Troublesome [closed]

A cloud of discontented agitation seemed to be hot on Lichenpaw's heels as of late.

After the ordeal of Shadefang and Silverfang, it was almost as if he couldn't pull himself away from the depths of whatever dark place he had descended into. The selfish sense of betrayal still ached within his chest, stubbornly nagging at the tender flesh within the center of his being. His mentor was a hypocritical liar and half of his Clanmates seemed to be foxes in disguise. The only thing that was making his foul mood even worse was the constant, futile attempts at furtive glances from Goldeneye. Every time he just happened to lift his head, she was already gazing over at him with some emotion that made his fur prickle unhappily. Did she think he was just like Shadefang? Was she such a cynical cat that she immediately bunched him together with cats like Shadefang and Silverfang? These mindless thoughts only stoked the heated flames of his anger.

Shouldering his way past the low-hanging fronds that concealed the Medicine Cat's den, Lichenpaw's eyes struggled to adjust to the cool shadows that hung heavily in the pungent-smelling den. Catching sight of the golden-furred Medicine Cat only further riled up his sense of hurt and anger, making his pelt bristle slightly. "Why are you always looking at me?" He spit the blatant words out hurriedly, not caring for the taste that they exuded.

The rush of wind and the wafting scent of Lichenpaw had Goldeneye turning to look at him, just as the young tom demanded why she kept looking at him. Her eyes widened as her chest tightened with apprehension, what could she say? She couldn't just tell him the truth, could she? But she could see and taste his anger, she knew that anything that she left to fester would make the wounds worse, just like Shadefang. Clenching her jaw she got to her paws and padded to the tom that could cause all that bloodshed, that could destroy the clans as she knew them. Goldeneye looked deep into Lichenpaw's amber eyes, the brilliance of them taking her back to four-trees.

"Lichenpaw I..." She paused, for once she was unsure of what to say. What were the right words? What could she say that would soothe him? Resting her fluffy tail gently on the toms shoulder she meowed, "I'm sorry for what has been going on as of late. It's news to me too, trust me. It's been rude of me to look at you it's just..." She stopped in her words again, clenching her eyes shut. Honesty was the best she could do, "I see something in you. Something that you're capable of and it scares me, every time I see your eyes, hear the way you speak and the way you hold yourself. It's almost captivating, enthralling. I don't know what it is or why but I strongly believe that there is something special about you. That's why. I am sorry." She dipped her head softly, a small smile on her face. "Has there been anything that has been going on with you? Anything special? Even the smallest of things might expose something great, I just need to know. But you mustn't tell anyone about this okay? It must stay between us because cats like Shadefang might just try to use you." Goldeneye meowed.

Oh, Starclan! She hoped that she was doing the right thing, this was a troubled young tom capable of the greatest of things if she failed then it was the forest on the line. She was uncertain, though she hid it well. "If not, and you need to talk, I'm right here Lichenpaw. I want to help you find your paws if you'll allow me to." She feared that if she told him of the great horrors he'd perform that he'd do just that, that she opened up a path he wasn't aware he had and he'd seize it. But- no cat was born inherently evil, even Shadefang. They were created, and Starclan was entrusting her to prevent it. She couldn't fail!

The gentle attempts of consolation offered by Goldeneye only made Lichenpaw feel cold.

"She doesn't trust you." The familiar voice chided softly, the soft ringing rising into a dull roar. The rest of Goldeneye's words only rung hollowly within his mind, sending a fresh wave of agony storming through the invisible wound within his chest. The intensity of the newfound pain effectively stole his breath away, grasping his lungs with an inescapable, bruising force. Shoulders sagging under Goldeneye's tail, the young tom's gaze dropped to his paws. The realization made him feel so utterly sick he couldn't speak for several agonizingly long heartbeats. A lump welled up within his throat, only adding to the difficulty in communicating. It was always the cats he thought he could trust, the cats he had thought to be companions and guiding forces. "She never has and she never will." He knew that Sparrowleaf was somewhere nearby, silently witnessing the deepening of his invisible wounds and distrust.

The real meaning behind Goldeneye's words went completely over his head, the careful truth being wrongfully twisted into a new meaning. She thinks you're just like Silverfang and Shadefang! You're just as guilty as them. The fur atop his nape bristled slightly, rising into choppy sections of spiked fur. The further attempts at conversation on the golden she-cat's behalf only further vexed him, resulting in him angrily shrugging the she-cat's tail away and stepping back a pace or two. Glaring back at Goldeneye, a familiar heat was present within the wrathful depths of his gaze. The detached fire that raged within the brilliant depths of his gaze eerily mimicked the eyes that Goldeneye had witnessed within the terrible prophecy she had received.

"I'm not like them! I'm just a normal cat- I eat, sleep, and dream like every other creature within this forest! I don't want to break the code, I want to follow it." The spite within Lichenpaw's voice was surprisingly despairing, serving as the only clue that he actually battling against emotions other than anger. Tail giving an enraged lash, the young tom's fur still prickled uneasily. Much too engrossed within the flurry of emotions that were currently ripping at his resolve, the realization of how uncommon his situation truly was went in one ear and right out the other. Perhaps if he had given the scarred she-cat's words more thought, he would've realized how strange Sparrowleaf's involvement in his life truly was. "You've just gone mad- there's nothing special about me."

