Marshpaw's Moonstone Journey

The familiar bundle of traveling herbs hanging from his jaws, Leopardclaw padded across the finally snow-less clearing towards the apprentice den, and placed the pile of leaves and stems down on the ground. Yet another apprentice had finally reached the point in their training when they traveled to meet with StarClan, and the spotted deputy was prepared to escort them. Marshpaw though, had held his apprentice name for far longer than any cat should have to, and it felt strange for the golden tom to be taking a tom that was nearly the same age as he to the Moonstone. "Marshpaw, it's time to go!"

Marshpaw looked up at Leopardclaw's call. His amber eyes showed his enthusiasm for the trip even though he walked patiently to him. The oddity of still being an apprentice did cling to him, but Starclan willing, he wouldn't be one for much longer. He ate the herbs willingly. He knew that he'd need their strength. His stomach clenched as he thought of the cats he might see.

Would it be his mother? Maybe Coyotefang? He swiped his tongue across his jaws as he looked at Leopardclaw meaningfully and nodded for the other tom to begin leading the way.
"I'm ready." He confirmed. His racing mind focused on one hope. To see Wolfp- Wolffang one last time. He hoped that's who he would meet at the moonstone as they walked together through the forest. He looked at Leopardclaw after they got a few taillengths away.

"Leopardclaw..." He began hesitantly. "Did you know Wolffang?" He asked slowly. There was no harm in asking the other tom surely.

"Let's head out then."  Once the dark brown apprentice had finished his preparations, Leopardclaw shook out his spotted pelt and led the way out into the once-again lush forest of ThunderClan territory.  For a moment he remained silent, content with the quiet gap between them, but soon enough Marshpaw spoke up.  The deputy's pawsteps faltered for a heartbeat, before he slowed down to walk alongside the warrior-aged tom.  For a long moment his hazel eyes remained fixed on the path ahead of them, but with a soft reminiscent sigh he turned his head to meet Marshpaw's gaze.  "Yes, I knew Wolffang."  His eyes quickly darted back to the ground though, and silence fell once again.

Marshpaw's watched Leopardclaw's reaction.
"Was she..." He paused. His amber eyes brimmed with tears that he refused to shed. Pointedly he blinked them back and took a deep breath to steady himself. The forest around them offered the comforting noises of prey scuffling in the bushes. Water that dripped off of leaves from a rain not long ago. The lush green vegetation that was so welcoming, and so different from the darker marshes of his home. The marshes he was named after, and had turned his back on.

"Was she happy?" He asked slowly. "Did she live a good warrior's life? I still don't know what brought her to Thunderclan... but it had to have been important." For her to forgo her own family, to leave puddlepaw and Ha- well, he knew about her rift with their mother. That had been evident as kits.

Leopardclaw stopped walking.

As the golden spotted tom's paws halted, his claws dug into the moist leaf-litter as conflicted emotions swept over him, his hazel eyes brimming with a mixture of anxiousness and sorrow.  Dear StarClan, why did he have to be the one to tell him about Wolffang's fate?  With one simple act of kindness, the deputy's life had forever become intertwined with the former ShadowClan she-cat's legacy, and he wasn't sure how exactly he felt about it.  If it led to more moments like this...

"Marshpaw...your sister was a noble cat, who unfortunately made many mistakes, most of which were not easily forgiven."  Seating himself, he gestured with his tail for the brown-pelted tom to do the same.  "I did not know her in her youth like you did, so she may have been a very different cat back then, but I can only tell you what I know now, and I pray to StarClan that this will not tarnish your memories of her."

"Marshpaw...Wolffang was exiled from ShadowClan for attempting to murder their medicine cat, Honeydrop.  I don't know why, I only know what was told at Gatherings, and that's about it.  After she was exiled, she joined a group of rogues led by a brutish tom named Bear.  Bear was capturing clan cats and holding them hostage in the barn across WindClan territory, trying to build up an army so that he could take over the forest.  Wolffang though...was there willingly.  She was his mate, and she bore his kits."

