Words Fail (CLOSED)

The tired deputy returned to the place where he found Adderpaw. The medicine cat and he stayed with the wounded apprentice during the night. Goldeneye was in Riverclan doing her best to help she-cat and he would have loved to stay there for his friend... but he made an agreement with Reedheart before he died. And he wasn't going to not accomplish a cat's last wish.

Jaystream crossed the river, remembering the fight. Through his mind crossed the image of a tom being driven by the sorrow, a warrior who forgot himself in the pain and revenge because of his clan's actions. Long ago, he despised him for what he did to his former mate but after what happened he could only feel bad for him and his sad life. He could have been a happy, healthy and strong warrior. However, fate decided to take away from him his friends and family. Could he be really considered an evil cat? For the grey tom, the answer was negative but he couldn't deny that he committed a crime against his clanmate. If he somehow survived to that... Ivystar would have probably killed him for maiming one of her apprentices. Now, Starclan was the only judge he would get.

The tall tom sat down once he reached Thunderclan's side. He waited patiently for the arrival of the dawn knowing that Leopardclaw would come with it, the cat who gave him the scars on his eyes... the father who recently lost his son. Jaystream couldn't imagine a greater sorrow than that.

Ever since he had raced out of camp earlier that day, Leopardclaw had paced the territory, restless and for the first time in his life feeling confined by the very borders that he helped mark every day.  He had never felt like this before, such an unquenchable throb of agony that resonated from the deepest, most secret parts of his soul.  He wanted to call on someone, anyone, but he knew that no one could answer that call.  The stars glittered, as far away as ever, and he knew that to lay down and fall into sleep would be impossible.  Besides, Grasswhisker wouldn't come to him; he hadn't seen her for many moons.  He refused to go back to camp, where he knew the clan was sitting vigil over his son's lifeless corpse.  Every time he closed his eyes, he saw him, not as a strong warrior but a helpless kit, with green eyes round as the sun.  Now, that light was gone.  Not only his light but his littermate's lights too, and so, so many more.  He knew, soon, that he would be left in darkness once again, just like he had once been.  Alone, cold, and broken.

He wandered through the night, occasionally sheltering under bushes or fallen logs, but he kept moving.  He couldn't sleep, he needed to keep himself busy, keep himself away from the dark nagging thoughts in the back of his head that told him to leave, cross the border, and never come back.  With a start, he realized that he felt the cold density of stone beneath his paws, and he could hear the soothing sounds of the river lapping against the shore; he was at Sunningrocks.  The place where the clan had fled after the fire, where precious Cherrykit has taken her very last breath.  His own blood had slipped out onto these rocks during the great battle with RiverClan, tarnishing his daughter's resting place.  Now, as pale streaks of golden dawn light began to stream down between the trees, he caught sight of a cat he had never expected to see, seemingly...waiting.  He wanted to hiss and chase the RiverClan deputy off, but he couldn't summon the effort.  Even though his mind raced, his paws trembled with exhaustion, and his tail dug through the dirt.  All he could manage was a vaguely surprised expression and a low meow, numb and defeated.  "Jaystream......why are you here..?

The Riverclan deputy watched Leopardclaw arriving and he couldn't help to let out a sorry meow. He looked devastated, exhausted and his green eyes were numb, with lost brightness. Jaystream lowered his tufted ears, wrapping his tail around his paws. He tried to find the right words but... there were any right words to tell to a father that just lost his son? He looked down at the dirt, unsure and sad. "I-I thought your clanmates told you... that I-I wanted to m-meet you h-here..." He mewed, his voice trembling a bit.

He lifted his chin a bit, to look at his green eyes. Those same eyes Reedheart had... Those same eyes that asked him to talk to his father about what happened. Leopardclaw deserved to know the truth about the death of his son, even if it was painful to know. He gulped before opening his mouth once again. "I came here... t-to talk about R-Reedheart... I-I was with him when... h-he died." The deputy confessed, remembering the bloodied battle they had together and Adderpaw's lost eye. Jaystream shivered but tried to stand strong. "He asked me to tell you something..."

Leopardclaw watched, his eyes numb and distant, as the RiverClan deputy acknowledged his presence.  He didn't have the energy or will to be aggressive, or even suspicious; the older tom simply sat down on the stone, his limbs and back stiff from being used for most of the night without much respite.  When he spoke, his low was low and lifeless.  "...maybe they meant to..but they didn't get a chance..."  He had run away before anyone could tell him what had really occurred, and the only thing that gave a hint was the river water that stained his son's handsome pelt, and trickled from his paws.  Had he drowned, been forced underwater by RiverClan scum...he supposed he was about to find out.  If this cat was telling the truth...

"Tell me then."  His voice was curt, not bothering with any pretense of manners or respect.  He didn't want to listen to Jaystream dodge around the bush, shuffling his paws like a nervous apprentice about to be scolded by his mentor...he didn't want to be here at all.  Even if this tom told him that his son had died a death worthy of the greatest leader the forest had ever beheld, he wouldn't care.  His son was gone...no honor or accomplishment could change that.