Goldeneye didn't step after Lichenpaw as he stepped away, as he launched into his small spiel, Goldeneye let the tom get it out of his system. "I never said you were like Shadefang or Silverfang, Lichenpaw, if you just listened, you're a cat with a destiny, and it's your choice to follow it. I had a destiny too, y'know. Starclan picked me from birth to be a medicine cat because I'm special myself. While I'm not all-seeing, I can hear Starclans warriors, it's nothing significant and you'd think it'd be awesome... it's just downright annoying, constantly hearing them gossip, having them hover over my shoulder 'No Goldeneye don't do that!' it's quite draining." Goldeneye tried to change the mood a bit. She rested her tail on his shoulder again but not allowing it to rest there, but on her paws instead. "I could have deviated from that path, even if Starclan had picked me to be honest with you. The choice is in our paws Lichenpaw, not just our ancestors. So whether or not you want to believe me when I say you have a destiny, that is up to you to decide what you want it to be." Goldeneye meowed, a soft smile on her maw.

"You fear to be like Shadefang, and like Silverfang don't you?" Goldeneye saw her chance, "I can assure you you'll never be like them if you'll trust me to help you. Shadefang's paws were unguided, left to wander into a path that pushed him into the tom he is now. But I can guide you, or help you at least because what you choose to do with your destiny is your choice. So I present you this; will you follow your destiny? Or will you ignore it and put your back to what I'm telling you? If you choose the latter we can drop this, but I want to continue talking. I want us to be friends even. The destiny has been chosen for me, and it was my choice to pursue it, but it came with consequences. I may have the respect of my clan-mates, but no cat comes into my den without needing something from me. Not to ask me how I'm doing or the like. But in the end, loyalty for your clan is the loyalty you must hold above yourself." Goldeneye meowed, trying to gently coax Lichenpaw into a calmer state of mind.

Then it flashed across her head, slamming into her thoughts with a relentlessness of a monster slamming into her clan-mates. Kill him. She could end his life and save her clan from the uncertainty of the young tom before her, save them from the threat they weren't even aware existed yet. But she pushed it aside, she could still mold the young tom into a great warrior before it was too late. "I want to do good by you, Lichenpaw. Please let me do just that. Destiny or no destiny."

The newfound rift that had split open within Lichenpaw remained wide open, the gaping abyss bleeding profusely. Yet, for some unknown reason, he did not leave. Even Goldeneye's attempts to steer the heated conversation into safer waters did little to quell the newfound tremors that remained unseen to the eye. Stubbornly dropping his chin tightly against his chest, the young tom's features were still pinched with willful traces of rage. The Medicine Cat's requests only served to confuse him further, dampening the sparks of headstrong anger with specks of dubious confusion. What had she seen in him that had apparently already sealed his fate? The nagging voice continued its whispering taunts, each jibe making his mouth twist more sharply.

Instead of responding to the golden she-cat's pleas for companionship, the young tabby's forepaw reached out to sullenly trace shaky lines in the dry earth before him. The thought of trying to swallow down his anger, hurt, and confusion seemed like an insurmountable task- it felt as though it already preoccupied too much of him to safely let go of. Ears remaining tightly pressed against his skull, Lichenpaw's fur still prickled in an obvious display of his malcontent. Could you ever even escape your destiny? Every cat always said how it would follow you to whatever ends of the earth you fled to. "How am I supposed to do that? Destiny exists for a reason, right? It's not something you can just choose to follow whenever it benefits you. How can I turn my back against fate whenever I don't even know what it is I'm supposed to be against." He refused to acknowledge Goldeneye's question about Silverfang and Shadefang, finding the question to be much too insignificant in comparison to her latter words.

Goldeneye almost cheered with joy at the prospect that she may be getting through to him, but she quickly suppressed it. "That's just it, Lichenpaw. I'm following my own destiny right now, but you know what? I can walk out of this den, go to Jaystar, go to our ancestors and leave it all behind to be a warrior. It's that easy. But it's only this easy because I realized what my destiny is because of my closeness to our ancestors. Every cat has a destiny, but they always have a choice to follow it. You may not realize what your destiny is, but I can help you find it, help you see it, so you can learn and see for yourself if it's a destiny you wish to follow." Goldeneye meowed, yearning to tell him of the blood he was destined to shed but if she allowed him free-will, and opened his eyes to what he could cause, she could gain a grasp on this.

She could do this!

Lichenpaw refused to lift his eyes to gaze over at Goldeneye, instead choosing to remain focused on the shallow score marks he pressed into the dry earth before him. Features still stubbornly twisted in a disdained frown, the young tom's teeth clicked together in verbal display of his unease. It felt as though he was just a kit again, getting scolded for doing something that he believed was right. Was every cat like Goldeneye? Did they all lack trust or faith within him? Stamping his forepaw upon the lightly the messily etched lines, he resisted the urge to sneeze at the storm of dust sent whirling up into the air around the pair, shading the weak streams of light that still bled into the secluded den. "I guess you're right." Lichenpaw still didn't know if he believed Goldeneye's words or not. The premise of destiny seemed so insurmountable, so completely unavoidable that he still felt entirely helpless. "But why can't you just tell me what I'm supposed to avoid? That way I know what decisions to not make."