Leopardclaw took a deep, preparing breath.  This next part of the tale, he had never told anyone.  Not Blizzardstar or Darkflight, or his kits...not even Lichenfang.  "There was a battle, set into motion by all five clans to take back our missing cats.  Before the battle though, I was approached in my dreams by Grasswhisker, my old mentor.  She told me about Wolffang, and asked me that, when I saw her, I would send her away from the clans, far far away so that she wouldn't be found and hurt any more.  I agreed, and during the battle I did this.  We fought for a heartbeat, before I realized who she was.  I told her Grasswhisker's message, and instructed her to run away from the clans, over Highstones into the territory beyond.  She...she was scared.  She was willing to listen to me - at the time I was just an apprentice - and....and I understood the fear in her eyes.  The fear of being alone, cast out of the only place you had ever known, forced to fend for yourself...I had sympathy for her.  She was confused, and hurt and scared...she was just a young cat, who's fate had led her down a dark and dangerous path.  I wished her well, and I never expected to see her again...and I never did, at least in life.  A little while after her son, Coyotefang, joined ThunderClan she and Grasswhisker appeared to me in a dream once again, and she told me to look out for her son..."  His voice broke.  "I...I failed her...I'm so sorry."  Lowering his head, Leopardclaw fell silent.  He didn't know how Marshpaw would take this, but a burden had finally been lifted off of his chest.  The secret he had kept for many moons was out in the open air...but he probably would've preferred for it to stay locked away forever.

Marshpaw stopped a couple paces after Leopardclaw. He turned and watched the other tom with concern and a feeling of dread that slowly rose from his stomach at the expression on Leoparclaw's face. As the golden tom gestured, Marshpaw sat down in front of him. Mistakes? Oh starclan... what had Wolffang done?

It was worse than Marshpaw could have imagined. His throat tightened as he was told of her exile. Thoughts immediately turning to Puddlepaw, that must have been the reason. The Wolffang he knew wouldn't have tried to just kill another cat without a reason... would she? His head dipped low as he listened to the other tom's explanation of the rest of her life. His heart clenched painfully at the idea of Wolffang leaving the clans. Leaving home.

If he had returned a few moons earlier... could he have seen her out there?

If he had never been captured, could he have changed her entire fate?

Marshpaw sat with his head bowed before Leopardclaw. A long broken breath leaving him as he fought back the urge to cry, yowl and demand the real truth. The dark tabby was no fool though. He had grown over the many moons, had learned that sometimes, cats change. With her anger towards their mother... with her love for her siblings and losing one already, it must have pushed her into doing the unthinkable. He wasn't certain what to think of the situation with Bear, but she must have been vulnerable then, even if she didn't want to say it.

His sister was a warrior. Just not the one he had been hoping for all this time. He took a deep breath. His body raising as he stood tall before Leopardclaw. A couple tears escaped as he blinked them back, but he resolutely refused to cry. Not here. Not now.

"I can see why it was hard for you to tell me." Marshpaw said slowly. His voice far steadier than he expected as he pressed his head to Leopardclaw's shoulder. "I forgive you, even though I'm not the cat you want to hear it from." He pulled back slowly. With the revelations, the forest itself looked different. Thicker, but lighter. Sadness weighed in his chest, but the feeling of knowing was also a weight off of it. He padded a couple steps away from Leopardclaw as a bird skipped along the forest floor in the distance, but Marshpaw only watched it.

"Thank you." He said slowly, his head turned to look back at Leopardclaw. "I am grateful for your honesty Leopardclaw... I promise I will repay you through my loyalty to Thunderclan." His ears flicked as the bird took off, but he felt too heavy to catch it. "I was aware that time could change cats... It's unfortunate that Wolffang strayed so far from what she could have been. I bet she would have been one of the greatest in the forest..." He looked up wistfully at the thought, then sighed, lowering it once more. "If only she could have loved our mother."

Leopardclaw's bowed head jolted upright as he felt Marshpaw press his dark tabby head against his shoulder, and it took all his self-control to not flinch away from the unfamiliar touch.  Along with the fact that he had never liked when cats - except his mate and kits - broke his physical boundaries...he couldn't help but feel that he was undeserving of the tom's understanding sympathy.  I...I failed her...I failed both of them...  As Marshpaw continued to speak though, the deputy's drooping ears began to prick up again, and his face regained a measure of composure.  

"You deserved to know the truth."  His head bobbed faintly in an accepting nod, though he still felt that the tom's gratitude was unwarranted.  Though he had never spoken out, Leopardclaw had always wondered if Marshpaw would be able to fit into the clan, after his moons spent in the lands of rogues, and his base roots coming from ShadowClan.  The deputy obviously wasn't one to protest - if a pureblooded, unwanted rogue could thrive in ThunderClan, so could a former ShadowClan cat - but now any doubt in his mind was vanquished by Marshpaw's dedication of loyalty.  His hazel eyes beginning to lighten once again, Leopardclaw blinked approvingly, and a hint of a smile crept onto his somber face.

