Patchwork [CLOSED]

The hot breeze ran through the Riverclan camp as the night slowly approached. Queens were getting her kits to sleep and the last warriors were returning from their patrols with their apprentices. The leader watched all this with peaceful eyes and he said good night to everyone who passed by him. But his mind was not actually there. Jaystar’s thoughts kept returning to that golden-furred she-cat who always worked inside her own private den.

The Riverclan leader waited inside his den until no cat was heard outside. The tom stood up quietly and left his lonely home, making his way to the medicine cat den. Like several times before, Jaystar entered the den making no noise. He checked on Fallowpaw just to make sure that she wasn’t awake. He might be big and tall but his slender body made him agile and silent. In no time, he was by Goldeneye’s side. Jaystar watched her for a few seconds with many feelings rushing inside his heart: regret, love, pain, happiness. Why did she mess up with his mind so much? He shook his head. The tom wasn’t here to solve that issue. He was here to talk to her and make up what was broken from time ago.

”Psst... Goldeneye. Don’t worry, it’s me. Jaystar. Can you meet me at the entrance of the camp? There are some things we must discuss?” Jaystar left after saying that, not giving many details about his true intentions. If he told her so quickly, she  would probably reject this chat. The tom couldn’t lose this chance of peace.

Goldeneye was roused by the heavy baritone of her leader, Jaystar. Vivid amber eyes peaked up at him under black-cat-lashes, obviously struggling to realize what was going on. She followed him with her drowsy gaze, her mind flickering alive like a monsters eyes as it got dark. The young medicine cat felt apprehension, worry at the prospect of what the tom wished to talk to her about, did he have a plan to prevent the prophecy? Getting to her paws the she-cat let out a large yet silent yawn, padding past her apprentice easily, she knew her den like the back of her paw after-all. When she stepped out of her den, she stretched her whole body out, her form shaking with the sheer force of the action.

Goldeneye's eyes rested on the strong, handsome form of her leader, a tom she had deep feelings for. It was ridiculous, falling for her leader, but he hadn't even been leader let alone deputy when she had fallen for him. Every part of him had her twisted around his paw, his dazzling green eyes, his strong lithe form... Goldeneye shook herself to free herself of such sinful thoughts before padding over to the tom, refusing to show any expression other than stone. "What is it you wanted to talk to me about?" She meowed steadily, though on the inside she was crumbling... falling.

Her stoic face made him doubt. Maybe this wasn’t a good idea. But deep inside, he knew he needed it... maybe she too. When was the last time they talked together only about themselves? It was hard that now that he had to deal with huge clan and she had to deal with taking over another apprentice. Maybe she was still angry at him for sending her with a escort to deliver the prophecy. ”Everything... but I think we must discuss it outside, not here in the camp where everyone can hear us. This is something between you and me... I-I mean, between leader and medicine cat.” He rushed to say that last part as he blushed by his own words. He looked away, trying to keep his head cool. He couldn’t reveal his intentions or Goldeneye would turn him away. ”Come on. If we finish this quicker, we will return sooner.” He mewed short and without many emotions.

The handsome tom left the camp and sunk his large body into the stream that surrounded his home. He had long legs so it was easier for him to cross it. In just a few seconds, he was on the land again, his fur soaked. The leader shook off the water, being careful about not splashing over the shiny and beautiful fur of the she-cat. Why did she have to enchant him so much? His feelings were wrong. It was a mistake. And after that argument they had... she probably didn’t feel the same for him anymore.

Time Skip

Jaystar reached the beach of the river. Between the reed some resting fireflies could be seen, reflecting their light in the clear water of the river. It was a pretty sight... but no more beautiful than the medicine cat by his side.

The tom finally faced her as he sat down in front of the water. ”H-How... have you been these past moons, Goldeneye?” He mewed sheepishly, looking his own reflection on the liquid. A scarred face, with tired green eyes. The hardships of leadership had make him age. He looked older and more serious... less... bright. By now, the she-cat probably didn’t think of him as handsome, not with this exhausted face.