Before speaking up again, the tom took a deep breath. There were no right words to say such a hard truth but Reedheart's request repeated in his head over and over. He couldn't ignore it. Leopardclaw's son wanted him to know about his mistakes... he wasn't a coward. "I found h-him when I was patrolling next to the Sunningrocks. He was... fighting one of our apprentices, Adderpaw. When I approached them... the apprentice of my clan was covered in blood and Reedheart was about to kill her. I-I-I had to stop him. S-so I fight against him over the ice of the river." The tom mewed, glancing at the numb green eyes of the ThunderClanner.

"Reedheart was in pain... h-he wanted r-revenge for what h-happened to his family, to his clan thanks to mine. He... wanted to kill me." There was no lie in his eyes, just sadness for the wounded tom that was no longer with them. The deputy understood his pain and why he attacked him and the she-cat which such violence... it didn't mean what he did was okay, but he could relate to the feeling. "I made him come to his senses but... the ice couldn't hold for too much time and it broke. I-I-I... r-r-really tried to save him. I b-brought him back t-to your side of the r-river but he was too w-weak... He knew h-he was going to die... so he a-asked me t-to tell y-you the truth... his mistakes. R-Reedheart hoped... you could f-forgive him. I'm sorry..." Finally, the tom stopped talking and he lowered his head, his ears flattened against his skull. Even if they were from different clans... they were both fathers that wanted the best for their kits or their family. It was painful to see that your kit died before you could...

Leopardclaw stared down at his paws through glazed hazel eyes, his black-tipped ears pricked as he listened closely to Jaystream's words, the light breeze making his fur rustle against his skin.  He really had gotten thinner in the last few moons...his ribs showed under his golden pelt and his legs had begun to lose their old muscle.  Too many sunrises of laying in his nest, doing nothing except to fear the nightmares that would attack him as soon as he closed his eyes, but not feeling strong enough to do anything else.  In that way, he and his son had been quite different...

Once Jaystream had fallen silent, Leopardclaw didn't speak.  He contemplated all of this news...his son had died after he attacked an apprentice in his hunger for revenge, in his sadness for his family's misfortune...and in the end, it had only led to his own death as well.  His heart fluttered, and once again the ThunderClan deputy had to hold back a wave of intense emotion.  If I hadn't been so weak...if I had been able to protect my family Reedheart wouldn't have needed to seek out vengeance...this is my fault too.  "...I could never be angry at my son, not truly.  Not after everything...he had to watch his little sister be attacked by Rockthorn, and slowly weaken until she died on these very stones, her tiny lungs too filled with smoke and ash to recover."  He paused for a moment before going on, his mind overtaken by memories.  "When he and Honeyspark were taken by the Mist, I thought that I would never see them again...I don't think I've ever been happier when I saw them run through the camp entrance, right into my paws...they were so young..."  He gulped down the choking lump in his throat, and finally met Jaystream's gaze, the numbness finally replaced with a burning determination that shone from deep within his soul.  "I will not condemn my kit for his actions, because if I was still young and brash like he was...I probably would've done the same thing."  He remembered Bear, how Lichenfang had been stolen away from him, and how he had fought with every bit of his strength to get her back; Reedheart had done the same, but his efforts could never have been fulfilled.  Standing up, the fur along Leopardclaw's spine began to bristle, and his voice came as a low hiss as he took a step towards Jaystream.  "I swear to you, if anyone hurts my clan again, and causes more pain to my family, I will not hesitate to fight until all that's left of them is a single tuft of fur.  My son may have been misguided by grief, but I remember clearly another young apprentice who met a terrible fate here."  His growl held a pointed message, but he was not content to leave it up to interpretation.  "This deed is settled.  If I see one glimpse of your clan come looking for compensation for this apprentice's injury, I promise you they will not find a willing crowd.  We're even, more than even.  Leave my clan in peace as we grieve the memory of my son, and we will do the same for you."  He knew that he had no right to make these claims; he was not the leader, but he was fueled by passion and meant every word.  His gaze intense, he stood tall, and waited to see if the RiverClan deputy would see sense.

The tom lowered his head in respect for the tom's life. Reedheart wasn't perfect... he hurt Cinderpaw and left in a coma with Leafstorm and Blazingpaw by their side. He maimed an apprentice of his clan... but there was his father, crying for the loss of a cat he loved. Reedheart wasn't perfect... but he was loved and had some good in him that Jaystream never knew.

The Riverclan deputy stood up when the other tom approached him, and he met his gaze without turning his face. He didn't even tremble... he wasn't scared at all because he knew... that Leopardclaw's was right about this. Reedheart took Adderpaw's eye but he paid with his own life. There was nothing else to do about this issue. It was over. The tall tom nodded. "You don't have to worry and threaten my clan, Leopardclaw. Riverclan won't request something that is already over. I hope you and your clan respect that too. I'm glad to hear the Thunderclan's growing well. My clan has grown too." He mewed, answering to the clearly angered and aggressive tom. He might not be as fiery as his mother, but Jaystream was also willing to die and kill for his clan.

The tom nodded as a formal goodbye but before he could disappear enter the water of the river, he fixed his green eyes on him one last time. That was the face of a cat who had lost so much in life... family, friends, territory, honour, sanity... For a second, he actually felt truly sorry for that his clan had caused to him. But that moment wasn't going to last because his heart would always be with Riverclan and only with Riverclan. But that didn't mean... he couldn't show his condolences. "I am... truly sorry for your loss, Leopardclaw. I know we're far from being friends... but I'm being honest when I said that." He mewed before swimming back to his land and disappearing in the reeds, heading back to his camp.