That faded though as the brown tabby tom went on, and he couldn't help but speak up.  "Even though she wasn't a model warrior...Wolffang was a good cat, and always was.  She cared for her kits and family more than for her own safety, and she always held herself with pride and dignity to rival that of a clan leader.  Despite everything...I respect her, truly."  Leopardclaw was silent for a moment, before he rose to his paws.  "When you're ready, we should keep going."

"Did she?" Marshpaw asked softly, his head turned to face Leopardclaw with sadness in his amber eyes. He closed them as he took a slow, steadying breath. "I'm glad to hear it..." A small smile crept onto his muzzle as he padded back to Leopardclaw's side with a firm nod. "We should move on." He said softly. "Thank you."

Marshpaw was silent throughout the rest of the way through the forest. When they reached the windclan moors, he tensed slightly. A memory of running from dogs in a field came to mind, but he forced it back. There were no dogs, only other cats. Enemy warriors, but they had a code. An ethic, that wouldn't kill him. Unlock those vicious beasts, they were reasonable, and had honour. Marshpaw kept his head dipped respectfully as they passed through the growing grass. Content to cause as little of a scene as possible while they travelled.

When they reached the thunderpath, he didn't react much to the strange scent of it. Though it reeked of monsters and their drippings, he remained calm and confident as he crossed it without an ounce of hesitation the moment a break in their pelts appeared. He had done this many times on his journey home, and this thunderpath was tame compared to some of the ones he had encountered. One in particular moved while he had been on it. That had been terrifying as he gripped tight to the strangely textured path. The absence of monsters had been a short-lived blessing as it had lifted up, then went back down.

"Twolegs are strange creatures." He muttered with a single glance back at the still path. Grateful that it wasn't one of those. His tail flicked dismissively at it as he followed Leopardclaw once more.

With a disgust snort directed towards the rancid path they had just crossed, Leopardclaw nodded his agreement.  As they continued on towards the not-so-distant peaks, the golden spotted deputy contemplated.  What a life rogues lead, dodging Two-legs and their monsters in the Twolegplace...how do they stand it?  From the scents on his pelt when he had been found, along with the faint disjointed memories of his early kithood that he preferred to block out, he himself had been born from those odd Twolegplace cats.  Would I have led that kind of life...if things had been different?  Shaking the distracting thoughts from his head, he pushed on as Mothermouth finally came into view.

Without much hesitation Leopardclaw stepped into the pitch black tunnel, and cast one fleeting glance up at the darkening sky before continuing on.  Trusting that Marshpaw was behind him from the sound of his pawsteps against stone, the deputy trod the well-remembered path downward, until they finally emerged into the cavern that housed the Moonstone.  The moon had not risen to it's peak, so Leopardclaw seated himself nearby, and instructed Marshpaw to do the same.  "We must wait until the moon is high...it shouldn't take long."

Marshpaw padded silently behind Leopardclaw. Apprehension siezed him as the darkness of the tunnel loomed, then swallowed them. All at once, he was reminded painfully of the time in that rattling monster. He could almost feel the cold wires under his paws and against his pelt. The cloying stench of twoleg and monster, of creatures trapped with him. The glimpse of beady blinking eyes from a polecat across from him. Hissing and spitting, back arched as it stared him down and nearly his size.

With a blink, it was over. The memory was gone, suppressed once more as the cavern opened out before them. In it's center lay a stone that had been rumoured to glow when the moon rose. Filled with the spirits of their warrior ancestors... his heart clenched to think about his mother... his father... his whole family, in the sky. He barely heard Leopardclaw's words as he stared at it with hope.

Slowly, the stone began to glow. The bright light of the moon and the stars themselves suddenly filled the cavern. It left him in awe. His pelt felt as though sparks were flying beneath it, like his very being itched to join them. Closure. It was so close that he held back a sob of relief and pain. Tears fell slowly onto the ground as he padded the couple steps and pressed his muzzle to the stone. Unashamed as he felt the light consume him.