”H-How... have you been these past moons, Goldeneye?” Goldeneye turned to look at him, her mind racing with responses. She was tired, heck, beyond exhausted! Goldeneye in her own way had aged, going from a feisty young she-cat to a seasoned medicine cat that had seen too much blood-shed, had her fur slathered in it. "I've..." She sputtered, her gaze never leaving her paws, "I've been exhausted, I've had my clan-mates blood coating me from my toes to my elbows! My head has been spinning with this stupid prophecy, doing my best to change this path, to alter it so Lichenpaw doesn't cause our destruction!" She hissed, her eyes watering.

"I can't take this! I just can't- I've been struggling through a sea of coagulated blood and no cat is stopping to ask me if I'm alright! My best apprentice, the clans best medicine cat apprentice Chillpaw is dead and I have to pick up the pieces and give the burden of my rank to a kitten! A kitten! I'm condemning this beautiful, young, smart she-cat to a world of death at the bequest of my ancestors!" Goldeneye spat, unravelling, naïve to why she was even telling him things, spilling her heart to him. "I can't stop it, I can't stop any of it." her lips curled, her eyes watering with tears she couldn't allow herself to spill. "So I'm not okay. I'm tired, exhausted, my paws are numb with all this continuous work." Goldeneye sputtered, her body shaking with the force of her grief.

Soon she was quickly pressing her head against her leaders chest, "I'm sorry- I'm so sorry I'm selfish." She sniffled, her body shuddering with it. "You're my leader, and you're dealing with so much more and I-" She sputtered, unwilling to try to finish her rambling. How disgusting could she be?

Jaystar didn’t expect that... Of course, he knew she was tired as ever but he never thought that he would see her so... broken. She had to deal with all that alone, dead, blood, worries. As he listened to everything she said, his own eyes filled with tears when she pressed her head on his chest. His heart immediately started beating faster but the tom didn’t mind it. His whole focus was on the crying medicine cat.

The leader curled his tail around her, in a protective manner. He closed his eyes and sunk his nose into the fur of her forehead, nuzzling gently as he licked her lovingly. Jaystar contained his own cries. He wasn’t the strong type but right now he had to take that role for the she-cat he loved. ”Shh... I’m here. Don’t worry about me. I might be your leader now but I was your friend first, am I right? Go ahead and cry all you need...” He whispered softly close to her ears.

Once she calmed down a little, he decided to speak one more time. ”I know how to feel, Goldeneye... I’ve been there... I’m there. I... I’m not the most suited one to say this but... there are things you can’t control and it can be frustrating. But the best thing you can do is cry, free all that pain and frustration to stand up again and face the hardships. You’re not condemning Fallowpaw. You’re teaching her how to be just as amazing as you are... See her a second chance... she will be a good medicine cat with your guidance and I’m sure she will be ready when the time comes for her to endure the difficulties of your duty.”

He distanced his face from her head to see her better and with one paw he touched her chest. ”Don’t be sorry... I should be the one apologizing.” He mewed with a se smile and tears in his eyes. ”I should have been with you...but I was stuck in my own troubles... stuck in my duties of leader. I’ve not been good with you... I’ve been selfish too... I should have been with you because... because...” I love you... But the words didn’t came out of his mouth like he wanted. Why was he doubting? Because she was a medicine cat and he a leader?

"There's nothing that I can do that will teach her how to deal with all this destruction." Goldeneye sputtered, her heart twisting as she listened to his words. Pushing herself forwards just a bit she rubbed her cheek against his chest fur, craving to hear the slightly excited beat of his heart, to feel the whoosh of his breath against her head. She wanted to feel all of him, every bit of him and to never leave his arms, his comfort. Goldeneye almost whined when he withdrew from her, pressing his paw against her chest as he apologized. "Jaystar, you've always been with me. In my thoughts, in everything. But I've been horrible to you too," , She meowed, swallowing hard.

