Yearning for her love. (Closed)

The soft murmur of rain fell onto a woven shell of reeds. Within them were warm nests of moss and softer linings. The worn floor of the nursery was comfortable on a she-cat's pads and body as a pregnant she-cat would move about some. The soft silver-furred resident was no different. Her paws ached from changing the mossy beddings of elders for the last time. Her swollen belly evidence of the new life that was flourishing within her. Still, she looked outside with clear longing in her gaze. Hoping to glimpse his ginger pelt, but knowing that he wasn't allowed in the nursery. He couldn't be with her.

It ripped at her heart. Dewshine padded to the nursery wall and pressed her forehead to the protective reeds. Some of the cold sank into her fur, but she couldn't bring herself to care as she murmured out words in the hopes that perhaps Gingerstripe was near.
"I wish I could see you, my love." Her soft fluffy tail flicked in the moss. Her heart heavy in her chest as she pressed her body closer to the reed wall, settling in there despite the mild chill. The audience of the other queen in the den was not much of a distraction. It felt as though the kits themselves wanted their father with her. "I wish I could see how you are getting along. If the clan is treating you well... have you tried fish yet?" She looked down at her silver paws. "I miss you, I can't wait to finally get to see you again."

Gingerstripe sat in the drizzling downpour outside, chilled and completely soaked to the bone. His thin short tabby pelt clung to his thin frame, still missing the sleek and well-fed look that the other RiverClanners had. No other cat would be caught out in this rain if they could help it- except for him. He would be sitting in the nursery with his mate, if he could... but he couldn't. He wasn't allowed to go in there- restricted completely from even seeing his mate except for the occasional glimpse when she managed to force her heavy body out of her nest and into camp to change the elders' bedding. Even then, Viperstorm kept him busy with patrols and swimming practice, so they hardly got any time together. But now, since it was raining so hard, he'd finally managed to catch a break. Instead of using that time to hole up in the warriors' den, in the lonely corner where he was stared at and whispered about but was at least safe and warm, the tom sat here in the freezing rain, hoping against hope that he might be able to catch his mate at the right time and maybe converse with her. Snowblossom, bless her heart, had tipped him off that now might be a good time to try. And, as usual, the sweet-hearted she-cat was correct. He got to hear Dewshine's beautiful, kind, silvery voice... tinged with sadness as it was. Even just hearing her was enough. She was enough. The reason he'd even been willing to brave the hostile glares and muttered threats he got daily. Her and her kits, who he had sworn never to abandon. They wouldn't grow up like he did, constantly lied to. They would know, and they would have a chance to be proud.

As the former loner heard his mate's voice, a smile crept onto his face, and the warmth in his heart kept him from noticing the freezing chill of the raindrops soaking into his pelt. "I'm here, Dewshine," he whispered. "I miss you so much... not a moment goes by when I don't think of you. Of our kits. I just wish I could be there for you, bring you the fattest prey and the softest feathers... but I can't. This is the best I can do, sweetheart. But I still love you."

He was pressed completely into the reed lining outside the den, willing the walls to be a little thinner, wishing that no barriers stood between him and the she-cat he adored above all else. "Some of our Clanmates are beginning to accept me. Viperstorm, who is mentoring me, seems to appreciate my hard work. Nutfur, Flamepaw, and Snowblossom are kind. Hillfire and Stormstrike... well, they- along with others- still seem to wish I was dead rather than here. But they'll come around eventually." At least, he hoped they would. "I have tried fish. I wish you could have seen my expression!... It's slimy and strange, and I'm not used to it- but I expect that I will be soon. I still take voles and mice when I can get them, though. Not that I have much time to hunt for myself. Viperstorm works me to the bone. It's all I can do to find a few quiet moments to get away... if I could speak with you more, I would." The smile on his face faded into a wistful expression, and he shifted his white paws. "How are you doing, Dewshine? Are you being treated well?"

For a moment, Dewshine thought that beyond the rain and the reeds, that she could catch a quick fragment of Gingerstripe's scent. Likely carried through by a trickle of water, except that it was persistant, growing stronger. When he spoke, her body pressed eagerly against the reed lining. Silver fur pressed flat against her swollen belly, but she could hardly bring herself to care. That was His voice. He was here, and she eagerly listened to his answers with a heart laden with love and anguish. She couldn't properly support him, as much as she wished she could. She couldn't tell Viperstorm off to let him stay with her, or pause in her chores to enjoy a brief embrace.

His voice was enough, for now. She could easily picture his soft green eyes. His thin frame slightly more filled but the scents of windclan and rogue days dissappating from his coat. A purr rumbled from her chest. Loud and whole as if he could feel it if he wsa close enough to the den wall.
"My love." She meowed softly in return. "They will get over themselves in time..." the soft encouragement filtered through the wall as she chuckled at the thought of him trying fish. "Well, it will be a blessing in leaf fall and leaf bare. The oily taste will become more pleasant I'm sure." She paused for a moment. Her blue eyes towards the ground as she nestled one paw into the reeds. She could feel a small bit of air there. A small hole, just enough to squeeze a claw through.

"I can't wait to meet our kits." She added with wondering excitement. "I hope they have your eyes." She mused softly. "and your determination. They will need it. "

She replied. Gingerstripe listened eagerly to her words, drinking them in as if every one was a drop of water in a desert and that he had been thirsting all his life. He inhaled the tiny wisps of her scent pressing through the reed walls, drawing even closer to him- not close enough. He wished he could be pressing against her instead, her slim silver body filling out with the lines of pregnancy, soft paws on his, beautiful blue eyes... But he had her voice, and that was all he could have. It was better than nothing. His eyes spied a tiny opening in the reed wall, nestled closely against the ground, not even big enough for a mouse. He stuck his paw in, shoving through the long grasses, slipping around until it fit- and his paw touched hers. Barely bumped a tuft of her fur, as far as his small paw fit into the opening. Just one touch, and the longing he felt for her intensified. What cruel world was it where he was kept from the one cat that he still loved with all his heart?

"Our kits will be amazing, Dewshine," he murmured quietly, reassurance in his soft tone. "Every one of them. No matter what RiverClan thinks of them, I know that they will grow to be the greatest warriors this forest has ever seen- despite having me as their father. Hopefully, they'll all have your tolerance and kindness, your loyalty and your persistence... If even one of them is at all like you, they'll be the best cat in this Clan." Why couldn't more cats be like his mate, kind and accepting and willing to give others a chance, believe in them? If every cat was like Dewshine... they wouldn't even need a Warrior Code. "And I'm not sure if what I have is called determination- I think it's partly just stubbornness," he chuckled, lightening the mood a little bit. Even being near her made him happier. "Too stubborn and mouse-brained to know when to quit. But here I am."