Amazing Pain (Closed solo)

How long had it been since she had heard anything? There was the moon in the medicine den, and Curlyfeather was pretty sure it had been one or two since she returned to her warrior duties. It couldn't have been more than three moons, yet it felt like it had been an eternity. Now she was nothing more than a burden to her clan, losing all the fights she took part in. Sure, she could still hunt, but it took all of her energy and effort, while all her other clanmates easily made more catches than she ever could. Training Asterpaw seemed to be going well, but it was hard to tell. Her apprentice couldn't ask questions if she needed to, and she hadn't even attempted to speak to her yet. It was undeniable that she was a failure. A useless lump of bones and fur that took more prey than she provided. Nothing more than a horrible fighter and hunter who could barely understand her own clanmates. Just a grumpy disabled cat who didn't deserve to be a warrior. The cat who everyone said they believed in out of pity, but who they knew was actually destined for something quite different. Destined to be a failure. How was she supposed to keep moving forward if she would never hear the voices of her clanmates or the rustling of prey again? Was it even possible to move on knowing what her new fate was? Failing was now the only thing that she seemed good for. Sure, her family loved her and all, but that didn't feed or protect the clan. Nothing she did amounted to anything. Only a select few of her clanmates actually cared about her, and that was probably out of pity or righteousness. What had she ever done to deserve their help? It was downright embarrassing knowing that she did need cats who she had either bullied or used. Maybe her whole life she had been a failure, and now it was just in a different way. Back then at least she had a use, no matter what burdens came with it. But that ThunderClan warrior had took away what she was good at. Hunting and fighting were challenging now. She was nothing but a useless failure, a burden that ShadowClan shouldn't be forced to care for. Thinking about it, if anyone spoke to her the way she was thinking about herself, she would claw their ears off threaten to take their pelts as well. Not that she would even be able to hear their jibes. Looking around, the pine forest no longer seemed to the safe place it once was. Nowhere would truly be safe from herself. Birds were probably calling spiteful cries all around her that she couldn't hear. That she would never hear. A sound hadn't registered in her mind for moons, and likely none would ever again. Just a deaf failure who treated herself like crowfood. Alone in the woods with the strong wind messing up her fur. Unable to hide from the true danger, because that danger was herself. No one could escape from the effects of her failures, especially her. Would it be better just to die, let her useless corpse rot away in the woods? No, that would create more grief for her friends and family. Besides, she could still hunt at least a little. Suicide would just make her even more useless than she already was. And that was saying a lot. Because she was already utterly worthless.
That was when it hit her.
Right in the back of her head. The branch smacked with a ton of force, sending Curlyfeather flying. Landing in the mud, the wind whipped some more into her face. Right then she should have been crying with misery at just how horrible life was going. But one fact changed that. The horrible sound of claws against stone rang loud through her horribly aching head. The sound itself was almost as painful as the wound, too high pitched to sound natural. It had caused her so much pain in the past, unable to get rid of it every time she hit her head. Like someone was clawing at her bare skull. But now, the dreadful sound caused a smile to cross the warrior's face. It was the first sound of any sort that she had heard in literally moons. So what it was the worst sound there was in the world? It was still a sound, even if it was all in her head. High pitched screeching right now wasn't terrible, it was miraculous. A deaf cat could still hear noises inside their head. It was a concept she hadn't even thought of before. From the inside, she could create her own set of sounds. Memories of noises could be her haven. She would not let her days slip away into an endless abyss of silence. Her family needed her to stay strong and motivated. Most of her life would be dedicated to learning how to fight and hunt better. Maybe she could become complete, even without ears. Goals would be met, and new ones would be set. Life wasn't going to be full of failure after failure anymore. All those thoughts happened in just a few moments as she laid with mud splattering against he face. Then the pain of the hit registered, exploding through her head. Maybe StarClan was actually kind, and that was the reason the allowed her to black out.
Where she awoke wasn't in a puddle of mud in the middle of the forest. Now she was in camp, and it was the beginning of Greenleaf. Sun dappled everything and the air was a calming warm. But best of all, there were noises all around her. Birds chipping no longer sounded like they were teasing her, but telling her of what beauty she took for granted. A soft breeze blew, and for once she actually noticed the soft and whispering sound that it brought along with it. Kit versions of herself and Cedarstorm laughed and stomped through mud, while warriors talked quietly amongst themselves. This would have been any ordinary day during her kithood, but now she savored every single sound that she heard. Mud splashing, quiet words, the breeze, birds, and even mice scurrying through the bushes. All the sounds were normal, something everyone else would take no notice of. But to her it was miraculous. In her mind, the only sounds didn't have to be the excruciatingly high pitched ones. They could be the magical and lovely sounds of a happy day in clan life. Something that she hadn't been able to experience in moons. In the back of her mind, she knew that all this was just a dream, none of these sounds were real. But it didn't matter. Real or not, this was a beautiful heaven that she didn't want to have to leave anytime soon. So she didn't. For a long time she just sat there, enjoying the summer's day. Nobody in this dreamworld saw her, no cat stared at where her ears should be. They just spoke normal words that she could hear and understand. Everything felt so much more like home when there was sound. They paradise continued playing out, until the cure claws of reality dragged her harshly back into her silent realm.
Standing up, she still felt the constant pain at the back of her head, but the screeching sound had stopped. Now she could go home, and just play those beautiful songs of life inside her head, and could imagine they were real. And best of all, she wouldn't be useless.