"I yelled at you when I shouldn't have, you were just trying to make sure I was safe and I shouldn't have acted like a petulant kit. You've saved my life before, you've seen me on the ground bleeding to death and- and I would not be here without you." She said, although a bit hesitantly as she choked out her words. Her eyes growing mystified again as she looked at his own teary gaze, his tentative smile. Her chest swelled at the sight, her own maw pricking up at the corners of her maw, "I owe everything to you, Jaystar." Her voice seemed to drop in pitch, her tail coming in to hug her form as she slowly but surely reached out her paw to rest it on his own. Her paws large enough to cover one of his own and just barely encase it like a tail. "I admit it, we both have our flaws, but you're a new leader, and you have a large clan to lead while I have everyone to treat." She meowed albeit a bit shyly.

The tom looked at her, lost in her voice and eyes. He blushed when she started talking about all the good things he had done for her and his eyes got slightly darker when she mentioned that bloody ocassion when a Windclan cat attacked her in the Gorge. His chest felt hotter when her paw touched his and a pleasant shiver ran through his back.

She... owed him? Was she... grateful to him? A spark of hope showed up when he realized that she wasn’t mad at him. They both did mistakes. And like she said, they weren’t perfect. But... Goldeneye made him feel complete in the same way Cinderpaw did in the past.

His green eyes glanced briefly at the river and he saw the reflection of two cats: a beautiful, golden-furred she-cat by the side of a tall, lean tabby with scarred face and gentle green eyes. According to his vision... together they looked perfect. Why was this relationship wrong then? Why Starclan had to put her in his life as a medicine cat? It was unfair. He loved her dearly. The tom wanted to spend his life with her, protect her, treasure her... even... even if it was wrong. I’m sorry, mother...Cinderpaw... but I can’t help it any longer... He thought silently before opening his jaws.

”You’re right... we’re not perfect but... together we are better.” He said touching the surphace of the water with the tip of his tail as some fireflies danced close to the water and around them. Finally, he saw the light. Without Goldeneye, he wasn’t complete and he couldn’t deny that anymore. The leader turned his face to hers and he saw the light of the starlight reflected in her eyes. How could he not love her? ”I-I... I’ve been unfair to you... My fears, my doubts... everything stopped me from seeing clarity. I’m the one who.. I owe you everything. You were by my side when Cinderpaw died... you took care of my kits as if they were your own... you healed me thousands of times... but most importantly... y-you gave the chance to... love again.” Leaving his shyness for a few seconds, he put his face closer to hers and touched her muzzle with his. Her breath, her touch, her everything made him that everything was right again. Jaystar opened his eyes, meeting her gaze and suddenly realizing how close they were and that she might not love him back.

The tom separated the loving touch suddenly, his face blushed and his paws trembling. ”I-I-I’m s-so sorry... I shouldn’t... I’m sorry... but... I-I-I... really... love you...” Jaystar finally confessed. At last, that weight in his chest was gone. There was no need to hide it from her any longer. Now... it was time to hear her answer...

Goldeneye blinked as he pushed away again after nuzzling her, her heart swelling to fill her very being. Her eyes didn't dare blink or look away to break the loving gaze, he had given her. Then, he said it, the words she desperately wished to hear from him after all this time, "I-I-I... really... love you...” finally. Goldeneye smiled, smiled brighter and bigger than she had in moons and launched forwards to wrestle him onto his back with her standing over him, lovingly shoving her muzzle into his neck fur, her purring so loud it was like a monster running along the thunderpath. Her eyes going misty but for a much different reason now.

"I've waited so long to hear you say that, Jaystar." She meowed huskily, her throat thick with emotion. "Ever since that time we cuddled at sunningrocks in the sun and just, embracing." Goldeneye rasped her tongue against the larger toms cheek with a bit of a quirky smile though it was soon dampened with a looming though. "Even if you're a leader, and I'm a medicine cat we can work this out. We can continue what we're doing, maybe I could sleep in your den once in a while? Pop a little trip out at night like this..." She hummed hopefully, tasting the words on her tongue. "I think we could make this work." She meowed, pushing away intrusive thoughts that were screaming at her for betraying the code. For taking a mate despite her rank, her duty.