must've hit my head hard during battle training earlier because I could've sworn I heard you try to tell me what to do just now." Oh, yeah. This stupid tom was getting no mercy. "I want you to take a good look at me, Hillfire. What do you see? Do you see a mewling little kit who had done something she knew she shouldn't have done? Do you see a disobedient apprentice who knew she had done you wrong? NO! You see a full-grown molly who is old enough to make her own decisions! You see a cat who is not going to take any fox dung from you! You think you can just trespass into RiverClan territory and command me to leave RiverClan with my kits? You think you have any right to tell me where and where not my loyalties should lie?"

She suddenly lashed out a paw at Hillfire's face, striking him across the muzzle with her claws. "You do NOT have the authority to tell me what to do, Hillfire! The only authority you have left is deciding what pile of fox dung your sorry hindquarters lay in at night!" Tail whipping and lashing back and forth behind her, she spat at the silver tom. "To think I ever saw anything in you... To think I had stooped so low as to do little hunting tricks for your entertainment by the river just to impress you! To think I found joy in feeding your blasted ego to turn you into the insufferable tom you are now with compliments and praise that I now see are total nonsense!"

She was reduced to heavy breathing after her furious rant. She never should have fallen in love with such a stupid, controlling, insufferable, egotistical cat like Hillfire. Aspenstrike was a gift to her sent down from StarClan themselves compared to him! "I will not be going back with you. Not me, not our kits, not anyone. You made your choice betraying your Clan, and now you must live with it. And if I ever see you around here again trying to smuggle our-- no, smuggle my kits out with you, I will not hesitate to kill you!"

Whipping back around, smacking her tail across Hillfire's face as she did so, Flurryshine stalked away in search of the patrol she had left behind. It was much easier to walk away now that she no longer had feelings for that ignorant tom. Aspenstrike was all she ever needed now. No one else.