---

He opened his eyes to the starry plains of Starclan. His amber eyes a splash of bright colour against the darkness of his pelt and the bright glow of the stars. For a fleeting moment, he thought he saw them all. He thought he glimpsed the pelt and gentle gazes of Hazeflight and Puddlepaw. The sterner more confident shape of his father, with faces he didn't know. He didn't see Coyotefang... or Wolffang. His heart sank when he blinked, and they were gone as suddenly and briefly as they had appeared.

"Please..." He whispered softly as he felt a soft breeze ruffle his fur. "Please StarClan... let me speak to them... just one last time."

Forgiveness.

Wolffang butted her head into Puddlepaw's shoulder as they flitted through the starry undergrowth. This place was reminiscent of Thunderclan territory. Although, the mud and puddles that were strewn throughout may have suggested Shadowclan. The dream territory was a strange place. Even after moons of being here, the she-cat was still finding herself in awe of it. Perhaps there it was a mixture of the glow and the idea that she had even been allowed here in the first place. Her maw curved into a soft smile as the scent of their brother hit her nostrils. He was here. A soft meow of a goodbye was directed towards her sister. In the afterlife, they had been able to reconnect. Their whole family had. What once was broke was reunited by the power of Starclan. And now Marshpaw was here to join them.

Thankfully, as much as she wished it at times, he was not here to join them. No, the tom was merely here as a stop on the path to a warriorship he more than deserved. The grey she-cat flicked her tail as she padded away from Puddlepaw and she slid through the dazzling greenery. Striding up behind him, she spoke as she approached, "Welcome, Marshpaw." Wolffang padded around to the front and met his gaze. Her words held a minor humor as she meowed, "I supposed there is no need for the introductions most Starclan cats give. You know me. And thanks to the great Leopardclaw, you know my whole story now." As she mentioned the Thunderclan deputy, her voice was more teasing than anything. Her eyes betrayed the love she held for the tom who had helped to save her life when she did not deserve it. Thanks to his trust in Grasswhisker, and the older warrior's care for her, she had come to do some good with her life.

Love.

Although her pelt was still riddled with the scars of many moons of mistakes, the grizzled she-cat could not have been happier. Her peace had been found in Starclan. Unlike many of the others, her paws were found with cats of most all clans, save for Windclan and Riverclan. As she stood before Marshpaw, Wolffang considered that he must have seen the torn up remnants of a sister he remembered only from their kithood. But, it was evident in her eyes that the physical aspect did not matter much. She might not have been a sight for sore eyes, yet this was what she wanted. Starclan accepted cats in the state in which they were the most joyous, for Wolffang that was not in her youth, but rather through the understanding and love she had developed through the many trials that left her looking like she did now.

Before he could say anything, Wolffang had continued on once more. She had never been known for being one to hold her tongue, "You're probably surprised to see me up here, brother. I was surprised myself that they let me in. But, apparently, if you say Starclan's name enough, they have to let you in." This was supposed to be some joyful reunion and instead, she was here spouting off non-sense and hints of sarcasm as if this was not a cat who she had missed for moons. Wolffang was never the type for emotional moments. Hell, her last moment with her kit had ended with teeth to her throat, and she was perfectly content with it. Finally, she gave in to the moment with a sigh and allowed him time to speak. After all, he had just heard her lovely story of redemption. Marshpaw probably had more than a few things to say himself before they got to the whole point of why he was here.

Hope.

His thoughts were cut through by a voice that sounded oddly familiar. Older, calmer, but so familiar his heart ached in his chest as he turned to face the light amber gaze of his sister. Her grey pelt, so covered in scars that he couldn't help wonder as to what caused them. All at once, he wanted to apologise. He wanted to leap for joy at seeing her, and yet demand answers to the things that Leopardclaw had explained.

None of it mattered though. His sister was here. He had made it, and finally he gave into the impulse to step forward and rest his head against her shoulder. A sob broke through his chest as he breathed in her scent, knowing it would be the last time he ever got to do so.
"Wolf-fang..." He whispered softly, speaking the name with almost a reverance as he drew back to really look at her. "I missed you... Starclan I miss you!" He held back more tears, but they glisstened in his eyes unshed. "I'm so sorry. I didn't come back soon enough... I could have helped you." He looked down at the ground ashamedly.

"I might have been able to prevent the worst parts. I just.. " He looked back up again sharply as his mind implored him that this would be his last chance. "I'm so sorry... can you ever forgive me?"